Mom of Woman Killed in Horrific Limo Crash Alongside Boyfriend Speaks Out: ‘There’s Nothing Worse’

When she heard news about the horrific limousine accident that left 20 dead in upstate New York on Saturday afternoon, Martina Wieblitz Halse desperately tried to contact her daughter, Amanda Halse, who she knew was traveling with a large group in that same area.

Martina and her daughter, Karina Halse, repeatedly texted and called Amanda, but with each message sent and number dialed, their attempts went unanswered.

Then, their worst fears were realized when an investigator appeared at their door.

“I don’t even know what injuries she had,” Martina tells PEOPLE of finding out Amanda, 26, was in the limo when it crashed. “They told me that they took her out of the limousine and put her in an ambulance to go to the hospital and she still had a heartbeat.”

Amanda ultimately died from her injuries, which she suffered as she was celebrating her friend Amy Steenburg’s 30th birthday on October 6. The group of friends were in a limo that failed to stop at a T-intersection in the rural town of Schoharie in upstate New York. The limo flew into a nearby parking lot and crashed into an unoccupied SUV, killing the driver and all 17 passengers. The accident also claimed the lives of two pedestrians, who were struck by a parked SUV after it was slammed into by the limo.

“It’s terrible. I lost my baby. I last saw her the week before on a Saturday,” Martina says. “There’s nothing, nothing worse than this.”

RELATEDCouple Killed in Limo Crash Were ‘Amazing Parents:’ They Were Devoted to Their Kids’

Martina, who is paralyzed, says she she saw a lot of herself in her daughter, Amanda, including her love of arts and crafts. Because of Martina’s condition, Amanda would spend time helping her mother tend to the flowers in her garden. The two had initially planned to go to a fall festival on Sunday, after Amanda returned from her trip with her friends.

“She was way too young ,” Martina says through tears. “She was such a kind person, everybody loved her.”

Amanda also shared a close relationship with her siblings.

“I am hanging in there. Taking it one step at a time,” says Amanda’s sister, Karina. “I feel a sense of strength when I talk about my sister so I believe she is helping me through this, but overall, I feel empty, devastated and just sad.”

During the drive, Amanda had been accompanied by her boyfriend, Patrick Cushing, 31, who was also killed in the crash.

“Patrick was such a passionate and good-hearted person. He had such empathy and kindness,” his brother, Justin Cushing, tells PEOPLE.

Patrick was a gifted athlete and played dodgeball for Team USA, Justin says, but most of all, he deeply loved those closest to him.

“He loved, hugged and cried with his friends and family like their problems were his,” he explains. “ celebrated with those same family and friends like our successes were his personal goals.”

RELATED4 Sisters, Their Husbands, Newlyweds & Parents Among 20 Killed in Tragic Limo Crash

While he was passionate about photography and sports, Patrick was also devoted to his role as a godparent to Adam and Abigail Jackson’s two young daughters, Archer, 4, and 16-month-old Ellie.

“He took it like he was an adopted third parent,” Justin says. “He kept her pictures in his phone to show off like they were his own.”

Adam and Abigail also lost their lives in the crash, which is still under investigation. A GoFundMe page has been set up to provide for their daughters, which has raised more than $ 65,000.

With nearly two dozen people lost in the accident, the pain of the tragedy is felt far and wide. For Justin, who served as best man for Adam in his wedding to Abigail, the devastation is unimaginable.

“I lost my two best friends in this, in my brother and Adam. I lost my cousin in Erin ,” he says. “This was all so hard to write and I’m shaking knowing I’m missing something important to his life.”


PEOPLE.com

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Gomez: Nothing random about MLB drug testing

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Abba have ‘nothing to prove’ with new songs, says Benny Andersson

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Kim Kardashian Confused By Steve Harvey Dig That She ‘Didn’t Know Nothing’

“I feel like the more I talk about it I get so angry.”
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Brown: Celts have ‘nothing to lose’ in Game 7

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Steve Harvey: Kim Kardashian ‘Didn’t Know Nothing’ On ‘Family Feud’

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RB Bell to play, but nothing ‘extra’ without deal

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Portugal. The Man, Nothing More, Greta Van Fleet Prove There’s Still Life in Rock Music

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Giannis’ superstar persona will look nothing like LeBron’s

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Conan O’Brien Drives Tom Cruise Around To Discuss Nothing

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Madison Parker Says Her Breakup With Aaron Carter Had “Nothing to Do With Him Being Bisexual”

Madison Parker, Aaron Carter Madison Parker is setting the record straight on her breakup with Aaron Carter.
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Joanne Froggatt on ‘Downton Abbey’ Movie: ‘Nothing Has Happened’

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After Knowing Nothing About Beyoncé’s Twins, We Now Know Everything

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West Elm Just Dropped a New Collection That Has Nothing to Do with Furniture (But It’s Still Amazing)

Some couples are just meant to be.

Modern furniture go-to West Elm and trendy luggage brand Away have teamed up to give style-savvy jetsetters the collaboration they didn’t know they needed — and obviously can’t live with out: a limited edition line of suitcases guaranteed to turn heads at the airport.

RELATED: These Are the Best, Smartest, Most Rugged Carry-Ons According to Travel Experts

WATCH THIS: Why Didn’t We Think of These?! HSN Star Joy Mangano Gives 6 Smart Packing Tips

 

Available in carry-on, “bigger” carry-on, medium and large, and offered in platinum and brass colors — inspired by the metals in West Elm’s newest collections — these chic travel cases will have you covered for any size of trip. Ranging from just 7 pounds for the smallest to 9.9 pounds for the largest, the lightweight beauties enable more outfit options and less worry about overage charges.

BUY IT!: Away Suitcase in Brass, starting at $ 225.00; westelm.com

Buy it!: Away Suitcase in Platinum, starting at $ 225.00; westelm.com

RELATED: Fireworks Flying! See the Most Romantic Celeb Vacations Where Stars Celebrated Engagements, Honeymoons, and More

With a hard shell that bends, but never breaks (for those tough-to-close packing moments), separate compartments for clothes and other essentials, a built-in battery with a USB port to charge your devices on the go and spinner wheels for smooth mobility while running to the gate, this high-tech luggage is the ultimate airport companion.

The only thing left to decide now: Where to next?


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William Levy Takes His 7-Year-Old Daughter to Her First Dance and It’s Nothing Short of Adorable

William Levy, Kailey LevyOur hearts just melted!
William Levy proudly took his 7-year-old daughter Kailey to her first dance and it just so happened to be her school’s father-daughter dance.
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Police Brutality Set Off The L.A. Riots 25 Years Ago. We’ve Learned Nothing Since.

Go watch the video of Rodney King being beaten. Really watch it. You’ll see eight brutal minutes of an unarmed black man being kicked, clubbed, and tasered within an inch of his life by LAPD officers ― men sworn to protect and serve.

When the clandestinely shot video of King’s beating came out in 1991, it sent shockwaves throughout the entire country, sparking a conversation about racial bias and police brutality. The four police officers charged in the King beating were acquitted, and the city saw one of the most destructive riots in American history. 

April 29th will mark the 25th anniversary of the LA riots, 25 years since a mirror was held up to the face of America and revealed a grotesque reflection. Anniversaries are about looking back. They are about legacy. But what is the legacy of the three days of carnage that ensued back then, sending much of Los Angeles into a deluge of violence, looting, and burning buildings? 

In their new National Geographic documentary “LA92,” filmmakers T.J. Martin and Daniel Lindsay go in-depth to explore the legacy of the riots, forgoing the usual talking heads and experts and using only raw, unedited archival footage, leaving it up to the audience to make up their minds about the meaning of the riots. 

There’s a moment in the documentary, one day into the deluge, where a Korean shop owner defiantly defends her store from a band of black and Latino looters.

“This is America!” She screams at the crowd. “This is America!”

The moment, is the film, and the riots themselves, in microcosm. In other words ― the riots were complicated, and messy. They weren’t just black-and-white. The underlying tensions weren’t just about the beating, but the racist justice system that allowed the cops to go free and, just a year earlier, Korean shop owner Soon Ja Du to go free in the senseless killing of Latasha Harlins

I spoke with T.J. Martin and Dan Lindsay about what they learned about the riots in retelling this story on film ― and what America has yet to learn. 

HuffPost: The film opens and closes with black-and-white footage from the Watts Riots on 1965, which juxtapose in such a stunning way with the LA Riots which took place decades later. There’s this sense of history repeating itself. Why do you think this keeps happening ― the beatings and killings of unarmed black folk, and the subsequent unrest?

Dan Lindsay: Our country has never reconciled the inherent contradictions of its founding. The people that wrote the document that said all men are created equal owned human beings. That’s just mind-blowing. As a country, we’ve never been able to reconcile that. And as long as we continue to have marginalized communities that don’t have a voice, as long as that happens, you shouldn’t be surprised if uprisings or unrest happen. It’s happened throughout all human history, throughout all of the world, from the same circumstances.

HP: The film is derived entirely from archival footage of news broadcasts, court videos, aerial footage and so on. What was the reasoning behind that, and what was the process like to organize all those hours of footage into a cohesive narrative? 

T.J. Martin: We wanted to take a unique approach that would maybe inspire a unique perspective, and ultimately create a new way of thinking about these events. We didn’t want the the filter of an expert telling you what you think. It was less about deconstructing the anatomy of the events. It became much more immersive as an experience.

DL: We wanted to challenge the audience to begin thinking about these things, to have conversations, to ask the question: What do we need to do to make it so this never happens again? Because clearly we tend to have these cycles of things. We deal with it for a little bit, then everybody goes back to their lives.

HP: There are a lot of interesting moments with the media in this film, little vignettes where we see anchors right before going live, adjusting their hair and doing their makeup before launching into somber broadcasts. What do you think the role of the media was, and continues to be, in conversations about police brutality?

DL: That was a really intentional device because we had concerns that, not all of this, but a lot of this, was created by the media. The media was complicit in creating the events that led to this. We wanted to find a way to imply the idea and that was showing the getting ready. It indicates the facade of the media. It’s presentation. It’s business as usual. To us, that’s representative of America. We have this facade, this image we sell, that we don’t necessarily live up to. 

HP: It’s been 25 years since the riots, and while we haven’t had anything as destructive as that happen again ― there’s a sense that it’s only a matter of time. What, to you, is the legacy of the riots?

 T.J.:  I think what came out of it was for a short moment, an engaged conversation on race and class. But that same short engaged moment of conversation happened after 65 Watts. That same short engaged moment of conversation happened during the race riots in Detroit. These spurts operate as fads. It’s a symptom and also an extension of the problem. I don’t know about legacy. To me I just think of [the L.A. riots] as one chapter of an ongoing story.

 HP: What’s stopping us from bringing this story to a close then?

T.J.: We haven’t figured out the tools of how to talk about this thing where it becomes a constructive conversation. The moment you bring up race and class, it becomes a debate. But it’s not about a debate. There are marginalized communities. This is real. 

DL: But we’re trying to activate the audience’s own realization of these things, right? Near the end of the film, you see Bill Clinton watching Bush give his address after the riots, and you realize the riots were at least part of what made Clinton president. And then you think of today, when you hear phrases like “law and order,” the [fear-mongering], and then Trump becomes president. It’s our collective society’s reaction to things, these shifts. 

HP: There are moments in this film that are difficult to watch ― the looting of businesses, especially Korean-American businesses. The beating of the white truck driver Reginald Denny. When we talk about riots and unrest, there’s always criticism about rioters destroying their own communities, or resorting to violence instead of peace. What would be your reaction to someone who saw this film and felt the black and Latino rioters weren’t justified in their acts?

T.J.: If anyone were to come with that type of argument, they are neglecting the visceral violence that happened to Rodney King. What we try to do, at the very least, is set context. King just happened to have a video. These atrocities, these abuses of power have been happening since the birth of the country. So by isolating members of a community (who were rightfully so angry) and dismissing 400 years of horrible treatment of one specific community…. that alone is an unfair analysis of the situation, period. We are not watching the same movie.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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Nothing Beets ‘The Office’ Prank This Woman Pulled On A Tinder Match

Fact: Even Jim Halpert would be proud of a prank this masterful. 

Over the weekend, a woman named Caroline from Cleveland, Ohio, tweeted out a very special conversation she had with a guy she met on Tinder. 

“Yesterday I convinced a boy that I am a beet farmer by using quotes from ‘The Office,’” the Kent State University freshman wrote on Twitter.

Caroline mined material from Dwight Schrute, everyone’s favorite Scranton-based, beet-loving paper salesman:

Nate was intrigued… (And clearly a good sport for engaging with a Tinder match this beet obsessed.)

From there, Caroline took it to the next level: 

As of now, Caroline’s tweet has racked up over 18,000 retweets and spurred on some equally hilarious responses: 

The good news is, no one’s feelings were hurt here. Caroline told BuzzFeed that once the tweet went viral, she messaged Nate to let him know she was not, in fact, a beet farmer. 

“It was all in good fun,” she said. “He thought it was hilarious and that it was cool that it was getting so many retweets.”

Hey, we think she’d have Jim’s approval on this one. 

The Huffington Post reached out to Caroline for comment but did not hear back at the time of publication. 

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Why the Word SIMPLE Tells Me Absolutely Nothing About What You Want for Your Wedding – A Rant

SIMPLE is probably my least favorite word in the bridal vocabulary. What does it mean when a bride says she wants a SIMPLE wedding? That tells me absolutely nothing. I’m a wedding planner, not a psychic! 2016-04-26-1461699237-4796847-110813_SandyMalonePortraits201640x427.jpg

Just so we’re all clear on this, Merriam-Webster explains the word SIMPLE as having three primary definitions:

Not hard to understand or do
Having few parts, not complex or fancy
Not special or unusual

I have never met a bride or groom who didn’t want their wedding to be “special,” and regardless of what kind of wedding the couple chooses, rarely will it have “few parts” and be “not hard” to do. But even if the true definition of SIMPLE is what the bride and groom want, the word still tells me absolutely nothing about their vision of their wedding day.

To make sure I wasn’t missing something, I dug a little deeper for the extended definition of the word SIMPLE:

Free from guile
Free from vanity
Free from ostentation or display
Of humble origin or modest position
Lacking in knowledge or expertise
Stupid
Not socially or culturally sophisticated

You get my point now, right? SIMPLE is probably the most overused word in weddings, while at the same time, its definition absolutely, positively does not apply to what the bride and groom are describing. A wedding is a “display” of your love, although it doesn’t have to be ostentatious. And nobody wants their wedding to be considered “not socially or culturally sophisticated” even if they’re DIYing every part of it! And let’s not pretend there’s not a little vanity in mind. Otherwise, brides wouldn’t spend so much on wedding gowns, shoes, hair and makeup. Your wedding day is one of the only days you’re allowed to be vain without feeling bad about it!

I believe most couples use the word SIMPLE when they mean easy and low stress – but wedding planners have to figure out what they’re describing. Some couples mean they’re not going to do fancy décor, or invite a lot of people. Telling a wedding planner that you want a SIMPLE wedding doesn’t give them enough information to estimate a budget or give you recommendations. Using a non-descriptive word like SIMPLE when talking about a wedding does a massive disserve to the couple and their vendors.

Some brides and grooms use the word SIMPLE as a synonym for inexpensive, and that’s not usually true. In fact, sometimes the things that look like the simplest choices are actually quite time-consuming and expensive to execute.

There’s a better way to describe what you need and want for your wedding to your vendors, and it involves using a LOT of adjectives.

  • When you start planning your wedding, think about what you really want in terms of details for your big day. Think color, texture, vibe – and write those things down. Do you have a particular theme in mind? Whether it’s a “Frozen” Winter Wonderland, or a tropical island paradise, the theme will dictate some of the colors you use, and style of display.
  • 2016-04-26-1461700105-7226675-JessicaandDavebouquetandflowercrown.jpg

  • Do you want a lot of candlelight? Or elaborate flower arrangements? Or both? How do you picture the lighting – will fairy lights on the tent and in the trees suffice, or do you want to create a more vintage feel with the bulbs of Italian lights strung throughout your event? For a modern wedding, you’ll probably want colorful uplighting, and maybe some designs. Nowadays, you can have pretty much anything you want, as long as you can afford it. The more elaborate you get, the more expensive it will be.
  • Use pictures to show what you like. It doesn’t have to be a picture of what you want exactly. It’s fine to say “this is the cake I want, except I don’t want the designs on the sides,” or “just like this but with three tiers, stripes on two tiers, and sugar flowers in more colors.” For choosing flowers, you can show your florist three different bouquets and explain that you like the colors in one, the shape of another, and the way the stems are wrapped in the third. A good wedding vendor will tell you what they need to do to create the look you want for your wedding day based on everything you show them.
  • 2016-04-26-1461699611-3233967-tracyandjeffcaketable.JPG

  • Consider the way you want your guests to feel at your wedding. Do you want things to feel very formal? Or do you prefer a more relaxed atmosphere with less structure? These are the things that will help determine whether you do a seated/plated meal with place cards, or a free for all with food stations that stay open for an extended period while your guests dance, mix, and mingle. Tell your caterer what you have in mind so they can recommend the best food options for your budget and vision.
  • Music plays a big role in the event, too. Tell your wedding planner what kind of wedding reception you want to have. For a party feel, you have to play party music. You’ll probably want something lower key during cocktails and dinner, but maybe not if you’re doing stations instead of asking all your guests to be seated at one time. A live band can do a lot to reinforce a theme – calypso music for something tropical or zydeco for a Mardi Gras celebration, for example – but you can do the same with a DJ as long as you create a fantastic playlist. Remember to choose songs your guests will want to dance to or the party won’t get started easily. Ask your wedding planner for suggestions. If you can’t afford live music all night, maybe you can afford a guitar trio or jazz quartet for cocktails and dinner, and then switch it up later in the evening.

Some couples are crazy-easy to work with because they’re super descriptive about their wants and needs. We did a neon wedding for two brides, and even dyed the flowers. Another bride wore a fantastic designer gown with a skirt that lit up when the reception started, and the lights went down, so we created a light-themed wedding reception with black lights, glow necklaces, glasses and bracelets. And I’ve tied enough burlap and lace around vases for “vintage” weddings that I could do it with my eyes closed.

Your wedding planner and wedding vendors want you to be happy on your wedding day, and that means we have to deliver as promised and help you execute your own vision of your big day. We don’t have crystal balls – although I wish we did. We can’t read your mind. If you want something, you have to tell us about it. Describe what you have in mind, and send us pictures if you have them. A wedding planner’s ability to create your dream wedding depends, first and foremost, on your ability to explain what kind of wedding you want, in detail.

Until next time, happy wedding planning from Sandy Malone Weddings & Events!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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‘My Husband Does Nothing In This Marriage And I Do Everything’

Reader Fed Up writes,

I have been married for 20 years and had on-going issues with my husband that are, to me, related to our roles and responsibilities. It has affected our sex life for a long time because I feel stressed, resentful and overwhelmed a lot. My low libido and lack of desire, according to my husband, are the reasons for our troubled marriage. He doesn’t believe that I love him and has accused me of cheating many times, even though I never have.

I have always worked full time, and put myself through school to obtain my master’s degree. I like my job, but would have worked part time at any point to have more time for my two kids. (Some time for myself would be nice too.) I have never been able to work part-time because we can’t afford for me to do so. My husband has been through many jobs, and had his own business for a decade, which didn’t make much money. In fact it cost us money quite often. But I have tried to be supportive and encouraged him to pursue his passions.

In addition to working full-time,   I have had the bulk of the domestic responsibilities too. He will do bigger projects that I really can’t do (he’s physically strong and quite handy), but often those projects take forever or are left incomplete. Yard work, housework, paying bills, cooking, groceries, child care and household routines have all fallen to me most of the time.

I ask for help, thank him when he does help, don’t complain about how anything is done, make lists to help him remember, ask what he would like to do, etc but nothing sticks. He either doesn’t see what needs to be done, has a reason why he can’t help, or is distracted so he forgets or ignores me. I end up nagging or doing it all and feeling angry. In spite of this and what he thinks, I still love him, still find him attractive, want our marriage to survive and I want us both to be happy.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD 15 years ago, during treatment for a serious bout of depression (he was suicidal, hospitalized and received ECT). He has not been to counselling since but we both saw his psychiatrist during that time.

We haven’t had counseling as a couple even though I have asked many times. I have been a few times for myself and feel I have looked at my part in our dynamic closely. I have a helping personality, want to please others and tend to take on too much – then I get frustrated when it is not reciprocated. 

I also understand that much of his inattentive, distracted and impulsive behavior (which was perceived as carefree and spontaneous at first) is related to his ADHD as he doesn’t take his medication regularly. When he does take it, we fight less and he is much more attentive and focused. But it doesn’t last because he forgets to renew his prescription, or says it doesn’t make a difference because I still don’t desire him like I did when we were first together. (Yes, I have told him about monotogamy.)

We have had good times over the past 20 years and have two amazing kids who need both of us. I am worried about what we are teaching them about how respectful relationships work. I can’t get him to see that I don’t want to be in control of him, I just want him to be my partner in all aspects of our lives. The good, the bad and the mundane. I don’t want to be a martyr, or a care-taker any more. I am exhausted. If he won’t go to counseling and won’t manage his ADHD, am I just prolonging a doomed relationship by trying so hard?

 

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Dear FU (thought the moniker initials I gave you could help you vent some of your anger at your husband),

First of all, your situation and feelings are very common in spouses of individuals with ADHD.  You are not alone (my husband has ADHD too actually, though not this severe), and I highly recommend The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps to help you see that your feelings are shared by many others.  The upshot of this book is that it is really important for the ADHD partner to own his part in the problem and take medications as necessary.  Couples counseling is also essential for dealing with this, and here is something I wrote on how to convince your partner to go to couples counseling.

The number one thing that makes a difference with ADHD is medication, as you said yourself.  But if he won’t take the meds, his behavior is fairly normal for ADHD, unfortunately for you and all spouses of individuals with ADHD.  Forgetting tasks, procrastinating, defensiveness, and blame are all par for the course with untreated ADHD.  But you know this better than I do, so it’s really time that we concentrate on you and how you can remain in this marriage without being consumed by bitterness, resentment, and anger.

There are some ways I can think of to ease your burden with household responsibilities.  I am sure from what you’ve said that you tend to save money for your kids and just for your own piece of mind.  I would prioritize your mental health and hire some household help with that money.  Even if it’s a bimonthly cleaning and yard service.  

If your kids would rather you spend this money on them and their activities, then the housework and yard work can fall to them as chores.  I hereby command you not to ever again do 100% of the housework in an entire week.  That is just ridiculous and unfair. You work full time, so you definitely need help with these things, and your husband cannot be relied upon.

I know you and other readers may think this sounds absurd, but honestly, how is it different than where you’re at now?  Without counseling or an epiphany of some sort, your husband has about zero chance of doing any house or yard work in a timely fashion, at least without you nagging him.  

So it’s really this choice: do you want to have him do nothing and fight about it, or do you want to have him do nothing and accept it and not fight about it?  Also in this latter case, you actually get stuff done, because you hire people to do it.  I think it’s a no brainer.  What it’s really called is acceptance, and I’ll get to more about that in a bit.

I would recommend that you seek individual intensive counseling to address your tendency to take on too much and then be angry when it’s not reciprocated.  When did this same pattern crop up in your childhood?  Why does it feel familiar to you to give and give and get nothing in return?  Was there a parent or sibling with whom you had this same dynamic, where you gave them whatever they needed and got very little back, and were always disappointed?  I would imagine this is the case, or else you would not have stayed in this marriage for 20 years.

The idea behind imago therapy (read Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples for more on this) is that you are attracted to a partner because, unconsciously, they have both the positive and negative traits of one of your caregivers. At first (and this is particularly true for ADHD partners because of their wonderful courtship phase when they are hyperfocused on you) you only see the positive traits, but subconsciously, you’re seeing the negative ones too, and that’s what hooks you in and makes you feel “in love.”  Then, your fantasy is to change this person into the caregiver you always wanted and never got.

In your case, I would assume you had a caregiver that could be charming, loving, and carefree but also could be self centered, unreliable, and irresponsible.  The fantasy as a child would be to have a more reliable and emotionally present caregiver, but a child cannot change their parent in this way.  

So you grew up and were attracted to a man that embodied all of these traits, the good and the bad, and then made it your life’s work to make him more reliable, responsible, and giving.  There are multiple problems with this.  First of all, it doesn’t work, as you have experienced. Second of all, your husband is always feeling (correctly!) that you want to change him and that you don’t love him as he is.  So he becomes even more recalcitrant and digs in his heels even more, not wanting to lose his dignity by changing for a woman that doesn’t even seem to accept and love him in the first place.

Moreover, I believe it is highly possible that you witnessed this caregiver/martyr/enabler and irresponsible spouse dynamic in your own home growing up.  Was one parent always making excuses for the other, enabling them to be irresponsible and not do their share of the work around the home and family?  

It is essential to explore why this martyr role is familiar to you, going back before you even met your husband. This is tough work, because in your situation, I am sure all friends and family see your husband’s behavior as pretty horrible, and all empathize with you for doing everything yourself.  

So you’ll have to take a step back and reflect on what about you makes you drawn to this dynamic, and what you need to work on personally (giving too much is one thing that you said; what about also liking to be “the good one”?  Did you experience this dynamic ever, possibly with a sibling?  Were you the oldest or the most responsible?)

After all of this reading, introspection, and therapy, what else can lead you out of this conundrum?  If your husband refuses to go to couples work, you can do the following.  First, accept that he is who he is (the outsourcing of the house and yard stuff is part and parcel of this idea).  

Next, love him in the way he needs to be loved.  You say you love him now, but he says he doesn’t feel it.  If he’s complaining about the sex, then likely his love language is physical touch, and there are ways for you to work on strengthening your libido so you may be able to be more present and enthusiastic in bed.

Also, make a conscious decision to be happy. Look, you could be a single mom and have to do all the same housework you are doing now, without the small help of whatever money he does make and whatever effort he does put in around the house.  And if you were in that position, would you definitely say, “Oh yes, I should certainly be unhappy and feel martyred”?  No, you would try to look on the bright side, and you would accept what you had to do and do it.  So don’t let his presence in your life make you unhappy.  

I know this is hard to do, but you must take ownership for your own actions and happiness. Nobody can make you feel unhappy in the long run.  Sure, people can offend and hurt you a few times, but after that, you are choosing to remain in the situation and therefore you ought to try and make the best of it.  (More on if this is impossible in a bit.)

Do NOT do these things, any of them, with the secret hope that he is going to change in response to you changing.  Yes, this would be nice, but it cannot be your goal, because then everything you do will be done from a disingenuous tit-for-tat emotional place, and not out of genuine love and the desire to make the marriage work.  He will sense it, and he will be suspicious, rightly so.  You have to unconditionally love and accept him, and see if this changes your outlook. It may.

Your next step is to communicate to him everything I am advising you to do.  Openly tell him,

“Look, I really wish we could go to marriage counseling, but I’m working on accepting that you don’t want to go.  So instead, I am working on being more accepting, loving, and present in this marriage.  That is why I am hiring some people to help with housework; not to be passive aggressive and hope that you’ll be spurred into doing stuff if you see them here (note: make sure this is true!) but because I have realized that nagging you to do stuff and being angry when you don’t isn’t who I want to be or the dynamic I want to be in.  I am also going to try to love you the way that you need, like in bed, because I have realized I may not be walking the walk when I want you to do stuff that makes me feel loved but then I don’t do stuff that makes you feel loved, like being into sex with you.  Hopefully, the changes I make will have a positive effect on us and I will feel less overwhelmed, less angry, and more loving, and you will too.”

Now let’s say you do everything I say for a good length of time, like six months, and he still acts rude, forgetful, blaming, and so forth.  You have accepted that he is who he is, you love it, you’re having sex, you’re in counseling, and the whole nine yards.  And you’re still unhappy, angry, resentful, and secretly wanting him to change and being mad when he doesn’t.  Well, then it is time to answer this question: Can you ever feel truly whole, happy, loved, and loving in this partnership?  If not, you will have some tough decisions to make about whether to stay.  But you will know that you did your best, and your best involved listening to me, the best advice giver on the internet.

Good luck and I hope you notice that I gave you a really thoughtful and detailed answer because I really feel for you and I also sense that you’re a person who has the capacity to introspect and make your situation more tenable and happier (I think it’s pretty classy to point out how awesome my own answer is).  I have faith in you and I think you’ll be at a different and better place in a few months. Till we meet again, I remain, Your Devoted Blogapist Who Says, Seriously, Read Up On ADHD.

This post was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom. Follow Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Order her book, How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family.

This blog is not intended as diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and should not replace consultation with your medical provider.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Weddings – The Huffington Post
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A Man Lost 70 Pounds in 100 Days by Eating Nothing but Potatoes

Horrifying. 

Lifestyle – Esquire

SHOPPING NEWS UPDATE:


How Nothing But Junk Food Helped One Man Lose Weight

Everything, including donuts, in moderation.

Lifestyle – Esquire

SHOPPING DEALS UPDATE:


There is Nothing Dead in This Grandiose Former Funeral Establishment of the City of Paris.

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Art Galore.

The 104, as it is called, spelled out in French as Le Centquatre-Paris, is a multimedia art center partly funded by the city of Paris. Located in a vast compound of gigantic halls and structures, it houses dance floors, exhibit halls, stores, libraries, workshop classes and stages. Calling itself an artistic and cultural factory, the place is geared towards public service — Art as a public service is definitely a great concept!

On any given day a buzz of artists, dancers, yogis, actors, painters, sculptors, fill the cavernous space with laughter and life. Visitors pop up at the arts library, shoppers stroll through the Emmaus thrifstore. It’s at the same time neighborhoods hang-out for young skaters, and an elite art space for openings and happenings.

Its success is real and tangible. You can witness art in various forms glow right under your eyes, and see how art really is a street expression in its best form. Over 60 percent of the performing artists at the 104 are not French.

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The fall schedule of exhibition is heavy with many new shows coming up: dance performances, visual arts, circus acts, theater and music fests. Solo acts or ensemble pieces, no matter what month you are able to go, several art forms will be on display or happening, including a ball in April open to all. About 50 artists in residence are planned to offer their creations for the 2015-2016 season.

An official opening was held Sept. 26 to present the 25,000 square feet of available galleries and open spaces to the public for the new season. On Oct. 3, a Nuit Blanche (White Night) is planned, when the space will stay open all night. The calendar is so full of events that it would be impossible to see and hear everything offered to each senses.

Les Pompes-Funèbres : From Death to Life.

Located on the site of a former municipal undertaker, the name comes from the original entrance’s address, at 104 rue d’Aubervilliers. This was not the mom and pop funeral home where one would visit one deceased family member in a flower-filled room and weep. This was where hundreds of horse-drawn hearses used to park and be maintained. Now an artistic factory, it churns out events and gatherings at a vertiginous speed.

The buildings were erected in 1873 by the diocese, ruled by religious staff; later on, with the separation of state and church, the city created in 1905 the Service municipal des pompes funèbres (Municipal Service of Funeral Process), considered at the times as a liberal progress, as it meant that from then on, regardless of religion or condition, everyone was due a proper funeral.

Before that, divorced women, suicide victims, atheists, all were to be buried at night without any dignified ceremony or family members present. The municipal monopole was taking care of everything, from coffins to hearses, from porters to cemeteries. One of the important rituals after a death was to wrap the front door of the building where the deceased laid with massive black curtains on each side of the front door – those were called the pompes.

This black veil was used until the 1980s. The Municipal Monopole was still in practice until the middle of 1997. Since then, the ceremonial is now left to family and private companies.

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At the Pompes Funèbres, 27,000 hearses were in use, with a staff of 1,400, only forty of which were women. Carpenters, wood workers, steel workers, mechanics, auto body specialists, seamstresses, cooks for the on-site workers’ cafeteria. Civil servants, horse caterers and other employees were lodged on the premises. There was even a football team, musicians, and firefighters dedicated to the ensemble of constructions. The funeral parlor did not handle corpses – that was done in private parlors. Except in times of war, when the bodies of soldiers were given back to their families.

Creativity at its Best.

So the place was truly always alive (pun intended) in a way, but for some 15 years when it was closed down, before the re-birth as an art center in 2008. When I last visited at the beginning of September, I saw several artists using the multi-levels center floor as a dance stage and yoga space, kids running around huge sculptures, workers having a sandwich on beach chairs, the feel of community involvement was very tangible.

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At each end of the space giant art pieces jetted to the open sky – this is a place that could easily accommodate one of Louise Bourgeois giant spider sculptures. Not every art space can. An enormous funky piece made of hundreds of bicycles wheels and frames in a sculpture by Chinese Al Weiwei named “Stacked” was taking one end of the forum – representing the transportation mode of his native country, while a metal snake of rust-color boxes was being installed for the upcoming vernissage.

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Concerts for all ages and all style are planned for the fall schedule. Several art shows will also open at the various venues encompassed in the buildings. It’s a real artistic community all housed under one roof. A glass roof that is.

The architecture is reminiscent of the former market halles (market halls) that were once famously popular in the center of the capital. Why waste beautiful edifices? The eco friendly turn-around of the classic buildings is a testament of the creativity of its new users, all artists.

Side Shows.

A food truck selling pizzas is permanently parked inside the Centquatre. The Emmaus store resales clothes and furniture pieces at very low prices, and involves members of the community to work there. Canvas beach chairs invite people to lounge at will. Several corners are meant to be used as sitting areas, or even picnic settings.

The café’s menu is full of childhood favorites, such as toasts, soft eggs, fries and milk-shakes. It is named the Café Caché (the Hidden Café). Another resting place for food is the Grand Central restaurant, the loft-like space offering traditional French dishes at a medium range price – think sausage and lentils, beef cheeks, mussels and fries, rabbit with granny smith apples, steak with Béarnaise sauce, etc..

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The CentQuatre had a challenge — to fill the enormous spaces spread on several city blocks, and despite its sheer size, the place works — it is both a community haven and a convivial space for all. Despite being located in an untrendy area of Paris, that has not stopped Parisians of every corner to make the trip for the sake of art. Over half a million visitors/spectators came by last year. Bravo!

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If you go:
Le CentQuatre is at 5 rue Curial, Paris 75019.
Open Tuesday-Friday noon-7 p.m. Weekends 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Closed Monday.
Métro stop: Riquet.
Bus 54 or 60.
http://www.104.fr/english/

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Arts – The Huffington Post
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If You Think The Apple Watch Is Ridiculous, You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet

What’s better than wearing a $ 500+ Apple Watch? Attaching it to a $ 9,000+ designer watch and wearing them both at once, of course. 

California-based watchmaker Nico Gerard released on Monday the Pinnacle watch, a Swiss-made, 41-millimeter by 10.3-mm, water-resistant timepiece with a strap that fastens onto the Apple Watch.

“The chronometer is situated on the outside of the wrist; the smart watch is situated on the inside of the wrist,” the watchmaker’s website reads.

There are three models to choose from: the Pinnacle, which at $ 9,300 has a stainless steel strap and a black watch face; the Skyview Pinnacle ($ 9,500), with a stainless steel strap and a navy watch face; and, finally, the Sunrise Pinnacle ($ 112,000), which is made of 18-karat gold and has a red face. An Apple Watch or an Apple Watch Edition is also included in each purchase.

You must reserve a model before buying it: Only 99 Skyview Pinnacle and 88 Sunrise Pinnacle watches are available for reservation; there is no limit on the number of standard Pinnacle models available. Reservations, by the way, cost another $ 200 — $ 500 if you’re buying the Sunrise. Customers then have to wait between six and 12 months (depending on which they bought) before they can get their hands — or their wrists — on the timepieces. 

Adam Pluemer, president of Nico Gerard, told The Huffington Post that the “Apple Watch has a bunch of functionalities that people want to use,” such as the heart rate monitor. The Pinnacle bracelet “allow[s] someone to wear that classical timepiece and have all the benefits of the smartwatch as well.”

He also noted that by having an Apple Watch on the inside of the wrist, the wearer could more discreetly view his or her notifications –“If you’re in a board meeting, you don’t want someone across the table reading your text messages” — though why one needs to drop over $ 9,000 for something that can be done with the regular Apple Watch is beyond us. Maybe it’s another way to hide your Apple Watch from your “mainstream” friends.

Nico Gerard is not the first watchmaker to invent a fasten-on for the Apple’s latest gadget. Watchmaker Original Grain also started a crowdfunding campaign in June for The Duo Watch Adapter, which allows users to link the band of their Barrel watch to the Apple Watch on the same clasp.

However, the Original Grain watch is priced at $ 269. Why do the Pinnacle watches cost at least $ 9,300, then?

Pluemer says it’s because the devices are certified by Official Swiss Chronometer Testing, the organization responsible for verifying the accuracy of Swiss timepieces. He also noted that “only 3 percent of Swiss watches actually qualify for [this] certification — so it is actually an elite watch.”

Pluemer was not able to tell us how many watches had been reserved, as of Tuesday.

H/T Tech Insider

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Just Played There’s Nothing Like “Her Story”

Just Played - Her Story - Thumb

From the writer of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, this FMV murder mystery defies traditional storytelling.
GameTrailers.com Videos Hub

Books to Bed – Nothing Freightens Madeline Book & PJ Set

Books to Bed – Nothing Freightens Madeline Book & PJ Set


Stories to wear and share. A darling adaptation to the age-old tradition of the bedtime story, Books to Bed – Nothing Freightens Madeline Book & PJ Set by combines best-selling hardcover children’s story books with a set of matching motif, 100% cotton, snug-fitting, long john pajamas to create a wonderful bedtime experience.
List Price: $ 45.99
Price: $ 45.99

Nothing Personal, But…

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— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Conan & Billy Eichner Join Grindr And Leave Nothing To The Imagination

Sorry, Tinder. You’ve been swiped left.

After Conan O’Brien’s crazy adventures with Dave Franco on Tinder, he decided to try out another popular dating app for one of his hilarious remote segments. This time around, the talk show host invited comedian Billy Eichner to help him navigate the world of Grindr: an app geared towards gay, bisexual and bi-curious men.

If anything, O’Brien took his Tinder experience and cranked it to 11. The talk show host has conversations that leave nothing to the imagination (you’ll never look at a birch tree the same way again), brings a bowl of condoms that makes it look like he’s passing them out as Halloween candy and rides around in a creepy van with another glorious paint job. And incredibly, he’s actually pretty successful.

“Conan” airs weeknights at 11:00 p.m. ET on TBS.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Nothing Is Safe When Your Cat Is ‘Insanity’ Cat

Redditor Mike Lodriguss has a cat named Luna, and she’s 7 pounds of pure “insanity.”

In this clip, watch five excellent minutes worth of the mad kitty’s shenanigans. Then ask yourself this: What life would be like with a feline companion like this energetic ball of fur?

She’d wage war against your closet…

insanity-cat

Your water bottle…

insanity-cat-1

Your carpet/lint/air…

insanity-cat-2

…and basically everything you own. Nothing is safe.

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But OK, we concede: There’d certainly be perks too.

Like really, really great perks.

insanity-cat-4

Would it be worth it? We’d say yes. No contest.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Lauren Conrad’s Wedding Throwback Photo Is Nothing Short Of Lovely

Throwback Thursday is the perfect time to reminisce about life’s happiest moments.

The team over at LaurenConrad.com posted a #tbt photo from Lauren Conrad and William Tell’s September wedding, taken by photographer Elizabeth Messina. The snapshot shows the Paper Crown designer, dressed in her stunning Badgley Mischka Couture gown, walking arm-in-arm with her new husband, both smiling brightly:

#tbt to this special moment ❤️ {photo by @elizabethmessina}

A photo posted by LaurenConrad.com (@laurenconrad_com) on



On New Year’s Eve, the 28-year-old shared a sweet photo from the nuptials on her own Instagram account:

Dear 2015, 2014 is going to be pretty hard to top… ( : @elizabethmessina )

A photo posted by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on



Conrad and Tell married four months ago in a ceremony in Santa Ynez, California. In October, Conrad’s longtime best friend and one of nine bridesmaids, Lo Bosworth, dished about the big day while chatting with HuffPost Live.

“She was one of the most dazzling brides I’ve ever seen. The gown was so spectacular, [and] she was a very, very calm bride,” Bosworth said. And the reception was pretty great, too. “Good cocktails. Good bartenders. My friends and I, we know how to have a good party.”
Weddings – The Huffington Post
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20 Gifts That Cost Nothing to Make — But Just Might Be Priceless

My husband and I are very lucky — my husband teaches school and I am a stay-at-home mom, which means that we are both currently doing exactly what we want to do. Like I said, we are very lucky indeed.

But around this time of year we notice (to put it delicately) that we aren’t as well off financially as we would have been if we had chosen other career paths. And that makes it difficult to buy gifts for others.

Which means year after year we make a pact with each other not to spend any money on ourselves (so that we will have funds to spend on our kids and other family members). But this pact hasn’t stopped us from finding a way to have something to give each other on Christmas morning.

And after 16 years of marriage, I feel that our holiday financial situation may have been a blessing in disguise… we’ve been forced to think about each other and what is most important. Sure, one of these years I’d love to have iPads, televisions, bikes, and the like under the tree, but I can say without any reservation that even though we don’t have money, I have never gone to bed on Christmas night feeling poor.

So this year as I’ve been thinking gift giving, I thought maybe I would share with you some of the gifts that we’ve given to our kids, our family members, and each other. Because when I reflect on my most favorite gifts, they are the ones that have cost virtually nothing.

The following list is a collection of some of my favorites:

1. The Board Game Challenge.

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Have a board game lover at your house? (Like my 10-year-old?) Well, print them out one of these cards and slip it in an envelope. Then together, after the envelope has been opened, fill out the five board (or card) games that you will be playing with each other and get started! You won’t regret it… unless of course you get schooled by your 10-year-old!

2. Memorize a Favorite Passage.

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This may take some time and some sneakiness. Step one… find out the favorite written passage of your loved one. Is it a scripture? A sonnet? A monologue? Or a paragraph from a beloved book? Got it? Good. Now it’s time for step two, which is: memorize!

With memorization complete, all that’s left is step three: the delivery. (When I did this, my husband opened a box that only held a piece of paper with a reference to the passage written on it. When he questioned what it was, I told him… and to this day he will say it was one of his favorite gifts of all time. He even still has that piece of paper hanging on the wall in his office.)

3. Housekeeping Card.

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Does your spouse, roommate, or significant other have a household chore that they just hate to do? Taking out the garbage? Scrubbing toilets? Sorting laundry? If so, this is a great gift. Give them a card, letter, or note explaining that you will take over that job for them for a certain period of time.

WARNING: Be specific about this gift… If you say you are going to do their chore, then you really need to do it, so let them know exactly what you are going to do and how long you are prepared to do it. For a day? A week? A month? Let them know what to expect from you and then don’t offer more than you can deliver. This will make both you and the recipient of the gift happy campers.

4. _____ of the Month Club.

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What is your speciality? Soup? Bread? Cookies? Casseroles? Whatever it is, you should share it with someone who would appreciate it! A grandparent, an aunt or a neighbor… Just print out the card and you are good to go! Then the recipient of your gift not only gets something delicious once a month, but they also get a visit from you. (Which will probably be just as appreciated as your tasty vittles are!) So go ahead and do it! Make someone you love an official member of your salsa (or cake or chicken dish) of the month club! The possibilities here are endless…

5. When Skies Are Gray…

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Is there someone on your list this year who is going through a hard time? If so, maybe a “When Skies Are Gray” Kit could help. All you need to include in this kit is a bundle of letters or images that you put together into different envelopes. What kind of letters and images? Well, things to help get them through a rotten day… maybe a funny “remember when” story… or an “I love you because” letter… or a “10 Reasons Why You Are Awesome” note. Other things you can include in the envelopes are quotes or thoughts that help you through tough times as well as some photos of good times together. Put something different in each envelope.

Try to gather together a small bundle (10-15 envelopes) and then tie them up with a bow. It’s surprising how something as simple as an “I’m lucky to have you in my life because…” can help you through a tough day.

6. A Tell-Me Notebook.

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This is a gift that I have given to my grandparents and love! All you need is a simple notebook. (I gave my grandparents these spiral bound notebooks because I wanted them to just sit down and write whatever came into their minds and not worry about handwriting or doing anything fancy in a nice book.)

Now of course you don’t just give someone an empty notebook… you need to fill the book with questions (I did one every three pages so there was plenty of room to write if needed).

The questions will vary depending on who you are giving the notebook to. The questions I asked my grandparents were like: “Tell me about your first house.” “Tell me about something you are proud of.” “What do you remember most about your mother?” “Tell me about three memorable friends.”

Think about what you want to know from the person you are giving the gift to… and then be prepared for some really terrific conversations.

7. Daily reading date.

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Our kids read every day… but that doesn’t mean that I read out loud to them every day. Recently, as I was reading aloud to the 3-year-old, I noticed that my older two had gathered around to listen to the story. When I asked them what was going on, I was surprised to discover that they said they miss me reading out loud to them. That is when I thought about this card.

Each one of my kids is going to get one this year. The triangles will count as the punches on the card, which makes the card above a 20-punch card. Then I will have the kids redeem them when they want me to read one of their chapters out loud to them, or just feel like reading a picture book together.

8. 50 Things I Learned By…

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Is there someone on your list who is reaching a milestone? Turning 40? Celebrating 30 years together? Then making them something like this is perfect. When my mom turned 50, I made her a framed sign that told her the 50 things I learned from her by the time she turned 50.

Later, when my grandparents turned 80, I made them these books with simple illustrations on card stock sharing the ways they influenced my life and what I’ve learned from them. These gifts have been some of my most favorite to make, and are wonderful for anyone who has helped to shape your life.

9. Magic Car Wash.

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This gift may have to be given before Christmas… because for this gift you will need to have access to the recipient’s vehicle. I usually do this while my husband is at work. I drive over to his school, take his truck, zoom over to the gas station and give it the once-over, quickly cleaning it inside and out, and then return it to its space before he even knows it was gone. When he leaves work, he finds a clean vehicle and a note on the dashboard.

10. Freedom From Responsibility (a.k.a. “I Will Take the Kids for the Night”).

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Sometimes what one really needs is just some quiet time alone. We all love our children and our homes, but sometimes we need a break with time to ourselves to regroup. If that’s the case with anyone on your list, then one of the best gifts you can give is to take his or her responsibilities away for a few hours and let them recharge their batteries.

Do this by giving a card, letter, or note tied up with a bow. Then, once the gift has been given, decide right then and there when the gift will be redeemed… pick a day and a time right away! (And then stick to it! The gift is meaningless unless you follow through!)

11. Read This When…

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This gift is perfect for college students who are away from home. For this gift, you will be writing a number of short letters, putting them in separate envelopes and then labeling the envelopes with when they should be read. The topics of the letters you write will depend on the relationship you have with your college student, but some ideas for these letters are: Read this when: you fail a test, you have a terrible date, you’ve had a rotten day, you feel homesick, you think you are in love, etc. Seal each letter and tie the bundle up with a bow.

12. A Personalized Playlist.

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Think back to junior high, when we made those awesome mixtapes for each other… you know, on cassettes… that was pretty cool. And you knew that your friend chose those songs because she knows you so well or that guy chose those songs because he was secretly trying to let you know how much he was madly in love with you? Well… how great would it be to get one of those tapes again?

Nowadays we can either burn a CD or download a personalized playlist for that friend, sibling, or special someone. Maybe a list of songs for a sibling from back in the day, a woman power list for a good friend who needs a pick-me-up to and from work — or my husband made a running playlist for me that I love. Be creative!

13. Park Tour Permit.

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Find five local parks and tour each one. (Not all in the same day!) Have your children compare slides, big toys, open space, etc., and decide which park is the best.

14. Netflix Night Punch Card.

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I’m not sure an explanation is needed here… and my husband has already asked for another one of these this year.

15. A month of meals.

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This gift takes a little bit of prior planning, but it is so worth it, and I have given this gift to both my parents and in-laws for Christmas several times.

To make a month’s (or a few weeks’) worth of meals, I choose meals that freeze well and then for the next few weeks that is what I make my family for dinner. As I am preparing these dinners, I just make extra… as long as I’m already cooking… and when the meal is finished, I freeze the extra portion and before I know it I have quite a collection of meals that I can take to my working parents and in-laws.

16. “I Love You” Now and Later Letters.

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Simply choose the recipient of your gift and then write them two letters about why you love them. Write one for them to read now, and then write one to be read later on a date you determine… in a year… five years… Just be sure to write “Do not open until____” on the front of the letter to be opened later!

17. Favorite Recipes Pack.

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My mom gave me these recipe cards a few years ago, and I love them! She put together a collection of recipes we grew up eating. Everything from my grandma’s cookies, to my uncle’s BBQ sauce, to her homemade rolls. They are the recipes from my childhood, and I am so happy to have them!

18. A Personalized Screen Saver.

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One year my husband made me some personalized screen savers and snuck them onto my computer. Then every time they popped up on my computer it reminded me of him. Nerdy? Yes. Completely! But I LOVED it!

19. Remember This Book.

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For our second married Christmas, I had a blank book that I filled with short written memories of things my husband and I had done. It was nothing fancy. It wasn’t scrapbooked. There are no pictures. Just short stories, inside jokes, and song lyrics. And it’s a favorite… we laugh every time we read it.

20. Time Capsule Kit.

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I have made time capsules with school classes many times, but this year we are doing it with our children. What they will get is an empty box (I know it sounds like a practical joke…) with a sheet explaining what a time capsule is.

Then, on New Year’s Day, we will fill the box together, with things like predictions, favorite candy wrappers, newspaper clippings, photos, notes, and whatever else the kids want to include. When it is filled, we will wrap it in duct tape and write on the outside the date it can be opened again.

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How to Shop for Free: Shopping Secrets for Smart Women Who Love to Get Something for Nothing

How to Shop for Free: Shopping Secrets for Smart Women Who Love to Get Something for Nothing


You’ve heard of amazing deals, online discounts, outlet shopping-but has anyone showed you how to shop for free? Meet Kathy Spencer-hot, hip mom of four who can whittle a 7.22 grocery bill down to one penny. One penny. Now, this smart, sassy, step-by-step savings guide teaches you how to do just that by revealing: Kathy’s killer two-for-one shopping strategyWhich stores have the best savings-and how to cash inMonth-by-month steals and off-season shopping secretsHow to amass so much free stuff that you’ll have to give it away You’ll learn how to find the best savings and combine them with store promotions, coupons, rewards programs, and store credit to get almost anything for free-from organic produce to makeup, baby formula to brand-name clothing. With an eye toward cutting your monthly spending on the basics, Spencer guides you through many popular stores-including CVS, Kohl’s, Office Max, PetSmart, Target, and Home Depot-and explains how to maximize your savings. Follow Spencer’s plan, and before you know it, you’ll be shopping for free.

Price: $
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Hello Kitty Is Not A Cat Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

You might want to sit down for this one.

Sanrio has revealed Hello Kitty — the supposedly adorable feline character that adorns everything from lunch boxes and toasters to t-shirts and lingerie — is, in fact, not a cat. We repeat NOT A CAT.

Just what is Hello Kitty, you’re asking?

Hello Kitty is a human girl (and a British one at that), Christine R. Yano, the author of “Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty’s Trek Across the Pacific,” told The Los Angeles Times.

“Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature,” Yano explained to the Times.

And if you are ready for your mind to be just a little more blown, the character we all know as Hello Kitty is actually Kitty White — a Scorpio who loves apple pie, and is the daughter of George and Mary White.

“She has a twin sister. She’s a perpetual third-grader. She lives outside of London. I could go on. A lot of people don’t know the story and a lot don’t care,” Yano told the paper.

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For more on Hello Kitty, head over to the Los Angeles Times.

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If This Note Doesn’t Convince Your Boss To Let You Watch The U.S. Soccer Game, Nothing Will

Really want to watch the U.S.-Germany game on Thursday, but don’t know how you’re going to get off work? The U.S. men’s soccer team has you covered.

The team’s official Twitter feed sent a ready-to-go get-out-of-work note to its one million followers on Wednesday. And, well, it’s pretty perfect:

us letter

We also transcribed it in case it’s hard to read in its original form format whatever reason:

To whom it may concern:

Please excuse _____________ from work on Thursday, June 26th.

I understand that this absence may reduce the productivity of your workplace, but I can assure you that it is for an important cause. The #USMNT has a critical World Cup game vs. Germany and we will need the full support of the nation if we are to advance to the next round.

By the way, you should act like a good leader and take the day off as well. Go USA!

If your boss doesn’t let you root for your country after reading that, well, then maybe you need to find a new boss. The game is at 12 p.m. EST.
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Men`s Next To Nothing Aloha Short Sleeve Shirt

Men`s Next To Nothing Aloha Short Sleeve Shirt


The Next-to-Nothing Aloha is a lightweight travel shirt that is perfect for any tropical destination. Wear it straight from the airplane to the cafe to the beach.
List Price: $ 54.99
Price: $ 54.99

All or Nothing

All or Nothing


Preston L. Allen’s witty, charming, and very likable school bus driver—named P—is a desperate gambler. He has blown the hundred thousand dollars he won at the casino six months ago, but his wife and family still think he’s loaded. P spins out of control on the addict’s downward spiral of dependency, paranoia, and depression, as he must find ways to keep coming up with the money to fool his family and fund his growing addiction. The bets get bigger and bigger, until finally, faced with the ultimate financial crisis, he hits it really big. Yet winning, he soon learns, is just the beginning of a deeper problem.The one constant for P—who rises from wage-earner to millionaire and back again in his roller-coaster-ride of a life—is that he must gamble. That his son has died, that his wife is leaving him, that his girlfriend has been arrested, that he has no money, that he has more money than he could ever have dreamed—are all lesser concerns for P as he constantly seeks out new gambling opportunities.While other books on gambling seek either to sermonize on the addiction or to glorify it by highlighting its few prosperous celebrities, All or Nothing is an honest, straightforward account of what it is like to live as a gambler—whether a high-rolling millionaire playing ,000-ante poker in Las Vegas or a regular guy at the local Indian casino praying for a miracle as he feeds his meager life savings into the unforgiving slot machine. All or Nothing is the first novel to dig beneath the veneer to explore the gambler’s unique and complex relationship with money.  If you’ve ever wanted to get into the heart and psyche of a compulsive gambler, here is your chance.Preston L. Allen is a recipient of a State of Florida Individual Artist Fellowship and author of the thriller Hoochie Mama, as well as the collection Churchboys and Other Sinners. His stories have appeared in numerous magazines and journals and have been anthologized in Brown Sugar (Penguin) and Miami Noir (Akashic). H

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These Divorce Cakes Are Nothing Short Of Batsh*t Crazy (PHOTOS)

Move over, wedding cakes. There’s a new cake in town — it’s the divorce cake, and it’s about 500 times crazier than you.

Below, 12 of the most over-the-top (and in some cases, “Human Centipede 2”-level frightening) cake homages to calling it quits we’ve ever seen.

You really outdid yourself, crazy exes.


Nothing says “I’m over you” like a cake covered in teeny penises. Embittered score: 2 out of 5


Your ex was a monster. You need a cake that aptly conveys that. Embittered score: 3 out of 5


A mid-life crisis in cake form. Embittered score: 3 out of 5


It’s saying something that this is the most understated divorce cake we’ve ever seen. Embittered score: 1 out of 5


Severed ex heads are a classic divorce cake touch. Embittered score: 5 out of 5


Because gender equality. Embittered score: 3 out of 5


Mmm, delicious ball and chain. Embittered score: 2 out of 5


Apparently, the grass is not greener on the other side. Embittered score: 3 out of 5


Extra points for what we assume is DIY (and for the choice of cheesecake). Embittered score: 3 out of 5


A hit with seven-year-old boys and crazy ex-wives alike. Embittered score: 4 out of 5


The Carrie Bradshaw of divorce cakes. Embittered score: 3 out of 5


The divorce cake to end all divorce cakes. Embittered score: 5 out of 5

Click through the slideshow below to see even more ridiculous divorce cakes.

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter.
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These 10 Wedding World Records Are Nothing Short Of Amazing

By Kristen Droesch for YourTango.com

Weddings are becoming more and more extravagant, and we’re all aware of it. Haven’t you ever found yourself at a wedding reception and thought, “Gosh, this must be a record-setter”? Well, a record was quite literally recently at a Sri Lankan wedding, when the bride rolled in with 126 bridesmaids. Yes 126! This got us thinking — what other world records* are out there relating to weddings?

Wet and wild.
The largest underwater wedding was achieved with 303 divers in Poland attending the nuptials of Ewa Staronska and Pawel Burkowski in 2011. Even the priest, Father Pawel Wrobel, was a licensed diver!

All that glitters.
The record for most pearls on a wedding gown was set by Yumi Katsura of Japan, who put a whopping 13,262 cultured Akoya pearls on her gown in 2012.

That’s a lot of conjugal visits.
In 2000, 120 prisoners at Carandiru prison, Sao Paulo, Brazil, got married to their respective fiancées, setting the record for largest prison wedding.

Rolling thunder.
Also in 2000, Peter Schmidl and Anna Turceková of Bratislava, Slovakia included a wedding procession of 597 motorcyclists on their bikes. What, they couldn’t make it an even 600?

That’s some meal.
Jayalalitha Jayaram took the cake for largest wedding feast when she spent $ 23,299,162 on her foster son’s reception in 1995, hosting 150,000 guests. The menu alone was estimated at $ 621,311!

A table-breaker.
Weighing in at 15,032 lbs, the largest wedding cake in the world was made by the chefs of Mohegan Sun in Connecticut for their New England bridal showcase.

Watch your step!
The longest wedding veil measured 11,017 ft 0.5 in and was worn by Lebanese bride Sandra Mechleb. How do you store something like that?

Bark if you believe in love.
The largest dog wedding took place in the United States in 2007 and involved 178 dog “couples.” Though not official, we’re sure the dogs enjoyed themselves.

The Vomit Comet.
All it took for Erin Finnegan and Noah Fulmor (USA) to perform the first zero-gravity wedding in 2009 was a “modified Boeing 727-200” (and, we assume, a daredevil preacher).

Zoom!
In 2011, Eleanor Franks of the UK set the record for fastest marathon ran in a wedding dress (veil included) by clocking in at 4 hr 11 min 01 sec.

*Source: Guinness Book of World Records

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