Mark Zuckerberg 'has so much control' that Facebook doesn't have good corporate governance: expert

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Madonna’s Skin-Care Expert Shares the Treatments and Products Behind the Icon’s Glow

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Legal Expert Thinks Cyntoia Brown Has Chance of Early Release: ‘The National Focus Helps’

The advocacy surrounding the case of Cyntoia Brown — the sex-trafficked teen serving a life sentence for murdering a man who solicited her — might help her obtain early release, a legal expert tells PEOPLE.

University of Memphis professor Steve Mulroy tells PEOPLE that Brown — the 29-year-old woman who, at the age of 16, murdered a 43-year-old man — could have her life sentence commuted by this time next year.

The decision to free her rests entirely with Republican Gov. Bill Haslam.

Haslam has been Tennessee’s governor since 2011, and his term in office ends after 2018.

“Usually, a governor will wait until the end of their second term to make any commutations. If he takes any action at all, it would not be until late next year,” Mulroy says, noting that Haslam has not granted a commutation while in office.

Last month, interest in Brown’s case spiked online when Kim Kardashian West and Rihanna both shared a post on social media featuring an image of Brown, and a statement about her case.

Rapper T.I. and actress Cara Delivigne have also used their platforms to shine new light on the case, and are calling on lawmakers to intervene. Kardashian West vowed in a social media post that she would have her attorneys look into Brown’s conviction to see if anything can be done to help her.

• Want to keep up with the latest crime coverage? Click here to get breaking crime news, ongoing trial coverage and details of intriguing unsolved cases in the True Crime Newsletter.

Brown, who was raped several times as the child of an alcoholic mother, was a teen victim of sex trafficking in Tennessee in 2004 when she fatally shot Johnny Mitchell Allen. The middle-age man had solicited sex from her, according to court documents. Brown becomes eligible for parole after she turns 69.

Brown said she was forced to prostitute by an older boyfriend who essentially became the underage girl’s pimp, taking the money that she would make. She admitted she shot Allen in the back of the head, but claimed she shot him in self-defense because she allegedly saw him reach for his gun.

Brown told cops she did not know who Allen was before he solicited her for sex. After driving to his home, she alleged he showed her his guns before they got into his bed together. Subsequently, she said, he reached underneath his bed for what she thought was a gun, so she pulled a .40-caliber handgun out of her purse and shot him.

However, the jury rejected her claim of self-defense and found her guilty of first-degree premeditated murder, first-degree felony murder and especially aggravated robbery.

Brown’s attorneys have stated their intention to file a clemency petition before Christmas.

Mulroy tells PEOPLE commutations are something of a rarity in Tennessee, with less than 1 percent of all such requests granted.

“But in this case, I think the national focus helps,” Mulroy explains. “There is also a compelling argument for commutation here. The governor only has a year left in office, and has tended to be more moderate than your average Tennessee Republican, who are tough on law and order issues. I suppose there’s a chance it could happen.”

Typically in Tennessee, parole boards consider commutation requests. But Brown won’t be eligible for parole for decades, says Mulroy, who has been teaching law at the University of Memphis for 17 years.

• For more compelling True Crime coverage, follow our Crime magazine on Flipboard.

According to Mulroy, Haslam could move to commute Brown’s sentence entirely, reducing it to time served, or he could shave off enough time to make her “parole eligible, which would allow the parole board to consider her case.”

From what Mulroy’s read about Brown, she’s a good candidate for early release by the parole board.

“The legal standard for commutation of a sentence is someone who makes exceptional strides in self-improvement and rehabilitation, to the point where they are no longer considered to be a threat,” he explains. “She appears to be a model prisoner and got a bachelor’s degree. In addition to the tragic circumstances that got her to commit the crime in the first place, and the national spotlight she now has on her case, since she has been incarcerated, she really seems to have turned her life around.”


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O.J. Simpson’s Life on Parole: An Expert Weighs In

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Expert Baker Trolls Donald Trump With Cakes That Use His Own Words

Brooklyn baker Kat Thek is the brainchild behind Troll Cakes, a new bakery/detective agency that specializes in turning trolls’ mean internet comments into delicious cakes.

But it’s Thek’s “Tiny Hands Special” ― meant for President Trump ― that’s got our attention. This “bigly satisfying” deal means that for only $ 30, you can get one of Trump’s tweets or comments printed on a cake and sent straight to the White House. 

Below is an example of some of Trump’s comments paraphrased from an Associated Press interview on a Troll Cake: 

“It would be a tremendous, terrific mistake to deprive our nation’s noisiest troll of his incredibly deserved Troll Cakes,” Thek told HuffPost via email last week. “Our ‘Tiny Hands Special’ has been well received but it’s also gotten us asked if we’re skirting the line of terrorism. Here’s where we land on that: if putting the president’s exact words into icing on a cake is considered an act of terror, the problem is not the cake.” 

She added, “However, if the White House no longer wishes to receive Troll Cakes, we’re ready to reroute shipments to Mar-a-Lago. We are hopeful that the State Department will include Troll Cakes as a dining option in their next Mar-a-Lago ad.” 

“We’d also like to note that Trump’s decision to incorporate a cake description into his account of the recent Syrian missile strike (it was chocolate and ‘the most beautiful’) was not a sponsored Troll Cakes promotion,” Thek said jokingly. 

If you’d like to just take on a regular troll, there’s a $ 35 option in which the company will bake chocolate chip brownie cake, decorate it with frosting, sprinkles and the comment and then ship it to the troll’s home or work address. If you don’t know where the troll lives, the price goes up to $ 60. 

That means someone’s hateful comment like “Crash in a plane” would be turned into a yummy masterpiece like this. Eat it and weep, trolls: 

Internet comment –> Troll Cake Delivery included @ trollcakes.com #trollcakes

A post shared by Kat Thek (@kat_thek) on

Thek also told HuffPost about coming up with the concept of Troll Cakes and revealed the cake she recently made for one of Amy Schumer’s trolls. 

When did you start Troll Cakes? How did you come up with the concept? 

The troll that really sparked the whole enterprise was on Dolly Parton’s Facebook page. There was something simultaneously infuriating and hilarious about seeing somebody try to bully Dolly Parton. I mean, who would do that? And is the goal to hurt Dolly’s feelings? She’s a 71-year-old millionaire who grew up in a one-room cabin and now wears sequined jumpsuits — a poorly spelled Facebook post isn’t going to take the spring out of her step one bit.

Trolling anyone, especially Dolly Parton, is like aggressively giving the finger to a sunset or a panda or bag of craisins. You’re just letting everybody around you know that you’re a grumpy idiot. It’s fun to maintain that idiocy but then flip the grumpy into something obnoxiously cheerful, like a surprise cake in the mail. 

What do you like most about Troll Cakes? 

Troll Cakes combines our deep interest in cake, catty comments, the mail, being nosy, and having a reason to speak like Julia Child. Putting all of those things together saves a lot of time. 

Why do you call yourselves a detective agency as well? 

We’re a full service operation ― if you don’t know your troll’s home or work address, we’ll track ‘em down.  

What else should we know about Troll Cakes? 

We love sending Troll Cakes between friends ― some of our favorite deliveries have been one friend trolling another for oversharing on Facebook. 

We made the attached “You Donkey Witch” Troll Cake from a comment on Amy Schumer’s instagram and then made a Twitter account to holler at Amy to see if she’d like us to send. No news yet: 

We’re going to start taking Thek’s message to heart ― if you see something, cake something: 

See something? Cake something. #trollcakes

A post shared by Kat Thek (@kat_thek) on

This interview has been edited and condensed for space. 

The HuffPost Lifestyle newsletter will make you happier and healthier, one email at a time. Sign up here.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Arts – The Huffington Post
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Ivanka Trump Prohibited Her Brand From Using Her Face. It’s Not Enough, Says An Ethics Expert.

Ivanka Trump has prohibited her eponymous fashion label from using her likeness in campaigns and social media, in yet another superficial attempt to distance herself from her business. A spokeswoman for the Ivanka Trump brand confirmed Tuesday that employees have begun working with stores to remove any imagery featuring the president’s daughter. 

The news follows the revelation that Trump is getting an office in the White House as well as security clearance and government-issued “communications devices.” Though she reportedly won’t hold an official title or relieve a salary, the move signals a larger role for Ivanka in President Donald Trump’s administration, making her essentially a full-time staffer in “everything but name,” according to Politico.

To the extent such a thing is possible, the news elevates concerns over the Trump family’s business conflicts of interest. If removing her photo from Ivanka Trump products and initiatives is supposed to ease those concerns, it doesn’t at all, according to Noah Bookbinder, director of the group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.  

“It’s not remotely enough,” Bookbinder told The Huffington Post. “First of all, everybody knows who she is and that the brand is connected to her ―  it has her name on it ― and what she’s doing now. The fact that they are not using her likeness in promoting it doesn’t really change the association that literally everybody will have with it.” 

Conflicts regarding Ivanka Trump’s brand began even before her father’s inauguration. In November, media outlets received a “style alert” touting the $ 10,800 bracelet Trump wore from her own collection while appearing on “60 Minutes.” Following massive backlash, the brand promised “new policies and procedures” would be put in place. 

But last week, a San Francisco-based clothing company filed a class-action lawsuit accusing Ivanka Trump’s company of unfair competition “by exploiting the power and prestige of the White House.” The lawsuit notes Trump’s brand sales surged in February after her father’s administration used its platform defend the brand on Twitter that month and promote it on Fox News. (”Go buy it today, everybody,” White House advisor Kellyanne Conway famously told viewers.)

But as Bookbinder pointed out, profits are now far from the only thing at play.

“There is also just a tremendous possibility for conflict of interest, where she could work on issues that effect countries where her brand does business, or effect tax issues or leave issues, anything that may effect her company and the bottom line of it in ways that she knows, and all of that is continuing to be true.”

Trump reportedly stepped down from her positions at her fashion brand and the Trump Organization in January, saying in a Facebook post that she would “no longer be involved with the management or operations” in either. She announced she was passing management of the fashion brand to current president Abigail Klem. 

Trump still owns her brand, though she has placed it in a trust, a spokeswoman for the brand said Tuesday. The New York Times reports she eschewed a blind trust for one run by relatives of her husband, who is a White House senior advisor, and that she still “wields power” over the company. 

So, what does Bookbinder suggest Trump do to eliminate conflicts of interest?

“She basically has two choices,” he said. One is that she cut off her business interests and “sell the business, in which case there is no issue of her profiting either based on conflict on the work she’s doing or based on who she is as a White House official and daughter of the president.”

The other, less likely option is declining a White House position altogether.

“She really can’t do both,” Bookbinder said. “She can’t continue to own and profit from her business and also be an active part of her father’s White House.” 

“Just like her father should sell his businesses, she should sell hers,” he added. 

Only time will tell if Trump makes a move to remove herself completely. In the meantime, prepare to see less of her face in stores and likely more of her face on television. 

 

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How to Talk Dirty. Talking Dirty Expert Sex Guide for Women with 200 Dirty Talk Examples. Includes Talk Dirty Tips to seduce your man in bed, online,

How to Talk Dirty. Talking Dirty Expert Sex Guide for Women with 200 Dirty Talk Examples. Includes Talk Dirty Tips to seduce your man in bed, online,


The must have guide for women passionate about learning to talk dirty to their man, boyfriend, husband, guy, or men, over text, in bed, over the phone and online. This guide includes 200 dirty talk examples and phrases. In addition it includes an excellent section on sex toys. Have you ever wanted to learn how to talk dirty to your man but do not know where to start? In a straight no nonsense fashion DK Overbaker covers all aspects of taking dirty. You will find out why your sexual fantasies play a very important role in improving your dirty talk skills. You will also discover some squirting and G-spot tips you never knew about! By the time you finish reading this e-book you will become very comfortable talking dirty to your man both outside and inside your bedroom, during phone sex, during Sexting and online. Of course role play and BDSM are also covered. This e-book is also about improving your sexual health and education. You will learn about your female sexual anatomy and Kegel exercises. These will help you improve your sexual health. You will also discover some dirty terms you can use to increase your dirty talk vocabulary. This guide also includes the addresses of adult sex shops in a number of major cities.

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Disaster Survival Preparation – What Food and Supplies to Purchase Now For Emergency Survival – And Much More – 101 World Class Expert Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice on Survival and Emergency

Disaster Survival Preparation – What Food and Supplies to Purchase Now For Emergency Survival – And Much More – 101 World Class Expert Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice on Survival and Emergency


Information is power, you know that. But, how do you research the best Survival and Emergency strategies, without spending too much of your time (and money) on it? The average person earns $ 1100 per week, which equates to $ 27 per hour. Trying to do the research yourself would take you at least 5 hours to come up with the best information, AND you’ll have to do this on a regular basis to come up with the most up to date and current information. There has to be a different way to find the info you want! Well, yes there is. we did all the research for you, combed through all the information and got down to the hard core of the 101 most up to date and best Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice here, in this book. The 101 of the most current, most actual and beneficial Facts, Hints, Tips and Advice you can find from experts in the field on Survival and Emergency: – The Importance of Exercising Discretion With Regards to Your Survival Emergency Preparations – 7 Things That Will Cause Your Emergency Power Generator to Fail When You Need it Most – Electrical Fire Extinguisher – Taking Real Form in Carbon Dioxide Extinguishers – Emergency Door Unlocking – A Free Community Service Dedicated to Saving Lives – Which is Better For Long Term Food Supply – Freeze Dried Or Dehydrated? – Emergency Long Term Food Supply – Freeze Dried Foods & Dehydrated Foods – Making the Correlation Between Emergency Preparedness and Blood Supply – Fire Protection Equipment – As Part of Competence and Risk Assessment – Top Ten Reasons I Desperately Needed to Rotate My 72 Hour Kit Foods – Carbon Monoxide Alarm – As Safety Device For Homes and Businesses. And Much More.

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Kate Middleton Recycles Two Outfits in One Day Like an Expert Fashion Repeater

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Expert Styling Tips for Curvy Girls From Superstar Blogger Gabi Fresh

If you’re not one of the nearly 250,000 people following plus-size blogger Gabi Gregg on Instagram, you are seriously missing out. A quick scroll through her feed offers up scores of killer outfits, glimpses of her enviable girl gang, and insiders-only behind-the-scenes photos.

But before she had gazillions of followers, Gregg was just a fashion-savvy college grad who was frustrated with the lack of clothing for young (and trendy!) plus-size women. So she started talking about it. In 2008, she launched Young Fat & Fabulous a blog about her personal style journey (it was later transformed into Gabi Fresh). In just over five years Gabi Fresh is a runaway success and Gregg has become major influence in the curvy style revolution. She’s gone from reviewing collections to modeling in their look books—and this fall, she’s showing off ASOS Curve’s latest collection. (Some of our favorite looks are pictured below!)

Here, Glamour talked to the barrier-breaking blogger about the brand, her shopping tips, and why you need to work on your self-esteem before hitting the mall.

Gabi-Fresh-ASOS-1

Glamour: What was it like to shoot an ASOS look book after being a fan of the brand for so many years?
Gabi Gregg: I’ve been a fan—and customer—of ASOS since they first launched their curve line about five years ago. They’re one of the places I shop the most often. I literally get ASOS packages to my door every month. I think one of the reasons the lookbook has gone so viral is because it was such a natural fit between the blogger and the brand—and that doesn’t always happen. The images came out looking editorial, like any other fashion-forward brand. It didn’t feel catalogue or commercial—the way a lot of plus-size brands tend to feel.

Glamour: How else do you think the collection stands out in a less-than-impressive plus-size market?
GG: They’re definitely pushing the envelope when it comes to fashion-forward, trend-focused plus-size clothing. They don’t just do a basic black dress, they do a cool sequin cape. We see so many brands that don’t do that in plus-sizes—even if they have trendy straight-size lines, the plus-size section is watered down. Most brands are constantly saying, “Plus-size girls don’t want that [product].” So it’s great to see a brand doing the same thing in both their divisions.

Glamour: What are your favorite pieces from the collection?
GG: I love the sequin cape, the yellow suede skirt, the fur coat, and the black dress. It’s hard to pick favorites! Overall, I was happy to how many amazing, on-trend statement pieces there are. Unfortunately, plus-size clothing is often left behind on trends. If we even get them, often times trends are a season or two late, so it was great to see that this is right on time.

Gabi-Fresh-ASOS-2

Glamour: What are your other must-haves for fall?
GG: I’m really into flared jeans right now. Faux-fur coats, suede skirts and dresses, and turtlenecks are my other must-buy pieces this season.

Glamour: How often do you tailor your clothes? What are some of your signature adjustments?
GG: I encourage everyone to get their clothes tailored. Everyone fits things differently—especially when it comes to plus-sizes because everyone carries their weight differently. People don’t realize that the bloggers and celebrities they see looking amazing in clothing got it custom tailored. They think there’s something wrong with their body when, in fact, they can get the clothes changed.

The number one thing I tailor is my pants: I get the legs taken in. A lot of time, if something fits my hips and my butt it’s too baggy between the knee and the ankle, so I get them tapered. I also hem my skirts. If it’s a midi skirt, I bring the hem up from the mid-calf to hit just below the knee.

Glamour: Any other tips for getting the best fit out of your clothing?
GG: I think girls are scared to deviate from the size they usually are. When it comes to fit I try everything. I’m not against wearing clothes that aren’t my ‘size’ on the tag. If I see a dress, like a cool utility dress, I know it will look best fitting over-sized so I order it two sizes up. If I want a body-con dress to fit skin-tight, I almost always order it two sizes small. Think about how the piece should fit and adjust what size you buy accordingly.

Gabi-Fresh-ASOS-5

Glamour: How can we master the art of e-shopping?
GG: I shop different sites differently and part of that is just getting used to shopping there. I know it sucks, but you have to learn how things fit and what works. Sometimes, on the same site I’ll range in size from 14 to 22 depending on the cut of the piece. My cart is always four different sizes!

I also love eBay. I search every iteration of whatever item I want. I may search ‘plus-size romper’ and then ‘romper XXL’ because it might not be tagged with plus-size. If I ever love a trend and wish it was made in my size, I go on eBay and search the trend with ‘XXL’ or ‘plus-size’ and I always get a result.

Glamour: Which style crushes of yours should everyone be following on Instagram?
GG: I love Solange Knowles (@saintrecords), Karla Deras (@karla_deras)—she’s probably my favorite—Nadia Aboulhosn (@nadiaaboulhosn), Nicolette Mason (@nicolettemason), and Amber Riley (@msamberpriley).

Glamour: What final piece of style advice do you want to give to our readers?
GG: Work on your self-esteem first—especially if you’re plus-size. Find a community and surround yourself with other women who have similar body types to you. You won’t feel like you’re ‘different’ or the odd one out. A lot of the time, that’s what’s holding people back from making that jump into fashion-forward dressing. They don’t feel confident enough or don’t feel like they look good enough. Once you work on your self-esteem and feel good in your body, you’re way more likely to shop more and have fun with clothing.

Gabi-Fresh-ASOS-6

For more on Style Your Size:
Fashion Tips for Women With DD Cups or More
The Best Places for Shop for Sizes 26/28
This New Blogger Is Redefining What it Means to Be a Size 12

Here, model Ashley Graham shows you how to wear the season’s trickiest trends:



Dressed
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The Blissful Baby Expert By Lisa Clegg (Paperback)

The Blissful Baby Expert By Lisa Clegg (Paperback)


Overview There are few life experiences more joyful than becoming a parent, but caring for a newborn can be daunting, particularly when you’re not sure whose advice to follow or what your baby really needs. In The Blissful Baby Expert, Lisa Clegg draws on her own experience of motherhood and her professional life as a nanny and maternity nurse to share her essential, trusted advice. Gentle, reassuring and practical, her book guides you every step of the way from birth to two years. It includes: Equipment – what is essential and what is helpful; Coming home – how to cope and bond in the early days; Sleep – flexible plans to help your baby settle and sleep; Feeding – guilt-free breast- and bottle feeding; Weaning – when to start and how to do it; Q & As – common worries and what to do; and Development – what to expect and advice on toys. Every baby is different and this is why Lisa’s book isn’t a restrictive one-size-fits-all plan. Instead, she gives you the knowledge you need to trust your own instincts, build your confidence and learn to recognise what is best for your baby. With this knowledge, you’ll enjoy calm, happy parenting and a blissful, settled baby. Product details Isbn-13: 9780091955014, 978-0091955014 Author: Lisa Clegg Publisher: Ebury Press Publication date: 2014-02-06 About Wordery Wordery is one of the UK’s largest online booksellers. With millions of satisfied customers who enjoy low prices on a huge range of books, we offer a reliable and trusted service and consistently receive excellent feedback. We offer a huge range of over 8 million books; bestsellers, children’s books, cheap paperbacks, baby books, special edition hardbacks and textbooks. All our books are dispatched from the UK. Wordery offers Free Delivery on all UK orders, and competitively priced international delivery. #HappyReading

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LEGO Creator Expert Fairground Mixer with $30 Walmart Gift Card

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LEGO Creator Expert Fairground Mixer: Fair toy includes 12 minifigures: a juggling man on stilts, dunk tank lady, strong man challenger, ticket lady, truck driver, ride operator, 2 women, 2 girls, 2 boys and a queasy man who tried the mixer one too many times Features working Fairground Mixer ride with crank operation, 2 transport trucks, high striker and dunk tank LEGO Fairground Mixer includes glow-in-the-dark elements Mixer truck has opening doors, windshield wipers and removable roof to access interior with bed and TV Accessory truck holds ticket booth, high-striker and dunk tank Accessories include: ice cream, popsicle, lime green cherries, teddy bear, juggling pins and a large and small mallet for the high-striker Easily upgrade the Mixer ride with LEGO Power Functions motors (not included) Enjoy the fun of the fair LEGO Creator Fairground Mixer ride unfolded measures 17″L (45cm) x 12″W (31cm) x over 11″H (30cm) Number of pieces: 1746 Model# 10244 Basic Blue Walmart Gift Card: Easy to Use For purchases at Walmart.com and in U.S. Walmart stores For purchases by SAM’S Club members in U.S. SAM’S Club stores and at Samsclub.com In stores, present the Walmart gift card at checkout Online, enter gift card number and PIN (on back of gift card) during checkout. The PIN provides secure online shopping. As you make purchases, the gift card amount decreases. Add to gift card balance anytime in a Walmart store. Check card balance in stores or online More Information Walmart Gift Cards have no fees and never expire Not returnable or refundable for cash except in states where required by law For orders of 25 gift cards or more, or 0 and higher, we’ll send you an email about activating the Basic Blue cards Gift envelopes are not included or available for Walmart gift card purchases By purchasing this Basic Blue Walmart gift card, you agree to Shopping Cards Terms and Conditions More about gift cards

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Expert Tips to Detect Early Warning Signs of Stroke

Fast identification of brain attacks leads to better outcomes
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The Love Advice That Shocked Expert Karl Pillemer

SPECIAL FROM Next Avenue

By Suzanne Gerber

You’d think that nothing could shock Karl Pillemer, when it comes to the lives of older folks. After all, the distinguished gerontologist, family sociologist, Cornell University professor and leading researcher on aging (he runs the Cornell Legacy Project) wrote the 2011 bestseller 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice for the Wisest Americans.

And yet, he says, “I was surprised at how important sex is to a couple’s relationship even into their 80s and 90s. I shouldn’t have been, but I was also hit over the head by how open and willing older people are to talk about sexuality with an interviewer.”

Pillemer is referring to the thousands of hours of interviews he and his team conducted for his latest book, 30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationship, and Marriage. Over the course of two years, they talked with some 700 folks whose marriages lasted an average of 43 years and came away with valuable lessons for everyone — including himself.

View From the Finish Line

Published this month, “30 Lessons for Loving” picks up where the first book left off, but instead of offering advice on a host of topics, this one, as the title suggests, focuses on love and marriage. Pillemer chose that subject partly in a leap of faith and partly because of the strong feedback he was receiving from readers.

The leap of faith was the result of the research he kept encountering. “Study after study showed that people in their 70s, 80s and beyond were actually happier than younger people,” he says.

And the data shows that successful relationships are very important to the next generations, leading Pillemer to conclude that “marriage is here to stay. Nearly 100 percent of young people plan to get married and think it’s a good thing. I know they’re receptive to hearing advice from people who made it 50 years because they’ve got credibility.”

Readers were also writing to him asking for more material on love and marriage. One woman told Pillemer she gave a copy of the first book to her son when he got engaged and at the wedding the couple had a “Lessons for Living” station, where guests were invited to leave comments. Dozens of other readers told Pillemer they gave their children copies and bookmarked the lesson, “Don’t Rush Into Marriage,” as a not-so-subtle hint. Thus, 30 Lessons for Loving was born.

A Dangerous Experiment

According to Pillemer, this is the first time in history that young people have little to no contact with older people except maybe a grandparent. “New data shows that less than one-third of people over 65 have had meaningful conversations with people under 30 in the previous month,” he says. “Take out family, and it’s less than 5 percent. People are more likely to have friends of another race than friends more or less than 10 years apart.”

Not only is this shocking to Pillemer, it’s deeply disheartening. “I think we’re in the midst of a dangerous experiment,” he says. “This is the most age-segregated society that’s ever been. Vast numbers of younger people are likely to live into their 90s without contact with older people. As a result, young people’s view of aging is highly unrealistic and absurd. “

So now, Pillemer says, “I’m focusing on older people’s wisdom and helping creating positive new images. That’s one of the reasons for this book.”

Love and Marriage

Lessons for Loving is divided into five sections — Lessons for Finding a Mate, Communication and Conflict, Getting Over the Hard Parts, Keeping the Spark Alive and Thinking Like an Expert About Love. Each of these is further broken down into six lessons, such as “Give Up Grudges” and “Accept Your Partner As Is.”

The book reads like a candid and entertaining advice column, which is precisely what Pillemer intended. “As an academic I had to learn to write in a whole new genre that I felt younger people could use,” he says. He succeeded. The book is eminently readable.

The “experts” — the author’s solution to the dilemma of what to call folks in this age range — had surprising and enlightening things to say.

Pillemer recently got to put one such gem of wisdom, from a 71-year-old interviewee named April, to good use. When he and his wife were having what he calls persistent and irreconcilable differences about a bathroom renovation, he recalled the woman’s words: “It’s important to let some things go, to figure out what matters and what really doesn’t matter. If [my husband and I] were in some sort of struggle, we would stop and say, “Which one of us is this more important to?” And when we could figure that out, the other one found it so much easier to let go.”

In describing his bathroom drama, he says, “My wife wanted a claw-foot tub, and I wanted a stall shower. The disagreements went on and on until I recalled April’s advice and realized how important the tub was to my wife. So I let her have it. It might sound small, but it was huge to us.”

The best thing about researching and writing this book, Pillemer adds, was the long view it’s afforded him. “It never hit me before, but marriage is really a discipline, where you agree to forgo something for long-term success.”

His other big takeaway: “I have a renewed sense of hopefulness that we can keep things vibrant and exciting.”

Now, that’s exciting.

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