Rihanna Talks Lingerie, Body Positivity and Her ‘Battle’ With Social Media

The singer and designer wants to broaden the fashion community while also disorienting it.
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3 Ways to Increase Positivity With Your Wardrobe Mindset

How many times have you walked into your closet and thought, “I have nothing to wear” all while you’re staring at a closet that is overflowing with clothes? You then frantically search for an outfit that ends up being the same old thing you always wear, but because you’re running low on time, you just deal with it and go on with your day.

This frantic minute or two is impacting your entire day. By starting the day with a negative thought, you block your own ability to make this day the best one yet. If you start your morning with a positive mindset, you open yourself up to more positivity throughout the day. This leads to greater clarity on what your desires are and how you will achieve them. If you’re ready to add more positivity and clarity into your day, it’s time to start with the one thing that you do every single morning- getting dressed.

Detox Your Closet

Every morning you pick out an outfit and get dressed, regardless of how much time and effort you put into it. With an activity that happens so frequently in your life, it’s important to make sure that it’s not creating a negative impact on your day. The fastest way to add more joy and positivity into your day is by identifying the parts of your daily routine that are chaotic and stressful and eliminating or adjusting them so that they better serve you. By eliminating the frustrations that you have with your wardrobe, you will feel excited about what’s inside your closet door.

The best way to detox your closet is to start with baby steps. Give yourself small challenges either daily or weekly. If you’re planning to do a major closet cleanout, only do this when you know you have the time to do it. A closet cleanout always looks scarier halfway through the process, so you want to make sure you have time to complete it because if not, you’re going to have a giant pile of clothes haunting you for the rest of the weekend.

One of my favorite detox tips is to wear a pair of shoes that you haven’t worn in a while. At the end of the day, ask yourself this, “did you fall in love with them all over again?” If so, by all means keep them! However, if you realized you haven’t been wearing them because they’re uncomfortable or don’t go with any of your outfits, it’s time to get rid of them TODAY. If you plan on donating or reselling clothes or shoes, never put them back in your closet. Set them aside so that you make it a priority to get them out the door!

Define Your Signature Style

When you define your signature style, you know exactly what to wear because you know what pieces of clothing represent your best self. When you are dressed as the best version of yourself, you radiate confidence.

Defining your signature style is not about incorporating the latest trends into your outfit. It’s about identifying what colors and silhouettes you feel best in. When you look and feel your best, the rest of the world sees this.

A great way to identify what colors and silhouettes look best on you without hiring a personal stylist is simple. Here’s something you can do today: head over to your Facebook profile pictures. These pictures were chosen by you as representation of how you want the world to see you, so it’s a good indicator on what outfits you feel confident in. Take a look at each picture and ask yourself which colors and style of clothes suit you best. Hint: it’s important to look past the trends. Just because something isn’t in style anymore doesn’t mean that the color doesn’t look amazing on you!

Open Room for Clarity and Positivity

By eliminating your wardrobe frustrations and curating your closet so that you only have pieces that best represent you, you’ve opened up space that was once taken up by negative thoughts. You’ve saved yourself from a frantic and chaotic morning! This is going to open room in your life for those moments of clarity. The less you are focused on the things that aren’t going right, the more you can focus on all that you can achieve. And when you live this mindset everyday, you know that your goals are achievable. When you have a positive and clear mindset, asking for a raise or moving to a brand new city is no longer as scary as it once was. You see the outcome in the most positive way, knowing that you are acting on this decision because it’s what serves you best, instead of focusing on all of the things that could go wrong.

In the time that you used to spend searching for something in your closet, take this newfound time for a positive thought or think about what you’re grateful for that morning. By regaining control over your morning through your closet, you are bringing in positivity, allowing yourself to focus your energy on achieving your desires.

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Pixar Fails At Body Positivity in ‘Inside, Out’

I have five kids. Like, for real. Five of them. We don’t go to the movies as much now that my bigger kids are so BIG (seriously, one of them is 6’1″), and the little ones have pretty much zero interest in movies. We have a TV (we aren’t that weird), but we don’t watch it much. That said, I’m sort of out of the loop when it comes to pop culture. I’ve only read about the new Pixar movie. I had no plans on seeing it, really, but now that I’ve read about it and a had a friend confirm my suspicions, I will for sure not ever be seeing it.

No.

Like any good feminist, I object to parts of Snow White (um, Prince rescuing her with a kiss? No). And The Little Mermaid (uh, have fins? Switch for legs? For a man? No). And like any good body-positivity activist, I question why I can’t even take my kids to a movie, for flip’s sake (not that I would, but we’re speaking hypothetically here) without a collective sigh and a real, genuine head shake/eye roll.

I can’t write with any real authority about Inside Out, because I haven’t see the movie, but I’m pretty much 100% positive that seeing the movie isn’t required to make this judgment. Because here’s the thing about movies: They are made of pictures. And visual memory is most reliable than auditory or tactile. That’s right, folks, we remember what we see.

Just take a minute to think about the implications of that.

And what are we seeing, exactly?

Well, the movie is a look inside the mind of an 11-year-old girl named Riley. I’m not sure what we’d expect to see in there, aside from One Direction and the remnants of some forsaken Barbies that now find themselves stored under the bed. Pixar wants us to see in Riley’s mind, and that’s clever. Cute, even.

Except here’s the problem: What’s apparently in Riley’s mind is a tall, lithe, human-looking girl with a pixie cut named Joy, obviously. Her counterpoint is a short, chunky, sad-and-blue… person (I presume) with an emo haircut, named — you guessed it — Sad.

Sad (the feeling) is often associated with the color blue. Red is often associated with anger, etc. That I get. I don’t get how that happened, and I’m not going to go searching because it’s not that important to my point. Blue is also associated with boys. Which also makes no sense. At all.

Color aside… why is she short? Why does she have emo hair? Why is she wearing glasses? Why does she have to wear a turtleneck? Why is she fat, for frack’s sake?

In fact, why have any of these characteristics been assigned to her?

Well. Probably because someone at Pixar thinks fat people are sad. Because they are fat. And how could they be fat and smile? Fat people have some nerve. Also, their poor vision is apparently causing them some distress. Joy doesn’t wear glasses. She probably had Lasik. Because she is probably also rich. Rich, white (well, white-ish) people are also joyous. And she gets to wear a cute little dress, which she probably bought at Nordstrom, while Sad is shrouded in what is probably an itchy-ass thrifted wool sweater. Maybe that’s why she’s named Sad.

I don’t even like turtlenecks.

Don’t get all “Oh, she’s a grouchy fat lady,” on me. This is real.

All of this makes me sad. Just when I think we are starting to get it — there’s an African-American lead female protagonist in a Disney movie, Rapunzel takes care of herself, Elsa is a general badass — something like this happens. And it’s like Pixar didn’t even know.

People of Pixar, can we stop stereotyping? Now? Thanks.

I wish it were that simple. The fact that someone who works for a major production company — in fact, probably many people that work for that company — cannot even see how this is problematic, is just… I don’t even know. Upsetting. Marginalizing. Saddening. Disturbing. And the fact that most of us will see the movie and think, Aw, what a cute little movie, well, it says something about us, our culture, and what we’ve been conditioned to think for so long that it isn’t even something we’d question.

Children are tiny, impressionable sponges. And small children, presumably the movie’s target audience, are the most impressionable. Ours don’t watch commercial TV for this reason. Have you ever really paid attention to commercials? Carl’s Jr. is using sex to sell hamburgers, for crap’s sake.

Children simply cannot discern things that are nuanced. They don’t have the capacity in their tiny brains to say, “Hey Pixar. You are being a bunch of jerks.” They see the character Sad — blue, fat, glasses on her chunky emo face — and guess what? That’s sad. You just literally defined sad for my 4-year-old. THANKS A LOT.

Meanwhile her mother (me) is writing and talking and practically screaming about body image and fat acceptance. Pixar, you are undermining me. I expect more.

We can watch a movie and just watch it, or we can watch a movie and really think about what it’s saying. And then we can ask — ourselves, and the movie maker and each other — what is going on here? And then hopefully we can talk about how we need to do better, for ourselves, and for our babies who are watching.

This story by Joni Edelman first appeared on Ravishly.com.

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7 Ways to Practice Positivity and Optimism Every Day

By now the benefits of positive thinking are well established. Sages, psychologists, neuroscientists, researchers and doctors all have been espousing the benefits of positive thinking for hundreds of years.

Positive thinking helps us to be healthier, more productive and ultimately happier. Yet for most of us it is hard to practice optimism on a regular basis.

Relieving the states that make life miserable… has made building the states that make life worth living less of a priority. The time has finally arrived for a science that seeks to understand positive emotion, build strength and virtue, and provide guideposts for finding what Aristotle called the ‘good life.’ — Dr. Martin Seligman

I am fascinated by the human quest to understand the underpinnings of positive thinking. From Epictetus to Ralph Waldo Emerson to Buddha to Dr. Martin Seligman to Oprah, I seek every bit of inspiring wisdom I can to practice optimism.

Here are my seven essential mantras that I find helpful to keep myself on a positive track:

1. Guide Your Energy

“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.” — Muhammad Ali

According to quantum physics, our thoughts have a frequency and a corresponding unique vibration that attracts similar frequencies into our lives. So negative thinking attracts negative energy; positive thinking attracts positive energy.

Buddha, Aristotle and many others have suggested the same, how we think creates the energy that ultimately manifests our realities. If we go into a situation with a negative thought process then we are almost destined to have a negative outcome.

This also applies to group thinking or collective consciousness. When a collection of people together guides their mental energy for a positive outcome, the likelihood of their success is usually lot higher and than otherwise. Their collective energy attracts positivity or negativity.

2. Connect with Ourselves

Life is a process of ongoing transformation spurred by the interlinked qualities of curiosity, purpose, and courage. When you know yourself, you can act with a confidence that is your own.

The better we understand the nature of the world, the better we can move in the world. The better we understand the nature of ourselves, the better we can move within ourselves.

3. Practice Visualization

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”– Buddha

Visualization is perhaps one of many attributes that assures one’s future. In the psychology community, creative visualization refers to the practice of seeking to affect the outer world by changing one’s thoughts and expectations.

Visualization is a technique used by winners in all walks of life. Our minds have an enormous capacity to connect the invisible dots to guide us to strive for the impossible.

4. Slow Down To Move Forward

“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves — slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Sometimes we need to slow down in order to move forward. Slowing down is a deliberate choice that can lead to greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness, which yields better results in one’s endeavors.

Being truly in the moment allows us to escape from adversity and conserve our inner energy. Living in the moment doesn’t mean we don’t care about the future. It means that when we make a choice to do something, we focus on solely doing it, rather than letting our mind wander into the future (or the past).

5. Read, Write, Watch

Inspiration can come from anywhere and anyone. Mine often comes from books and movies — books and movies that combine life stories with a spiritual journey.

Writing allows us to consciously put these positive reaffirmations on paper to visualize our destiny. I have also found writing is therapeutic for coping with my adversities. It allows me to turn my anger, fear, and disappointments into inspiration for myself and my readers. It serves as stress relief when you try to turn negative into positive by finally expressing what you feel down deep inside.

6. Be Kind To Yourself

In his book, The Art of Happiness, His Holiness the fourteenth Dalai Lama wrote, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

It is particularly difficult to stay positive in the face of adversity and failure. For many, even though it may be easy to show compassion to others, it may be hard to accept, embrace, and be compassionate toward ourselves. Some of us blame others for all our miseries and some blame ourselves. Often it’s easy to blame oneself, feel sorry, and/or put oneself down. It is only through being able to let go, have compassion for oneself, and self-encouragement that we can pursue a path of positivity.

It is our trials and tribulations that make us who we are. Without compassion for ourselves we never find the awareness that allows us to nurture our true self.

7. Develop Resiliency

“In the end, if you are lucky, you see that our trials are what improve us. And if you are very lucky and somewhat insightful, you see that whatever your trial has been, it is exactly what you needed. Our trials make us who we are.” — Michael Morton

Positive people develop a mental capacity that allows them to adapt with ease during adversity. They develop a set of powerful mental traits.

Resiliency begins with adaptability, acceptance, and gratitude. Success and happiness does not always come from blasting through rocks and impediments, rather from having the faith, courage and ‘letting it happen’ attitude to cope with harsh realities of life.

Above all, positive and optimistic people lead themselves by constantly finding encouragement within their soul. They surround themselves with other positive people. And they inspire others despite their own personal adversity.

The more you give out positively, the more you get back.

Serial entrepreneur and author Faisal Hoque is the founder of SHADOKA and other companies. Shadoka’s portfolio of companies (R&D driven products, services, and thought leadership) accelerates individual and organizational sustainable growth. Author of several books, his newest book is “Everything Connects — How to Transform and Lead in the Age of Creativity, Innovation and Sustainability” (McGraw Hill, Spring 2014).
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