Sarah Palin Pays Tribute to ‘Friend’ John McCain: ‘I Will Remember the Good Times’

Sarah Palin is remembering Sen. John McCain after her former running mate died of brain cancer at the age of 81 on Saturday.

Sen. McCain and Palin, once the governor of Alaska, ran as a ticket in the 2008 presidential election.

Palin, 54, wrote on Twitter Saturday, “Today we lost an American original. Sen. John McCain was a maverick and a fighter, never afraid to stand for his beliefs. John never took the easy path in life — and through sacrifice and suffering he inspired others to serve something greater than self.”

She continued, “John McCain was my friend. I will remember the good times. My family and I send prayers for Cindy and the McCain family.”

She also wrote on Instagram, “Heartfelt condolences. God, please provide peace to Sen. McCain’s family at this time. To all who honor him and his service: we share sorrowful feelings tonight, but remain thankful for Sen. McCain and all our vets and active service members who serve something greater than self. God bless the McCains.”

Palin previously spoke out on Friday when McCain’s family announced his decision to discontinue treatment for his stage-four cancer.

“Prayers for Sen. McCain and his family at this most trying time,” she wrote on Instagram. “May comfort and peace envelop them. May my friend sense appreciation for his inspiration to serve something greater than self.”

In recent months, Sen. McCain expressed regret about selecting Palin as his vice presidential candidate in his book, The Restless Wave: Good Times, Just Causes, Great Fights, and other Appreciations, and in an HBO documentary.

Related: John McCain’s Mom, 106, Is ‘Proud’ of His Legacy — But It’s ‘Tough’ to ‘Bury Your Child’: Source

He said that not choosing his friend and former Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) as his running mate was “another mistake that I made” during the election, which President Barack Obama won, though he offered praise for Palin’s work on the campaign.

Palin told The Daily Mail in May, “That’s not what Sen. McCain has told me all these years.”

She added, “I attribute a lot of what we’re hearing and reading regarding McCain’s statements to his ghostwriter or ghostwriters.”

RELATED VIDEO: Senator John McCain Dies at Age 81

Tributes for Sen. McCain, the former POW and longtime Republic politician, also came from McCain’s family members.

His wife Cindy McCain, 64, wrote, “My heart is broken. I am so lucky to have lived the adventure of loving this incredible man for 38 years. He passed the way he lived, on his own terms, surrounded by the people he loved, in the place he loved best.”

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His daughter Meghan McCain, 33, said, “In the thirty-three years we shared together, he raised me, taught me, corrected me, comforted me, encouraged me, and supported me in all things,” she wrote in part. “He taught me how to live. His love and his care, ever present, always unfailing, took me from a girl to a woman — and he showed me what it is to be a man.”

Funeral arrangements for Sen. McCain are underway.
PEOPLE.com

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Mom-to-Be Was Prepping for Sex Reveal Party, Friend Says — Then Husband Allegedly Murdered Her

Colorado mother Shanann Watts returned from a work trip early Monday excited for what was to come.

On Instagram, before she headed to Arizona for business, she had rattled off the highlights of a bustling month — and one of the things she was looking forward to was a sex reveal party for her third child.

Once she made it home to Frederick, however, Shanann met a grimmer fate: Authorities believe the 34-year-old was murdered by her husband, Chris Watts — likely in the house they shared with their young daughters, Bella and Celeste, who were also killed.

The trio were reported missing on Monday afternoon, about 12 hours after Shanann got back from Scottsdale. Her body was found Thursday and the remains of her girls are believed to have been recovered later that same day.

A friend told local TV station KDVR that this coming Saturday was the scheduled day for the 15-weeks-pregnant Shanann’s sex reveal party, to be held at the family’s home in Frederick.

“I’m completely at a loss for words,” Ashley Bell told the outlet.

RELATED VIDEO: Pregnant Mom & 2 Daughters Likely Killed at Home — Allegedly by Husband — Before Bodies Were Dumped

Shanann’s younger brother, Frankie Rzucek, previously said she was going to give birth to a son named Nico.

While he initially blasted his brother-in-law — describing Chris, 33, as a “heartless psychopath” — on Friday he posted again about the killings, this time to grieve.

“I’ve never been so mad, sad, enraged, hurt heartbroken, lost, and shocked in all my life,” Rzucek wrote. “So forgive me for how I went about it. My sister and nieces meant the absolute world to me. They made me strive to be an even better man. I wanted them to be proud of their Uncle.”

Chris, who was arrested Wednesday night before the bodies of his wife and kids were found the next day, remains in custody without body and is accused of first-degree murder and three-counts of tampering with a body.

His attorney did not respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment.


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Wash. Teen Was Lured into Woods for Camping Trip Before Friend Allegedly Raped, Killed Him

The Washington 16-year-old who police allege was raped and beaten to death by his childhood friend and the friend’s brother was lured into the woods on the premise of a camping trip and then assaulted for nearly 45 minutes, according to charging documents obtained by PEOPLE.

The Lewis County Sheriff’s Office has charged Jonathon Adamson, 21, and his 16-year-old brother Benito Marquez with first-degree rape and murder in the death of Benjamin Eastman, who was last seen alive on June 23 before his body was found on June 28 on a remote parcel of land owned by Marquez’s relative.

According to the charging documents, Marquez, who is being charged as an adult, was a childhood friend of Ben’s. He and his brother allegedly lured Ben into the woods for a camping trip on June 24, but then knocked him to the ground and assaulted him for nearly 45 minutes.

The charging documents allege Adamson told police he and Marquez sexually assaulted Ben with a stick while he was still alive.

• Want to keep up with the latest crime coverage? Click here to get breaking crime news, ongoing trial coverage and details of intriguing unsolved cases in the True Crime Newsletter.

Before burying Ben, the brothers allegedly beat him in the head with a rock to ensure he was dead.

The brothers are also both charged with tampering with physical evidence and unlawful disposal of remains and are currently being held on $ 10 million bail. Information about whether they have entered a plea or retained attorneys was not immediately available.

Victim’s Father: ‘My Son Is Loved’

Ben lived with his father in Randle, and his father, Benjamin Eastman, sat in the front row Monday during the suspect’s court appearance, reports KOMONews.com.

“I wanted them to look at me, I wanted to look them in the eye,” the father told the outlet.

Ben’s father told the outlet that Ben was a joyful, happy teenager, and the two enjoyed camping, fishing and dirt biking together.

Ben’s father said there are “evil people out there. I don’t know what makes them tick. I don’t want to know. I’m loved, and my son was loved and that’s all I’m about.”

According to local station KIRO7, hundreds gathered for a vigil at the White Pass Junior and Senior High School in Randle. Principal Chris Schumaker said it was fitting the service began in the gym because Ben loved sports so much and was always in the gym.

Ben and his family were fans of the Miami Dolphins, and during the vigil, the family released aqua and orange balloons representing the Dolphins team colors, the outlet reports.


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Books of The Times: With a Friend Like Him, They Didn’t Need Enemies

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Singer Steve Lawrence Gives Emotional Tribute to His Friend Jerry Lewis: ‘He Was One of a Kind’

Steve Lawrence is opening up about the death of his longtime friend and show business colleague, Jerry Lewis.

“He was one of a kind. There are only a handful of people you can say are that unique and I don’t think we’ll never see the likes of him again,” Lawrence, 82, tells PEOPLE.

“He’s in the same class as people like Frank Sinatra, Don Rickles and Clark Gable, people whose popularity transcends decades. Their popularity stays the same even as the world and business changes around them.”

Lewis, whose manic style of comedy amused audiences for over eight decades, has died, his agent confirmed to PEOPLE on Sunday. He was 91.

Lawrence, best known as a member of the musical duo “Steve and Edydie” with his wife Eydie Gormé, remembers knowing Lewis long before he and Gormé were married in 1956.

“We were good pals. Eydie and I became friends of his a long time ago,” says Lawrence. “He was a big fan of Eydie’s, and when she had her first record out, he just fell in love with it. The record was called I Love Romance, and he took copies and went around to disc jockeys and radio shows all over town telling them, ‘You gotta listen to this, it’s the best record you’ll ever hear.’ He was like her publicist.”

After Lawrence and Gormé married, they continued to socialize with Lewis. “We became friendlier with Jerry over the years,” he explains. “We were all in the same business and people have a way of hanging around with other people who know what your life is about.”

When Lewis and Dean Martin first brought their “Martin and Lewis” act to New York’s Copacabana Club, Lawrence and Gormé were there.

“When he and Dean started, it was like an explosion,” he says. “When those two guys got together and opened at the Copacabana, you would not believe the pandemonium that existed in that club, it just went nuts. You couldn’t get in the joint after that, they broke every record in the house.”

By marrying Lewis’s slapstick, vaudeville routines with Martin’s singing and own comedic timing, the handsome duo created a comedy act unlike anything audiences had ever seen. “This was the first time there was a comedy act that looked like this,” Lawrence explains.

“They were very attractive looking guys, and before that you had duos like Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello and Olsen and Johnson. Then Martin and Lewis came along and they were just so different than any of those guys. They were coming out in tuxedos looking gorgeous, two tall, funny, gifted, talented guys. It was also the first time you had a comic like Lewis with a guy like Dean, who could sing and was funny. The two of them did everything.”

After Martin and Lewis’ “unfortunate” breakup in 1956, Lawrence and Gormé “remained friendly with both of them, because we really were friends and fans of both. We were there at their last show at the Copacabana and we paid our respects to both of them individually.”

In fact, when Lewis opened at the Palace Theater in New York shortly after the breakup, he tapped Gormé to join him onstage for the first act. “It was an incredible show,” Lawrence remembers. “The two of them got along famously and the business was fanstastic.”

Of course, Lewis’ talents extended far beyond the stage. “He was also extraordinarily gifted as a writer and as a director,” explains Lawrence. “He was also an innovator. I remember he never liked waiting for dailies , so he came up with this idea of taping a smaller camera under the main film camera, so that he and the producers could see what the scene looked like without having to wait until the next day for the main film to be developed.”

This process, now called video assist, “ended up becoming the standard bearer,” says Lawrence. “It was incredible and totally unheard of at the time. He had a very creative head and was a wonderful director. He did a lot of things people weren’t doing at the time, like breaking the fourth wall,” which is a term for when a character speaks to the audience.

Steve and Eydie Perform on the 1983 Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon

 

Lawrence also remembers Lewis for his groundbreaking humanitarian work. “Being a spokesperson for muscular dystrophy became his life work, and nobody is sure how or why he started to do that. But he became one of the most successful fundraisers in history. People forget that he raised over 2.5 billion dollars for muscular dystrophy.”

Moving forward, Lawrence says Lewis “will be missed not only by the people who knew and loved him, but by millions of people who shared their lives with him and his great talent. And of course, for the wonderful things he did for people who suffered from muscular dystrophy.”

He added, “Jerry will be noted in the halls of show business because he was involved on every level, from television to records to motion pictures. He contributed as a director, as a writer, as a comedian and to arguably the best duo in comedy that every existed. I don’t think we’ll ever see the likes of Martin Lewis again.”


PEOPLE.com

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My Mom Was My Best Friend, and I Was Kind of a Dick

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11 Things You’ll Relate To If Your Cousin Is Your Best Friend

Sure, some people only see their cousins at family reunions ― along with other distant relatives. But for those lucky to enough to call a cousin a best friend ― myself included ― life is pretty damn great. 

Having a cousin for a bestie means you have a sidekick at family events and someone to vent to when your parents or siblings are being annoying. But most importantly, you know that they’re always there for you. Below are some truths about having a cousin for a BFF:

1. You can count on them to be there at every holiday.

Likely with wine in hand, ready to gossip about all the family drama. Plus, if you have to split the last slice of pumpkin pie, it may as well be with each other.

2. And you’re bound to text them under the table at those family gatherings.

If something ridiculous happens, your cousin is the first person you reach out to on the sly.

3. You’ll likely be in each other’s weddings.

And there’s no one else either of you would rather have at the altar when you say “I do.”

4. There’s still a chance you’ll fight like siblings.

Your cousin is not afraid to call you out when you’re being moody, and you’re not scared to tell them that their hairstyle looks lame. You’re stuck with each other for life, so you might as well be honest.

5. They were there during your awkward teenage years.

And they’re not afraid to remind you of it. That includes, but is not limited to, making fun of your old school photos, poor style choices or nerdy hobbies. (Beanie Baby collecting, anyone?)

6. You’re able to vent to them about your other relationships.

Your sister is being insufferable? Your cousin is always there to give you some sound wisdom. Their significant other is driving them bonkers? You’re there to talk it out over lunch.

7. You’re always told that you look alike ― and you love it.

It runs in the family, after all.

8. They understand and are sensitive to your family issues.

Because it’s their family, too, and they know how ridiculous the clan can be. It’s always helpful to have an ally when grandma asks when you’re going to start dating.

9. Your wardrobe is full of clothes they gave you.

Hand-me-downs are totally okay when they come from your cousin’s closet.

10. Your parents are constantly comparing the two of you.

Or accidentally calling you by the other one’s name. But this is more of a compliment than an annoyance.

11. You wouldn’t trade your relationship for the world.

You guys are siblings at heart and best friends for life. What’s better than that?

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Terminally Ill Mom Whose Best Friend Promised to Adopt Her Four Kids Has Died

Sara Hankins, the mother of four who made headlines in December when her longtime best friend promised to adopt her kids, died Monday after a debilitating battle with ALS, according to her online obituary. She was 36.

According to the obituary posted by a funeral parlor, Hankins was surrounded by her family at her home in Milan, Illinois, at the time of her death. She’s survived by her four children — Alexis, 18, Cayden, 11, Micah, 9, and Amara, 8, — as well as her grandparents, mother, siblings, siblings’ spouses and nieces and nephews.

Tributes for Hankins poured in online, where she was described by those who knew her as “a beautiful amazing woman.”

“She enjoyed being a cosmetologist and sharing stories while making people beautiful,” her family wrote in her obituary. “She loved cooking and spending time with her family and friends. Above all else, being a mother was the most important thing to Sara.”

An open house dedicated to celebrating her life took place on Saturday. The family has asked memorials be made to the Sara Hankins Memorial Fund. She will be cremated.

Hankins best friend — Missy Armstrong — previously told PEOPLE that as Hankins entered the final stages of battle with the neurodegenerative disease (for which there is no cure), her thoughts were only with the future of her four children.

“The thought of where they would go was killing her more than the ALS was,” Armstrong, told PEOPLE. “It consumed her everyday thoughts, because none of her family members were able to take in all four kids together.”

That’s what motivated Armstrong to adopt her friend’s children.

“I decided to step in,” the 42-year-old explained. “I knew in my heart this was the right thing to do, that this was how it was meant to be.”

The two met at La’ James cosmetology school in the town of East Moline, Illinois, in 1999 and “were best friends instantly.” And while Armstrong had two children of her own — Kairee, 14, and Alexa, 22 — she was happy to carry on her best friend’s legacy.

“I’ll be here for the kids forever, now,” Armstrong said. “They’re family.”

”I hug Sara’s babies extra tight because she can’t hold them,” she added.

As of December, Armstrong was still looking to gain full guardianship of Alexis, Cayden, Micah and Amara and eventually to adopt them.

She had also raised over $ 22,000 to put a down-payment on “a perfect five-bedroom” for the kids — which Hankins had helped her pick out.


PEOPLE.com

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“My Friend, My Soulmate, My Sister”: The Official Ranking of Real Housewives BFFs

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This Robot Egg Could Be Your New Best Friend

Panasonic showed off a robot egg at CES 2017 that could serve as a desktop companion in the future.

The proof of concept robot is described by Panasonic to have “human-like movements and communication skills,” is equipped with Wi-Fi to access cloud data, has an embedded projector, and is “about the size of a standard kitchen countertop blender.”

eggbot

“This test project builds on Panasonic’s innovations in robotics including battery and power solutions, vision and sensing, navigation solutions and motion control in a new appealing design,” Panasonic’s Director of the North American Design Strategy Office Takahiro Iijima said. “This is Panasonic’s latest effort in demonstrating network services in a friendly package.”

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This Boy Grew His Hair For Two Years So He Could Donate It To His Friend

For two years, Tyler Boone has grown his hair out with one goal in mind: to cut it and donate it to his friend who lost her hair.

According to ABC Action News WFTS, Boone’s friend Gabby Ruiz has alopecia, a disorder that causes her to lose her hair. To help Ruiz get a wig, Boone decided to grow his hair for two years.

“I just want to make her happy,” he told the station.

Before 2016 ended, Ruiz herself was able to cut off 12 inches of Boone’s hair. Children With Hair Loss, an organization that provides wigs at no cost for kids who have lost their hair, will ensure Ruiz receives her wig.

After WFTS posted the story on its Facebook page on Dec. 29, commenters shared their praise for Boone and his generous gesture.

“This is so sweet, I am so happy when I hear stories like these,” one commenter wrote. “What a beautiful heart this boy has,” wrote another.

Ruiz thinks her selfless friend is “a great person,” too.

“He’s amazing,” she said.

H/T Viral Viral Videos

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The Other Half Of Wham! Remembers His Close Friend George Michael

Wham! may have broken up 30 years ago, but the two members of the musical duo, George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, remained close friends up until Michael’s death at the age of 53 this month.

Unlike so many other famous musical groups, the two friends, who once dreamed as teenage kids in England of becoming pop icons together, never had a falling out after they decided to call it quits. In fact, in 1986 ― after multiple No. 1 hits and 25 million records sold ― Michael called their decision “the most amicable split in pop history.”

On his website, Michael referred to Ridgeley as his “best friend,” saying that at the end of their run together, their friendship was “as strong as it was in the beginning.”

Ridgeley, who largely escaped from public view after Michael took his career solo in the mid-1980s, evidently shares that feeling. Upon hearing of Michael’s death, Ridgeley tweeted that he was “heartbroken” and that Michael had “left the best of himself,” a clear reference to his friend’s music. 

“[George Michael] had a voice that would transport u, he was the finest singer/songwriter of his generation & has left the best of himself 4 us,” Ridgeley wrote.

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Jim Selman reads a thought provoking letter he wrote to a dear friend

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La Borinqueña’s Best Friend Is A Chinese-Dominican Badass

La Borinqueña’s universe is getting even more diverse. 

The Nuyorican heroine already stands out among other comic book superheroes thanks to her proud afro-Latina roots. Now her best friend Lauren “La La” Liu, who is Chinese-Dominican, is going a step further in showing the immense diversity of the Latino community.

Edgardo Miranda-Rodriguez told The Huffington Post in May that he created La Borinqueña, whose real name is Marisol de la Luz, as a “symbol of hope” for the Puerto Rican diaspora. When the boricua isn’t flying off to a new adventure, she and her childhood best friend La La are studying earth and environmental sciences at Columbia University. 

La La’s character came to life in part because the Smithsonian Asian Pacific American center commissioned Miranda-Rodriguez to create a bigger storyline for the Chinese-Dominican character. 

“As I’m independently publishing my comic book, I couldn’t afford to give La La Liu a bigger part in the first issue,” he told HuffPost on Thursday. “She was originally just a small character. However, with the Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Center CTRL+ALT exhibition that debuted on November 12 and 13, I’ve seen the amazing response that she’s been getting from women in general who love her story, her look and her attitude. I look forward to making her a larger part of the La Borinqueña series should I have a strong enough response to help me work on a second issue.”

La La’s family immigrated from the Barrio Chino in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic to New York City, according to Miranda-Rodriguez. And it was via the friendship La La’s mother formed with Marisol’s mother, Dr. Flor de la Luz Rojas, that the two girls became childhood friends. 

La La is particularly fond of her long board, which she is always riding down the hills of her neighborhood, and her favorite book is The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

“Junot Díaz is an old friend of mine since we were young activists back in the 1990s,” Miranda-Rodriguez said, pointing to a detail in the illustration below. “The Oscar Wao graphic on the skateboard is a nod to our longtime friendship!”

La La may not be superhuman like her best friend, but Miranda-Rodriguez recently told Mitú the character has “the tenacity and cojones of a badass young woman from Washington Heights” despite having no special powers. 

The creator of La Borinqueña, whose worked with Marvel and DMC comics in the past, also feels personally connected with bringing an Asian-Latino character to life.

“The beauty of being Latino is how diverse we are as a people,” he told HuffPost recently. “As we celebrate our heritage, it’s important to also recognize the Asian diaspora. My wife is Korean-American and together we are raising a Korean/Puerto Rican son, or Koricua like I like to call him. My goddaughter is Chinese American raised by Filipino/Puerto Rican/Dominican parents. Asian Latinx are part of my own family as are Afro Latinx. Therefore, given the chance to tell my own stories, I wanted to create a character that many of us could relate to.”

Miranda-Rodriguez said he spoke to writer Carmen Rita Wong about her own Dominican-Chinese upbringing and other Asian Latinos in his life to create La La. 

La Borinqueña first full length issue is set to be released online on Dec. 22, the anniversary of the Puerto Rican flag. La La’s story will be reprinted as part of the debut. 

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What It’s Like to Make It in Showbiz With Your Best Friend

Meet the songwriters Benj Pasek and Justin Paul of “Dear Evan Hansen” and “La La Land.”
NYT > Arts

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My Friend Huggles Rubi Life-Size Character-Building Doll

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Hello My Old Friend Coffee Funny Humor Shirts Women’s T-Shirt

Hello My Old Friend Coffee Funny Humor Shirts Women’s T-Shirt


Womens Premium T-Shirt – If you love coffee and drink it every day then this Hello My Old Friend Coffee design is perfect for you! Wear this design on t-shirts, hoodies, electronic cases and more! Available for men and women! – The headliner of the Spreadshirt Collection is our premium t-shirt. This is as perfect as perfect gets: its soft yet stretchy, a little longer than a standard tee and figure-flattering. Order a few as this is sure to become a fast favorite.100% cotton (heather gray is 95% cotton/5% viscose) Fabric weight: 5.29 oz (midweight)Fairly produced, certified and triple auditedOptimized for vibrant print resultsDouble-stitched ribbed collar and hemsImported; processed and printed in the U.S.A. + + + With hundreds of designs – Spreadshirt – is the online destination for your favorite tees. Many of our designs are available in mens, womens, youth, kids and baby sizes and come in a variety of different colors. Check our Rakuten store to see them all!

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Aurora and the Helpful Dragon / Tiana and Her Furry Friend

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The ‘Friend Zone’ May Be Why Some People End Up With Much More Attractive Partners

​Wait, what?

Lifestyle – Esquire

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Ryan Reynolds’ Friend Tried To Sell Photos Of Baby James, And It Was Crushing

Ryan Reynolds experienced a betrayal of a particularly hurtful kind after the birth of his daughter, James. 

“A guy that I’d known for my whole life, one of my closest friends growing up, he had been shopping pictures of my baby around,” Reynolds told GQ for the magazine’s latest issue. “I kind of got in front of it, which is good. But it was a slightly dark period. A bad couple of weeks.”

The “guy” was a close friend of Reynolds who he has known for 25 years. 

“It was like a death. It was like one of those devastating things to find out,” he said, adding that the person did it for the money and didn’t think he’d get caught. “It was, like, so kind of shocking. There isn’t really a conversation to have. It’s just, ‘Oh, well, now I’m never going to see you or talk to you again, unfortunately.’ That’s kind of how it worked out.”

Fatherhood has been a life-changer for the “Deadpool” star, who welcomed James with wife Blake Lively last December. 

“I’ve learned that an inordinate amount of clichés are completely true,” he added. “Like, there is this kid here that I would walk through fire for. Or, maybe not fire. Like, a very hot pavement, I’d walk through. A shag rug.”

Read more over on GQ.com

 

Also on HuffPost: 

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The British Friend Volume 2

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This Remarkably Cool Bride Helped A Friend Propose At Her Own Wedding

There aren’t many brides out there who would genuinely be okay with a guest popping the question at her wedding. But bride Chelsea Pulse is one of those rare souls.

Not only was she supportive of her friend Brett Davidson proposing to her cousin Megan Creal at the reception, it was actually her idea in the first place. This is how it went down: At the April 2015 nuptials in Excelsior Springs, Missouri, Chelsea pretended like she was going to toss the bouquet. At the last minute, she handed it off to Megan instead and prompted her to turn around, where Brett was waiting.

2015-06-26-1435356718-2445859-ScreenShot20150626at3.08.17PM.png
via Gold Hairpin Films

2015-06-26-1435356802-6403896-ScreenShot20150626at3.08.33PM.png
via Gold Hairpin Films

“When we told [Brett and Megan] the date we had set for the wedding, they mentioned that it was the same day as their anniversary,” Chelsea told The Huffington Post. “I couldn’t resist having something special for them on our day. After a couple months of pondering, the idea came to me that he should propose at our wedding! I messaged him about it and he, of course, did not want to steal our thunder. But my husband and I both assured him that would not be the case and that we would be honored to have him do it on our day.”

Wedding videographer Gold Hairpin Films captured the sweet moment and uploaded it to Vimeo earlier this month.

2015-06-26-1435357242-7165012-ScreenShot20150626at3.20.24PM.png
via Gold Hairpin Films

“She was completely speechless!” Chelsea told HuffPost of Megan’s reaction. “She had no idea and was noticeably confused as Brett dropped to one knee. It really caught her off-guard and her reaction was priceless.”

The bride also said that she didn’t realize how unusual it was for her to be on-board with a mid-wedding proposal until the video started going viral.

“That was a complete afterthought to us,” she said. “Not one ounce of us wanted to hold back from allowing this occasion to happen!”

Watch the sweet moment unfold in the video above.

2015-06-26-1435358722-4136664-ScreenShot20150626at3.44.57PM.png
via Gold Hairpin Films

H/T BuzzFeed

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3 Reasons Why Cucumber Is Your Skin’s New Best Friend

beauty benefits of cucumber
Photo: Getty Images

Cucumber has a way of making the simplest things better, like a cold glass of water or a sushi roll. But did you know that this produce section staple can also dramatically transform your skin’s health and appearance?

According to dermatologist and psychiatrist Amy Wechsler, cucumber has skincare benefits including vitamin C and caffeic acid, which both fight to reduce inflamed or irritated skin, and hydration thanks to its high water content. The peel itself contains silica, which firms up sagging skin. Wechsler believes even people with the most sensitive skin types can use cucumber to their advantage.

Below are three ways the dermatologist recommends remedying your skin with cucumbers.

1. Calm puffy eyes. For an instant fix, place cool cucumber slices over your eye socket. They will act like little ice packs to relieve puffy lids. “Cucumbers contain flavonoids and antioxidants that decrease swelling, redness and irritation,” said Wechsler. “They also provide a cooling effect that helps shrink dilated blood vessels, therefore reducing the appearance of puffy eyes.”

2. Treat sunburn and irritated skin. The effects of too much sun can get real painful, especially on the butterfly region of the face (forehead, nose, cheeks and chin). Cucumbers are loaded with lots of nutrients like water, potassium, sulfate and vitamins A and C that soothe skin conditions like sunburns, according to Wechsler. Simply place thin slices of cucumber onto your face and lie down for at least 15 minutes. Then remove the slices and apply a light moisturizer.

3. Use as an anti-aging facial mask. Wechsler’s DIY mask calls for half a cucumber, barely puréed, and two tablespoons of plain yogurt. Whip into a thick mixture, apply to your skin and allow it to sit for 15 minutes before cleansing with warm water. “Cucumbers contain vitamin C and caffeic acid, two antioxidants that, when applied to skin, help fend off wrinkles, sun damage and more,” said Wechsler. “Yogurt is an exfoliating agent that works to remove dirt and dead skin cells. When combined with cucumber, which has cleansing properties, it is the perfect hydrating, soothing blend for your skin.”

How do you incorporate cucumbers into your skincare regimen? Tell us in the comments section.


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Religio Medici, Hydriotaphia (Urn Burial), and A Letter to a Friend

Religio Medici, Hydriotaphia (Urn Burial), and A Letter to a Friend


Sir Thomas Browne was a 17th century author who wrote on a wide variety of subjects including medicine, religion, science and the esoteric. He is best known for his work entitled “Religio Medici”, or “The Religion of a Doctor”, which is Browne’s own spiritual testament and an early example of a psychological self-portrait. Published in 1643, shortly after the author had qualified himself to practice medicine, “Religio Medici” became a best-seller throughout the European continent and because of its unorthodox views was admonished by the Catholic Church by being placed on the “Index Librorum Prohibitorum”, or list of prohibited books. While largely an exposition of Christian faith the work meanders into digressions upon alchemy, hermetic philosophy, astrology, and physiognomy. Also included in this edition is “Hydriotaphia, Urn Burial, or a Discourse of the Sepulchral Urns lately found in Norfolk” and “A Letter to a Friend.” The first work revolves around the discovery of a Roman urn burial in Norfolk which Browne uses to discuss ancient and current burial and funerary customs and extends to a greater inquiry of man’s struggles with mortality. The second, which as written in 1656 and published posthumously in 1690, is a medical treatise of case-histories and witty speculations upon the human condition.

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Tracy Morgan Settles With Wal-Mart Over Fatal Crash That Killed Actor’s Friend And Injured Three Others

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) — Actor-comedian Tracy Morgan has settled his lawsuit against Wal-Mart over a New Jersey highway crash that killed one man and left Morgan and two friends seriously injured.

A filing in federal court in Newark on Wednesday refers to a confidential settlement reached by the two sides.

Morgan’s lawyer hasn’t responded to a message seeking comment.

Bentonville, Arkansas-based Wal-Mart Stores Inc. calls it an “amicable settlement.” Details haven’t been disclosed.

A Wal-Mart truck slammed into the back of a limo van carrying Morgan and the others back from a show in Delaware last June. Comedian James “Jimmy Mack” McNair was killed. Morgan suffered head trauma, a broken leg and broken ribs.

Wal-Mart reached a settlement with McNair’s two children in January.

The truck driver, a man from Jonesboro, Georgia, faces several criminal charges, including death by auto, in state court. He has pleaded not guilty. He wasn’t a defendant in Morgan’s federal lawsuit.

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Randy Moss appears at high school graduation to hand diploma to friend

Randy Moss appears at high school graduation to hand diploma to friend
ESPN.com – NFL

Jessica Chastain Had Chris Hemsworth ‘Strip’ at Her Friend’s Birthday, Is the Best Friend Ever

If you're whisking your BFF away for her bachelorette this weekend, I suggest you keep this post away from her to avoid party envy: Jessica Chastain, bless her sweet heart, evidently got Chris Hemsworth to…




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12 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend

Falling in love with your best friend means you’ve pretty much hit the relationship jackpot.

An adorable BuzzFeed video posted Monday highlights all of the wonderful perks of dating your bestie — the playful teasing, the ability to turn even the most mundane tasks into something fun (impromptu NERF gun fight, anyone?) and, of course, being able to talk about anything and everything.

Watch the impossibly sweet video above.

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Thanks to David Letterman, I Have a Wife, Job and Best Friend

2015-05-09-1431194449-242350-Dave1.png

Five words. Just five words: Revolutionary. Hilarious. Mischievous. Subversive. Anarchical.

At age 14, I would have had no idea what four of those words meant, but looking back, that is surely why David Letterman’s short lived 1980 morning show enthralled me. It’s why I have been watching Late Night and Late Show for what? More than 30 years.

Also, at age 14, there’s no way I could have known that the guy giving a canned ham to a monkey washing a cat would be 51 percent responsible for my happy marriage, my career in TV comedy and my cherished friends. Yes. 51 percent. Trust me. I did the math.

I became a Page (think Kenneth from “30 Rock”) at NBC in Rockefeller Center in 1989 for one reason: to get as close as I could to the epicenter of revolutionary mischievous hilarity.

  • I was mesmerized by the absurdity: tossing things off a tall building, just to see them explode.
  • I was mesmerized by the insanity: putting a camera on a monkey’s back just to see the world from a different perspective.
  • I was mesmerized by the anarchy: the total disregard for his employer, GE’s authority. The “GE Handshake” makes me laugh still today.
  • I was mesmerized by the absurd indulgence: Getting Henry Mancini to write the musical introduction to “Viewer Mail.”

As part of my Page duties, during the day, I’d give tours of empty Studio 6A where Late Night was taped. I also sat in Dave’s chair, despite being admonished by my page bosses not to. I threw pencils through the “glass” behind the desk. I sat on the desk, too. In the afternoon, I wandered the halls outside Studio 6A just to get a glimpse of Dave as he headed to and from rehearsal. At the time, he carried a football and obsessively tossed it to himself and others. On a few occasions, I even manned the Studio 6A desk — situated in the hall outside the 6A studio — and handed Dave his dressing room key. On many evenings during my 18 months as a Page at NBC, I also sat the audiences for Late Night.

Just before the show started, Dave would appear to say hello to the audience. He’d crack a few jokes and answer a question or two. Dave had one joke in particular that got a laugh every time he told it. Before someone asked a question, he’d ask “Where are you from?” And regardless of their answer, he’d say: “Oh! By the laundromat.”

Just being around was pretty damn great. But for me, the best part was watching the show. There were a few chairs and some standing room behind the last row of audience chairs. That’s where the Pages sat during the show’s taping. It’s where, by osmosis, I learned the business of revolutionary, hilarious, mischievous, subversive, anarchical comedy.

And, there were a few days when watching the show got trumped by actually being on the show. Now and again, the show would feature one of the NBC Pages in some in-studio comedy segment. And for reasons I don’t know, I got asked a few times. One time, Dave came back from commercial break and on the TV monitors in the studio, instead of Dave sitting at the desk, the channel changed to various celebrities sitting in Dave’s chair — as if someone was changing the channel. Bruce Willis, then Connie Chung, then Fred Savage, among others. Dave shouted that he knew what was wrong and asked the Page to take care of it. The camera turned to the audience and revealed a guy pointing an oversized remote control. My job was to grab the guy and roughly escort him from the studio.

In the blurry screen grab, I was “guarding” one water fountain marked “Dave.” Beside it, another fountain marked “Staff.” While Dave was sitting at the desk, Chris Elliot suddenly appeared and announced his plan to do something no one has ever done… and that it was about time someone did. Chris pushed me out of the way, and drank from the fountain marked “Dave.” When Chris’ applause died down, Dave dismissed him and demanded he take the fake fountains with him.

OK, so it seems clear how Dave influenced my career. Although I was unsuccessful getting hired on Late Night, thankfully Bill Maher was starting up Politically Incorrect, where I spent five years. Now, what about my wife and friend? Well, a few days after I started my job as a Page, another guy started, too. He and I have been fighting about the best way to lose weight three times a week for 25 years. And, about a year after I started as a Page, a pretty girl showed up to start her first day as a Page. The first time I saw her, I knew I would marry her. And I did.

So, thanks Dave for 30 years of revolutionary, hilarious, mischievous, subversive, anarchical comedy. Oh, yeah. And that other junk, too.

Jon Hotchkiss is a TV writer, creator and director. Follow him on Twitter.
Note: Those are his real glasses. Not a comedy prop, despite looking like one.

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6 Ways to Help a Grieving Friend

Recently a friend and colleague of mine lost her husband in a sudden, tragic accident, leaving our entire community stunned with this reminder that life is fragile and fleeting. During the days after the accident I received numerous phone calls and emails from people asking for my advice, wanting to offer their help but having no idea what to do or say.

I realized then that most of us have little experience with loss and grief until we reach our elder years, when it becomes more common to lose our friends and loved ones. So when unexpected loss does occur we feel unprepared and inadequate to be of help, even though we desperately want to do something to show how much we care.

But grief is a universal experience that we ultimately share with every other person on earth. By participating in the grief of another we break down barriers and establish connections that make our families and communities stronger. . When we grieve together we honor the precious and impermanent nature of life on this planet and find an even greater appreciation for our own existence.

Still it is difficult to face our own discomfort with death and offer support to someone who has suffered a loss if we don’t know what to do or say in that situation. Here are some suggestions for offering your help to a grieving friend:

1. Show up.

Offer your friend your presence by going to the home and making yourself available for support. This may sound obvious but many of my grieving patients have told me they were abandoned during this time of need by some of their friends who were too uncomfortable to call, come for a visit or talk to them at work.

TIP: If it feels awkward to just show up at your friend’s home when you don’t know what to say or do, bring along a small gift of food — perhaps a basket of fruit or plate of cookies. Then you have something to offer that will get you inside the door so you can assess the situation. If there are already many relatives around and your friend seems busy with everyone else who is in the room you can simply say “I just wanted to drop this off and let you know I’m thinking about you” and leave fairly quickly. But if your friend is all alone and seems relieved to see you, plan to stay for awhile because your presence may be needed.

2. Listen.

You don’t have to worry too much about what to say, because your grieving friend will primarily need you to listen. Some people who are grieving need to tell their story over and over again, while others may be unable to talk about what has happened. In either case, just sit with your friend and show that you are willing to listen.

You can say something like “I’m so sorry for your loss,” but be sensitive to the situation and pay attention to your friend’s emotions. One of my patients told me that when her mother finally died after a long difficult struggle with dementia she felt relieved and joyful that her suffering had finally ended. When friends told her how sorry they were she felt guilty and embarrassed to tell them about her real feelings.

TIP: You will usually be safe asking questions like “How are you doing?” and “Is there anything I can do to help?” But again, your willingness to listen is the most important gift you can offer.

3. Bring food.

I already mentioned bringing along a small offering of food on your first visit, but food is so important that it deserves a separate listing. People who are grieving find it nearly impossible to plan a meal, go grocery shopping or cook. Often they have little appetite so they are not motivated to seek out healthy food. But nourishment is very important during this difficult process so you can make a big difference for your friend by bringing in healthy meals that can be consumed in small quantities and stored for several days.

Dishes like casseroles and soups or stews are always appreciated and can be reheated multiple times. Also consider healthy snacks like fruit, veggie trays, trail mix, nuts, or yogurt. If there are children in the family bring along some child-friendly snacks like string cheese,

TIP: Be sure to coordinate with others who are bringing in food so that you don’t bring duplicate meals. The website www.mealtrain.com is a helpful tool for organizing food donations. And be sure to use disposable containers that can be put in the freezer and won’t need to be returned to you.

4. Volunteer your time.

Offer to help with tasks such as housecleaning, shopping, laundry, childcare, pet care, transportation or housing for visitors. Your friend may not think to ask you for help even when it is needed, so when you offer, be sure to suggest a few things you are willing to do, especially if you notice there is a need.

TIP: Coordinate multiple volunteers using the www.lotsahelpinghands.com website where you can create a calendar of tasks and everyone can sign up online.

5. Send a letter.

If you cannot be physically present to help your friend, consider sending a special handwritten letter. You might tell a story about a special memory of the deceased loved one and how that person changed your life. This will become a keepsake your friend can cherish and re-read over time.

6. Stay connected.

Remember that the full grief process can take 1 or 2 years or even more so don’t expect your friend to return to “normal.” Be mindful of holidays, special anniversaries and birthdays, which can be particularly painful for the grieving. Offer some extra TLC on those days and consider calling or sending a card or note.

TIP: Surprise your friend with a gift certificate for a restaurant, spa, salon, concert, or movie theatre that can be used as an “emergency” pick-me-up on a difficult day.

Finally, don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends and loved ones when they need you. By taking part in the grief process of others, you provide yourself with an opportunity to “practice” for your own times of grief that will surely come to you in this life. You will find it becomes easier to help others who are suffering and to tolerate your own suffering when you have formed bonds of compassion and support with those around you by offering your help.

It is a unique opportunity to open your heart and share the grief of another. You will be a better person for summoning your courage and walking into a painful situation with open arms and the question “How can I help?”

About the Author:
(Dr. Karen Wyatt is a hospice and family physician and the author of the award-winning book “What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying.” She is a frequent keynote speaker and radio show guest whose profound teachings have helped many find their way through the difficult times of life. Learn more about her work at www.karenwyattmd.com.)

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Supremely Patient Dog Gets A Thorough Checkup From His Toddler Friend

Dog, the doctor will see you now.

In this adorable video, watch as a toddler gives her friend, Neckar the Bull Terrier, a thorough checkup.

The pooch proves to be one patient patient.

dog-checkup

The video was first uploaded to YouTube last month but has enjoyed a viral resurgence this week. The cute clip has been viewed more than 2.2 million times to date.

H/T Viral Viral Videos
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30 Minute PGA Professional Golf Lesson – Take a Friend for Free

30 Minute PGA Professional Golf Lesson – Take a Friend for Free


This compact and effective golf lesson for two is perfect for anyone looking to perfect their swing and spend some time with a golf pro out on the green. During your 30 minute lesson you’ll receive expert tuition and insightful tips from one of your choice of over 100 professionals. You’re sure to find a convenient venue with a wide variety to choose from you won’t have to travel far to learn how to get tee-ing off down to a tee! Your voucher is valid for 10 months for two people. This voucher e

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Erotic Gay Tales 15: My Straight Latino Friend

Erotic Gay Tales 15: My Straight Latino Friend


What exactly is it about the hot straight guy that is so appealing? Is it because you can’t have then, even though he’s smoking hot? Is it the longing and the requited desire? Is the fact that he’s off-limits, as though he were a hunky prince and you were a pauper? In any case, throw in a hot latino straight guy and we got fireworks. Please note that this story contains explicit erotic and sexual content and is intended only for persons over the legal adult age. By downloading and opening this document, you are stating that you are of legal age to access and view this work of fiction. Mature readers only. Reader discretion is advised. This work of fiction is the product of the author’s imagination. Any similarities to real life characters, places and events are unintended and purely coincidental. Please further note that all characters depicted are of legal adult age (at least 21 or older). Excerpt: He withdrew, leaning back. “Dude, are you…are you gay?”I nodded. So the secret was out. I didn’t care that he knew. He was my good friend and it was time for people to know. I was just looking for an excuse and a way to come out to him. And take him along for the ride. His eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open. “Have you…have you ever had sex with a guy?”Yeah,” I admitted, looking directly at him. There was nothing to be ashamed of. There was nothing wrong with being gay. God made me the way I was. He also created gay sex for me to enjoy. The truth was that I had lost my anal virginity the summer before, with a hot Texan cowboy that was twice my age on his ranch in Dallas. And I loved every second of it. Still shocked, there was a hint of intrigue in his eyes. “How do you do it?”I leaned closer, close enough to smell the excitement on him. Excitement mixed with his unique manly musk. He did play on the school’s football team, after all. It was a fragrance of extreme curiosity mixed with a deodorant like Old Spice. It was intoxicating to the male homosexual like me, to say t

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Friend – FREE CAKE – Be my Bridesmaid?- Humor Funny Greeting Card

Friend – FREE CAKE – Be my Bridesmaid?- Humor Funny Greeting Card


5 x 7 Paper Greeting Card
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My Brother’s Best Friend

My Brother’s Best Friend


Kat’s brother has been staying with her for a while after being kicked out of his apartment by his girlfriend. Though she’s happy to have him, the arrangement is more than a little frustrating at times. Her brother is self-centered and inconsiderate, unable to even clean up his own mess. When he invites his friends over to spend the evening in her house without asking first, she is more than a little irritated. It fades slightly when he reveals that, Jason, his best friend, will be joining them. Kat had been secretly in love with Jason while growing up, and the thought of seeing him again after so many years awakens some long forgotten desires. Her brother exits to go fetch snacks at the store, leaving Kat with the house to herself for a while. Enjoying the peace and quiet, she dozes off, only to be woken by a knocking on the door. She knows it has to be Jason, but her nervousness about seeing him again after such a long time prevents her from rushing to the door. When she pulls it open, she finds herself staring at one of the sexiest, handsome men she has ever seen. The sexual attraction is instant, and she has to actively force herself not to reach out and touch him. Still waiting for her brother to show back up, Kat and Jason catch up on all of the things they have missed over the years, and enjoy a few cold beers. A phone call from her brother lets them know that they can stop waiting. He isn’t coming back that evening. Desperate to keep Jason in her house, she offers to play some video games with him, and he eagerly accepts…but with a condition. He wants them to play in a truth or dare fashion. The winner of each round gets to dare the other to do something crazy. Intrigued, Kat accepts. The game starts innocently enough with him forcing her to admit she’s attracted to him, but it doesn’t stay innocent for long. When he dares her to kiss him, things get heated very fast, and Kat finds herself caught up in a whirlwind of pleasure and desire. His sensual whispers a

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‘OITNB’ Set To The ‘Golden Girls’ Theme Thanks Refreshingly Diverse Prisoners For Being A Friend

Here is the “Orange Is The New Black” / “Golden Girls” mashup that the Internet has been subconsciously waiting for since July of 2013. Whether the Regina Spektor intro is kind of catchy or painfully terrible and too long is up for debate, but either way this is better. Thank you for being a friend, refreshingly diverse cast of female prisoners!

Comedy – The Huffington Post
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The Policeman Is Your Friend and Other Lies

The Policeman Is Your Friend and Other Lies


This is a discontinued title offered at a discounted price. Buy now while supplies last. No returns. The sneering cops on the beat, the robotic federal agents, the condescending judges who dole out years of jail time for petty offenses, the narrow-minded teachers who do their best to snuff out creativity and resourcefulness – these are the liars and deceivers of American society who have fastened themselves to our necks like obscene vampires in search of an ongoing supply of free sustenance. They deserve to be exposed, ridiculed, and replaced – and Ned Beaumont has begun this process in this thought-provoking former Loompanics book.
List Price: $ 15.00
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5 Things You Should Never Say To A Newly Engaged Friend

By Kelly Mallory for KnowMore.tv’s GalTime

Whether you’re single, dating, or married, when your friend shares the news about her engagement, it should be a reason to celebrate, not criticize.

Despite the excitement for your newly-engaged friend, sometimes things might slip out of your mouth that may come from a place of jealousy that you wish you could take back. To help you avoid any awkward and potentially hurtful conversations with your friend, we talked to etiquette expert Lizzie Post, co-author of Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette 6th edition, about the top five things you should never say.

1. “That isn’t the ring you wanted!”

Many women have a “dream” engagement ring, which usually details a certain shape, size and cut. If her S.O. picked out the ring, he must have put time and thought into the ring, along with a hefty paycheck.

“It might not be what she was expecting or what you talked about, but it’s still a sentimental and special piece of jewelry, so you need to be respectful of that,” Post says. Now’s the time to focus on the fact that she got engaged, not the fact that the ring isn’t what she told you she wanted.”

2. “He should have said/done [blank] when he proposed.”

A proposal memory will stay with someone for a lifetime, and it can never be repeated. “Clearly your friend is happy about it, so it’s inappropriate to judge or criticize an experience that’s one of the most important ones in her life,” Post explains.

Instead of correcting the way her S.O. proposed, or what he said during the “Will you marry me?” speech, it’s important to see the inherent romantic quality in the proposal and engagement. Holding expectations for proposals and engagements hurts both your friend and the excitement of the engagement.

3. “It’s about time!”

The issue with this phrase is insinuating that your friend is late to the party. “It’s making her feel like she should have done it a long time ago and it’s not special because they’ve been together for so long,” Post explains. Each relationship follows its own timeline, and unless your engaged friend asks for your opinion, you shouldn’t comment on the stage of the relationship.

The same etiquette holds true even if your friend gets engaged after a month of knowing her partner. While it may seem somewhat rash, an engagement isn’t the right time to criticize the development of a relationship.

4. “I’m so single.”

It can be difficult to have your friend’s relationship grow while you’re still without a boyfriend. But a friend’s engagement doesn’t call for a pity party.

“It’s not about you right now,” Post says emphatically. “It can be about you later.” Don’t say something like, ‘I totally thought I would get engaged first; I’m so happy for you, but sad for me.’” Your friend who’s donning the new bling deserves the spotlight instead of shifting the focus to you. Save the single rant for your other single friends.

5. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Saying “yes” to a S.O.’s proposal is an important life decision that already requires a lot of discernment. Placing doubt in your friend’s mind by saying things like ,“Are you sure about this?” or “You sure you don’t want to reconsider?” disregards her opinion.

“Now is not the time to be questioning your friend’s motives or decisions,” Post says. “If you’re truly confused or concerned about the engagement, you can talk about it at a different time, but tread carefully.” Being a friend includes trusting your friend’s judgment and accepting her decision.

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How a Girl Who Stabbed Her Friend to Death Turned Her Life Around – Where Are They Now? – OWN

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Shanae spent much of her youth in foster homes and juvenile detention centers. At age 10, when most girls are playing dress-up, Shanae was drinking and doing drugs. At 11, she was gang-raped and became pregnant. At 12, she was convicted of stabbing her own friend to death. In 2003, after an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, during which she expressed remorse for the murder, Shanae continued to rebel. Watch as the former juvenile delinquent explains why it was a blessing in disguise when her grandmother kicked her and her daughter out of the house.

For more Oprah: Where Are They Now?, visit http://www.oprah.com/WhereAreTheyNow

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Bridesmaid Friend Invitation Via Computer Message Greeting Card

Bridesmaid Friend Invitation Via Computer Message Greeting Card


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Thank You Good Friend, Music Song Greeting Card

Thank You Good Friend, Music Song Greeting Card


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Best Friend Maid of Honor, Wedding Party Invitation, To Do List Greeting Card

Best Friend Maid of Honor, Wedding Party Invitation, To Do List Greeting Card


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The Moment I Knew I Had To Break Up With My Best Friend

By Jean Hanff Korelitz

The author of the page-turning You Should Have Known explains how she knew when her toughest relationship had ended& — and why.

I can barely remember what the argument was about, but I do remember the tiny, irrelevant details: midmorning sun on the extremely white pavement, the smell of some very sweet flower I couldn’t quite identify, someone’s cat watching from a window across the street and the steep decline of the street Molly and I were standing on, which was heading downhill fast, like—not to put too fine a point on it—our friendship. A friendship that had lasted nearly 30 years, but had only moments left to run.

Okay, okay, I do remember what we were arguing about, but now, eight years later, the specifics are so laughably stupid that revealing them makes us both sound like ridiculous children fighting over a bit of colored plastic at the nursery school. The argument was about driving, which I was afraid to do in San Francisco, where Molly lived and where I was visiting. We were fighting about the fact that I had not rented a car at the airport like a normal person, and now Molly would have to drive me somewhere we both wanted to go (which was not the problem), but then she would also have to take me somewhere only I needed to go, and where she did not wish to go (which was very much the problem). On and on it went, only it wasn’t actually an argument, I realized, because I wasn’t saying anything. I was standing still and listening as she harangued and criticized, as I had stood still and listened so many times before.

The pavement. The flower. The watching cat. The steep decline of that San Francisco street.

At some point, I must have realized that I was crying, but that wasn’t the strangest thing. We’d argued so many times over the course of our difficult friendship, and probably I’d cried before, or stalked away feeling sullen and resentful, or rushed to call another friend and complain about how critical and punishing Molly was. There had been so many times, after some cutting remark, that we had temporarily stopped speaking—just long enough for me to remember how much I loved her, and how much she loved me and that she did not intend the things she sometimes said to be unkind. A few weeks or a month or two would pass, and then Molly would be on the phone, letting me know that she was heading to the East Coast, or I would call her to tell her about some great thing I had found at the flea market, and we would proceed.

Then I realized that I was crying because I had figured out that Molly and I were never going to speak to each other again; this time, when she called or emailed me after a month, or six months or a year, I was not going to pick up the phone or email her back. Right now, right here on the street, I was giving up. Finally.

***

We had started our friendship during the first freshman week of college, both of us newly arrived in our so-called adult lives. Molly was beautiful and smart and wildly talented as an artist. I thought she was a superwoman, and she must have felt something similar about me because, for my birthday that year, she drew a cartoon of me amid all of my perceived accomplishments at college: a pen! an oar! a stack of books! It was a glowing, idealized version of me, and I loved it. It also led to our first major fight.

I had loaned her some money. Some time later, and short of money, myself, I asked for it back. Perhaps, she suggested, while furiously writing me a check, she ought to deduct the cost of art supplies for my birthday gift. We didn’t speak for the next three years.

Then we tried again, reuniting, with relief, after graduation, as if college—not the intersection of our personalities—had been to blame. I had gone abroad to study, returning with the man I would marry. She was living in New York, working in advertising, but not on the creative side where she belonged; instead, her smarts and
competence began to take her deeper and deeper into a marketing career she could never make peace with, let alone love. She met a co-worker and moved west with him. In 1987, she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. The following year, I was matron of honor in hers.

So far so good, right? Two women who loved and admired each other, who wanted happiness and success for each other, who were living on opposite sides of the country with their new husbands—mine liked her, hers liked me—but were closely in touch, nonetheless. I must have left something out, right?

I have left a few things out.

For example, the anxiety she had struggled with since childhood. The intense self-focus that arose from that anxiety. The constant negativity and criticism. Sometimes, she showed such cruelty in the way she spoke about other people (a mutual acquaintance, a stranger on the street, a celebrity, or me) that I thought she could not possibly realize what she was saying. “Oh I can’t believe you have that bag.That is just disgusting,” she announced once, at a dinner party. She meant the 30-year-old Hermès Kelly handbag I had just bought on eBay, after having pined for one for more than a year. There was a moment of stunned silence in the room. I sat very still, as always, embarrassed (for her? for myself?) and trying to move past the comment. She loved me, I knew that. But her habit of wounding me so casually—what did it mean?

Still, no cutting remark directed at another person came close to the criticism she leveled at herself. Molly could take no pleasure in her accomplishments, her beauty, her strong marriage. There were many times I would hang up the phone in despair over her crushing unhappiness. I couldn’t fix it and she didn’t want it to be fixed, so we were both frozen in place.

***

Why did it take so long? I wonder now. Was it because she had been my “best friend” for so long, because we had so much history, we had been “through so much” together? Maybe I knew how important our long friendship was to her, and worried that withdrawing from it would give her new ammunition with which to beat up on herself. Maybe I was just pathetic and weak, and took it for years because I couldn’t stick up for myself. Maybe all of this was true.

I’m a novelist by trade, but every one of us conjures a story for the people in our lives: his terrible childhood, her inability to trust, this child’s yearning for stability. My narrative for Molly was that she was so encased in her own suffering that she truly did not experience her anger and need for control as real…but eventually a great and happy day would come when she would accept that she was all of the things I plainly saw—stunning and smart and talented and deserving of love—and how much happier and more at ease in her own life she would be then! I believed that for years. I persuaded myself of that for years.

Until, that day in San Francisco, when I found that I no longer had it in me to keep this fiction alive. I suppose these epiphanies happen all the time, to people everywhere. One moment, you’re listening to the same internal justifications you’ve listened to countless times before; the next moment, you have passed through some unseen membrane, and from the other side you can suddenly hear yourself think—with crystal clarity: Oh, I understand. I’m done.

For months afterward, I talked about Molly incessantly, compulsively, with people who had known us both and with people who’d never met her. Did I do the right thing? I asked everyone. What should I have done? I wish I’d known, while it was actually happening on that San Francisco sidewalk, that I’d be okay, that I’d slowly move forward in my life
with other friends, some of whom had never met or even heard of Molly. That I’d celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary without her, and she—I suppose—would do the same without me. That a few months later, I’d be able to see the entire arc of our friendship, from its beginnings through its trials to its conclusion, and with that perspective would come a return of the vast affection I had always felt for her.

Even now, I truly and sincerely want her to be successful, fulfilled and surrounded by people who love her as much as I loved her, but who are also better equipped to tolerate what I had not been able to tolerate. Sometimes, old friends and family members ask me if I miss Molly, and the answer is yes, I miss her very much. But I don’t miss the friendship. I don’t miss the friendship at all.

Jean Hanff Korelitz is the author of You Should Have Known, The White Rose and A Jury of Her Peers.


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Friend, Chinese New Year, 2011, Year of the Rabbit Greeting Card

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Wedding Guest Book Attendant Invitation for Friend, Beautiful White Rose and Blue Greeting Card

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Can You Share a Bed with a Male Friend? – Mom’s Got Game – Oprah Winfrey Network

Tune in for All-New Episodes Saturdays at 10/9c.
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Pam’s girlfriends can’t understand why she lets her “manny” Jay sleep in the bed with her if they are “just friends.” Pam insists their relationship is platonic but her girlfriends think romance may be in their future.

To learn more about Mom’s Got Game, click here –
http://www.oprah.com/own/Moms-Got-Game-About-the-Show

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Bridesmaid Best Friend Invitation Via Computer Message Greeting Card

Bridesmaid Best Friend Invitation Via Computer Message Greeting Card


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