NCIS Newcomer Diona Reasonover Reveals the Advice She Got From Pauley Perrette

NCIS, Diona ReasonoverNCIS fans, it’s time to get to know Diona Reasonover. The 26-year-old actress made her NCIS debut in season 15, but she’s back for season 16 as Kasie Hines in a major way–she’s now a…

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Barry Jenkins On Losing His Temper, Advice From Denzel and Doing a Marvel Movie

After his film “Moonlight” won the Academy Award, Barry Jenkins had a lot of offers — but not from Marvel. The filmmaker stopped by the Variety Studio presented by AT&T at TIFF to talk about his new film premiering tomorrow night, “If Beale Street Could Talk.” When it was pointed out that many indie film directors then go […]

Variety

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Vivica A. Fox's Divorce Advice to Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie

The "Face the Truth" host reveals what you need to know about her new conflict-resolution daytime talk show–and the crazy moments that are coming!
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Kobe’s rehab advice to Sherman: ‘You are not being a baby about it’

Kobe Bryant, who had also suffered an Achilles injury, reached out to his friend Richard Sherman and proved to be a sounding board during his recovery.
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5-on-5: Rookies talk best advice, big purchases and LeBron

We caught up with Deandre Ayton and the Class of 2018 to talk about awards, most anticipated matchups and LeBron’s move to L.A.
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Serena Williams’ Wedding Advice For Meghan Markle Is Simple And Perfect

The two have been friends for a few years now.
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DIY Rapper Russ Gives Career Advice to Students at NYU Talk: ‘The Root of Everything Is Self-Belief’ (EXCLUSIVE)

Confidence, self-sufficiency and a certain amount of audacity were the themes of an hour-plus-long appearance by DIY rapper Russ at New York University’s Steinhardt School on Wednesday, where he told the story behind his own path to success and gave advice on the positives and pitfalls along the way. The 25-year-old Atlanta-based MC’s official debut […]

Variety

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Jaden Smith, Ronnie Fieg Offer Advice to Apparel Industry

LAS VEGAS — This season, Agenda, Capsule and Liberty partnered to present Assembly, a series of workshops, talks and keynotes that addressed various topics or issues plaguing the apparel industry.
On Monday night, Jeff Staple moderated a keynote session with Kith’s Ronnie Fieg and Jaden Smith, the son of Will and Jada Smith, who recently released an album “Syre” and has an animated Netflix series, “Neo Yokio,” a clothing line called Msfts and Just Water, an eco-friendly water company that sells its water in a paper-based bottle.
The talk was sprinkled with a few fun facts and surprise appearances. Smith revealed that the dreadlocks he cut off and took to an award show are now encased in a clear box at his parents’ house, and rapper Fat Joe stood up at one point to thank Fieg for the free Kith product and congratulate Smith on his work. But they also offered some insight for retailers, brands and designers attempting to navigate the changing industry. Here are highlights from the talk:
On deciding which brands to work with:
Ronnie Fieg: “It’s really on a case-by-case basis. Some projects have been more appropriate because of nostalgic purposes like Iceberg. Iceberg in the U.S. is not as

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Gilded-Age Decorating Advice That Holds Up Today

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Scott Disick Says He ‘Doesn’t Need’ to Give Pregnant Khloé Kardashian Any Baby Advice

Scott Disick has three kids of his own — Mason, 7, Penelope, 5 , and Reign Disick, 2 — but he doesn’t think he needs to give pregnant Khloé Kardashian any advice about raising a child.

“Well, if she ever asks I’m sure I would try,” Disick, 34, told E! News at the opening of the Sugar Factory in Bellevue, Washington. “But I feel like all of us are so close that all of our children are kind of brought up in the same vicinity, or one block over, that everybody’s kind of there for each other.”

“I don’t really need to give advice per se because, we are right there. It’s not like long-distance, ‘Hey, maybe you should try this?’ ” he added. “Everybody’s so hands-on that I feel like it will happen within time. So no real advice in that sense.”

Although Kardashian — who is expecting her first child with boyfriend Tristan Thompson — has kept quiet about her pregnancy, even shooting down fans who speculated that she was showing signs of a baby bump in a recently released photo shoot.

In a recent post on her Instagram account of Kardashian modeling a “leather-like” tight denim mini skirt and matching peplum top from her Good American brand, fans quickly began to comment that they could see a baby bump. But even though the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star quickly shut the speculation down, she did leave social media users with a bit of hope.

“This is a peplum shirt. It out at the bottom. It’s just the way the shirt is designed,” she commented on the post. “In some of the next pictures coming up from the SAME shoot, I’m in a crop top. Showing a lot of skin … ”

PEOPLE learned in September that Kardashian, 33, and Thompson, 26, are expecting a baby.

RELATED VIDEO: Khloe Kardashian Is Pregnant! Revealed Days After Kylie Jenner’s Big Baby News

“Yes, Khloé and Tristan are expecting and they are absolutely thrilled,” a source told PEOPLE at the time. “This isn’t something they were in a rush to announce to the whole world, and it’s only been in just the past week or so that they’ve felt comfortable telling most of their inner circle.

Kardashian and Thompson have been dating since September 2016

The pregnancy news came just four days after PEOPLE confirmed that Kardashian’s sister Kylie Jenner is expecting her first child, a daughter.

Earlier this week, Kardashian and Jenner were “full-blown twinning” in a Snapchat clip while filming a video for Jenner’s Kylie Cosmetics YouTube channel.


PEOPLE.com

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Jimmy Kimmel Brings Down The House With Some Advice For Donald Trump Jr.

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Tom Jones postpones tour after ‘medical advice’

Sir Tom Jones has postponed a US tour “following medical advice” – prompting dozens of concerned comments from loyal fans.
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Raven Symone's Advice for Younger "Raven's Home" Stars

The "Raven's Home" actress offers words of wisdom for her young costars. What did she tell Navia Ziraili Robinson? Watch.
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He doesn’t need a haircut – or your advice (Yahoo Sports)

Colin Kaepernick

Everyone has an opinion about what Colin Kaepernick should do, but by following his own playbook, the quarterback’s message carries more weight.



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Maci Bookout on Best Parenting Advice She's Received

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Steve Carell Finally Took Ryan Gosling’s ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ Advice IRL

Whose mans is this?

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Milo Ventimiglia on This Is Us Season 2 Pressures (Or Lack Thereof), Fatherly Advice and All That Focus on Death

Milo Ventimiglia, This Is UsMilo Ventimiglia, TV’s No. 1 dad isn’t a father in real life, but that doesn’t stop him from helping out fans with some fatherly advice–even if it’s not asked…

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Alec Baldwin Tweets Advice To Under-Fire Kathy Griffin

Actor Alec Baldwin has used Twitter to offer some words of comfort to under-fire comedian Kathy Griffin.

Griffin faced a backlash this week after she posed with a bloody mask depicting President Donald Trump’s decapitated head. At an emotional press conference on Friday, she slammed members of the Trump family for subsequently bullying her on social media.

Soon after, Baldwin tweeted Griffin his support:

“Kathy… fuck them. Fuck them all,” wrote Baldwin, who has also faced Trump’s repeated wrath over his potrayal of him on “Saturday Night Live.”

“No 1 believes u meant 2 threaten Trump,” he added. “Trump is such a senile idiot, all he has is Twitter fights.”

Baldwin also recalled a similar backlash he faced in 1998, when he sparked outrage for joking about killing the now late Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Il) on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien.”

Read all of Baldwin’s tweets here:

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Don’t Bother Girls, and Other Life Advice from Bill O’Reilly’s New Book

How bout that.

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The Best Advice I Have for Coming Out to Your Family

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Margaret Atwood’s Advice For Young Feminists: ‘Be Informed, Be Aware’

It’s an International Women’s Day miracle! Margaret Atwood, author of the classic feminist dystopia The Handmaid’s Tale, took to the internet today bearing gifts: A new teaser for the Hulu series adaptation of the book, a takeover of the series’ Instagram account, and a Reddit AMA bursting with feminist inspiration

Over the course of her AMA, the speculative fiction doyenne offered Reddit users insights about her work, the upcoming “Handmaid’s Tale” series, and the feminist struggle. A major topic of discussion was the dystopian novel ― timely due to both its soon-to-be-released TV version and the timeliness of the book’s events. The Handmaid’s Tale takes place in a future North America in which a theocratic regime has seized power and dramatically rolled back women’s rights. 

April 1984, starting to type The Handmaid’s Tale in West Berlin. — Margaret Atwood #HandmaidsTale

A post shared by The Handmaid's Tale (@handmaidsonhulu) on

Here are some of the big takeaways:

Young feminists need to stay informed about threats to their rights.

In one response, Atwood encouraged young women to be politically engaged ― a fitting message from the author of a book that’s had such a profound impact on many feminists today. “Be informed, be aware,” she wrote, urging feminists to try “to prevent the roll-back that is taking place especially in the area of women’s health. Who knew that this would ever have to be defended? Childbirth care, pre-natal care, early childhood care ― many people will not even be able to afford any of it.”

The consequences of women losing access to reproductive healthcare would be dire.

If these healthcare battles were to be lost, Atwood was clear that the damage would be severe: “Dead bodies on the floor will result.”

Sexual assault is still a problem, and we need to be able to defend ourselves.

“There is the whole issue of sexual violence being used as control ― it is such an old motif.” She suggested one concrete, practical step for women to take immediately: “If I were a younger woman I’d be taking a self-defense course,” she advised. “It’s an unsettled time.”

The dystopian world she created in The Handmaid’s Tale seems increasingly possible here and now.

When one Reddit user went so far as to posit that the U.S. “is basically on the road to becoming Gilead” (the theocratic, patriarchal totalitarian state in The Handmaid’s Tale), Atwood didn’t disagree. “I cannot tell you how strange this feels,” she admitted. “I wrote the book hoping to fend it off, and I believe it will be fended off: America is very diverse, a lot of people have been jolted out of political slumber and are paying attention, and the Constitution still stands.”

Comparing the 2017 screen adaptation of the novel to a 1990 film version, she noted that times had changed: “That world is closer now! […] then, many people were saying, ‘It can’t happen here.’ Now, not so much.”

The Hulu series won’t downplay the anti-woman dystopian themes. 

During the AMA, she had high praise for the Hulu series, which she helped write and on which she’s credited as a consulting producer. “It goes farther than I did in the book,” she revealed. 

How exactly does it go farther? Let’s just say: We can’t wait to find out.

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The Advice I Follow: ‘Conquer by Continuing’

By James Smith
UCF Forum columnist

Even though they have the best of intentions, about this time of year many people start setting aside their New Year’s resolutions – if they haven’t already.

Do you have any left or have they all been abandoned for another try in 2018?

For me, there are the usual resolutions of losing weight, eating better, spending more time with the family, helping others more, cleaning out the garage, landscaping around the house, renovating the kitchen, etc.

To help me try to be successful and accomplish my goals, I keep in mind a simple quote by Scottish minister and hymnist George Matheson: “We conquer by continuing.” This direct approach by Matheson, who lived from 1842 to 1906, can be an encouragement for each of us.

This year, I decided to follow through with two resolutions that have eluded me for years.

On the health front, I want to lose weight and start eating better. To accomplish this, I have purchased a wearable device that tracks my activities and have started the logging process of exercise and daily life, including my food intake.

The other resolution is to learn a new language. The Hebrew and Greek languages have long fascinated me, so this year I am resolved to learn a Greek word every day with the help of a desktop calendar that focuses on Greek word studies. My goal is to learn enough Greek to start reading more of the original Greek texts from the early Christian church and expand my overall understanding of that particular period of time.

There are other benefits of keeping resolutions.

I hope to develop new habits for daily reading, study and other routines. Working on better time management can have a positive effect on other areas of your life that you may not realize. And eating better leads to exercise, which then leads to wanting to get more/better sleep.

If you feel better and have more energy, those long-lost “honey do” list projects seem achievable. Can I complete my “honey do” list in 2017? Only time will tell.

As we move deeper into 2017, I hope your resolutions are still intact and you are making progress on accomplishing the goals you have set for the year.

Keep George Matheson’s quote about perseverance in mind.

The Scotsman attended Glasgow Academy and the University of Glasgow, where he graduated first in classics, logic and philosophy. Then at age 20, he became blind, but persevered to enter the ministry. He dedicated the remainder of his life to theological and historical studies.

So, whatever you have resolved to accomplish, just like Matheson you can conquer by continuing.

Jim Smith is assistant director of the UCF Valencia Osceola Campus. He can be reached at Jim.Smith@ucf.edu.

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‘The Bachelor’ Nick Viall Shares Some Of His Best Breakup Advice

If anyone’s fit to give breakup advice, it’s current “Bachelor” star (and sometimes villain!) Nick Viall.  After all, this guy was runner-up twice on “The Bachelorette,” first on Andi Dorfman’s season and then on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s.

In the the E! News video above, Viall breaks down some of the worst ways to end a relationship, including the classic “It’s not you, it’s me.” 

“It’s important to remember that when someone says, ‘It’s not you, it’s me,’ that it is definitely you and they absolutely do not think it’s them,” he says.

Ouch.

Watch the video above for more. 

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The Bush Twins Have Advice for Sasha and Malia Obama

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Best Advice on Life After Baby Arrives

Best Advice on Life After Baby Arrives


Best Advice on Life after Baby Arrives presents tried-and-true, practical tips for moms, from moms. Addressing a mother’s needs and issues – from how to deal with the inevitable exhaustion, to reconnecting romantically with her husband, to carving out time for herself – this book provides comfort, reassurance and inspiration to women facing the demanding first months after the baby arrives. “I ended up having panic attacks right after I had my first baby, because I didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Well, here I am with four kids now, and I can tell you it does get better. What you’re going through isn’t what things will always be like. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, make you feel guilty for doing something for yourself.” “Get up 30 minutes earlier than everyone else and make it clear to everyone in the house that this is your time.” “As long as your baby has food in her belly, clothes on her back, and is not overly wet, then that time is yours. You don’t need to get in the habit of holding the baby all the time. Babies also need to learn to become independent – they need to know that someone doesn’t need to hold them all the time.

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The Best Advice Elle Fanning Ever Got Was From Nicole Kidman

The cover star of Elle UK’s February issue is none other than actress Elle Fanning, the star of movies like “Maleficent,” “Trumbo,” and the upcoming film “20th Century Women,” which will premiere Feb. 10.

As part of the magazine’s theme on finding happiness, the publication asked readers to send in their personal dilemmas and questions for Fanning to address, and the 18-year-old actress proved wise beyond her years. 

When asked about the best advice she’s ever received, Fanning said:

Nicole Kidman told me, “Find your tribe and they’ll always be behind you.” I like that.

Deep stuff, right?

Fanning also provided advice on how to move on from an ex when living in an age dominated by social media, cautioning, “ … between Snapchat and Instagram, you can see everything — especially them with a new partner. But it’s damaging so you have to stop.”

You can check out more of the interview here.

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Thirteen Pieces of Life Advice That Fifty Year Olds Know and Twenty Year Olds Don’t

What do 50-year-olds know that 20-year-olds often don’t? originally appeared on Quorathe knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.

Answer by Franklin Veaux, small business owner, sexuality educator, writer, on Quora:

When your heart breaks, you will feel like you will never love again, and you will be alone forever and ever. That feeling is a lie. The night passes. Dawn comes. You will be all right.

When you meet a stranger and your eyes lock across a crowded room, and every fiber of your heart and soul sings “Yes! Yes! This is the one! I am in love!” you are not in love. That’s the very old part of your brain saying, “Our offspring would have excellent immune systems.” You can not love someone you do not know. When you feel that feeling a couple of times, you’ll learn to recognize it for what it is.

Movie stars do not make good science analysts, political thinkers, or life coaches. If you take medical advice from former Playboy centerfolds instead of doctors or think that B-list movie actors are better sources of political ideas than actual political scholars, you’re apt to end up somewhere you don’t want to be.

All the angst and turmoil and alienation you feel is as old as written history. You aren’t the first to feel these things and you won’t be the last. All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

Incremental progress toward your goal is better than stomping your foot and saying “If I can’t have everything I want right now, I’m going to burn it all down!” Incremental progress is progress. It is impossible for dead Utopians to build Utopia.

The world changes faster than you think it does. I was born into a world where everyone believed the eternal struggle between the Soviet Union and the Americans would destroy humankind. Being gay was still illegal in many states when I was born. Now gays and lesbians can marry, and there are voters who weren’t alive when the USSR was a thing. See reference to “incremental progress is still progress” above.

The things you consider life or death matters of supreme importance now, you might not even remember, much less care about, thirty years from now. Choose your battles wisely.

It takes decades to develop a reputation for integrity and trustworthiness, and just one single decision to destroy it.

Other people are real. They matter just as much as you do.

Nothing is as simple as you think it is, even when you factor in nothing is as simple as you think it is.

Small decisions have big consequences down the road. Imagine a space probe on its way to Mars. The tiniest, tiniest course correction at the beginning of the trip can mean making it there or missing by millions of miles. Every time you’re scared to do what you want to do, yet you do it, in any matter, however, small, you’re making a tiny course correction. Added up over time, they make a huge difference in your life and take you somewhere awesome.

Life rewards courage.

If you’re ever stuck in a position where you have to make a choice but you don’t know the right thing to do, the right thing to do is usually the thing that takes the most courage.

This question originally appeared on Quora – the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

More questions:

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TalkTalk’s wi-fi hack advice is ‘astonishing’

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Colorado Guide Flies: Patterns, Rigs and Advice From the State’s Best Anglers and Guides

Colorado Guide Flies: Patterns, Rigs and Advice From the State’s Best Anglers and Guides


Colorado Guide Flies: Patterns, Rigs and Advice From the State’s Best Anglers and GuidesPat DorseySTACKPOLE BOOKS, September 2015HardcoverISBN: 1-934753-33-5Our friend Pat Dorsey’s new book is awesome. What if you could peer into the fly boxes of the guides who make their living helping people catch fish, day in & day out? With this comprehensive guide to the best patterns for Colorado rivers & reservoirs, now you can. 600 color photos, 9×11 inches, 340 pgs. Scroll down for more details and availability
List Price: $ 29.95
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Drone website to give safety advice after near-misses

A ‘Dronecode’ website with advice for users on how to operate the machines safely has been set up following a spate of near-misses with planes.
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Porn Stars Have a Vital Piece of Advice When It Comes to Dick Pics

Pay attention.

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We needed this right now.

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Disaster Survival Preparation – What Food and Supplies to Purchase Now For Emergency Survival – And Much More – 101 World Class Expert Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice on Survival and Emergency

Disaster Survival Preparation – What Food and Supplies to Purchase Now For Emergency Survival – And Much More – 101 World Class Expert Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice on Survival and Emergency


Information is power, you know that. But, how do you research the best Survival and Emergency strategies, without spending too much of your time (and money) on it? The average person earns $ 1100 per week, which equates to $ 27 per hour. Trying to do the research yourself would take you at least 5 hours to come up with the best information, AND you’ll have to do this on a regular basis to come up with the most up to date and current information. There has to be a different way to find the info you want! Well, yes there is. we did all the research for you, combed through all the information and got down to the hard core of the 101 most up to date and best Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice here, in this book. The 101 of the most current, most actual and beneficial Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice you can find from experts in the field on Survival and Emergency: – The Importance of Exercising Discretion With Regards to Your Survival Emergency Preparations – 7 Things That Will Cause Your Emergency Power Generator to Fail When You Need it Most – Electrical Fire Extinguisher – Taking Real Form in Carbon Dioxide Extinguishers – Emergency Door Unlocking – A Free Community Service Dedicated to Saving Lives – Which is Better For Long Term Food Supply – Freeze Dried Or Dehydrated? – Emergency Long Term Food Supply – Freeze Dried Foods & Dehydrated Foods – Making the Correlation Between Emergency Preparedness and Blood Supply – Fire Protection Equipment – As Part of Competence and Risk Assessment – Top Ten Reasons I Desperately Needed to Rotate My 72 Hour Kit Foods – Carbon Monoxide Alarm – As Safety Device For Homes and Businesses. And Much More.

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Quiksilver Waterman Sage Advice Button Down Shirt – Red Tea

Quiksilver Waterman Sage Advice Button Down Shirt – Red Tea


The Quiksilver Waterman Sage Advice button down features a tribal print, sandwashed fabric, and an orange flag label on the side seam. It’s made from 86% polynosic / 14% polyester. Machine washable.
List Price: $ 69.95
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ADVICE 14: How Do I Break Up With My Parents?

2016-02-18-1455830670-5402497-CostanzaTherapy.jpg
Photo Credit: Brent Stoller

To send in a question, please complete this short Google form. All submissions are anonymous, even to the author.

*****

Two quick reminders:

1. Please send in your questions by completing this Google form.

2. Check back Wednesdays and Fridays for the latest edition of ADVICE in the GPS for the Soul section.

On to today’s question…

(Questions have been modified for space and clarity.)

My story is a complicated one. I’m an only child, and I have anxiety and depression. After work I just like to come home, eat, clean up and go to bed. I don’t go out to bars or clubs. No drinking, no drugs.

I have a healthy relationship with a boy. We live together, and I’m head-over-heels in love with him. We fight, communicate, compromise. He’ll be my husband one day.

My mother is bipolar. She has horrible anxiety. She thinks no one likes her or wants to be around her. My father is hard-working. Their relationship isn’t perfect, but they love each other.

As an only child, I was always very close with my parents. My mother relied on me solely when she and my father fought. Girl time. Growing up, I always said I’d move next door and live there with her forever and always be her best friend. Now, I live about 10 miles away (if that), but I work full time, pay my own bills, and live with my boyfriend.

I’m not sure at what point my relationship with my mother got toxic. I go and try, but I know it’s going to be a fight. The minute she says something mean, I tell her I love her, hug her and leave. I won’t put up with it, and I won’t put up with her being rude around my boyfriend. This makes my blood boil thinking about it.

It’s my understanding that parents are to raise their child to be independent, happy and healthy. But with my mom, she seems to want me to rely on her constantly, even at the age of 27.

I can’t cut my mother out of my life. Life is short; she might not be here tomorrow. But without being a completely horrible daughter, how do I break up with my parents?
–Jesibird; Charleston, WV

It’s easy to understand why you’re so heated. You suffer from anxiety and depression, yet you’ve figured out how to manage those challenges. You have a job, a loving relationship and a life of your own. So it’s only natural that you’d wonder: Why can’t my mother do the same?

STANDARD DISCLAIMER ALERT: I am not a doctor, and I have no medical comprehension of bipolar disorder. But as you explained it, your mom’s seems to have manifested in the beliefs that nobody likes her and nobody wants to be around her. Lucky for her, she’s always had you.

You said you didn’t know when your relationship with your mom turned toxic. My guess is it started when you began establishing your independence. Maybe it was when you started paying your own bills, or maybe it was when you got serious with your boyfriend.

From your mom’s perspective, each step you’ve taken toward independence has been a step away from her. She’s seeing that you’re not going to be moving next door, that your life is not going to revolve around her, that you’ll no longer be playing the role of safety net.

It goes without saying that your mother needs help. She’s not healthy, she hasn’t been healthy, and the only way she’ll become healthier is by working with a professional.

You, on the other hand, seem to be doing well. Despite your mother’s troubles, she raised a fine daughter. And as you’ve demonstrated, the best way to ensure that trend continues is to create a healthy separation with your mother. You’ve been her rock, her best friend and her therapist. But it’s now time for you to just be her daughter.

This might be a cop-out, but I think you should keep doing what you’re doing. It sounds like you’re on the right path. You’ve established physical boundaries by moving out of your parents’ house, and you’ve established emotional boundaries by 1) creating a life of your own, and 2) telling your mom that you won’t tolerate her mistreating you — and removing yourself from the situation when she does.

Beyond that, it might help adjusting the way in which you view your mother. On the surface, she comes off as unappreciative, meddlesome, even mean. But beneath that is real pain. She’s ill, and to some degree, she can’t control her behavior, which is why she needs professional help.

Remember that the next time she lashes out. While you don’t know what it’s like to be bipolar, you are familiar with anxiety and depression. That awareness can help you be more sympathetic and less affected by her outbursts.

I’d also suggest continuing to work on yourself. If you are battling anxiety and depression, talk to someone about it. Get into therapy. The best thing you can do is to keep getting stronger. That will not only increase your own happiness, but it will bolster the boundaries you’ve already built while making you that much more capable of supporting your mother.

COMING FRIDAY: On Marital Rape…

Need more ADVICE? Check out the most recent installments:

ADVICE 13: Lessons From The Bachelor Love Triangle

ADVICE 12: Is My Boyfriend Suicidal?

ADVICE 11: The Conversational Trick Everyone Should Know

ADVICE 10: How Do I Become a Writer?

ADVICE 09: I Was Sexually Abused by My Brother and Father

ADVICE 08: My Husband’s an Alcoholic

To send in a question, please complete this short Google form. All submissions are anonymous, even to the author.

___________________

If you — or someone you know — need help, please call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If you are outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of international resources.

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Kathie Lee Gifford Offers Kelly Ripa & Michael Strahan Advice After Live! Drama

Live With Kelly and Michael, Kathie Lee Gifford, Kelly Ripa, Michael StrahanKelly Ripa and Michael Strahan have gotten some earnest and somewhat stern advice from a woman who had done their job for a very long time: Kathie Lee Gifford.
Ripa and Strahan have been…

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A Decades-Old Study, Rediscovered, Challenges Advice on Saturated Fat

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Obama Gives Kanye West Some Advice About Getting Into Politics

President Barack Obama gave Kanye West some advice about getting elected on Saturday. 

The rapper recently announced he was running for president in 2020. Obama, alluding to the inability of House Republicans to find a new speaker, suggested Kanye could be a candidate for that position instead.

“You may have heard that Kanye is thinking about running for Speaker of the House. It couldn’t get any stranger,” Obama said at a fundraiser in San Francisco. He dispensed some tips ”in case Kanye is serious about this whole POTUS thing, or as Kanye calls it, ‘Peezy.'”

“Do you really think this country is going to elect a black guy from the south side of Chicago with a funny name to be president of the United States?” Obama said. “That’s cray.”

“Saying you have a beautiful dark twisted fantasy — that’s what’s known as ‘off message’ in politics,” he continued.

Obama also suggested that West’s appearances on “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” might serve him well in politics.

“You got to deal with strange characters who behave as if they are on a reality TV show,” Obama said. 

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Celeb Planner Mindy Weiss’s Best Wedding Advice: You Heard It Here First

As we mentioned last month, celebrity wedding planner Mindy Weiss (the brains behind Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan’s wedding, as well as Jimmy Kimmel’s) recently offered to share her best wedding planning advice with real…


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Taking My Own Advice

A human being is a part of the whole called by us, the “Universe” — a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Decades later and Albert Einstein’s words still hold much value and truth.

We are not separate from the whole. This is the understanding I came to after living a life on the opposite end of the spectrum.

When I studied adolescent development in graduate school, I was particularly fascinated with the theory of egocentrism and the concept of personal fables: As teenagers, we hold the belief that we are unique and special, separate from the rest. We desire to be the center of attention, and believe that nobody could ever understand our personal experiences.

Thinking back to my younger years, I felt like nobody understood me. The theory relates to adolescents specifically, but I wonder if it could be applied to one’s entire lifespan, depending on a person’s development. It’s only been in the last two years that I have let go of my personal fable and have come to integrate and embody the depth of Einstein’s words.

So why is this important?

I travelled to India, embarking on a journey of transformation and when I returned I was living by Einstein’s words: seeing the energy everywhere I went, experiencing the intricate connections that exist in everything, viewing life as one giant web, each moment interwoven into the next.

However, I was undermining a very important reality… One’s individual journey.

I came back to North America to a loved one who had fallen ill and decided that, with all the tools I had acquired while away, it was my responsibility to heal this person. I had learned so much about health and healing during my travels and felt like I held the key to her recovery.

How many of you have experienced that moment when you’re suddenly filled with hope, believing that you’ve discovered the missing link to another’s liberation?

When I was away I faced my own health issues and came to appreciate the importance of treating the body like a temple so that it is able to heal.

How we nourish ourselves in terms of what we consume and the kind of attention we give our bodies has a huge impact on our health. Self-love is essential in this equation.

And when I realized this, I was determined to transmit this “knowing” and “awaken” all those around me, adhering to Einstein’s notion that we are not separate from the whole.

But here’s the thing I was undermining: While there is truth in the fact that we are all one, it’s not our job to make others see what we see and do what we do.

Every person is here to experience his or her own journey and all we can do is commit to our own path, take the necessary steps to stay on course, lend a helping hand to those who desire support and love and accept those who don’t.

I know that staying away from processed foods, refined sugars, and GMOs is critical when it comes to treating my body well; I know that exercising from a loving place and consciously moving my body on a regular basis is fundamental to my health; I know that meditating daily supports my mental clarity and stability; I know that drinking tons of water and getting good sleep impacts my vitality; And I now know that it’s not my role to impose these truths on others who are not willing to receive them.

You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

Disease occurs when energy is blocked inside the body and what we consume in the process has massive impact on our ability to release those blockages. I have read a plethora of research papers on the importance of nutrition, exercise and a loving mindset when it comes to healing the body. I have watched my own health transform based on these facts. And yet, I cannot enforce these lessons. All I can do is live by them.

This created a lot of personal pain and frustration at one point — I had to give up the role of savior, even with those I love most in this world.

Many of us grow up attached to this identity (e.g., the savior, the giver, the martyr, the helper, etc.), especially women. We are conditioned to believe that it is our obligation to heal/save/fix/change the people we love in this world. But it’s not.

While giving up this identity was painful, it has also been one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned.

It’s not up to us to light another person’s flame; we must ignite our own flame while loving those around us, as they are, and know that the flame may catch at some point… or it may not.

The butterfly effect is something to consider, especially in relation to Einstein’s words: A small change made in this complex system of life can have huge consequences elsewhere… But it is not our role to ensure that happens. Instead, we must trust in the unfolding and continue living our own truth.

Again, we may think we have the solutions for others’ pain. We may be convinced that if she stopped comparing herself to others and had more love and appreciation for her body in this moment or he was willing to see the mind-body connection and work through the emotional hurt in order to heal the physical pain than everything would be different.

While these things may be accurate, there’s a fine line between knowing something to be true and inflicting it onto those who are not ready to receive it.

Thus, after spending countless months trying to make other people see what I see and do what I do and witnessing more damage come from this process than good, I have chosen to surrender and trust in the butterfly effect.

I choose to embody what I preach, instead of merely talking the talk and expecting others to follow; I choose to infuse love into everything I do, whether it’s the food I eat, the activities I engage in, or the stillness I come to; I choose to lend a helping hand to anybody who crosses my path and desires support; And when I fall into an old pattern of neglect, self-hatred, comparison, or lack of presence, I choose to see it and I bring compassion into the equation.

We are human beings — accepting that this is an ongoing journey of growth is part of the process.

So what can we do when it comes to helping those we love?

We can live by what we speak. We can love and honor our bodies every moment of the day. We can help those who want support, while trusting that they have all the inner resources needed. We can light our own fires and allow them to burn brightly. We can be the change. And we can trust that everyone is doing the best they can.

And it’s still a work in progress, as Rumi states, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

5 Times John Green Offered Advice Everyone Should Follow

John Green has a way with words, even when they’re not on the pages of his best-selling books. 

Between building up his Nerdfighter community with his brother, Hank, and racking up more than 4.5 million Twitter followers, Green has found time to offer words of wisdom in interviews and vlogs, through Tumblr posts and Reddit “Ask Me Anything” sessions. In honor of his 38th birthday on August 24 (which the author is celebrating by matching donations to Water.org), we’ve gathered some of his most inspiring messages. From talking about dating to opening up about mental health, here are five times John Green offered some wonderful nuggets of wisdom.

1. When he had the perfect response to a fan whose boyfriend said she was too smart for him.

In a video from 2010, Green responded to fans after asking them on Twitter if they were dealing with any problems. “My boyfriend says I’m too smart for him, but I really like him. Should I start acting stupid?” a fan asked. After turning into “a giant squid of anger,” he gave the best answer.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. The Venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t want to date is a circle.” 

2. When he offered some kind words to a fan on Tumblr.

A 22-year-old fan with cerebral palsy who identifies as bisexual reached out to Green on Tumblr, asking “How are we to deal with prejudice that comes from within our own families?” Though Green began his humble reply by stating he didn’t know “how to give advice,” he offered an inspiring message.


I don’t know how to give advice but I just want to say that you are a human being, and you are important and cared for. Neither your disabilities nor your sexual orientation make you less human than any other person–you are complex and important and worthy of love. There are people–and I’m very sorry if such people are in your family–who seek to dehumanize the other. Maybe the are [sic] scared and maybe they are acting out systemic biases they inherited and maybe they don’t know how to include you in their overly narrow definition of personhood, but that is not about you. That is not your fault. You are not broken or wrong; the social order is.

 

3. When he gave advice for those figuring out what to do with their lives.


Study broadly and without fear. Learn a language if you can because that will make your life more interesting. Read a little bit every day. But most importantly try to surround yourself with people you like and make cool stuff with them. In the end, at least in my experience, what you do isn’t going to be nearly as interesting or important as who you do it with.

 

4. When he opened up about his mental health.

During a Reddit “Ask Me Anything” session, a fan asked Green if he had any advice for “people who suffer from depression and the like.” The author answered by talking about his own mental health before closing with some encouraging words.


There is hope. There is treatment. You are not alone, and while I know the struggle feels at times completely hopeless and futile, there is a far shore for the vast majority of people, and I wish you the best.

 

5. When he talked about what makes someone a “nerd” — and why it’s a good thing.


I love nerds! I am obsessed with nerds. I have a great affection for people who are intellectually engaged with the world, and who, who don’t treat everything superficially. And I think when people talk about nerdiness, what they’re really talking about is smart people who are trying to think hard about the world, and I don’t think that’s an insult, I think that’s a great thing.

 

And as a bonus, here’s one last quote from Green that might not count as wisdom, but still serves as some pretty solid advice.

Happy birthday, John!

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Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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The Best Celebrity Advice from Mondays with Marlo

We’ve had so many wonderful celebrity guests over the years, and they’ve all left us with a little something to remember. Whether it was a lesson, a bit of advice, or even just a funny story, they shared something we all can relate to; the little things that get us through the day. So we decided to collect a few of our favorite celebrity tips and share them with you. Celebrities – they’re just like us, only famous!

Check out our guests in the video above:

You can submit all your questions for our future guests on Mondays with Marlo on Twitter and Facebook


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Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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What You Don’t Know and Your Boss Won’t Tell You: Advice from Senior Female Executives on What You Need to Succeed

What You Don’t Know and Your Boss Won’t Tell You: Advice from Senior Female Executives on What You Need to Succeed


To move ahead in your career you need to be concerned about many issues that are not taught in school or the company handbook. What You Don’t Know and Your Boss Won’t Tell You covers a wide range of topics explored candidly by experienced female executives who learned how to navigate the unspoken and often debilitating rules of corporate life. This book will show you how to actively manage your career, communicate in the language of business, find leadership opportunities and good mentors, and develop a personal style that projects confidence and competence. The book also shows how you can handle the nuances of dating, emotions, and office politics, how to understand the rigors and rules of business travel, and ways to balance work and family comfortably. Unlike other books geared toward women on how to succeed in corporate life, What You Don’t Know and Your Boss Won’t Tell You offers specific advice from a group of successful female executives that will help empower women to take char
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12 Pieces Of Advice For Artists More Practical Than ‘Follow Your Heart’

 ”Follow your heart.” “Trust your gut.” “Find your voice.” “Stay true to your vision.”

It’s not that there isn’t merit to these oft-touted nuggets of wisdom for aspiring artists, it’s just that, sometimes, following your heart won’t help you pay rent on time. 

If you’re looking for the kind of advice that, while it may not look as great on an inspirational postcard, will help you actually sustain yourself as a working artist, we highly suggest Alix Sloan‘s Launching Your Art Career: A Practical Guide for Artists.

Sloan, a curator and consultant, enlists the help of 40 artists and dealers to compile a bullshit-free guide to making art, making connections, making sales and making money. We’ve compiled some of our favorite parts below, to give you a taste. 

Behold, 12 pieces of actually practical advice for a struggling, emerging or really any sort of artist.

1. Take the job. “Don’t be one of those cliché art school kids who considers himself above the idea of art as commodity. Take the commercial work. Take the design work. Do the band’s poster for $ 20 and a six-pack. Do whatever it takes to be able to call yourself a working artist. It’s a noble title, regardless of the particulars.” Noah Antieau, art dealer

2. Make nice! “Your best connections are your peers. Stay in contact with them. Be curious. Visit other artist’s studios and add like-minded people to your mailing list.” -Cara Enteles, artist

3. Do you. “Aim to have people recognize your work in a crowded room … to know immediately that it’s undeniably yours.” -Lori Field, artist 

 4. Get some perspective. “Gaining perspective by observing your practice amongst a field of others, and the culture and time in which it is done, is a career goal that follows a wide arc … It is not the sole responsibility of your art dealer, for example, to place your work in cultural context, nor should you allow this without your input.” -Martin Kruck, artist 

5. It’s just another job. “When I’m talking with younger artists I stress that making, exhibiting and selling art in a commercial gallery is just like any other job one hopes to be successful at. It means working hard, honoring deadlines and trusting your co-workers to do their jobs well too.” -William Baczek, art dealer

6. Don’t go crazy with the zeros. “Don’t raise your prices too fast because once they are up, you should not lower them.” -Jayme McLellan, art dealer 

7. More, more, more! “Feed your output with as much input (books, lectures, films, leisure, rest) as you can handle, and in some cases, more than you can manage.” -Didier William, artist 

8. Keep your friends close and your inspiration closer. “Now there are endless images at your fingertips, but you need to find the ones that awaken your creativity and keep them near to you. Sometimes it can be something blurry and vague … I have this one little scrap of paper with a very low-res image of a kitten’s face on it, and something about it makes me come back to it again and again, trying to capture something elusive about it. When you find an image like that, hold onto it like it was gold.” -Marion Peck, artist 

9. Get that domain name stat. “You don’t need business cards. You do need a website.” -Zach Feuer, art dealer

10. Don’t get comfortable. “You may have to work at a real job while you are making this happen. DO NOT get a creative job. Get a job you won’t get comfortable in. Save all your creative juices for your own art practice!” -Martha Rich, artist  

11. Embrace the tribe. “It’s good to remember (not when you are making new work as it might be better to forget) that there are armies of manically mono-focused people (I almost said monsters) out there who want something close to what you want. They are your tribe, not your enemy.” -David Humphrey, artist 

12. Go outside. “Stay deeply connected to what’s going on in your own art world. Under no circumstances isolate yourself in the studio with a solitary practice, thinking you’re some kind of lone wolf or Van Gogh.” -Mark Wolfe, art dealer

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Arts – The Huffington Post
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Why We Are Able to Give Advice But Not Take Our Own

Many grow up and have grown up in a society where we are patiently (or impatiently) waiting for someone to save us. What exactly we’re being saved from is never quite clear, but it is well-known that whatever it is- we must be saved from it. And in our salvation we are hereby granted some magical ability to be forever absolved of any pain — or so you would think.

Here’s the problem: Not recognizing that you are your own savior open the doors wide for self-destruction.

You lead your life constantly awaiting a magical moment, negating the fact that along the way you could actually be doing yourself more harm than help. We give advice to others and we attempt to be their saviors, but there is no way to save someone else. You can try to help someone, but only if that person is open to being helped, and only if they’re willing to change and step up to the plate and be their own salvation. Still, we must place a mirror in front of ourselves and see that in actuality we are no different than those we try so hard to care for, and that we too need caring, love, attention.

Of course everyone would love to be the world’s superhero, but the reality is, you can’t always be. Try to be your own Wonder Woman, and your own Superman. Save yourself.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

The Absolute Worst Beauty Advice on the Internet

The Internet is great. We’re big fans. Thank you, Al Gore! But that doesn’t mean it’s not a black hole of terrible beauty advice that ranges from tediously ineffective to flat-out dangerous. Here, we debunk the craziest tips on the World Wide Web.
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A summer ponytail essential; one do-it-all eye treatment; and fluttery lashes with no 5 o’clock shadow.
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Yes You Can: Timeless Advice from Self-Help Experts

Yes You Can: Timeless Advice from Self-Help Experts


Be thinner, smarter, and sexier "now" with this irresistible collection of ready-to-use tips and tricks from the optimistic golden age of self-improvement, when a better you was never more than three steps, fifteen minutes, or a lie-down on the Magic Couch away. "Yes You Can" is a jaw-dropping, life-changing gallery of material from books, records, advertising, and gadget packaging from the 1920s-1970s–before the modern complex and endless recovery– when you could still "Solve Your Sex Problems with Self-Hypnosis" or "Raise Children in Your Spare Time." Author Jennifer McKnight-Trontz assembles over 200 color and black-and-white illustrations and real charts, tips, and advice. Mind-expanding and waist-reducing, "Yes You Can" is here to help.
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Guest Advice Columnist: Lorde!

Topical Magazine is delighted to have 18-year-old global pop music phenomenon Lorde joining us this week as our guest advice columnist! She’ll be taking your questions in this special edition issue and giving you her take on whatever you need advice on!

~

Dear Lorde,

I started a new job and one of my co-workers is this cute guy who recently graduated from NYU. He’s a total babe! I totally have a thing for him but I don’t want my romantic and professional life to clash, but I like him more and more everyday! My friends say I shouldn’t pursue it, but the more I ignore my crush, the more I like him! What should I do?!

-Allison Greenhalgh, 24, New York City

Allison,

Don’t let your friends be such a Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, you should know I’ve replaced saying “buzz kill” with “Gwyneth Paltrow.” First, you need to find out more about him. Try to inconspicuously cut off a lock of his hair. Then try to inconspicuously get him to pee in a cup. Then inconspicuously show up at a protest he’s attending in Washington Square Park (he went to NYU, let’s be honest). Then inconspicuously corner him at his local bodega and ask him what he thinks about the possibility of you two getting romantically involved. This will determine the possibility of you two getting romantically involved.

Hope this helps!
-Lorde

~

Dear Lorde,

OMG!!! BIG fan here. HUGE fan, actually! I don’t even want to talk about my problem (I’m a 33-year-old nurse practitioner with a crippling addition to the lazy river at water parks). I just want to gush! I love your songs “Team” and “The Love Club.” How can I be just like you?!

-Cameron Lipkin, 33, Atlantic City

Cameron,

Everyone should honor their individuality, but if you want try some things that I sometimes do you can: amalgamate haute couture with fun sportswear. Google “DIY hexes.” Hang out by a creek. Walk into Ann Taylor Loft while burning sage. Make a mosaic of Sylvia Plath’s face out of baby teeth. Dip your hair in blood and whip it back and forth at a Lady Antebellum concert. Draw a pentagram in a highly concentrated area of body glitter on a sorority girl’s shoulder. Google “Is the Blair Witch lonely?” Have a hearty laugh at some popular teens at the mall.

Hope this helps!
-Lorde

~

Dear Lorde,

My friends and I started this new punk band called The Sexual Pen Pals. We were wondering if you’d consider us opening for you if we sent you some of our demos! Also, our question is: how do we combat any sort of creative ruts we may face along the way?

-Brian Dobson, 22, Brooklyn

Brian,

I accept this offer! I accept it with a passion of a thousand burning suns, the enthusiasm of a college freshman at their first extracurricular meeting, and the joy of finding out your favorite 90’s TV show has just been uploaded to Netflix. In regards to creative blocks: go rent a private room at a karaoke bar and scream yourself hoarse.

Hope this helps!
-Lorde

~

Dear Lorde,

My roller derby team, The Varicose Vein Vixens, is throwing our annual benefit BBQ and I feel like every year I’m always the one who is always doing everything. How do I tell my teammates I feel like I’m always picking up everyone’s slack without coming off as a Bitter Betsy?

-Sloan “Frosted Tip$ ” McEwen, 43, Pittsburgh

Sloan,

Smear the darkened, charred part of black forest ham underneath your eyes and take your frustration out on some interns by beating them with brooms. Once you’ve calmed down a bit, calmly express how you’ve been feeling to your teammates. Then go off on a 45 minute diatribe expressing how gross the watery discharge that comes out of a freshly opened bottle of ketchup is because, right?!?!

Hope that helps,
-Lorde

~

Dear Lorde,

I just had a really tough break-up. We have a close mutual friend who has a birthday coming up and my ex going to be there. I’m still heartbroken over him, what should I do when I inevitably bump into him?

-Jamie Richards, 19, Tampa

Jamie

Keep your head held high and when he asks how you’re doing keep repeatedly saying “I’m fine!” while building volume into a scream until he runs away.

Hope this helps!
-Lorde

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3 Questionable Pieces Of Dating Advice From Aziz Ansari’s ‘Modern Romance’

modern romance

Aziz Ansari, known to many as the dapper Tom Haverford on “Parks and Recreation,” and known to still more as a brilliant, subversive comedian, wants you to find love. Yes, you. (Don’t worry about him, he’s already found it and it sounds pretty great.)

His new book, Modern Romance, features a zany cover and the opening line “Oh shit!”, but let there be no confusion: This is not exactly a humor book. Aziz explains in the introduction that he’s never had interest in writing a humor book because he “thought stand-up was the best medium for [him].” Instead, he developed an obsession with the modern dating landscape and decided to write a book about that, collaborating with a sociologist Eric Klinenberg to conduct an enormous amount of research on dating and relationships.

Modern Romance compiles numerous anecdotes from his stand-up, their focus groups, and a subreddit they set up, as well as studies and conversations with prominent psychologists and relationship experts. Want to know all about dating these days, plus occasional, weird Photoshopped graphics? This book has that total package.

Aziz doesn’t position this as an advice book, either, but there’s no avoiding a certain degree of prescriptivism when it comes to analyzing what does and doesn’t work in the dating sphere. He points out that research suggests having lengthy online interactions prior to meeting up isn’t helpful, and can waste your time and emotional energy — that seems to be true, and the underlying message is, well, don’t do that.

With that in mind, my skeptical, dating-averse brain began automatically scanning the book for awful advice. I’m hardly qualified to do so, considering the following: I am in a relationship that predated the rise of Tinder; I used OkCupid for roughly a week at a time at six-month intervals during my single years; I once told three guys I was shutting down my OkCupid account in large part because I couldn’t think of a more tactful way to avoid seeing them again (they were so nice!). And then I actually shut down my OkCupid account so I wouldn’t be a liar. I have never been on more than three dates with anyone but my boyfriend, and I never figured out how to get in on the booty-call game. Out of the two of us, Aziz must be more qualified to give relationship advice.

And yet … some of the dating advice in Modern Romance really does seem a bit questionable. Here are the three most ehhhh bits of romantic guidance he offers to the single reader:

aziz ansari

“Participating in novel and exciting activities increases our attraction to people … If I look back on my dating life, I wonder how much better I (and the other person) would have fared if I had done something exciting rather than just get a stupid drink at a local bar.”

Now, sure, being nervous or excited about something else can make you feel more attracted to the person you’re with; Aziz references a famous study involving a sturdy bridge, a rickety bridge and an attractive woman handing out her phone number to men at the end. The men who just faced near-certain death on the perilous rocks below were significantly more likely to give her a ring. “The Bachelor” also has this figured out, which is why every date involves free-falling off a skyscraper or playing with venomous serpents. Afterward, every woman is convinced she adores the man who free-fell with her. That, or her legs are just shaky with pure terror, but who can tell the difference?

Question: So why do all those “Bachelor” couples break up? Seriously though. If your attraction was just misfiring anxiety neurons, what happens when those neurons chill out? Do you have to spend your entire relationship going hang-gliding? He relays a couple anecdotes in which an exciting, unconventional date made an impression or led to a second, but doesn’t say any of them led to true love. Meanwhile, Aziz looks back regretfully on all those “stupid drink[s] at a local bar,” but his first date with the woman he loves was just plain old dinner. (My first date with my boyfriend, full disclosure, was a stupid drink at a local bar.) I bet Aziz’s first date was as thrilling and heart-pounding as my first date was, because sharing a conversation with the right person can be more than enough. Personally I’m kinda glad I filtered out the other people earlier on instead of tricking myself with adrenaline rushes.

You know, unless it has lasting effects. In which case I’m down to handle snakes with my gentleman friend, For Love. It’s worth noting, however, that these studies typically involve single individuals whose attraction to strangers is being observed or rated. In a 2003 study that examined sexual attraction after a roller-coaster ride (wheee!), single riders showed a notable uptick in their ratings of strangers’ photos after the ride, but coupled riders showed no increase in attraction either to photos or to each other. Whomp whomp.

tinder dating

“So based on these data, the answers are clear: If you are a woman, take a high-angle selfie, with cleavage, while you’re underwater near some buried treasure.”

To be clear, I know Aziz’s tongue is jammed so far up his cheek it’s basically in his ear. That said, he goes into a fair amount of detail about what photos get you more messages on dating sites, suggesting that using the right photos to get more messages is part of being “good” at online dating. For a woman, this means coyly smiling, high-angle selfies, which makes sense, on a basic level. She looks friendly but also a bit mysterious, and the angle tends to be flattering — it emphasizes your eyes and makes your chin seem to taper delicately, creating a more traditionally feminine visual.

Question: But if you’re looking for the right person, not just a person, is attracting higher numbers across the board necessarily the way to go? Women already tend to be flooded with generally distasteful attention on dating sites. Try pre-filtering the shallow dolts by using normal photos, or only using watercolors you’ve painted of your cat, or by mentioning in your profile that you’re a vocal feminist (only if true, of course). In my OkCupid experience, the latter cut down on gross come-ons and allowed me to easily find and meet up with a few really awesome dudes. If I hadn’t gotten tired and quit dating after about six tries, I probably would have met someone perfect!

Men, this may not be as much of a problem for you, but still — do you want all that additional attention from women who wouldn’t notice you if your photo wasn’t quite right? Maybe you do, in which case, take Aziz’s advice. You should really read his book, but here’s a hint: Do not look at the camera.

text message

“All the psychological principles seem to point to waiting being a strategy that works for singles who are trying to build attraction … When you are texting someone less frequently, you are, in effect, creating a scarcity of you and making yourself more attractive.”

Aziz pulls out a lot of psychological research to explain why people ignoring us makes us want them, and he’s not wrong. We spend time thinking about whether they’re actually into us or not. We wish we had more from them, because we can’t easily get a response from them, let alone time with them. Much like a cute dress we see in the window of a boutique, we obsess over it more when we feel like we can’t afford it — once we buy it, it just sits in our closet like all our other crap. Don’t you want potential romantic partners to obsess over you?

Question: But … all things in moderation, right? You don’t want to deluge a suitor with texts, love letters and DMs before the romance has had a chance to naturally ripen, leaving the poor guy or gal wishing they had the opportunity to miss you occasionally. On the other hand, that stomach-churning obsession over whether he hasn’t texted back because he’s really busy at work or because he met a supermodel in the last 12 hours and is already shopping for her engagement ring isn’t exactly healthy, especially once the romance has become established. It’s a sign of insecurity about your relationship.

So, okay, space out your texts so your message convo doesn’t feel like a frenzied textual Ping-Pong match. But don’t start your relationship off with a pattern of psychological antagonism! A 2013 study about the impact of texting on relationships suggested that while texting to express affection increased relationship quality, texting hurtful things or attempting to resolve issues over text decreased it. Moreover, the authors wrote, “even communication instigated through technology connections may help emerging adults feel that their romantic partners are accessible, responsive, and engaged, or vice-versa.”

Sensing this textual availability from one’s partner, they note, makes one more secure in the relationship and therefore more comfortable exploring beyond it. If your girlfriend is always good about texting you back when she can, then the occasional failure to do so may feel less threatening — your security in the relationship will allow you to assume that the delay isn’t malicious and that you’ll be fine until the response comes. So, make the other person feel secure that you’ll respond! Let them make you feel secure! Be vulnerable! Generally just, I don’t know, act like a sane, nonwithholding person.

So I wasn’t sold by every page of the book. Still, even my deeply cynical, introvert’s brain found most of the insights and tips in Modern Romance to be pretty solid. If you, or your highly eligible son or daughter, are navigating the treacherous waters of dating today, you’ll want to know which parts of people’s online dating profiles are helpful and which are simply leading you astray, for example, and this book has got you covered.

Plus, Aziz has a serious girlfriend now, so he must have figured something out.

So as a bonus, I’ll leave you with my favorite piece of non-questionable dating advice from Modern Romance:

“With so many romantic options, instead of trying to explore them all, make sure you properly invest in people and give them a fair chance before moving on to the next one.”

One date almost never gives us a real shot at getting to know a new person well enough to make a decision about a relationship, but if you feel like there’s another option around every corner, you might not want to “waste” time on a second date with someone who didn’t blow you away. Or, if you’re a socially anxious introvert like me, you might not want to “waste” time on a second date with someone when you could, instead, be at home enjoying a glass of wine and a book with your cat. Aziz points out, “A person may seem just okay, but if you really invest time in the relationship, maybe they’ll be greater than you assume.” Familiarity does tend to lead to warm feelings, and a nonstop merry-go-round of new strangers means no familiarity. Ever!

Aziz also remembers a time when he felt scared about committing to a relationship when he wasn’t yet totally head over heels in love — but he made the decision to dive in and give the budding romance its best shot. Dive into your relationships, treat them like a project shared by you and your partner, and you’re bound to get better results than if you sit back and wait for them to impress you. “Modern romance” notwithstanding, it’s true today as it was for our grandparents. Good call, Aziz.

aziz ansari

Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance will be published June 16 by Penguin Press.

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How to Have a Strong Marriage: 21 Pieces of Crowd-Sourced Advice

Twitter was taken over this morning with people around the globe weighing in on ways to make a marriage better, stronger, or more likely to go the distance. There were funny, but heartfelt opinions (like…




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Makeup Advice for Job Interviews

If you are currently in search of a new job, a better job or even your first job, it is only a matter of time before you are called in for an in-person interview. First impressions are key, and like it or not, your initial ‘look’ could have a lot to do with you landing that job.

The goal of this interview should be to demonstrate your competencies, qualifications and attention to detail; however, you should be prepared to look the part. Your appearance is the first thing the interviewer will see and, consciously or subconsciously, snap judgments will be made.

Less is more when it comes to makeup application for your interviews. You never want your makeup to be distracting to the interviewer when you are in the hot seat. You want people to remember you, and not the baby blue eye shadow you chose because you thought it would set you apart from the other applicants.

Below are some tips to use before your next interview:

1) Wear lipstick, not lip gloss. Gloss is shiny and gives off a youthful impression. You will look more sophisticated in a nude or light color lipstick

2) Don’t overload on the foundation, a light base of your liquid, cream or powder foundation should be enough. Use concealer to hide any blemishes

3) Use a layer of blush or bronzer to give your face a healthy glow

4).Skip the liquid liner (even if you are good at it) and opt for a gel or pencil eyeliner

5) Slightly play down your signature looks- For example, if you love a red lip you might want to opt for a red lip stain to tone it down. Or, if an extreme cat eye is your thing, you might want to opt for a chic kitten flick instead

6) Use neutral colors on your lid. Save your bright and bold eye shadows for a night out after you have landed that job

7) Don’t forget the mascara. Mascara will help open your eyes up and make you look awake and alert during your interview

It is important to still look and feel like yourself in your interviews, you don’t want to veer too far away from what you know and are comfortable with. Use makeup as a tool to assist in the interview and not as the main presentation.

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The Single Best Piece Of Marriage Advice Ever Given

Know someone saying ‘I do’ this month? Here’s what to tell them.

First, some numbers: I’ve been married (to the same person) for twenty-seven years. Those twenty-seven years have included six in which we were researching an anthology about marriage. That anthology (The Marriage Book: Centuries of Advice, Inspiration, and Cautionary Tales, from Adam & Eve to Zoloft) is 560 pages long. Those 560 pages include 529 entries that we arrived at after scanning—honestly—tens of thousands of books, poems, newspaper articles, letters, postcards, photographs, and songs.

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15 Essential Pieces Of Marriage Advice From Grandma And Grandpa

There’s a lot to be learned about love and marriage from the people who’ve been at it a long, long time — like grandma and grandpa.

We recently asked HuffPost readers to tell us the most important marriage lesson their grandparents taught them. Read their words of wisdom below.

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Weddings on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Sign up for our newsletter here.

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Trump: The Best Golf Advice I Ever Received

Trump: The Best Golf Advice I Ever Received


The host and coproducer of the megahit reality show The Apprentice presents a unique collection of golf advice. From Palmer and Player, Mickelson and Vijay to Pat Boone, Stone Phillips, and even Yogi Berra, these players, teachers, businesspeople, and celebrities will help you play better and score lower. Everyone who plays golf has that little nugget of information they turn to on the course. But never before has such an array of golfing advice been pulled together in one place. Donald Trump, himself an avid-and very good-golfer, asked his friends, colleagues, and playing companions to offer thoughts on everything from the mental game to the swing to putting to playing golf the right way. And golfers being what they are, none could resist sharing words of wisdom. So here we find Vijay Singh telling us about playing simply: “You don’t need to get your golf swing by going through video cameras and stuff like that. Just kind of go out there and find yourself.” Baseball Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith talks about not overswinging: “Just learn to allow the club to do what it’s supposed to do. because the ball is sitting still.” Actor Michael Douglas has a specific routine to slow his tempo-he says his wife’s name, and doesn’t even think of starting to bring the club down until he gets to “Jones.” Taken together, these more than two hundred entries create a unique handbook, covering every aspect of the game-and ranging from the lighthearted to the deadly serious. Donald Trump’s book of advice is certain to take its place next to Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book as the ultimate in golf instruction. From the Hardcover edition.

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Johnny Depp Gives The Worst Advice Ever In New ‘Black Mass’ Trailer

The new “Black Mass” trailer probably isn’t for young, impressionable kids, but for everyone else it’s a pretty great time.

“If nobody sees it, it didn’t happen,” Johnny Depp tells his young son in trailer number two, which premiered during the NBA playoffs on Friday. It’s terrible advice, not only because it’s a young kid receiving it, but also because it’s not true. (Nobody saw “The Lone Ranger,” but that clearly still happened … wait, didn’t it?)

The good news for Depp is he probably doesn’t have to worry about no one seeing this new flick. The movie follows the actor as mob boss Whitey Bulger and has an all-star cast with big names like Benedict Cumberbatch, Joel Edgerton and Dakota Johnson.

“Black Mass” arrives in theaters September 18.

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Survival: DIY SURVIVAL GUIDE for Beginners: Survival – The Best Strategies and Advice you Need to Know to Store Food and Water in Order to Survive a Disaster!

Dionne Warwick talks Whitney advice

Dionne Warwick says the best advice she ever gave niece Whitney Houston is to just “be who you are”.
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Malin Akerman on Her Mother’s Best Advice, “Bullshit” in Hollywood, and Playing Damian Lewis’ Wife

Once in a while, Hollywood will shock the heck out of us and make a movie that actually doesn't feature a superhero, casts multiple actresses (in leading roles!) over 50, and doesn't rely on gimmicks….




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Jake Owen’s Best Advice for Getting Ahead, Having a Strong Relationship, and Sexy Hair

In the six years since the Academy of Country Music named Jake Owen Top New Male Artist of the Year, the Florida native has released two breakout albums (Barefoot Blue Jean Night, Days of Gold)…




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Pregnancy Style Advice Your Mom Definitely Didn’t Hear, Courtesy of the Blogger Behind Pink Peonies

To me, there’s no greater test of true style than pregnancy. It’s when a woman either digs in and really embraces what she loves to wear or doesn’t, pulling on a whole lot of this-will-hide-the-bump options. Blogger Rach Parcell is the force behind Pink Peonies and is expecting her firstborn sometime soon. She’s also definitely one of those ladies who hasn’t let her new curves confuse her style.

pink-peonies-blogger-pregnant-striped-dress-converse

“I thought I would wear a lot of flowy, loose tops with skinny jeans, but I quickly learned that a form-fitted silhouette that has some stretch to it is by far the most comfortable and flattering,” she told me about her approach to maternity dressing. “I feel the most confident in something that shows off my bump.” She did decide to invest in two pairs of classic maternity jeans and doesn’t regret the purchase, saying she’s planning on getting more mileage out of them with future pregnancies.

pink-peonies-blogger-black-dress-yellow-saint-laurent-bag

Her blog is filled with plenty of amazing outfits, but I’ll admit I was surprised by how many recent times I spotted her rocking heels. I’ve never gone through a pregnancy, so have no personal experience to speak of, but was under the impression that pumps become more uncomfortable (and feet can swell!).

“So many women warned me that my feet would grow one size larger and that I wouldn’t be able to wear heels at all while pregnant, but I haven’t experienced that” she told me. “If anything I like to wear them more now because they elongate my legs and help to balance out the bump.”

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pink-peonies-blogger-pregnant-white-dress-manolo-blahnik

Calling all my mamas out there: How did you dress when pregnant? Did you end up buying a lot of maternity clothes or did you make things you already own work?

Want more pregnancy style? See what blogger Samantha Wennerstrom of Could I Have That? had on her shopping list when expecting.





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Swimsuit Singles: Dating Advice for Men Fitness Advice for Women DVD

Swimsuit Singles: Dating Advice for Men Fitness Advice for Women DVD


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The Fashion File: Advice, Tips, and Inspiration from the Costume Designer of Mad Men

The Fashion File: Advice, Tips, and Inspiration from the Costume Designer of Mad Men


From Joanie’s Marilyn Monroe-esque pencil skirts to Betty’s classic Grace Kelly cupcake dresses, the clothes worn by the characters of the phenomenal “Mad Men” have captivated fans everywhere. Now, women are trading in their khakis for couture and their pumas for pumps. Finally, it’s hip to dress well again. Emmy-Award winning costume designer Janie Bryant offers readers a peek into the dressing room of “Mad Men,” revealing the design process behind the various characters’ looks and showing every woman how to find her own leading lady style-whether it’s vintage, modern, or bohemian. Bryant’s book will peek into the dressing room of Mad Men and reveal the design process behind the various characters’ looks. But it will also help women learn how fashion can help convey their personality. She will help them cultivate their style, including all the details that make a big difference. Bryant offers advice to ensure that a woman’s clothes convey her personality. She covers everything from where to find incredible vintage clothing and accessories to how to pair those authentic pieces with modern shoes and jeans. Readers will learn how to find their perfect bra size, use color to convey a mood, and invest in the ten essentials every woman should own. And just so the ladies don’t leave their men behind, there’s even a section on making them look a little more Don Draper-dashing.

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He Asked 1500+ Elders For Advice On Living And Loving. Here’s What They Told Him.

Karl Pillemer has spent the last several years systematically interviewing hundreds of older Americans to collect their lessons for living.

Pillemer admits he’s an advice junkie. He’s also a Ph.D. gerontologist at Cornell University.

Some years ago, after turning 50, he wondered whether there is something about getting older that teaches you how to live better. “Could we look at the oldest Americans as experts on how to live our lives?” he asked. “And could we tap that wisdom to help us make the most of our lifetimes?”

His first book, “30 Lessons for Living,” synthesized advice from over 1,000 elders on topics like happiness, work, and health.

Now Pillemer has followed up with “30 Lessons for Loving,” which features practical wisdom from over 700 older Americans with 25,000 collective years of marriage experience. One couple he profiles was married for 76 years. Another interviewee describes divorcing her husband, then remarrying him 64 years later.

I spoke with Pillemer for Sophia, a HuffPost project to collect life lessons from accomplished people that was partly inspired by his work.

Pillemer shared seven key pieces of advice he’s heard repeatedly from older Americans — about their greatest regrets, finding fulfillment, and keeping relationships healthy through life’s ups-and-downs.

1. Stop worrying so much.

I asked these oldest Americans what they think people tend to regret at their age, and what they would advise younger people to do to avoid regrets.

I expected big-ticket items — an affair or a shady business deal, something along those lines. I really didn’t expect to hear the one answer that was among the most frequent and certainly among the most passionate and vehement: stop worrying so much.

One of the biggest regrets of the very old was, I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying. They weren’t talking about planning, but the kind of mindless rumination that all of us do over things we have no control.

One of the people who said that summed it up this way. It was a woman who said, “I knew there were going to be layoffs at my job. I did nothing over the coming three months except worry about being laid off. I poisoned my life. I didn’t think about anything else, even though I had no control over it.” And she paused and said, “I wish I had those three months back, because that was just lifetime lost.”

sophia project

I’m sort of a chronic Woody Allen-esque worrier. Hearing hundreds and hundreds of older people saying that when you get to our age, you’ll see time spent needlessly worrying as time wasted, it really had a profound effect on me.

People have asked me, “What do you do with that insight? How do we stop worrying?” For me, when I start to get into the mindless rumination, I will remind myself that it’s an almost absolute certainty that everybody, when they get to the end of life, will say to themselves, “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about something that wasn’t going to happen.” After doing this for so long, I kind of have this feeling of a thousand grandparents in a room yelling at me [laughs].

A related insight of older people comes through very strongly in their advice about marriage. Very often a lot of their advice revolves around lightening up. We allow things, like marriage or other domains of life, to become extremely grim.

Their viewpoint from later on — this may sound like a cliché, but they mean it — is most of the things they worried about didn’t happen, and the bad things that happened to them were things they hadn’t considered.

sophia project

2. In relationships, sweat the small stuff.

If I learned one thing about how to keep the spark alive over many decades, there’s a point that the elders make that aligns very closely with research. It is an emphasis on thinking small — the small, minute-to-minute, day-to-day interactions that make up a relationship.

We tend to think of relationships globally. But all relationships are made up of hundreds or thousands of daily micro-interactions where you have the opportunity to be positive and supportive to your partner, or to be dismissive and uninterested.

There’s been research showing, for example, that how you respond if your partner interrupts you while you’re doing something is very diagnostic of how good the relationship’s going to be. If you’re actively involved in reading the paper or doing something, and your partner wants to show you something of interest to him or her, whether you respond dismissively or you briefly stop what you’re doing and engage with your partner is very diagnostic of positivity in the relationship.

sophia project

Other research has shown that it takes around 10 positive interactions to make up for one nasty one, so the ratio of positive to negative small interactions in a relationship is really critical. And that’s exactly what older people say. Many of their lessons embody this same concept.

For example, one of the things that older people argue is that we ought to be polite in our relationships. You know, the old things that people learned in elementary school, to say please and thank you and observe normal civility, is something people forget to do all the time in their relationships, mostly because we feel comfortable.

They argue using politeness and tact, but also making a habit of positive things, of compliments, of small surprises, of doing a partner’s chore, if you have a fairly rigid division of labor. Many people described that. I had more than one woman — perhaps it’s quote from someone else — but they jokingly said that their husband doing the dishes was the best aphrodisiac they could think of. So I would say that for a good relationship that lasts a long time, one of the absolute keys is attending to being positive, cheerful, supportive in the small aspects of the relationship.

sophia project

Another thing which is closely related: many couples begin to develop divergent interests and one partner then becomes hostile to a passionate interest. I had many older people say, “Our relationship changed when I gave my partner’s interests a chance and embraced them.”

One guy in his mid-80s, he was astonished. He said, “I started going to opera and ballet. Me! Opera and ballet! But it was worth it to engage with my partner.” Or wives who took up golf or developed an interest in football. At some point, people begin to say that positivity in the relationship is more important than fighting over these kinds of like minor differences.

People who have very positive relationships consciously tend to maximize these small positive interactions. And that is a place where elder wisdom completely or very closely aligns with what we know from research about good marriages.

3. Don’t sacrifice your relationship for your children.

There’s a very strong research finding in family social science. It is called the U-shaped curve of marital happiness. Basically, marriages start out pretty happy. Marital happiness drops precipitously at the birth of the first child and usually never completely recovers until the last child has left the house.

So even though kids are great — they satisfy our existential longings, and we love them, and it’s one of the most profound experiences — they are stressful for marriages. You probably don’t need a social scientist to tell you that, because anybody who’s been through it knows that.

There’s no question that a lot of marital arguments and difficulties revolve around children. It’s one of the paradoxes of marriage that good things, like having kids or having a really good job, even owning and taking care of a house, also can be sources of marital stress. It’s the double-edged sword of marriage.

The elders had one really strong recommendation in terms of adjusting to kids. Put your marriage first, put your relationship first, and don’t let kids distract you from having a good relationship with your partner.

Couples lose themselves in the mix of kids and work and fundamentally abandon attention to their relationship. The advice of the oldest Americans is very similar to that famous instruction on airplanes — put your own oxygen mask on first and then put it on the kids. If you aren’t attending to your relationship, you aren’t going to be very effective as child-rearers.

It’s very unusual that people have an awful relationship and wind up being good parents. If you sacrifice your relationship for your children, you have a reasonable chance of losing both.

sophia project

Now, they aren’t saying, of course, that you don’t love your kids and that you wouldn’t hurl yourself in front of a train to save them. But they argue that a marital relationship needs constant attention in spite of the kids.

I was shocked, in focus groups I did in preparation for the book, how many young parents couldn’t even remember when they’d gone out on their own or spent much individual time together. The oldest Americans’ argument is: Carve it out. Impose on grandparents. Develop a babysitting exchange. Even if you don’t have any money.

I had people who grew up in the Depression. One couple said, “We returned our disposable soda bottles and went to McDonald’s. It was just an opportunity to be away.”

Even if it’s something as artificial as a weekly date night where you scrimp and arrange for babysitting and go off on your own, you simply must do it. If you lose yourself in this middle-aged blur of work and kids, you really won’t do your kids any good.

sophia project

4. People who share core values typically have better marriages.

One hallmark of these long and harmonious marriages — and this is a piece of advice, too, that older people explicitly give — is to marry someone a lot like you.

We have in our popular culture this vast amount of examples of where opposites attract and make for great relationships, from “Romeo and Juliet” through “The Little Mermaid” through “Pretty Woman” and on and on.

Both the elders and research say, not so much. Marrying somebody who is very similar to you — in the trade, we call it homophily. Homophilous marriages, where the partners are pretty similar across a range of domains, tend to last longer and be happier.

What seems to really make the difference are core shared values. For example, work and the importance of work, the number of children and the way children are to be raised and goals for children, how important money is, spiritual and religious values to some extent. If there’s core value similarity, that seems to really make for these longer and happier marriages.

There’s no magic bullet. But marrying someone who’s fundamentally similar to you, especially in outlook, worldview, and values, really does seem to make a difference. It makes everything else much easier.

You might ask, in our complex multicultural society, is that really a good thing to recommend? What they would say is, you can have differences. Sometimes differences do spice up a relationship. But if you have two people who are, for example, strongly committed to two different religious traditions, you’ve got to be aware that you’re going to have to work around that in your relationship. If you have other kinds of strong value differences, it’s important to be aware of those and deal with them.

sophia project

5. Communicate early, communicate often.

I’ve spent a lot of time interviewing young people. Of course, I’m speaking anecdotally. I know a lot of them as a college professor. One thing I’ve learned is that even in long dating relationships, it’s actually relatively unusual that they have a deep discussion about child-rearing values or even having children.

I think that’s a problem. I think the elders would say it’s a problem. Understanding how your values align is very important early on.

This is related, and it may seem obvious, but virtually all of the elders in long marriages say the key to their success was learning how to communicate effectively on important issues.

People who were divorced very typically attribute it to a communication breakdown. I had several couples in the study who had gotten divorced and then remarried. One couple was actually remarried almost a half century after they were first divorced and began to have a very positive relationship. Almost always that was attributed to learning how to open up, to have open and successful communication and to really talk to one another.

6. Approach marriage as a discipline.

The unspoken, unquestioned, and underlying assumption, especially of people 75 and older, was that marriage would last forever.

They viewed marriage as an unbreakable bond; they simply had to work within those parameters. That means, for example, you live through rough patches and don’t just try to get out of the relationship. You come to accommodations and acceptances of the other person. You see this unit as something that is bigger than two people and their immediate individual satisfaction.

When they got married, they were making a commitment to the concept of marriage as a worthwhile institution, rather than the partnership based on immediate satisfaction of the individuals involved.

I got from them the idea of marriage as a discipline — not a punishment kind of discipline but the way it’s used if you’re learning music or a martial art. Marriage is a lifelong path, one that you never perfect and that you continually work to get better at. You’re continually working to improve communication and overcome problems and establish more interest.

This worldview — that once you were in marriage, you were in it for good — shaped people’s day-to-day experience and view of it. It’s one of the things which those who do articulate it recommend to younger people. They say, even if the reality is that you may not stay married, you ought to have this attitude, because it will make you work harder to get through difficult times. And there are such benefits to doing that that you ought to do it.

sophia project

7. Take time to craft the story of your life.

There’s been considerable research on the importance of reminiscence, life review. Most old people would like to be able to see their lives as a meaningful whole, to be able to sum it up into a coherent narrative.

I don’t want to wax too poetic, but I have really been struck by something which the famous psychologist Erik Erikson said. At some point you realize that you’re given this one chance — he words it this way — ‘this one chance in all of eternity to enact an identity and to play it out in the real world.’

Towards the end of life, what’s really important to people is to be able to see how their life mattered, how it was meaningful, how there was a story to it that wraps up in a good way.

People who are able to create that kind of narrative, and think of their life in that way, are typically happier. They’re more generative. They’re much more serene and open to the end of life. So that is really good work for people to do. Writing about it is something that a number of my interviewees did. Often my best interviewees were people who had done some writing of memoirs.

There is a concept which some of them also did, it’s called the “ethical will,” where people will write down what they would like to leave to younger generations about their values and principles and morality, how someone should live a life.

sophia project

It’s so critical for older people to record their memories. I would go one step further. Stop me if — actually, I’m going to go ahead and say it. We’re in the midst right now in our society of a very dangerous experiment. That’s one where young people, outside of intermittent contacts in their own family, have no meaningful contact with older people in any other dimension of their lives.

Whereas old people were often much more integrated and were sought out as sources of wisdom and advice and life experience, now they really aren’t, because our society is so age-segregated.

I think that we place young people in peril without these kind of intergenerational contacts. This is something that’s so natural for the human race. It’s really only been about the last hundred years that people have gone to anyone other than the oldest person they knew for advice about something, say like marriage or child-rearing.

Even though it sounds artificial, it’s important for older people to record their own thoughts and memories, but it’s really critical for younger people to ask them for them, and not just for stories, but for guidance and practical advice for living. I’m not against professional help. I think it’s great. But sometimes people might go and ask the elders in their lives for advice on finding a meaningful career or improving a relationship first.

So I think that it’s both older people doing it themselves, nurturing these memories and reflecting on their lives, but it’s also our role as younger people to help them to do it, to express interest in it and be a part of their reminiscing and summing up their life into a meaningful story. That’s what we really risk losing now. It’s a large reason for these projects, I have to say, and why I’m writing these books.

Transcription services by Tigerfish; now offering transcripts in two-hours guaranteed. Interview has been edited and condensed.

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Sophia is a project to collect life lessons from fascinating people. Learn more or sign up to receive lessons for living directly via Facebook or our email newsletter.
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The Love Advice That Shocked Expert Karl Pillemer

SPECIAL FROM Next Avenue

By Suzanne Gerber

You’d think that nothing could shock Karl Pillemer, when it comes to the lives of older folks. After all, the distinguished gerontologist, family sociologist, Cornell University professor and leading researcher on aging (he runs the Cornell Legacy Project) wrote the 2011 bestseller 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice for the Wisest Americans.

And yet, he says, “I was surprised at how important sex is to a couple’s relationship even into their 80s and 90s. I shouldn’t have been, but I was also hit over the head by how open and willing older people are to talk about sexuality with an interviewer.”

Pillemer is referring to the thousands of hours of interviews he and his team conducted for his latest book, 30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationship, and Marriage. Over the course of two years, they talked with some 700 folks whose marriages lasted an average of 43 years and came away with valuable lessons for everyone — including himself.

View From the Finish Line

Published this month, “30 Lessons for Loving” picks up where the first book left off, but instead of offering advice on a host of topics, this one, as the title suggests, focuses on love and marriage. Pillemer chose that subject partly in a leap of faith and partly because of the strong feedback he was receiving from readers.

The leap of faith was the result of the research he kept encountering. “Study after study showed that people in their 70s, 80s and beyond were actually happier than younger people,” he says.

And the data shows that successful relationships are very important to the next generations, leading Pillemer to conclude that “marriage is here to stay. Nearly 100 percent of young people plan to get married and think it’s a good thing. I know they’re receptive to hearing advice from people who made it 50 years because they’ve got credibility.”

Readers were also writing to him asking for more material on love and marriage. One woman told Pillemer she gave a copy of the first book to her son when he got engaged and at the wedding the couple had a “Lessons for Living” station, where guests were invited to leave comments. Dozens of other readers told Pillemer they gave their children copies and bookmarked the lesson, “Don’t Rush Into Marriage,” as a not-so-subtle hint. Thus, 30 Lessons for Loving was born.

A Dangerous Experiment

According to Pillemer, this is the first time in history that young people have little to no contact with older people except maybe a grandparent. “New data shows that less than one-third of people over 65 have had meaningful conversations with people under 30 in the previous month,” he says. “Take out family, and it’s less than 5 percent. People are more likely to have friends of another race than friends more or less than 10 years apart.”

Not only is this shocking to Pillemer, it’s deeply disheartening. “I think we’re in the midst of a dangerous experiment,” he says. “This is the most age-segregated society that’s ever been. Vast numbers of younger people are likely to live into their 90s without contact with older people. As a result, young people’s view of aging is highly unrealistic and absurd. “

So now, Pillemer says, “I’m focusing on older people’s wisdom and helping creating positive new images. That’s one of the reasons for this book.”

Love and Marriage

Lessons for Loving is divided into five sections — Lessons for Finding a Mate, Communication and Conflict, Getting Over the Hard Parts, Keeping the Spark Alive and Thinking Like an Expert About Love. Each of these is further broken down into six lessons, such as “Give Up Grudges” and “Accept Your Partner As Is.”

The book reads like a candid and entertaining advice column, which is precisely what Pillemer intended. “As an academic I had to learn to write in a whole new genre that I felt younger people could use,” he says. He succeeded. The book is eminently readable.

The “experts” — the author’s solution to the dilemma of what to call folks in this age range — had surprising and enlightening things to say.

Pillemer recently got to put one such gem of wisdom, from a 71-year-old interviewee named April, to good use. When he and his wife were having what he calls persistent and irreconcilable differences about a bathroom renovation, he recalled the woman’s words: “It’s important to let some things go, to figure out what matters and what really doesn’t matter. If [my husband and I] were in some sort of struggle, we would stop and say, “Which one of us is this more important to?” And when we could figure that out, the other one found it so much easier to let go.”

In describing his bathroom drama, he says, “My wife wanted a claw-foot tub, and I wanted a stall shower. The disagreements went on and on until I recalled April’s advice and realized how important the tub was to my wife. So I let her have it. It might sound small, but it was huge to us.”

The best thing about researching and writing this book, Pillemer adds, was the long view it’s afforded him. “It never hit me before, but marriage is really a discipline, where you agree to forgo something for long-term success.”

His other big takeaway: “I have a renewed sense of hopefulness that we can keep things vibrant and exciting.”

Now, that’s exciting.

Read more from Next Avenue:
Surviving and thriving after a layoff
It’s not too late to fight the flu
6 key money matters after you divorce
Weddings – The Huffington Post
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You #AskKat: What’s the Best Piece of Advice Your Mom Ever Gave You?

Mother knows best. It’s a phrase you may have rolled your eyes at as a teenager, but chances are, as you’ve grown older you’ve realized that yes, mom was right. (And somewhere, a mother’s heart swells with pride.) RELATED: You #AskKat for Gift Ideas That Give Back Now while most of our mothers aren’t in the […]
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The Advice Arianna Huffington Would Give Her Younger Self | Super Soul Sunday | OWN

Tune in Sundays 11am/10c

She’s an entrepreneur, media mogul and bestselling author, but the advice Arianna Huffington would give her younger self may be surprising to some. Find out what it is. Plus, what singer/songwriter Alanis Morissette and Special Olympics chairman Tim Shriver wish they knew years ago.

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“Super Soul Sunday” is a two-time Emmy award-winning series that delivers a thought-provoking, eye-opening and inspiring block of programming designed to help viewers awaken to their best selves and discover a deeper connection to the world around them. The series features exclusive interviews and all-new conversations between Oprah Winfrey and top thinkers, authors, filmmakers and spiritual leaders. Exploring themes and issues including happiness, personal fulfillment, wellness, spirituality and conscious living. “Super Soul Sunday” presents an array of perspectives on what it means to be alive in today’s world.

Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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The Knot Complete Guide to Weddings in the Real World: The Ultimate Source of Ideas, Advice, and Relief for the Bride and Groom and Those Who Love Them.

The Knot Complete Guide to Weddings in the Real World: The Ultimate Source of Ideas, Advice, and Relief for the Bride and Groom and Those Who Love Them.


New – Planning for the big day? Here are the most up-to-date answers to all of your questions in the book from the editors of the acclaimed wedding website, The Knot. Overwhelmed by the countless questions and details your wedding entails? Don’t despair! “The Knot Complete Guide to Weddings in the Real World “takes you step-by-step from your engagement to the big day, from the reception to the honeymoon. Inside you’ll find checklists, worksheets, insider advice, and in-depth sections on: How to

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Mark Nepo’s Advice For Staying Focused Today | #OWNSHOW | Oprah Winfrey Network

Mark Nepo, one of Oprah’s Life Trailblazers, shares why having cancer as a young man allowed him to slow down and find a quiet mental space. Watch as he gives his advice for using technology as a tool and being able to stay focused in our fast-paced world.
Join Oprah, Iyanla Vanzant and other “”life trailblazers”” on Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend this fall. Register now to discover your calling, then summon the courage to live it. http://www.oprah.com/app/oprahs-tour.html

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#OWNSHOW is a digital exclusive web-show on Oprah.com. Packaged into stackable moments, the show brings together stories, life-tips, and personalities from Oprah.com, OWN, and O Magazine with interactive elements from YOU, the community. www.oprah.com/ownshow

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

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Laverne Cox, Lupita Nyong’o And More Talk The Best Style Advice They’ve Ever Received

Each year, Glamour’s Women Of The Year Awards honor a slew of truly inspiring women and their efforts to make the world a better place. This year’s top-notch guest list boasted the likes of Lupita Nyong’o, Laverne Cox and Chelsea Clinton, not to mention our own Editor-In-Chief, Arianna Huffington, alongside Karlie Kloss and Shonda Rhimes (just to name a few).

And while the crowds came out in droves to honor these amazing women and what they are currently working on, we here at HuffPost Style had some questions about what they learned before hitting the red carpet. Namely, the best style or beauty advice they have ever received.

And while we sadly didn’t get a chance to ask presenter Stephen Colbert to share his beauty regimen, we did learn a thing or two about heels, eyebrows and of course, moisturizer. Check out some of our favorite quotes below.

laverne
“Dress for your body. Know yourself. Honor your body and celebrate who you are.” –Laverne Cox

lupita
“Don’t wear heels you can’t walk in!” –Lupita Nyong’o

arianna
“Do not wear high heels! Kitten heels are OK, but never more than kitten. If we have any editor [at the Huffington Post] that is a size 9.5 or 10, they can have all my high heels. I’m going to put them all in the kitchen.” –Arianna Huffington

karlie
“My mom always gave me great style and beauty advice. She said to be confident in what you’re wearing, no matter what it is. Just own it.” –Karlie Kloss

natalia
“My grandmother forced me not to touch my eyebrows. I have always touched them very little, and I think it worked out!” –Natalia Vodianova

haim
“Always wash your face at night… don’t be lazy! Even on those nights you want to crawl into bed, just crawl into the bathroom, slowly wash your face and then crawl right back into bed.” –Alana Haim

“Always moisturize. Always.” –Este Haim

Style – The Huffington Post
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The Advice Elizabeth Gilbert Would Give Her Younger Self | Super Soul Sunday | OWN

Tune in Sunday, October 12, at 11 a.m. ET/PT. You can also join our worldwide simulcast at Oprah.com/supersoulsunday or Facebook.com/supersoulsunday.

What advice would author Elizabeth Gilbert give her younger self? Her answer may surprise you. “There is absolutely no advice that I could have given my younger self that I would have listened to,” she says.

Still, Elizabeth says there is one thing she would say. “I would have said, ‘Avoid romantic entanglements in your youth and focus on yourself.'” In the video above, watch as Elizabeth explains why she would have been a completely different person had she listened to that advice in her younger years.

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“Super Soul Sunday” is a two-time Emmy award-winning series that delivers a thought-provoking, eye-opening and inspiring block of programming designed to help viewers awaken to their best selves and discover a deeper connection to the world around them. The series features exclusive interviews and all-new conversations between Oprah Winfrey and top thinkers, authors, filmmakers and spiritual leaders. Exploring themes and issues including happiness, personal fulfillment, wellness, spirituality and conscious living. “Super Soul Sunday” presents an array of perspectives on what it means to be alive in today’s world.

About OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey’s heart and creative instincts inform the brand — and the magnetism of the channel.

Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.

Discover OWN TV:
Find OWN on your TV!: http://bit.ly/1wJ0ugI
Our Fantastic Lineup: http://bit.ly/1qMi2jE

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The Complete Practical Encyclopedia of Running, Cycling & Fitness Training: Step by Step Instructions, Training Plans, Nutritional Information and Expert Advice, All Shown in More Than 1,350 Fantastic Photographs and Illustrations

The Complete Practical Encyclopedia of Running, Cycling & Fitness Training: Step by Step Instructions, Training Plans, Nutritional Information and Expert Advice, All Shown in More Than 1,350 Fantastic Photographs and Illustrations


Used – This is the ultimate practical reference for running, cycling and fitness training, covering everything from basic skills, essential clothing and equipment to training schedules, nutrition plans and international events. Step-by-step instructions and over 1,350 specially commissioned photographs and illustrations show how to train in each discipline safely efficiently and for optimum results. It explains how to get involved in races and competitions; how to prepare beforehand, what to do

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3 Pieces Of Marriage Advice From ‘Marry Me’s’ Casey Wilson And David Caspe

Actress Casey Wilson and her writer-producer husband David Caspe don’t adhere to any kind of “no romance in the workplace” policy. The pair first met in 2010 when Wilson auditioned for (and landed) a role on Caspe’s sitcom “Happy Endings.”

The lovebirds tied the knot in Ojai, California in May 2014. Now they’re working together once again on the new comedy “Marry Me” — created and produced by Caspe and starring Wilson — which is loosely based on their relationship.

In an interview with Glamour, the couple shared some of their best marriage advice so far (like avoid hanger at all costs).

“My dad always said that 90 percent of marital problems could be solved by getting your blood sugar up, and he’s right!” Wilson told Glamour. “So I would say pick a partner who’s forgiving when you have low blood sugar and threaten to drive your car through your shared home.”

Even though they’ve been together for years, it’s clear that Wilson and Caspe are still figuring each other out.

“David’s a doer—he wants to give advice or fix things,” she said. “My girlfriends [let me] turn over every emotional detail for hours. I see them at least twice a week.”

“I’ve had to realize that if she shares a problem, I’m not supposed to fix it,” Caspe added.

And the cutest takeaway from Caspe? If you pick the right person, you can have a BFF and a romantic partner in one super awesome package.

“As a kid, you weirdly picture a girlfriend as separate than a friend,” he said. “But being with Casey, I realized a wife is the ultimate friend, and you also get to make sweet, sweet love together.”

Head over to Glamour to read the rest of the adorable interview.

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Pocket Mom Everyday Wisdom, Practical Tips, and Down-home Advice

Pocket Mom Everyday Wisdom, Practical Tips, and Down-home Advice


For anyone who’s ever wondered where she is when you need her most, Pocket Mom comes to the rescue. This book is a collection of the essential practical wisdom of Mom, from cooking, housekeeping, safety, and hygiene tips, to advice on life, love, and getting along. You’ll learn how to cook perfect rice, iron a shirt, load a dishwasher, pack a lunch, cook comfort food, install shelf paper, prevent mold and mildew, sort your laundry, change the vacuum cleaner bag, fight germs, dress for a first date, recognise true love when you see it, and much more. When it comes to living in the real world, Mum really does know best!

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10-Year-Old’s Marriage Advice Is So Spot On, You’ll Wish You Came Up With It

When it comes to marriage advice, it seems like everyone and their mom has something to offer up.

Well forget ’em!

We finally have all the marriage advice we’ll ever need, thanks to one very wise 10-year-old named Ethan who took it upon himself to write out (and laminate) key pieces of advice for his soon-to-be-wed teacher.

Marriage advice from a 5th grader

The note was posted to Reddit earlier this week, titled “My friend who is a teacher was married over the weekend to a cop. This is one of her students marriage advice.

All we know is penguins should definitely be on everyone’s registry from now on. Look how fun they are!

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Style Advice From Today’s Hottest Latin Teens- The Trend with Victoria Recaño on Zappos

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This episode of The Trend on Zappos shows how to dress like the hottest Latin stars in Hollywood. We are behind the scenes for the cover-shoot of the next Para Todos magazine with teen idol Bella Thorne, Soap star Gina Rodriguez, Devious Maids’ Edy Ganem, The Fosters’ Cierra Ramirez, and Vampire Diaries Michael Trevino. See looks from 7 For all Mankind, Splendid, and more!

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An Important Reminder To Not Take Relationship Advice From Your Cat

Cats are great at squeezing into impossibly small spaces, making death-defying jumps, and showing your pet dog who’s boss whenever they get the chance.

They’re not that great at giving relationship cues. Unfortunately, one woman who recently wrote into a vet’s advice column in The Sonoma Valley Sun was not aware of that.

Reader “Picking Up Kitty’s Cues” wrote to Dr. Vallard C. Forsythe and said that she was convinced her husband was cheating on her based on the peculiar behavior of their cat, Muffin Top.

Apparently, while her husband Bill has been clocking in extra hours at work, Muffin Top’s been busy peeing on Bill’s side of the bed — and twice on his laundry. A coincidence? Kitty Cues thinks not.

“My theory is that Muffin Top knows that my husband is lying to me about something and is punishing him,” she writes. “Whey else would it only be HIS cat acting weird and peeing on HIS side of the bed?”

Smartly, Dr. Forsythe does’t venture into the human drama (“I wouldn’t even try to pontificate the answer to that one for all the gold in Fort Knox or backstage passes to an Usher concert.”) But he does offer some sage advice on ol’ Muffin Top’s health — and reminds his readers that our cats are not Iyanla from “Iyanla: Fix My Life”.

“While it is true that animals can often sense things before humans can, it sounds to me like you need to face your marital situation head on rather than let Muffin Top and Cupcake sell you a load of baked goods. Cats are very sensitive to change in the house and when tensions run high, their behavior can change. This can often show up in aberrant urination or defecation. Don’t forget it could also be that one cat has a bladder infection causing him to urinate on the unoccupied side of the bed.”

In other words, sometimes a cat peeing all over your bed is just a cat peeing all over your bed.

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Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Dear Kitten: Advice From An Older Cat Voiced By Ze Frank (VIDEO)

Yes, it’s basically a big ad for Friskies cat food, but this video is so well done that it’s almost hard to believe you’re watching a commercial (until the actual sales pitch, anyway).

In this vid, which the cat food company did with Buzzfeed, a sage old feline gives advice to a new kitten.

“Dear Kitten: Since I have hissed at you the customary 437 times, it is now my duty as the head of the household to — begrudgingly — welcome you,” says the older cat, voiced by Buzzfeed’s Ze Frank.

What happens next? Watch the video. If all ads were this good, maybe we wouldn’t fast-forward through them.

Maybe.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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My Mother’s Best Advice: 7 Ways to Create a Happy, Healthy Life

My mother shaped the woman I would become, the family I would create and the business I would build. She taught me to find my passion; ask “Why not?”; make mistakes; and nurture the mind-body-spirit connection. In this month that celebrates motherhood, I’d like to share some of my mother’s best advice.

Find your passion:
My mother introduced me to dance at the age of 2. I was pigeon-toed and the doctor prescribed dance classes along with corrective shoes. I discovered very early that dance was my passion and would become my life’s work. My mother recognized my talent and devoted herself to nurturing it. She took me to weekly classes in our very small town of Red Oak, Iowa. She also drove me 100 miles roundtrip two times each week to a professional dance studio in Omaha, Nebraska. Without her I may never have realized my passion for dance and the role it would play in my life.

Don’t accept limitations:
My mother earned an associate’s degree in business with a concentration in accounting, something uncommon for a woman in the 1930s. She was liberated before her time. When our town’s only dance teacher moved away my mother went to Omaha and recruited another teacher to take her place. She set up a business for her by finding a place for her to teach, doing her accounting, producing recitals, sewing costumes, and doing local marketing to bring in students.

When I was 11, I started my own dance studio in our remodeled basement. My mother once again went to work, this time helping her daughter set up and manage the business. Within three months I had 100 students. Though we didn’t realize it at the time, she had given me the business model that I would use to build Jazzercise.

Believe you can:
When I graduated from college and decided to start my own dance fitness business in Chicago it felt like second nature. I had watched my mother do it. I knew the model worked. I knew I could develop a program that would help women achieve their fitness goals, build their own businesses, support one another, and feel good doing it. She taught me to be an entrepreneur.

Let “Why not?” be your mantra:
I watched my mother tackle problems and create solutions on the fly. To give her daughter the opportunity to dance my mother inadvertently became an entrepreneur. She didn’t have a “plan” and didn’t let that stop her. She didn’t indulge in self doubt. She just kept moving forward. She believed in herself and she believed in me. That confidence took root. It gave me faith in myself and others.

Encourage accountability:
My mother never pushed me to dance. She told me explicitly that if it wasn’t what I wanted to do then I could stop and do something else. Knowing I had the freedom to take a different path made it easier to keep going. But she made sure I practiced, and she even practiced with me. She believed in the importance of working hard to refine talent rather than relying on it.

Make mistakes:
My mother showed me the importance of giving children the space to make their own choices — good and bad. When I tested her, there were consequences, but she let me be in charge of my decisions. It’s difficult to see your child fail, get hurt or make mistakes, but that’s usually how they learn to be their best selves. Protecting them from consequences takes away their ability to handle adversity as well as their dignity.

Connect the mind, body and spirit:
This is one of my mother’s best lessons. Nurture your mind through education, working and surrounding yourself with people who challenge you in a positive way. Feed your spirit with meditation, spontaneity, doing what you love, being of service, and giving to others. Take care of your body with exercise, healthy eating and sleep. Strengthen your body so it can maintain the connection.

My mother, June Nelson Sheppard, taught me that as a person, a parent and a businesswoman all you can do is your best. And if you do it right, it can be fun! I’m proud to pass on my mother’s legacy to my daughter, son and granddaughters, and now to you. Let’s take a moment to honor mothers in all their many forms. I wish your family a very happy Mother’s Day!

Did your mother give you great advice? Share with us by leaving a comment.

Judi Sheppard Missett, who turned her love of jazz dance into a worldwide dance exercise phenomenon, founded the Jazzercise dance fitness program in 1969. The workout program, which offers a fusion of jazz dance, resistance training, Pilates, yoga, and cardio box movements, has positively affected millions of people worldwide. The international franchise business hosts a network of 7,800 instructors teaching more than 32,000 classes weekly in 32 countries. For more information, visit jazzercise.com.

GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

The Parent Soup Baby Name Finder: Real Advice from Real Parents Who Have Named Their Babies and Lived to Tell about It…

The Parent Soup Baby Name Finder: Real Advice from Real Parents Who Have Named Their Babies and Lived to Tell about It…


When you need advice from other parents who have named their babies and lived to tell the tale Your husband wants a junior. Your mother keeps hinting at an archaic family name. Your best friend is pushing the name Jeremiah. And you haven’t even started thinking about what will happen if the baby is a girl Take a deep breath because help is at hand. Parent Soup–the ultimate on-line destination for parents–has collected more than 15,000 names from its popular "Baby Name Finder" and the best advice from real parents who have already played the name game. Read this book and get insight on everything you need to know when choosing a name, such as:

  • How to deal with flak from family and friends You’ll learn how to answer the question, "You’re going to name the baby what? "
  • Surefire ways to end the spouse wars Yes, there is hope when you say John and he says Gianni (and you’re wondering if you really want to have a child with this person).
  • How to know when you’ve found a keeper Learn to recognize when it’s time to put away the books and start getting used to the name you’ll be saying at least 37 times a day from now on.

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7 Hilarious Pieces Of Vintage Dating Advice

Dating is the worst. As if it isn’t bad enough worrying about getting food particles stuck in your teeth, awkward silences, or having to eat something that just can’t be eaten gracefully, you also have to worry about proper pre and post-date etiquette.

Luckily, dating has gotten a little easier nowadays — or at least more convenient. We can let our technology do most of the dirty work. You send an email to see if your date is free Friday night. A quick follow up text after a great first date (no more three-day rule). A Facebook message to ask for a second date.

Unfortunately for earlier generations, they just didn’t have all these tools at their disposal. We think we have it hard, but dating the old-fashioned way was even worse. Luckily, they had something we don’t see very often today: self-help guides.

We’ve rounded up some of the most laughable dating advice from decades past for your viewing pleasure. Now be thankful you’re living in a digital world.

There were entire books written on the matter.

Maybe this was the original, “Why Men Love Bitches”

Kissing on the first date was a matter of serious deliberation…

Know what to lookout for boys…Ladies, whatever you do, don’t be alluring

Have plenty to talk about…

Make sure she doesn’t have daddy issues…

And don’t forget gals, once you catch him, you’ve got to keep him too

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Living in Style: Inspiration and Advice for Effortless Chic

Living in Style: Inspiration and Advice for Effortless Chic


The designer, stylist, executive producer and star of Bravo’s “The Rachel Zoe Project,” and New York Times “bestselling author is back with a new book for her fans. An unparalleled fixture in the fashion world, Rachel Zoe is distinguished and renowned for her effortless take on glamour. Her illustrious career has flourished as she has continually proven herself to be an integral part in shaping the image of Hollywood’s A-list. Rachel’s ever-growing audience loves to watch her every move so they can incorporate just a little bit of her unique sophistication into their own lives. Now, Rachel tells readers exactly how to do just that. From beauty and home design to traditions, entertaining, travel, and, of course, fashion, Rachel gives readers insight on every aspect of life”style. As she looks to her own past and where she has drawn inspiration over the course of her career-and her life-readers will learn how to feel amazing, too. Filled with never-before-seen photos from Rachel’s personal collection and tips from colleagues, celebrities, family members, and more, this book is like none other.

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Knight Life with Gladys: Advice for Brandy – Oprah Winfrey Network

Watch the first five minutes now, then, tune in for the premiere of Knight Life with Gladys on Saturday, December 28 at 10/9c.
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After playing tennis, recording artist Brandy asks Gladys for advice on juggling work and her personal life. Gladys stresses the importance of family time and balance—advice that Gladys needs to take herself!

To learn more about Knight Life with Gladys, click here:
http://www.oprah.com/own/Knight-Life-with-Gladys-About-the-Show

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101 Tips for the Smart Stepmom: Expert Advice from One Stepmom to Another

101 Tips for the Smart Stepmom: Expert Advice from One Stepmom to Another


Proven Advice from a Successful Stepmom Today’s woman who finds herself dating, engaged, or married to a man with kids often feels alone, misunderstood, and weary. In this down-to-earth book, Laura Petherbridge offers real answers from someone who’s walked in her shoes–and now has good relationships with her grown stepchildren. This topically arranged resource includes tips on parenting, coping with the children’s mom, finances, and celebrating special occasions. The reader will learn how to better understand her blended family, navigate the drama, and gain the respect of her stepkids. The bite-sized tips are perfect for the busy stepmom, offering solutions she can immediately implement–and see change begin.

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You’re So Skinny!: Advice, Personal Life Experiences, and Over 50 Weight Management Tips on Maintaining a Slim Figure

You’re So Skinny!: Advice, Personal Life Experiences, and Over 50 Weight Management Tips on Maintaining a Slim Figure


Why not have a fabulous figure? Wouldn’t you rather look more attractive, get noticed by others and have greater self-esteem? This book is your complete guide for fitness, weight management, and controlling what favorite foods you eat. You will develop a positive body image and obtain helpful hints for a more enjoyable, healthy and active lifestyle. Whether you want to lose weight or want to maintain your existing weight, you will want to go over this book continuously. You will find out how simple it is to: * Maintain your weight with self-control rather than just lose a few pounds. * Learn to outfit your body to look more stylish and slimmer. * Build your self-esteem by loving and embracing your body; building a strong body image and by accepting its flaws. * Obtain more energy by participating in physical activities, and maximize your daily production. * Bypass the expensive fitness centers and learn how to create your own affordable home gym by choosing the right exercise methods and equipment. * Balance your own food intake to minimize calories and curb your appetite. Deninne Jackson is the author of "You’re So Skinny " (Advice, Personal Life Experiences, and Over 50 Weight Management Tips on Maintaining a Slim Figure). This best selling guide on weight management will show millions of people simple tips on enjoying a more active lifestyle. What are you waiting for?
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Young Singles, Seth Adam Smith’s Marriage Advice Isn’t for You

Dear nieces and nephews (biological and metaphorical),

There’s a marriage advice post spreading across the Internet like low-fat mayo over Wonder Bread. It’s called “Marriage Isn’t for You,” and it’s full of sweet-sounding ideas handed out by Seth Adam Smith, a guy who resembles the male half of the the straight couple that tops every wedding cake. In addition to being handsome, Smith has an inspiring and sad story, so we find ourselves nodding and sharing before we realize what he’s really saying.

You’ll probably run across his post at some point, and it will probably make an impression, since you are “at that age” and some of you are dating, but I want you to take a closer look and really give some thought to the ideas he feels entitled to share as gospel after a year and a half of marriage.

Marry your best friend: Good advice if you can swing it, and advice that I’d love to see you follow. Of course, my best friend and I are both male. In fact, many people find that their best friend shares their gender. Alas, in 36 states marriage is indeed not for us, often thanks to the intervention of Smith’s church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But that probably doesn’t bother Smith, since he thinks that…

Marriage is for your future children: Your great-uncles are too old to have kids, but some of them have recently married. You have cousins who can’t have children, but they got married. One day my partner and I will get married. Do our marriages still count if they’re not about children? They certainly do. You can have a wonderful marriage without having babies. So if you do decide to have children, let it be your choice. Don’t let family or friends or anyone tell you that your marriage is less than theirs if it doesn’t produce babies.

Marriage is for the other person’s happiness: If you love someone, you want them to be happy. And it’s very nice to think that you can make another person happy, but it’s also very arrogant. What really makes a person happy? Lots of things: family, friends, hobbies, work, and more. It will be your job to add to their lives and help them be even happier. The way to do that is to be happy yourself, with hobbies, friends, and work of your own. And when those things aren’t going so well in your lives, you can each help the other through the bad times. Together, two happy people can create an even happier couple, but if you make someone else’s happiness your mission in life, you give them the power to make your life a failure. Which brings me to the last point he makes:

A woman’s selfless love cures everything (but a man’s love can come and go): Smith went through a time when he was being very selfish, and his wife forgave him. That’s great for him, but I want you, especially my nieces, to know that you are under no obligation to be the saint in your relationship. If a relationship depends completely on one partner doing all of the forgiving, all of the loving, all of the sacrificing, then it is not a fair relationship, and you deserve a fair relationship. Don’t let anyone tell you that real men misbehave and real women forgive. Find someone who is prepared to be just as loving and devoted as you are.

See, “marriage is for others” is exactly what women have been told for centuries, and it’s done a lot of harm. “Marriage is for the family” kept women ashamed of their marriage problems and too scared to divorce their husbands. “Marriage is for children” has kept multitudes of women locked in abusive marriages “until the kids are grown.”

Cody and I have been together for almost 20 years now, without state sanction, families pushing us together, or children at our feet. Maybe we’ve managed this long because we didn’t have the “benefit” of very much family advice, so we remain reluctant to give much advice ourselves.

But you know what? Since we were never allowed to be the idealized couple atop the wedding cake, we’ve had to find our own way, and we’ve learned an awful lot. We have advice for what to do when marriage isn’t an option, when kids aren’t in the future, when bromides about selflessness give way to realities about careers, priorities, health, and aging. I may not always put that advice on the Internet, but it will always be here for you. And even if we’re not the first people you think of, I hope you come to us before you put much stock in some of the popular advice floating around out there.

Love,
Uncle Wayne
Weddings – The Huffington Post
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