"RHOBH" Cast Reveal Relationship Status With Lisa Vanderpump

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Will Smith Opens Up About His Strong Relationship With Son Trey After Revealing They “Struggled For Years”

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Q. & A.: Tell Us 5 Things About Your Book: An Unlikely Relationship With Guns

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DWTS’ John Schneider Gets Emotional Over His Strained Relationship with His Children

John Schneider is hoping he can mend his strained relationship with his three children.

In an exclusive clip of Monday’s Dancing with the Stars, the Dukes of Hazzard alum, who played Bo Duke on the comedy series from 1979-85, gets emotional while explaining how country music and DWTS has affected his life.

“What country music means to me is it’s three chords and the truth and it shines a light on things that happen in everyday life that are wonderful, not so wonderful, and that are heart-wrenching,” Schneider, 58, says.

“I’ve been going through a divorce now for four years and it’s awful. The worst part about it is that it’s wedged itself in between my three adult children and myself. Nothing I can do except hope one day one of my kids will call me up or show up. I look in the crowd every Monday thinking maybe tonight, maybe tonight.”

“If it weren’t for this music and now Dancing with the Stars, I don’t think I can survive it,” he admits. “It gives me great joy at a time where I desperately needed it.”

Earlier on in the season, Schneider briefly spoke towards his relationship with his children. whom he is not on speaking terms with.

“I’m hoping that I will do my family proud, I’ll do my love over there proud,” said Schneider told host Erin Andrews, referencing his girlfriend, Alicia, and added, “and maybe my children will speak to me again.”

After 21 years of marriage, Schneider’s estranged wife Elvira “Elly” Schneider filed for divorce in Los Angeles County on Nov. 14, 2014. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split, according to court documents.

In September 2016, Schneider — he shares adult children Leah, Chasen, and Karis with Elvira — was ordered to pay his ex $ 18,911 every month, TMZ reported.

But in June, Schneider was sentenced to three days behind bars in the Los Angeles County Jail in June for failure to pay more than $ 150,000 in owed alimony payments to Elvira. The actor was released on the same day as his initial booking because of California’s overcrowded prison system, but his legal woes were not done with that.

Schneider was also ordered to serve an additional 120 hours behind bars for contempt, but that sentence was suspended by the court on the condition that he fulfills a four-part list of conditions, including filing back taxes to help clear title to their property in Apple Valley so that it could be transferred to her, paying his ex half of his owed earnings from Maven Entertainment, and offering certain financial disclosures before the end of the year.

Dancing with the Stars airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.


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Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley Spend the Day Together in Miami Amid Relationship Tension

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Bachelor: Vietnam Contestants Who Left Rose Ceremony Together Are Now in a Relationship

It may have taken a couple extra episodes, but the two women from Bachelor: Vietnam got their happy ending after all!

While the show doesn’t frequently make waves across the globe, a September rose ceremony made headlines after Minh Thu asked her fellow contestant Truc Nhu to leave the show to be with her.

Although Nhu ultimately decided to stay in the house at the time, the show’s executive producer Anh Tran has confirmed that the pair are currently together.

“They left the show and have been together since. We delivered on our promise that two people would find love,” Tran told Nextshark after a Facebook post regarding the pair’s relationship status went viral.

In the post, a social media user wrote that during a later episode it was revealed that Nhu’s decision not to immediately walk away from the program was something the women “both agreed” on.

“They just wanted to make sure their feelings weren’t just a misconception of love because they are so close,” the social media user explained, adding that Nhu stayed on the show for two additional episodes before she asked to leave as she had “already found what she was looking for.”

RELATED: Bachelor: Vietnam Contestants Shock Man by Leaving Rose Ceremony Together: ‘I’m Sorry’

The romantic conclusion came as a big relief to fans of the couple, who had been dismayed when their love story seemingly hadn’t panned out.

During the September episode, after it seemed like she would not be receiving a rose, Thu tearfully explained to the bachelor, Nguyen Quoc Trung, that her heart belonged to another person.

“I went into this competition to find love,” she said. “But I’ve found that love for myself. But it isn’t you. It’s someone else.”

Thu then left her spot in the lineup and walked over to Nhu. After sharing a long hug, Thu implored Nhu to “come home with me.”

In an effort to get Nhu to stay, Trung asked the contestant to give him another chance, arguing that he thought she’d “have regret” if she left.

Making her own decision, Nhu proceeded to return the rose and walk away with Thu, although according to NextShark, she ultimately decided to remain on the show.

RELATED: The Bachelorette‘s Blake Horstmann Says He’s Over Becca Kufrin: ‘We Haven’t Spoken’

Addressing the larger significance of the television moment, Bachelor: Vietnam producer Anh-Thu Nguyen told NextShark that their love story was “especially” powerful “in the context of Vietnamese culture.”

“It’s been a proud experience to see our clip resonate around the world and become an unexpected platform for discussing LGBTQI+ issues in Vietnam on a global scale,” she added.


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Khloé Kardashian Is ‘Very Happy to Be with Her Family’ as Relationship Is ‘Up in the Air’: Sources

Khloé Kardashian is staying put in Los Angeles — for now.

A source close to the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star tells PEOPLE she’s “very happy to be with her family in Los Angeles” and hasn’t been discussing moving to Ohio with her 6-month-old daughter True Thompson despite previous intentions to join boyfriend Tristan Thompson in Cleveland, where he plays for the Cavaliers.

“Khloé seems great,” the insider says. “She is still in L.A. with True. There hasn’t been any new talk about moving to Cleveland. It seems she isn’t moving back right now.”

On Friday, the Revenge Body host, 34, joined up with her famous family to love on her baby girl. “True had the cutest six-month celebration with her youngest cousins,” the source says.

Coined a “cousin cupcake party,” the bash found Kylie Jenner’s daughter Stormi, 8 months, Kim Kardashian West’s kids Chicago, 8 months, and Saint, 2, and Rob Kardashian’s daughter Dream, 1, all hanging on a picnic blanket together, enjoying a variety of sprinkle-topped desserts.

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💕 Cousin Cupcake Party!!! 💕 Keeping Up With The Kousins 💕

A post shared by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on Oct 12, 2018 at 8:14pm PDT


RELATED: Khloé Kardashian Throws the Cutest ‘Cousin Cupcake’ Party for Baby True’s Half-Birthday  

As for things with 27-year-old Thompson — who appeared to miss the festivities — the future of their relationship remains unknown six months after his cheating scandal.

“She hasn’t really talked about Tristan,” the source says. “She gushes about True and is happy working, but that’s it.”

Days before True’s birth on April 12, Thompson’s alleged infidelities made headlines. Since then, Kardashian has been focused on raising her daughter and repairing her relationship with the Cavaliers player. Earlier this week, she traveled to Cleveland for two days without True, returning to L.A. Thursday morning, a second Kardashian source previously told PEOPLE.

“Khloé is stable, content and very happy with being a mom and with how things are going with True,” said the source. “As for Tristan, things are still quite up in the air between them. Things seem more unstable in the relationship right now, but she’s taking it all in stride.”

RELATED: Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson’s Relationship Is ‘Up in the Air,’ Says Source

Still, Oct. 12 is certainly a bittersweet day for Khloé. She reflected on her life since the scandal on Instagram Stories, sharing two cryptic posts.

“In 6 months time you can either be in the same place or a better place,” the first text post read. “Focus everyday on improving your Health, Wealth, and Happiness. It will take time but you can make it happen.”

In the second post, Khloé shared, “You become a master of your life when you learn how to control where your attention goes. Value what you give your energy and time to.”

Khloé spent the summer with Thompson and True in Los Angeles alongside her famous family.

“Her feelings about Tristan cheating is something that she is still dealing with,” the source added.

“She has good weeks when she is fine about it and weeks when she is upset about it,” a source previously told PEOPLE.

“It’s of course difficult to trust someone 100 percent who cheated days before he was about to become a dad,” the source said. “Khloé still struggles with this sometimes. She wants to move back to Cleveland, but she isn’t sure what date she is . The move is postponed for now. She seems very upset about leaving her family. She had the best summer in L.A.”


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Intel CEO Resigns Over Relationship With Employee

Intel CEO Brian Krzanich resigned after the company determined he violated company policy by having a past, consensual relationship with an Intel employee.
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Intel CEO Resigns Over Relationship With Employee

Intel CEO Brian Krzanich resigned after the company determined he violated company policy by having a past, consensual relationship with an Intel employee.


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The Sweet Spot: My Relationship Makes Me Feel Excruciatingly Lonely. But I Love Her!

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Liam Gallagher wants relationship with estranged daughter

Liam Gallagher has said he wants to maintain a relationship with his estranged daughter Molly Moorish following a recent meeting.
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Madelaine Petsch Reacts to Cheryl & Toni's Relationship

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Bruce Banner’s relationship with The Hulk plays a major role in Avengers: Infinity War.


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Explaining Bruce Banner’s Relationship with Hulk in Infinity War

Spoiler warning: This post contains major plot details for Avengers: Infinity War, so proceed with caution.

Apparently, even the Hulk has performance issues from time to time.

After proving himself the undisputed champion of butt-kicking on Sakaar in Thor: Ragnarok (with a little help from the obedience disk embedded in Thor’s neck), Hulk gets a bit of an attitude adjustment in the opening act of Avengers: Infinity War after being soundly defeated in hand-to-hand combat by Thanos; the Mad Titan not only knocks Hulk unconscious, he also draws blood.

Continue reading…



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Kendall Jenner & Blake Griffin: Everything We Know About Their Super-Private Relationship

It’s been seven months since Kendall Jenner and Blake Griffin first stepped out together, but the A-list couple continues to keep their romance largely out of the spotlight.

“I like my private life,” Jenner, 22, told Vogue writer Jonathan Van Meter for the magazine’s April 2018 cover interview.

Still, she refused in the interview to confirm that she’s dating the Detroit Pistons power forward, who turned 29 on Friday. Neither commemorated the special day on social media, but that’s typical for the stars, who’ve long preferred a low-key relationship.

“I’m happy. He’s very nice,” she told Vogue. “I have someone being very nice to me.”

Here’s a look back at their relationship, from its beginning to the present.

Summer 2017

In early August, Jenner was spotted leaving the Travis Scott concert afterparty at Avenue nightclub in Los Angeles followed by Griffin. Earlier in the evening, Jenner and Griffin attended the Kendrick Lamar concert at the Staples Center, where Scott also performed. They were joined by Kris and Kylie Jenner as well as Memphis Grizzlies player Chandler Parsons and Jenner’s BFF Hailey Baldwin.

Weeks later, Jenner was spotted on a double date with Griffin, Baldwin and Parsons. The foursome enjoyed dinner at Craig’s in Los Angeles. After the meal, Jenner and Griffin and Parsons all hopped into the same car and left together. The following evening, they were spotted at Nobu with a group of friends, and the next night the two reunited again at Soho House in Malibu.

After stepping out with Griffin three nights in a row, a source told PEOPLE at the time that the two were having fun together, but it was still very casual.

“She’s seeing Blake romantically,” says the source. “It’s nothing serious. She has been in L.A. a lot lately, and is having fun.”

“Work will soon take over her life again, so who knows what will happen will Blake then,” added the source. “She is having fun right now and that’s all that matters to her. She takes her career very seriously and that’s her number one priority right now.”

Though the duo began spending time with each other, Jenner was still keeping her options open, including staying in touch with rapper A$ AP Rocky. “Kendall and Blake have been hanging out quite a bit and are having a good time,” a source told PEOPLE. “They met in passing a few times and hit it off.”

“She’s still talking to Rocky as well,” the source added. “But he isn’t the type to settle down or be a good boyfriend, so she’s playing the field too.”

WATCH: Kendall Jenner Talks Her Sexuality, Stormi and Sitting Out Fashion Month

Fall 2017

In mid-October, the pair stepped out with Kylie and Scott for a special double date at Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights in Hollywood, an onlooker confirmed to PEOPLE. They were joined by Jordyn Woods, 20, and Baldwin.

“Kylie and Kendall were both extremely loving and cuddly with their boyfriends,” the onlooker said. “Both couples had their arms around each other, and the girls were really sweet with their guys. Travis and Kylie were especially cute and lovey-dovey. Kendall and Blake had a blast going through the mazes together.”

Days later, Jenner showed her public support for Griffin when she was spotted at the Los Angeles Staples Center where she watched him and the L.A. Clippers take on cross-city rivals, the L.A. Lakers. She was all smiles as she watched the game, appearing supportive as Griffin commanded the court with blocks, shots and one of his famous slam dunks. (The Clippers beat the Lakers 108-92.)

The following month, the NBA star joined Jenner’s family — including parents Kris Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner and sisters Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian West — at her birthday dinner at Petit Taqueria in Los Angeles.

“Kendall was in a great mood,” an onlooker told PEOPLE of the supermodel, who rocked $ 10,000 Saint Laurent boots at the bash, sponsored by Tequila Avión. “She and Blake hung out, but they also mingled separately.”

Another source added: “Kendall is very happy with Blake. They started out more like friends, and then it was very casual. But it seems more serious lately. When they are not together, they keep in touch over the phone. Her family has accepted Blake. They are spending time getting to know him.”

Following her 22nd birthday celebration, Jenner once again cheered on Griffin courtside in early November at the Staple Center in Los Angeles, where she rocked a baggy white turtleneck, distressed denim jeans and a pair of $ 10,000 Saint Laurent knee-high boots.

A week later, the cute couple was spotted grabbing a bite to eat at Sugarfish Sushi in Beverly Hills, and they were dressed in nearly identical outfits, according to The Daily MailJenner wore a black sweatshirt with black leggings and white sneakers, while Griffin opted for a black hoodie, black pants and white sneakers. Following their meal, the couple exited the restaurant to find what appeared to be a parking ticket on the windshield of the Range Rover they arrived in earlier.

At the end of November, the pair made their red carpet debut when they both attended the premiere of The 5th Quarter in Beverly Hills, California, each posing for photographers separately. She showed off some skin a mesh leotard — which she paired with ripped jeans, a beige blazer and peach-colored bra. The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star accessorized her look with black boots and a gold cross necklace, wearing her hair back in a loose bun to show off her smiling face and natural-looking makeup.

Griffin, who wasn’t by her side (she threw her arm around CEO of OBB Pictures Michael Ratner), dressed down his fitted royal blue suit with a grey crewneck sweater and white sneakers.

By early December, Jenner was cozying up in Griffin’s jacket after she supported the Los Angeles Clippers power forward’s stand-up comedy show for his Team Griffin Foundation in Hollywood. She joined a crew of Griffin’s NBA friends for her boyfriend’s performance and went for a business casual look in a lightweight Tom Ford long sleeve turtleneck, Tom Ford check wide-leg trousers and slouchy Tom Ford over-the-knee boots.

Jenner seemed to get a little chilly by the time she slipped out of the venue with Griffin close behind and threw her boyfriend’s Ermenegildo Zegna coat (which has his name inscribed on the inside) over her shoulders. After posing for a few photos right before the show was set to start, Jenner took her seat with a group of basketball players to see Griffin take the stage. According to an onlooker at the event, “Kendall was enthusiastic throughout Griffin’s opening performance, but in the middle of a set by John Mulaney, she and several of the other basketball players went backstage.”

Winter 2018

Following the holiday season and New Year, “Blake and Kendall have been cooling off recently, but they’re not officially broken up,” a source told PEOPLE exclusively after Griffin was spotted out and about in Los Angeles over a weekend in January with a mystery woman.

“They were definitely giving off couple vibes,” an onlooker said of Griffin and the woman, with whom he was seen at Soho Malibu enjoying dinner and drinks with another couple. “At one point, she put her hand in his lap, where he held her hand there for about five to 10 minutes or so.”

Added the eyewitness, “It was so subtle. They seemed very low-key together, and their holding hands looked entirely natural. They looked like they were really comfortable with each other, and they were definitely not calling any attention to themselves and the little bit of PDA that they shared.”

Towards the end of January, Jenner returned to her courtside seats at the Staples Center, where she appeared to be in good spirits at the event — smiling and encouraging Griffin as his team took on the Boston Celtics.

Her appearance at the game came days before Griffin was traded to the Detroit Pistons — which may have taken a toll on their relationship.

On Valentine’s Day, Griffin was sued for palimony by his former girlfriend Brynn Cameron — and Jenner was named in the lawsuit.

In the documents obtained by The Blast, Cameron, 31, slammed Griffin — with whom she shares two young children: son Ford Wilson and daughter Finley Elaine — alleging he “had no problem” trading her, “his former fiancée and mother of his two children, for reality television star Kendall Jenner.” Cameron, a former basketball player at the University of Southern California, said Griffin “cared more about the glamour of dating a Hollywood celebrity than the day-to-day responsibilities of being a father and a family man,” according to the docs.

Despite the suit, a source told PEOPLE at the end of February that “they’ve definitely cooled off and are taking things at a slower pace, but not because of any particular drama.”

“He got traded and isn’t local anymore, so they’ve grown apart a bit just because of distance,” said the source. “They’re still involved.”


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Inside Zayn Malik’s Private World: Going Solo, Becoming Single and Still Working Out His Relationship With Fame

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Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux Wanted to Start a Family Early in Relationship, Says Source

When Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux got engaged in 2012, they hoped their happily ever after included starting a family together.

“When Jen met Justin, she had almost given up on the idea that she would have kids,” a source close to Aniston tells PEOPLE in this week’s new cover story. “They wanted to have a baby, but it didn’t work out.”

RELATED: What’s at Stake Financially in Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s Split?

While the pair — who announced their split Thursday following over two years of marriage — were disappointed kids didn’t come into their lives, they didn’t let it devastate them. “She has been sad that it never happened,” the source says, “but it never consumed her.”

For much more on Jennifer Aniston, pick up this week’s issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

The actress, 49, and the Leftovers star, 46, were immediately attracted to each other when they worked as costars on 2012’s Wanderlust. (They’d first met on the set of 2008’s Tropic Thunder, which Theroux co-wrote).

RELATED VIDEO: Why Did Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux Split? Everything We Know About Their Breakup

“From the beginning they had amazing chemistry,” says the Aniston source.

A film source adds, “They were always affectionate, loving an deeply respectful of each other.”

RELATED: Everything We Know About Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s Split

But their divergent lifestyles and increasingly separate lives on opposite coasts — with Aniston most comfortable in Los Angeles and Theroux out and about in New York City — eventually destroyed their relationship. “They didn’t really fight,” another film-world source says. “They just did things separately.”

Now the Friends alum is “sad and disappointed,” but “seems to be okay” in the wake of the split, says the source close to her. As for her future? “She isn’t a fan of dating,” says the source, but “she is a big believer in falling in love and spending her life with a partner that loves sharing hers.”


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Kristen Bell Shares the Secrets to Her “Healthy Relationship” With Dax Shepard

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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Have Agreed to Keep Their Relationship More ‘Low Key,’ Says Source

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez haven’t been spending as much time together in public this week, but that doesn’t mean there’s any trouble between them.

“They are great and very happy,” a Bieber source tells PEOPLE, before explaining why the pair has decided to scale back the public aspect of their relationship for now.

“It just got too crazy last week with all the attention,” the Bieber source continued, referencing the couple’s multiple public outings including going to church together twice in one day, attending one of Bieber’s hockey games, and taking a leisurely bike ride together.

“Justin canceled his tour to take care of his mental health and he wants to continue to focus on this. He didn’t like the chaos,” the Bieber source said, adding that “they agreed to stay more low-key.”

A second source confirms that “everything is okay with them.”

“They just backed off a little from being out there and are being a bit more low-key,” the source continues, adding that Bieber, 23, and Gomez, 25, are still not officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet “but it’s getting close.”

RELATED VIDEO: Insider: Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez Are ‘Figuring Things Out’ But Not Boyfriend/Girlfriend Yet

Previously, an insider revealed to PEOPLE that Gomez — who first started dating Bieber in 2010 and has had a complicated relationship with him for the last seven years — had never been able to get over her first love.

“Justin was Selena’s first love. He will always have a special place in her heart,” the insider said. “She’s always held out hope that one day the circumstances and timing would be right.”

A source close to the “Sorry” singer previously told PEOPLE that he is waiting for Gomez to tell them when they’re officially back together — but he knows he still has to win over her family.

“Justin is doing great. Spending all week with Selena is the dream week for him,” a Bieber source told PEOPLE. “He is trying to take things slowly, but it hasn’t really worked. He is too excited to spend time with her.”

“He is waiting for Selena to tell him that they are officially back together. He doesn’t feel any rush, because no doubt they are already emotionally back together,” the source continued, before acknowledging that Bieber knows he still has some work to do. “Justin still needs to win her family over and he realizes it will take some time. But he very much feels he is a different person.”

The source added, “He knows what he did wrong in the past and understands that Selena deserves better. He wants to be with her and will do anything to prove he can be a great boyfriend.”


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Tyler, the Creator Deepens Relationship With Converse

Tyler, the Creator, whose real name is Tyler Okonma, is expanding his relationship with Converse.
The rapper, who worked with Vans before signing with Converse this year, has designed a new sneaker style, which is a play on the One Star silhouette, and is releasing a line of apparel. All of this product will sit under the Golf Le Fleur collection.
The sneakers, which come in green, yellow and off-white, retail for $ 100. The apparel collection includes a sherpa bomber jacket, short and bucket hat along with a pullover hoodie and graphic T-shirt. The assortment retails from $ 35 to $ 150.
The line will launch at Kasina, a streetwear concept shop in Seoul on Oct. 18. Fans can purchase his sneakers to gain access to Okonma’s performance, which will take place at MUV Hall that evening.
Okonma also designs his own line, which is called Golf Wang.

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1. Love conquers all.
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Bachelor Twins Haley & Emily Say Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi ‘Tried Very Hard to Make Their Relationship Work’

Bachelor twins Emily and Haley Ferguson are sticking up for Nick Viall.

After news broke Friday that the former Bachelor star and his final pick Vanessa Grimaldi recently ended their engagement, the reality stars — who vied for Ben Higgins‘ heart on his season of the hit ABC show and appeared on Bachelor in Paradise with Viall — opened up to PEOPLE exclusively about the sad news.

“I think it’s funny that a lot of the girls from Nick’s season claim to know Nick and his relationship with Vanessa. Emily and I were both fortunate enough to become very close to both Nick and Vanessa,” the Ferguson sisters say in a joint statement. “We hung out with them not only together but also separately.”

“They both loved each other very much and tried very hard to make their relationship work. Like any normal relationship outside of the spotlight, they had their ups and downs. We love them both very much and hope that everyone will respect their privacy during this hard time,” the statement continues.

Viall, 36, and Grimaldi have battled split rumors since their awkward appearance on After the Final Rose, where they insisted there were no wedding plans in the works.

“It’s with a great amount of heartbreak for the both us as we have decided to end our engagement,” the couple, last pictured together on Instagram Aug. 15, said in a statement obtained by PEOPLE on Friday. “We gave this relationship our all and we are saddened that we did not get the fairytale ending we hoped for. We will continue to be there for each other no matter what. This hasn’t been an easy decision, however, as we part ways, we do so with lots of love and admiration for each other.”

Viall appeared on two previous seasons of The Bachelorette and season 3 of Bachelor in Paradise before taking his turn as the lead suitor earlier this year.


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How A-Rod’s Relationship with J.Lo Is Different for the Athlete: ‘This Is Another Level,’ Says Source

J-Rod is going strong.

Over the weekend, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez hit the town in Miami, where the athlete is in town for work commitments surrounding the MLB All-Star game.

On Sunday night, Rodriguez, 41, was accompanied by Lopez, 47, as he hosted a dinner at Prime 112 for a group of friends from Fox Sports, including Joe Buck, Frank Thomas and John Smoltz. Guests dined on steak (for Rodriguez) and seafood (for Lopez) and fried Oreos and sipped on D’Usse Cognac.

“They were celebrating the All-Star game in Alex’s hometown,” says a source about the couple. “Jennifer was talking baseball with the boys.”

After dinner, the duo headed to the 1 Hotel South Beach for New Era’s MLB All-Star party. According to an onlooker, the couple ducked into the exclusive bash via a private entrance and were brought directly to a VIP room.

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Jetting between Miami and New York, the couple — who first stepped out publicly in March — are “doing great,” adds the source. “They are incredibly happy.”

According to the source, Lopez is on “another level” for Rodriguez when compared to his past girlfriends. “She’s amazing. She comes to this dinner and there are 20 people there, a lot of sports celebs and big guys in the business, and she can sit right down with them and start talking sports,” says the source. “She loves baseball.”



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This Tweet About Pet Names Could Change Your Relationship For The Better

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This Tweet About Pet Names Could Change Your Relationship For The Better

Most couples come up with pet names for each other fairly early into a relationship: Baby, babe, boo, sweetheart ― we all have our faves.

While those are all classics, there’s nothing wrong with switching things up every now and then. Last week, Twitter user @cybersygh suggested doing just that and it really caught on: 

Things escalated quickly after that, when Bela Garces (@djbbga on Twitter) showed the tweet to her boyfriend Isaac and posted his reaction:

Isaac loved the idea:

He got a little carried away but it was adorable:

Garces’ hilarious tweet quickly went viral, with over 87K reshares and 241K “likes.”

The 19-year-old told The Huffington Post she couldn’t stop laughing at the nicknames and that Isaac hasn’t stopped since. 

“It just makes me laugh every time, it’s so silly,” she said. “He calls me food names in person too, and I try to call him food names back but he’s a lot funnier. My favorite is when he calls me Colombian snacks since we’re both Colombian!”

Here are the two adorable soft tacos together, with one of their favorite foods:

After Garces’ tweet went viral, people kept the momentum going, sharing the food-related terms of endearment they’d texted their girlfriends and boyfriends:

Does it get any more romantic than “you’re more than a snack, you’re a meal?” Nope, not as far as we’re concerned.

Share your favorite snack-related pet name in the comments. 

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The Relationship Blind Spot That Could Tank Your Marriage

Beware the relationship blind spots: seemingly harmless issues that can derail a marriage if you’re not careful. Pastor John Gray of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas, has spent time counseling many married couples, and, as a married man himself, he points to one common example of a blind spot that can ruin everything: thinking that you can maintain prenuptial friendships without any changes after marriage ― especially friendships with members of the opposite sex.

As Pastor John explains, this is a relationship blind spot he knows personally. “I have somebody that’s like a sister to me. We talked all the time, we never dated… We’ve known each other 28 years,” he says. “But, unless she was friends with my wife, we couldn’t be friends anymore.”

Yes, Pastor John knows how that may sound.

“Some people are like, ‘That’s crazy. Your wife needs to get over it,’” he says. “No. Because one of the blind spots is that pre-existing relationships somehow trump your marriage. They don’t.”

If your spouse takes precedent over your parents, Pastor John reasons, why wouldn’t the same be true for a friend? “When you get married, you forsake everything else to build that,” he says. 

The key, he continues, is not to make any assumptions about how your partner may feel.

“Some spouses are okay with platonic friendships of the opposite sex, and others are not,” Pastor John says. “Deal with that blind spot, because that can became a very real point of contention later on.”

The pastor is starring in a new series on OWN, called “The Book of John Gray.” It premieres April 15, but you can watch the first episode in full right now on WatchOWN.tv. 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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7 Signs Your Relationship Is Healthy

I have often heard it said that the best partner will compliment you and bring out your finer qualities. When you are with him or her, you will begin to see untapped possibilities within yourself and in the world. However, in any relationship, you will face difficulties and your love will be tested.

That said, if your expectations are for an effortless relationship, you might be at risk for throwing in the towel at the earliest sign of any discord. Think of how many good relationships have been discarded before they matured, dismissing a life partner while searching for a soul mate.

The idea of a soul mate is romantic but also damaging because healthy relationships are developed and don’t just appear. Author Lisa Arends explains: “A fulfilling relationship occurs when both partners are open and vulnerable, creating an environment of mutual understanding, and intimacy. It takes time – often lots of time – and effort to reach this point.”

In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson, posits that we all have raw spots (in our emotional skin) that are tender to the touch and deeply painful. She writes: “A responsive partner helps us work through our painful feelings.” It is natural to feel exposed as we allow ourselves to fall in love and it takes determination to work through each partner’s vulnerabilities and wounds.

Jena and Trevor, in their mid-thirties, have navigated many challenges together such as Jena’s trust issues and emotional baggage leftover from her ex-husband’s infidelity.

Jena put it like this: “I didn’t realize how fearful I was until I was with Trevor. Because he was worth me working on myself and being aware of my mistrustful feelings. Thankfully he has been very patient, the only patient person I have dealt with. And he’s helped me to be more trusting.”

Jena and Trevor’s successful ten-year marriage illustrates how a supportive partner can help you deal with the unpredictable, ever changing aspects of life as your vulnerabilities are exposed and you face challenges or disagree.

What is the secret of finding a healthy relationship? In his book The Relationship Cure, distinguished observer of marital relations, Dr. John Gottman explains: “It’s not that these couples don’t get mad or disagree. It’s that when they disagree, they’re able to stay connected and engaged with each other. Rather than becoming defensive and hurtful, they pepper their disputes with flashes of affection, intense interest, and mutual respect.”

After all, there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Nonetheless, you might want to ask yourself this question: Is there something about the way that he or she treats me that makes me a bigger and better person? If the answer is no, ask yourself: Am I settling for less than I deserve in my relationship?

Mira Kirshenbaum’s book “Is He Mr. Right?” offers a valuable model for looking at compatibility. One of the central premises of her groundbreaking book is that chemistry is the best way to figure out if someone is right for you. Surprisingly, she’s not just talking about sexual chemistry but also the feeling that you enjoy being around your partner and have fun together.

5 Dimensions of Chemistry according to Mira Kirshenbaum:

  1. You feel comfortable with each other and it’s easy to get close. In other words, you feel you can be yourself.
  2. You feel safe in the relationship. This means that your partner doesn’t have significant mental health issues, can take care of him/herself, and you feel free to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly. You can be vulnerable and honest with your partner.
  3. It’s fun to be together. Kirshenbaum writes, “Couples who do have this dimension of chemistry going for them have a shortcut to intimacy and a buffer against the stressful times we all face.”
  4. You have real affection and passion for each other. This is where sexual chemistry comes in and it should go hand and hand with affection.
  5. You feel there’s real mutual respect. You accept, admire, and respect each other for who you are. According to Kirshenbaum, if you don’t have respect for your partner, it will eat away at chemistry until you have nothing left.

Are you wondering if you’re wasting your time with someone who is wrong for you? Here are seven signs that can help you decide if your relationship is worth pursuing.

7 signs your relationship is healthy:

  • You admire your partner for who he or she is as a person. You like and respect who they are and how they carry themselves through the world. If you can’t respect the way a person lives their life, let alone admire them, it’s hard to keep any relationship going.
  • Your partner is trustworthy. He or she calls when they say they will and follows through on promises. It’s impossible to build trust in someone who does not keep their agreements.
  • Your partner makes time for you on a regular basis. He/she makes you a priority because they value your relationship. Even when he/she is swamped, they stay in touch. This includes regular communication to show they’re thinking of you.
  • Your partner accepts you for who you are, doesn’t try to change you, and accepts responsibility for their actions. Life is messy at times. While it’s natural to assign blame when things go wrong, in a healthy relationship partners take responsibility for things they do to hurt each other, apologize, and make amends.
  • Your partner is your cheerleader and listens to you. He or she listens more than they speak. Your partner asks you questions about your hobbies, friends, and family. He/she doesn’t make you feel badly for being in a bad mood or having a tough day.
  • Your partner is affectionate. They’re comfortable holding hands and showing other signs of physical affection in private and in public.
  • Your partner talks about your future together so you can create a shared vision of your relationship. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t include you in his or her future plans. Author Howard J. Markman Ph.D. writes: “Couples can choose to protect their relationship by setting aside time to enjoy each other, renewing their sense of closeness and togetherness.”

Foster Admiration and Friendship with Your Partner

There is recent evidence that happy, lasting relationships rely on a lot more than a marriage certificate and that the secret ingredient is friendship. Look for qualities you admire in your partner and remind yourself of these admirable qualities regularly.

When it comes to matters of the heart, where admiration and respect are found, love will be sustained. But where these things are absent, love will die. Finding a partner who likes and respects you as much as you do him or her will give you the best chance of finding lasting love.

Follow Terry Gaspard on Facebook, Twitter, and movingpastdivorce.com. Terry’s book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parent’s Breakup and Enjoy a Happy Relationship was published by Sourcebooks.

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Joe Biden Makes First Public Appearance Since His Son and Daughter-in-Law’s Relationship News

Former Vice President Joe Biden stepped out in Austin, Texas, on Sunday to speak at the city’s famed SXSW festival about his Cancer Moonshot initiative.

During his appearance, Biden revealed that Cancer Moonshot — which aims to accelerate cancer research and make more therapies available to patients — began during an “off-hand comment” that he made following the 2015 death of his son Beau, who died from brain cancer.

“We want to spare what our family and what so many other families go through,” Biden said.

Since leaving the White House, Biden has kept a relatively low-profile (and is taking a well-deserved break), making only a few public appearances, including stepping out to support his daughter Ashley Biden’s debut of her clothing line last month.

As Biden himself has stepped back from the spotlight, members of his family have been thrust into it. Earlier this month, Hallie Biden, the widow of Biden’s son Beau, and Beau’s brother, Hunter Biden, confirmed that they were dating. Biden and his wife, Jill Biden, offered a statement of support to the couple at the time.

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“We are all lucky that Hunter and Hallie found each other as they were putting their lives together again after such sadness. They have mine and Jill’s full and complete support and we are happy for them.”

Hunter’s divorce proceedings from his estranged wife, Kathleen, have also made headlines. In the original February filing, Kathleen accused Hunter of spending the family’s money on prostitutes, drugs, alcohol and strip clubs.

Last week, they filed a consent motion to move forward with the divorce more amicably.


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Kristen Stewart Hated How Her Relationship With Rob Pattinson Was Turned Into A Commodity

Kristen Stewart opened up about her relationship with her former “Twilight” co-star Robert Pattinson. 

In an interview with The Sunday Times, Stewart, who was never one to share personal details about her relationship with Pattinson, said she kept things private, “because I wanted things that are mine to be mine,” not because she was trying to hide. 

The pair, who dated for more than three years, were one of the most famous celebrity couples in Hollywood. Much to Stewart’s dismay, keeping their relationship out of the public eye wasn’t really possible. 

“I hated it that details of my life were being turned into a commodity and peddled around the world. But considering I had so many eyes on me, I suddenly realized [my private life] affects a greater number of people than just me,” she said. “It was an opportunity to surrender a bit of what was mine, to make even one other person feel good about themselves.”

She continued, “If it didn’t seem like a relevant topic, like something that needed help, I would have kept my life private forever. But then I can’t walk outside holding somebody’s hand, as I’m followed everywhere. When I was dating Rob, the public were the enemy — and that is no way to live. It wasn’t this grand statement, ‘I was so confused! Now I’ve realized who I am!’ I have not been struggling.”

Stewart’s comments echo similar sentiments she gave to Elle UK in 2016. She opened up about her sexuality and explained that while she was dating men, presumably Pattinson, “everything personal felt like it was immediately trivialized.”

“It changed when I started dating a girl,” she said. “I was like, ‘Actually, to hide this provides the implication that I’m not down with it or I’m ashamed of it, so I had to alter how I approached being in public. It opened my life up and I’m so much happier.’” 

(At the time of the interview, Stewart was dating Alicia Cargile. She has also been linked to French singer Soko and musician Annie Clark, aka St. Vincent.)

Last month, during her “Saturday Night Live” hosting gig, Stewart again took control of the narrative surrounding her relationships and, for the first time ever, referred to herself as “so gay.” 

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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How to Find a Love Relationship in 2017

It’s a New Year and if you are open to finding a romantic love relationship, your horoscope could help you understand the kind of person who is most likely to make you happy and inspire your deepest loving feelings.

Did you know that your Moon Sign can tell you the type of person who will make you feel emotionally comfortable and secure on a day-to-day basis.

The Moon sign also indicates our habit patterns and gives us insights into who we can live with in harmony. After all, once the initial excitement of a new relationship wears off, we need to be with a partner who we can enjoy a happy domestic life.

While we want to find a partner we are emotionally comfortable, we also want to feel a deep love for them. That’s why our Venus Sign is important. It tells us who we will be romantically attracted to and find lovable.

When someone inspires our love, we can look beyond many of their flaws. For example, when they upset us, we may find ourselves saying, “He can really make me angry, but there is just something about him I love, even when he ticks me off!” (At the end of this article, you can learn how to find which sign your Moon and Venus are in your horoscope.)

Our Moon and Venus Tells Us About Our Emotional and Love Needs

After you learn the sign your Moon and Venus are in, look at the description below to learn about your emotional needs in a relationship and the qualities you need in another person to find them lovable. This information will help you understand the qualities of a person you will be attracted to as a romantic partner, and the type you’re most suited to have an intimate relationship of love and passion.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Aries?

You’re attracted to a bold, independent type who assertively goes after what they want (especially if it’s you). They are especially appealing if they have an impulsive nature. You’re likely to respect and encourage them to be their own person. You are turned on if they are willing to compete with you in games or sports, especially if they are capable of giving you a good match (even though you want to win). A fiery, passionate person is who will excite you. You enjoy being pursued or even seduced by them.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Taurus?

You’re attracted to an easy-going, earthy type who is affectionate and likes to cuddle and kiss. You’re especially drawn to them if they have a pleasant voice. You like a feminine female (or masculine male) and find the “scent of a woman” (or scent of man) arousing and sensual. It’s a turn on if they enjoy great food, enjoyable music, loves nature and the outdoors. You feel sensual pleasure and emotional comfort with a person who likes physical touch, affection and engaging in frequent passionate sex.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Gemini?

You’re attracted to a witty, interesting person with a quick tongue, who stimulates your mind with great conversation, and doesn’t bore you. Great communication is what’s most important to you. You’re drawn to someone who is both a good talker and good listener. Curiosity keeps you interested, so a complex person intrigues and engages you. Words are important to you, so you are sexually aroused by them, if they are the type who will flirt with you; or tell you how they feel about you with words. You enjoy talking “dirty” in the bedroom.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Cancer?

You’re attracted to a person who will comfort, care for you, and take care of your needs (i.e. who “mothers or fathers” you). It’s a plus if they reminds you of your mother. Sharing a home with a person in an intimate way makes you feel wanted and secure. You like the idea of being that person’s protector and taking care of them, too. The nostalgic part of you yearns for an “old-fashioned love relationship,” with a person who you can share a house and create a family. You’re sexually attracted to a woman with large breasts or a man with large pecs.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Leo?

You’re attracted to someone who is striking or gorgeous and whose glamorous manner make you proud to be with them. The fact that they are a bit of a drama queen (or kind) is part of what you like. You’re easily enticed by that person if they flatter your ego with compliments and praise. You need a person who makes you feel admired and respected (and never criticizes). They must make you feel like a king (or queen) by lavishing lots of attention and affection on you in an out of bed.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Virgo?

You’re attracted to a person who looks neat, well groomed and is conservatively dressed. You are drawn to someone if they are honest, intelligent, practical, modest and loyal. You look for the perfect person; if they are not perfect, you are open to fixing them to make them more perfect. You have the ability to fall in love with a person who becomes useful to you in ways that make them indispensable. You are turned sexually, if they are an earthy and skillful lover behind closed doors.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Libra?

You’re attracted to a pretty woman or a handsome man who is charming and has a feminine or masculine look. While you seek harmony in a relationship, you enjoy an occasional argument or conflict from time-to-time to keep your relationship interesting. You’re not interested in a person who is rude or crude. You are very turned onto someone if they are sensuous and romantic. The type of person you seek enjoys lighting a candle, putting on some romantic music and curling up on a couch with you, which is their invitation to make love.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Scorpio?

You’re attracted to an intense, passionate and strong-willed person who seems both mysterious and powerful. Your connection to them brings into play psychological power struggles where one or both of you vie for control. You only respect a partner who can stand up to your strong personality. You’re likely to test the person you are romantically attracted and demand absolute fidelity. Sexuality is important to your relationship, so you are enticed by the type of person who exudes a raw animal magnetism or an overly sexual appearance.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Sagittarius?

You’re attracted to a person who is smart, honest and direct with a good sense of humor. They are especially appealing if they can be playful one minute and philosophical the next. You like a person who is adventurous, into the outdoors, even athletic. You may be especially attracted to a foreigner from another culture. You need a great deal of independence, so you seek a person who will give you your freedom. You enjoy platonic friendships and casual sex until you’re totally committed.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Capricorn?

You’re attracted to a person (often younger) who you see as being socially acceptable, enhancing your status, and even boosting your career. Or, you may be attracted to a powerful career type (even an older one) who has attained great success. You are careful about taking emotional risks until you’re certain that person is seriously committed to you. You are turned on when they appear to be prim and proper in public but behind closed doors they are earthy and hot in bed.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Aquarius?

You’re attracted to a person who is independent, free-spirited and can be your friend. It’s important to you that they be intellectually interesting, opened minded and willing to try doing things they’ve never done before. They are especially exciting if they seem rather unconventional, even offbeat. You’re attracted to them if they are an idealist and even a rebel. You are not interested in a person who is a drama-queen or drama-king. Your ideal person is sexually exciting because they willing to experiment when you make love.

What If Your Moon or Venus are in Pisces?

You’re attracted to a person who is kind, romantic and emotionally sensitive, even passive. Their caring nature makes you feel secure. That person is especially appealing, if they appear mysterious or confused, yet compassionate. You are drawn to them if you see them as someone you can care for and “save,” (or who might save you). Sexually, you seek a sensuous person who is imaginative and bewitching in the bedroom, able to bring fantasy into your sex life.

Your horoscope can give you insights into your emotional needs and a better understanding of the kind of person who will inspire feelings of love within you. It can be a map that helps you find the way to that special person you are meant to love and who is meant to love you.

To learn what sign your Moon and Venus are in, use the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. It will compute your personal transits for 2017 and the planets in your birth chart. Then, make sure to scroll down to the end of the page, where you’ll see your planets and the signs they’re in. Then, match them up with the description in this article.

If you want to know more about your sign and how the planets may be bringing changes to your life, go to the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. And, if you’re curious to learn what your Horoscope says will be happening this year in such areas as your love relationships, and marriage prospects, as well as career, investments and health: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2017.

If you want to know about the planets affecting your love compatibility with another person, go to the Free Love Compatibility Calculator and enter your birth date and theirs. And, if you want a customized report on your compatibility together, order Your Love Compatibility Report.

If you want to learn more about Sun sign, go to the Free Horoscope Calculator and enter your birth date. If you want to learn about your unique personality, strengths, weaknesses and talents you were born with, order your: Personal Horoscope Report. It includes a copy of your birth chart.

If you want a Personal Daily Horoscope for your phone , click the link.

Larry Schwimmer is known as “the down-to-earth Astrologer who uses your Horoscope to solve your problems and tell your future!” He is an astrologer in private practice. For a personal consultation, contact him at: Larry@astrodecision.com or go to www.AstroDecision.com

Read Larry Schwimmer’s latest books, here

To Sign-Up for Larry’s Blog, click here

For more by Larry Schwimmer, click here.

Larry Schwimmer is president of Astrodecision.com, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the “best dates” to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: AstroDecision.com

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

J Lo and Drake ‘Seem Really Happy’ but ‘Friends Have No Idea Where the Relationship Is Going’: Source

Jennifer Lopez and Drake‘s are-they-or-aren’t-they romance continues to keep fans guessing as the two musicians spend even more time together. And a source close to both stars tells PEOPLE that they are “happy.”

“Jennifer and Drake seem really happy,” the source says. “Friends have no idea where the relationship is going.

The source continued, adding that Lopez is over her relationship with on-again, off-again beau Casper Smart.

“But the one thing that’s certain— is that there is no way she is going back to ,” the source says, citing previous reports that her former boyfriend is trying to win her back. “She moved on months ago. He keeps trying to convince her he should have another chance but that door closed months ago. That door is not only closed, it’s sealed.”

A source close to Lopez previously told PEOPLE that things are heating up for the musical pair.

“Jen is looking forward with excitement to the new year. She keeps hanging out with Drake, and he has visited her house,” the source said. “She has nothing but nice things to say about Drake.”

Last week, another insider told PEOPLE the duo were just friends and were working on music together, but also spending plenty of time together.

And while Lopez, 47, and Drake, 30, have not officially commented on their hangouts, both stars have shared photos of each other on social media.

RELATED VIDEO: Prom King and Queen Drake and Jennifer Lopez Share a Kiss

And the Lopez source said that while they “do work on music together,” the pair also “clearly enjoy each other on another level, too.”

“Jen loves the attention and she seems very happy to be spending time with him,” the Lopez source continued. “Drake is very charming. He treats Jen with lots of respect. She seems very smitten.”


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If You Have A Bad Relationship With New Year’s Eve, You’re Not Alone

New Year’s Eve, you’re always promising great things. And that’s fine for you, since I’m spending all the money and doing all the planning. By the end of the night, it’s pretty clear that nothing has changed, and we keep falling into the same traps we always do.

Comedy writers Teresa Lee and Melanie Owens, aka Wait, What?, are making a real resolution this trip around the sun: they’re breaking up with New Year’s Eve.

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11 Qualities Every Truly Happy Relationship Has In Common

Chemistry and physical attraction may have brought you and your partner together, but you need more than a spark to maintain a happy, lasting relationship.

With that in mind, we asked marriage therapists to share the one quality they believe couples need to develop in order to stay together for the long haul. Here’s what they had to say.

1. Compassion

“You have to be able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Compassion toward your partner allows him or her to feel respected, appreciated and cared for and it fuels the connection, intimacy and partnership. Think of it as the essential food that every healthy relationship needs.” ― Carin Goldstein, a marriage and family therapist in Sherman Oaks, California 

2. Compromise

“So many couples believe that a lack of problems, or the ability to anticipate and avoid them, is a key to a happy relationship. But in my experience, it’s not so much about avoiding problems so much as it is about being able to solve them together. Problems are always going to happen, just as life does. Knowing you can face them together keeps a relationship strong and healthy.” ― Alicia HClark, a psychologist in Washington, D.C.   

3. A sense of humor

“The strongest couples I’ve met have the capacity to laugh at themselves. When a partner can laugh about their own messiness or their wish to have the table set in a certain way, they can communicate what they want without turning their partner into the enemy. Laughing at ourselves instead of judging makes the journey entertaining instead of a constant battle.” ― Ryan Howes, a psychologist in Pasadena, California

4. Trust

“As a specialist in infidelity, I can tell you that trust is the most important thing in a marriage. It takes years to build and a second to break. But it’s more than just sexual fidelity. A spouse is trusted with so much: fears, vulnerabilities, painful wounds from childhood. In a good marriage, a spouse discloses these innermost thoughts and trusts that it won’t be used against them in future arguments.” ― Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist and the author of After A Good Man Cheats: How to Rebuild Trust & Intimacy with Your Wife  

5. Positivity

“We all need to be praised and appreciated but we so often get the opposite ― criticism ― even from our partner. Positivity is needed in relationships, especially ones that have grown past the honeymoon stage. Whether it’s a simple ‘thank you’ or ‘I love you’ or a specific compliment for something done, we all need to hear it. When we praise our partner we strengthen our connection, bond and love.” ― Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling for men 

6. Intimacy 

“Sexual and emotional intimacy is the bright shiny star of relationships. Intimacy is the difference between your relationship with your barista and your relationship with your spouse. You build intimacy over time. Intimacy is the feeling of belonging and being loved. It’s the feeling of being known and understood. It’s the feeling of being accepted and appreciated. If you have ever experienced or heard someone describe their relationship as hollow or empty, it’s probably because it’s lacking intimacy.” ― Laura Heck, a marriage and family therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah

7. Mutual respect

“Life tends to throw some unexpected curveballs along the course of a relationship. The one quality that consistently helps couples through adversity or tragedy is mutual respect. Self-esteem is essential to feel secure and satisfied with yourself so it makes sense that a high esteem and respect for your partner is an essential ingredient in a lasting relationship, both in joyous and challenging times.” ―  Elisabeth J. LaMotte, a psychotherapist and founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Cente

8.  Presence

“Being present is more than just putting down your devices and paying attention ― it’s showing that you’re deeply interested in the inner life of your partner and want to make their world better in any way you can. Being present means freely giving your partner the gift of your full focus and being there for them in a way that’s deeper than just being physically present. It means seeing things from their point of view and not just your own.” ― Debra Campbell, a psychologist and couple’s therapist in Melbourne, Australia

9. Love

“You need to love, honor and cherish one another. These vows are what keep people together happily over the long term. Here’s a brief rundown on what each mean: ‘To love’ means you demonstrate your love. Love is a verb ― an action word. There is no other way to show your spouse you love them except through action. We love through physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and gifts. ‘To honor’ is to respect the one you love. You approach them in conversation in a way that shows you want the best for them and don’t want to harm them. ‘To cherish’ means to show your S.O. how much you value them. You treat them as the special person they are – your one and only.” Becky Whetstone, a marriage family therapist in Little Rock, Arkansas  

10. Understanding

“There’s no problem you can’t resolve when you’re listening to each other and acting like a team. Create regular times during the week when you can talk uninterrupted and don’t let a week go by without a date night. Keep listening and understanding each other. Every ounce of listening effort will pay off tenfold.” ― M. Gary Neuman, a psychotherapist based in Miami Beach, Florida

11.  Friendship

“Couples who are good friends know each other well, give each other the benefit of the doubt and are fond of one another. When you take the time to strengthen your friendship, you’re more successful long-term. Making friendship a priority will help you weather any storm that comes your way.” ― Danielle Kepler, a therapist in Chicago, Illinois

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If You’re Thinking of Using This Tinder-Hacking Site, Your Relationship Is Probably Already Over

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15 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

Being in love is great and all, but what you really need for a lasting, healthy relationship is a solid, compatible partner. Here, experts share 15 things that happy, thriving couples have in common.

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Feeling phone-verwhelmed? 5 tips to create a healthier, happier relationship with your smartphone.

Not long ago, I was chatting with a friend who lives in Oregon, USA, and she told me a story that I could completely relate to — because I’ve seen it play out in Hawaii, where I live.

My friend was having brunch at a popular local restaurant — she had waited an hour just to get a table — and while waiting for their food to arrive, she and her boyfriend noticed something troubling.

All around the restaurant — with very few exceptions — people were intensely focused on their phones. Texting. Tweeting. Posting pics of delicious food on Instagram. Scrolling through various feeds while glancing at their dining companions over the top of their screens. Multiple phones at every table. If someone wasn’t actively using their phone, they had it sitting flat on the table or tucked right in their lap — ready to grab!

“It was crazy!” my friend exclaimed. “Everyone waited so long to get inside, and once they sat down, instead of enjoying the food, the ambience, or their friends, they were totally focused on their phones. When did our society become so… phone-obsessed?”

I laughed, nodding my head. I’ve seen the exact same “scene,” too, so many times. Whether it’s at a public restaurant, a coffee shop, waiting in line at the airport or bank, or around the family dinner table, millions and millions of people are — as my friend put it — extremely “phone-obsessed.”

Sadly, this epidemic just seems to be getting worse.

In recent years, more and more parents have set up coaching sessions with me because they’re concerned about their kids’ relationship with technology.

“I can barely remember the last time I saw my teenager without a phone in her hand,” one mom said to me. “She texts so much, her phone is practically a part of her body.”

So many people — parents and kids alike — are feeling burnt out and “phone-verwhelmed.” Many of us yearn for a “simpler time” when smartphones didn’t exist — yet, at the same time, we’re grateful for the solutions and timesaving tools they provide. (GPS to help you navigate an unfamiliar neighborhood, anywhere in the world? Amazing!)

Smartphones definitely aren’t “evil” or “bad,” but people of all ages are struggling to find a “balance” and it’s becoming problematic. What’s the solution?

You’ll be happy to know: you don’t necessarily need to flush your brand new iPhone down the toilet or vow to never, ever tweet again. Things don’t have to be that black or white. But you can take specific steps to create a healthier, more balanced relationship with your phone — and all forms of technology, for that matter.

Here are 5 simple steps that I suggest:

1. Make a plan. If you want to earn a college degree, you don’t just wander through a university waltzing into various lectures and jotting down notes at random. You make a plan. You select specific classes happening at specific times and you attend them. This keeps you on track, moving steadily towards your goal.

You can apply that same logic to your smartphone usage. Choose specific times (say, 8am, 12pm, and 4pm) when you intend to “check in” to read texts, social media updates, and so on, and then do your best to stick to the plan. Try not to just “wing it.” Create phone-routines that help you to create the kind of day (and life) that you want.

2. Savor the sound of silence. If your phone is continually bleeping and pinging every time “something happens,” it’s going to be tough for you to stay focused on whatever you’re trying to do — you’ll be tempted to check in and see what’s up!

This may seem obvious, but turn off those noisy notifications. Better yet, turn the volume on your phone down to zero or power-down your phone completely.

If you’re concerned that you might miss something important — like an emergency phone call from your spouse, parent, or your child’s school — you can create a “call filter” so that certain people’s calls come through even if your phone is on “silent.” That way you can rest easy, knowing that you will never miss something that is truly urgent.

3. Make dinnertime a phone-free zone. For many couples and families, dinnertime is the only time of the day when everyone is gathered together in one place. Make dinner a special, sacred time. No phones at the table.

If people get restless or bored, strike up an interesting conversation by playing a question game (like asking, “What was the best part of your day?” or “What was the toughest part of your day?”) and take turns telling stories. Even if you’re dining alone, set your laptop or phone aside and savor your meal without techie distractions.

4. Enjoy phone-free adventures. A few times a week, try leaving your phone safely at home. Go for a phone-free walk with your dog… a phone-free date with your sweetheart… or a phone-free trip to the grocery story. When was the last time you did that?

See how it feels to move freely through the world without any kind of digital “companion” to keep you company. What kinds of feelings bubble up for you, positive or negative? Take note. No matter what kinds of feelings come up, taking some phone-free time is a valuable experience that can teach you a lot about yourself.

5. Ask yourself, “What am I craving right now?” My colleague Susan Hyatt — a fellow life coach — often poses this question to her clients. It’s a great one! When you feel the urge to check your phone, and you don’t really “need” to, pause for moment. Check in with yourself and see what you are craving.
Do you crave company? Do you want some excitement or entertainment? Inspiration? Connection with a friend? Energy to get through the rest of your day? Are you craving attention or affection? Laughter? Love?

Whatever you crave, see if you can find a non-phone-related way to give it to yourself.

Talk a walk or pop by a friend’s house just to say “hi.” Write a handwritten letter. Go for a jog. Listen to music. Sit and gaze at the sky or the ocean. Read a book. Feed your spirit in some other way.

After satisfying your cravings out in the “real world,” you may discover that whatever is going on in the “phone-world” just isn’t that compelling anymore.

There are so many ways to build a happy, balanced relationship with technology.

These 5 tips are just a few of my personal favorites.

What strategies have you discovered? What works best for you? What’s your favorite part about smartphone technology and what’s your least favorite aspect? Do you think your life would be better, the same, or worse, if smartphones had never been invented?

Talk about these questions with people you love… say, around the dinner table tonight.

Just scoot the phones off the table, first. You’ll all be glad that you did.


Dr. Suzanne Gelb is a clinical psychologist, life coach and family law attorney.

She believes that it is never too late to become the person you want to be. Strong. Confident. Calm. Creative. Free of all of the burdens that have held you back — no matter what has happened in the past.

Her insights on personal growth have been featured on more than 200 radio programs, 200 TV interviews and online at Time, Forbes, Newsweek, NBC’s Today, The Daily Love, MindBodyGreen, and much more.

Step into her virtual office at DrSuzanneGelb.com, explore her blog, book a coaching session, wave hello on Twitter and Facebook, and / or sign up to receive a free meditation and her weekly writings on health, happiness and self-respect.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always contact your health practitioner before beginning any new health or well-being practice for yourself or your family.

photo credit: Everyone Check Your Phones – NYC via photopin (license)

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8 Signs Your Relationship Is Built To Last

I was watching an old dating show recently that was almost like ‘The Dating Game’ where someone would choose a contestant based on their credentials (for lack of a better term), and then narrow down one person of the three to go on a date with.

More than once, the people decided to not even go on a date because they were just so different from each other on paper. While some personality differences are beneficial to relationships, I sometimes wonder to myself how many unhappy relationships wouldn’t have began in the first place if people were a little more discerning about who they end up with.

But rather than taking a negative approach to the discussion — I wanted to lay out five points that show you are headed in the right direction.

You fully support each other.

Whether or not you share each others’ passions or life ambitions, when you truly care about someone you want to see them succeed and be happy in whatever they love. This means standing beside them, not in their way, when they dedicate effort towards pursuing a goal.

You deeply respect each other.

This one needs no explanation — mutual respect between partners in a relationship is paramount to its success. Honesty, trust, friendship, and intimacy all grow from this foundation. Without respect, there is nothing else.

You are willing to compromise for each other.

While of course you should be compatible with your teammate, that doesn’t mean that you will automatically love every single thing they love, and vice versa. If you truly care for someone and their happiness, you will be willing to watch, do, see, and experience things they enjoy, as they would do for you in return.

Without compromise, we can easily find our relationships resembling a see-saw with a huge boulder on one side, the distribution never shifts.

In this case, the boulder represents the wants and needs of one partner. There should be an equal amount of balance in order to keep you both happy and satisfied.

You are similarly ambitious.

We can’t expect our significant other to have an identical plan for their future as we do (See: Compromise and mutual support), but it is reasonable to desire similarities when building a life with someone.

Like any team, as a relationship is, the results are best when the members are working towards a common goal together. This goal could even be something so simple as self-improvement. If one teammate is dedicating their life to personal growth, and the other is content with how things are and never displays a desire for change, then this can easily create resentment and tension over time.

You can trust your partner with anything.

I’m not sure why this one is so difficult to grasp, but if your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to go out with their friends who they haven’t seen in awhile, what’s the harm? A solid relationship won’t be shaken by this simple act and you’ll know they’ll be back in your arms at the end of the night or the next day. Nothing to see here, kids — move along.

If your partner doesn’t trust you, and you’ve given them no reason to feel this way, it is possible they are projecting their own infidelities or insecurities onto you.

In the “ultimate” relationship, both partners have earned each others’ trust and would never do anything to betray it.

You never judge each other.

Happiness in a relationship comes from two teammates who are able to be open and honest with each other. That honesty comes from being comfortable to open up and know that you will not be judged.

When you’re sharing your life with someone, there is no room for discomfort, secrets, or lies. Especially secrets or lies that are forced by the inability to be genuine with your teammate.

The right person for you will support and encourage you on your journey to becoming the person you want to be, but they will also love you as the person you already are — no judgment allowed.

You communicate effectively.

It’s natural to face conflicts when you spend a lot of time with any person, but a healthy relationship will resolve any issues by discussing their opinions and stances in order to understand each other better and reach a solution they both agree on. Frequent nasty, vindictive fights are a sign to re-evaluate your ‘relationship.’

You never lose sight of the little things.

The small things you do for someone are what count the most. These are the actions that show your partner that you’re willing to put in effort for them, just because. No special occasion or holiday required. You don’t need a schedule to show someone you love them.

A happy, healthy relationship will consist of two partners willing to put in equal effort, consistently. Great relationships are not about give and take, they’re about give and give.

When these little things start to fade is when the strength of the relationship will start to become more questionable. Do they really appreciate you? Do they still care as much as they once did? Is our relationship becoming stronger over time, or weaker?

Once you start asking yourself these questions, it is time to address them and find real answers.


Every person who reads this will have a different image of their “ultimate” relationship in their mind. The key thing is to understand that it is possible to achieve, as long as both teammates are willing to put in the effort to uphold the integrity of the wants and desires.

Does it sound like work? That’s because relationships can be — but that’s what makes the great ones so rewarding.

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This Comic Captures The Two Types Of People In Every Relationship

In any relationship, there are two kinds of people: the one who orders the side of fries and the one who claims he or she doesn’t want any, and then promptly goes to town as soon as it arrives. 

Cartoonist Adrienne Hedger of Hedger Humor self-identifies as the second type. 

“I never order French fries because I think I don’t want all those fries,” she told The Huffington Post. “So I just tell my husband, ‘I’ll have a taste of yours.’ And in the moment, that’s my honest intention. Just a few — maybe five — fries. And the next thing you know, you’ve eaten half the fries.” 

Hedger recently created a hilariously relatable comic that captures this all-too-common dynamic. Check it out below:


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5 Ways to Show Your Appreciation to Your Partner (and Save Your Relationship in the Process)


Appreciating your partner on a daily basis is a great way to protect your long-term relationship from any number of bummers: cooling off, infidelity, breakups, etc. There are no guarantees, of course: that’s just not the way life and love work. But doing your best to be good to the one you love — and to make them feel good, at least once a day — is a pretty good way to bolster long-term fidelity (however you define “fidelity” in your own personal relationship). Because, let’s face it, fidelity could use a little help these days.

Here are five ways to demonstrate your appreciation to your partner — in other words, this is how to remind your partner that you still notice them. Trust us, noticing goes a long way in a relationship.

1) Notice the Little Things
In the division of household labor, perhaps you always load and unload the dishwasher and your partner always does the laundry. Perhaps you mow the lawn and your partner cleans the bathrooms. But just because you have established a fair breakdown of chores that demonstrates the admirable equality in your relationship, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be grateful. So say thank you for these things. You can say, “Thank you for folding my clothes better than a Gap salesperson,” or you can say, “Thank you for always doing more than your share around the house,” or you can say, “Wow! The lawn looks amazing!” You get the idea. Those chores can become, well, a chore over the years, and everyone assumes that their partner doesn’t notice the jobs they do that are solely their responsibility. Make a point to notice this stuff.

2) Notice the Big Things
Sure, you can say, “Thank you for driving the kids to the bus today,” or “Wow, you must be tired after working all those extra hours this week.” But it’s also nice to go bigger picture sometimes, too. Think: “When I fell in love with you, I believed you’d make an amazing mom/dad. But I didn’t know quite how much you’d rock this role.” Or, “I know you’d rather be writing a screenplay/trying out for a reality TV show/doing CrossFit full-time, but I really appreciate you working for a sucky boss so we can, you know, eat and stuff.” Or, “You have no idea how it improves my mood each morning when you make that awesome pour-over coffee.” Or, “I don’t know how you attend so many kids’ birthday parties, you must be some kind of saint.”

3) Support Your Partner’s Passions
Speaking of that screenplay or that reality TV show or that CrossFit obsession: make time in your relationship to support your partner’s true passions. Many of us — most of us? — aren’t lucky enough to get paid to do what we really love, so do this for each other, instead.  Tell your partner, “Why don’t [fill in the blank: I take the kids/we skip church/you bag your house chores] on Sunday morning, so you can work on your novel/paint/scrapbook/paddle-board/ballroom-dance.” Giving your partner time to pursue these beloved hobbies shows that you still care about their happiness and satisfaction, and that you respect their talents and passions.

4) Compliment Your Partner
It’s simple, basic and old-school, but that doesn’t mean that anyone tires of being complimented on their looks, especially when they’re in a long-term relationship and are not getting that regular flirtatious feedback via the pickup scene. Try, “You look so beautiful this morning.” Or, “You’re hotter than when I met you.” Or, “I love the way your ass looks in those jeans.” And yes, this is a gender-neutral recommendation — men need to hear this stuff just as much as the ladies.

5) Date Your Partner
Life is hard, and life keeps you busy, especially when you’re married with kids. But life was hard and busy in its own way back when you were dating, and you still found time to do stuff and plan stuff then. Make a dinner reservation somewhere. Bring, yes, flowers. (It’s not a cliche if you never do it, right?) Dress up a bit when you go out together (that includes the dudes, too). Come up with new ideas/positions/toys to try out in bed. Send sexy texts. Send romantic texts. Read out loud to each other in bed (not necessarily erotica, though that’s cool, too). Discuss culture, politics and your hopes and dreams as well as day-to-day logistics. Make a five-year plan together, and a ten-year plan and a twenty-year plan. And make sure that these plans include big dreams and life goals as well as the practical stuff like saving for kids’ college educations. Most of all, though: ask your partner questions, and really listen to their answers. It’s called conversation. Remember it?

Want more appreciation tips?

10 Things to Say to Your Partner Instead of “I Love You”

photo via Pixabay

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A Good Relationship Versus A Bad Relationship In One Comic

One way to know you’re in the right relationship? Your spouse finds your little quirks and odd habits endearing rather than embarrassing. 

Cartoonist Sarah Andersen of the website Sarah’s Scribbles highlights that important distinction between a good relationship and a crappy one in the cute comic below: 

Also on HuffPost:

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A Good Relationship Versus A Bad Relationship In One Comic

One way to know you’re in the right relationship? Your spouse finds your little quirks and odd habits endearing rather than embarrassing. 

Cartoonist Sarah Andersen of the website Sarah’s Scribbles highlights that important distinction between a good relationship and a crappy one in the cute comic below: 

Also on HuffPost:

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4 Things We’ve Learned to NEVER Do in a Relationship Thanks to House Hunters

Literally everything you need to know about how passive aggression can destroy relationships can be learned from watching House Hunters and its many iterations, which we realized while viewing House Hunters International: London (currently available…

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Why Mind Reading Is Detrimental to Your Relationship

Photo By: Hartwig HKD

Many of us believe we’ve got other people figured out.

We think we understand their motivation. Rattling off a list of their actions, including all our assumed rationale behind what they do, and drawing conclusions without actually talking to them.

We’re mind readers.

I remember as a kid, my mother spent a great deal of time being angry with my father. She saw him as a workaholic and preferring his business, to spending time with the family. This dynamic was my kid-like perception of their relationship. I took it for granted that she always had him figured out. She was right, he was wrong.

It wasn’t until years later, I realized I never asked my Dad his motivation for working long hours, beyond assuming it was to provide for his family. I had no idea how he actually felt or his deeper drive, but I knew how my mother felt and that was definitely not happy.

I wondered if she ever understood his motivation, if she did, wouldn’t she take it less personally? Wouldn’t she understand more, or make different choices rather than make him the bad guy? Maybe assuming or reading his mind suited her position better.

Not having a clue, I took that modeling with me into many relationships.

Thinking I knew my mate better than they knew themselves I assumed a lot of the time and suffered, because I gave their words and actions my own meaning and took it personally. Assuming without asking or understanding. I was right, they were wrong.

In my mind I had them pegged! Friends and family would agree with me and take my side.

It didn’t serve me. I didn’t win and I didn’t get what I wanted, except the reassurance from others, that I was right.

I never really understood what my past partners’ motivation was for actions that upset me. I never asked a direct question, because I was afraid. I couldn’t handle honest communication. It goes the same for many of my clients and others I’ve met, thinking we know it all, when it comes to our partners.

It’s actually a sign, we don’t know ourselves and don’t want the truth.

If we sit in judgment of someone and believe we’re perfect, or we think our reasons are substantial and their defense weak, our relationships are always going to be fraught with drama. We’re shirking responsibility. We’re making the focus the other person. It keeps emotional intimacy at bay, builds resentment and creates distance.

We’re too busy figuring out their motivation, so we don’t look at our own. It keeps us suspended in a state of reaction to something made up in our head. The false illusion is no one can hurt us or perhaps, we’ll remain in control.

Figuring out our partner can give us a false sense of security, inevitably they’ll do or say something unexpectedly, throwing our world into turmoil. Now, if we trust ourselves to handle whatever comes our way, we’re in a state of good feeling — even if the s**t hits the fan!

Isn’t the goal in a relationship about loving our mate and loving ourselves?

A few keys to getting closer rather than practicing ineffective mind-reading skills:

1. Connection.

Asking ourselves what’s really brewing inside of us, rather than decoding our partners’ words and actions. If we focus on our stuff and doing things to promote self-love, we have more of it to give, instead of looking for reasons to squelch it from our lives.

2. Communicate honestly.

Communicate our true emotional state, desires and motivation. No matter what, we can speak from a heart-centered space, rather than making up a story in our head, which may feel comfortable but drives a wedge.

3. Remember, we are our own problem.

We look at the other person as the problem. And it’s just not true. Basing their motivation on our story of them, rather than taking responsibility, means we’ll repeat the blame game in other relationships.

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5 Times Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris Gave Us Major Relationship Goals

Since it's July Fourth weekend and summer is (sadly) half over, we're ready to call it: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris are officially *the* couple of the season. And with each passing social media post,…

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Holly Madison On Her ‘Weird’ Relationship With Kendra Wilkinson

For years, Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson seemed to be part of a secret sisterhood. But a lot has changed since the women ended their relationships with Hugh Hefner, and the former stars of “The Girls Next Door” have opened up about what life was really like at the Playboy Mansion.

Madison and Wilkinson have been trading barbs since writing their dueling memoirs, with Wilkinson recently saying Madison published her new tell-all book, Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, for “revenge.”

Madison has her own view. In the above clip from her upcoming interview on “Oprah: Where Are They Now?,” she discusses how her relationship with Wilkinson has changed over the years.

“Kendra’s and my relationship has definitely been weird,” Madison says in the above video. “I feel like, over the years, I’ve known like three different people.”

holly madison and kendra wilkinson

When they first met, Madison says Wilkinson “started off as this girl who seemed nice.”

In 2005, “The Girls Next Door” premiered to huge ratings on E! and Madison and Wilkinson became household names. The breakout hit focused on lives of Hefner’s then-girlfriends, Madison, Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt. For five seasons, cameras documented the drama that unfolded inside the Playboy Mansion walls.

Madison says Wilkinson changed into “this girl who’s not a girl’s girl and is very competitive and pushes away other girls.”

holly madison and kendra wilkinson

By 2009, all three women had left the mansion and ended their relationships with Hefner. Wilkinson married former wide receiver Hank Baskett in 2009 and Madison went on to marry Pasquale Rotella in 2013.

“When she met her husband she was very nice and seemed to have grown into this really different person,” Madison says.

kendra wilkinson and hank baskett

But once again, their friendship didn’t last. “And then later down the road we had a falling out, so it’s been all over the place,” she says. “I want viewers to pick up the book and read the whole story.”

Madison’s memoir, Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, is available now.

“Oprah: Where Are They Now?” airs Saturdays at 10 p.m. ET on OWN.

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Diplo Says Selena Gomez’s Relationship With Zedd Is ‘Fake’

Rumors of a romance between Selena Gomez and Zedd have been swirling since earlier this year, and while neither the singer nor the DJ have confirmed their relationship, producer Diplo thinks it’s all a publicity stunt.

When Radio.com asked Diplo about his harsh Twitter comments on Zedd’s latest album, the American DJ and producer spoke freely about his German colleague, saying that Zedd’s rumored relationship with the 22-year-old is merely a marketing move:

I’m actually not enemies with Zedd by any means. I just think that he came from such a cool place, and now he’s been pegged as a money-maker for a major label to do EDM, which to me isn’t even a genre. But they’ve pegged him for that, they’ve marketed him, even the fake relationship with Selena Gomez, all the things to sell records took away from the music.

Gomez caused a stir in February after sharing an Instagram photo of herself embracing Zedd. She again fueled the fire after gushing about her rumored beau to Radio Disney, calling Zedd “very cute and funny.”

Diplo playfully teased Gomez when he tagged her in a Twitter photo of himself hugging Zedd, to which the “Love You Like A Love Song” singer had an equally playful response:

Around the same time, Gomez and Zedd released a new song together, “I Want You To Know.” Publicity stunt or perfect timing? Hmm.

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5 Ways Mindfulness Can Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship

Think of your marriage like a bank account: pay into it often with acts of kindness and generosity and it’ll help your relationship no end. High50 wellbeing coach Alex Blossom explains how.

Relationship problems come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it might feel as though the spark has gone. It might be that you are going through a stage where you feel irritable and frustrated or you could be feeling neglected or hurt in some way.

Whatever the problem, mindfulness can help you to get through the most tricky of times. These five mindful relationship fixes will help you get back on track.

1. Learn To Listen

Really taking time to listen to your partner can make all the difference. Take time to be genuinely interested in what they have to say. It is so easy to get caught up in our own little world, we can become consumed by our own thoughts and feelings.

When we learn to listen we find out things that we didn’t know, even when we have been together for a long time. By turning our attention outwards, we clear a little bit of head space and make some room for our partner.

2. Just Be

It is so easy to slip into trying to change our partners, wishing that they were different. We can hear ourselves nagging: we don’t want to do it, but sometimes holding our tongue can seem impossible.

Before you jump in and criticize your partner always, take a few deep breaths. Really think about what you will achieve by making a comment. When you next sit down for a meal together try listing five things that you love about each other.

The conversation this creates will get you thinking and feeling more positively.

3. Feel

Touch is a really important sensation, but so often we lose the closeness that we had in the early days of our relationship.

Rather than cuddling up to each other we become protective of our space, bickering over sides of the bed. Rather than taking time to kiss each other when we say goodbye in the morning our minds are perhaps already at work dealing with a situation.

So take the time to really feel next time you and your partner have physical contact. Notice the sensation of warmth and contact and enjoy the closeness, even if only for a moment.

4. Be Compassionate

If your partner is going through a tough time then put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how things are for them. Think about what you would want in their situation: it will make a huge difference.

When you learn to look at things from their perspective you can gain a real understanding of their behavior. When you get to grips with what is going on for your partner everything will seem easier. So many relationship problems stem from a lack of understanding.

5. Invest

Think of your relationship like a bank account. Making withdrawals all the time will leave you in deficit and things can start to look bleak. Paying in more often with acts of kindness and generosity will leave you feeling positive and secure.

Giving to your partner really can make you happy. While your attention is on seeking out an opportunity for kindness it is not consumed by worrying thoughts. You will be free to get on and enjoy life.

Alex Blossom offers mindfulness and wellbeing coaching through private sessions and day retreats. Revitalisedays.co.uk

Related Articles From High50

Can Mindfulness Improve Your Sex Life?

We Haven’t Had Sex For Years And Our Marriage Is Better For It

24 Years Married: Here Are 14 Tips On How To Make A Grown-Up Relationship Last

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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5 Things to Do Today to Save Your Relationship

The decline of a relationship is an awful thing to experience. More often than not, the process starts slowly, and we hardly notice little ways we may be pulling back or growing apart. Eventually, negative dynamics start to evolve, then persist for so long that we have trouble knowing where to start when it comes to repairing the relationship.

When thinking about where things went wrong, it’s important to recognize that a lot of what we do to ruin our relationships has to do with us. Much of how we act is based on programming from our past and defenses we’ve built that cause us to overreact, distort or even provoke the people we feel closest to. Because the only person we can control or change in a relationship is ourselves, it’s almost always worth it to do what we can to develop ourselves before we throw in the towel with our partner.

When things get complicated with someone we love, sometimes the best thing to do is go back to the basics and keep things simple. We can start by setting aside that giant case we’ve long built against our partner and starting fresh with simple acts of kindness, affection and love. This doesn’t mean living in a fantasy or avoiding dealing with real issues, but it’s a means of reconnecting with warm, loving feelings we may have cast aside. It’s a quest to reignite what worked about the relationship, so we and our partner are on the same team and in a better place when it comes to dealing with problems. Here are five things that can help any couple turn this important corner.

1. Express love in a way your partner would experience as loving
This may not sound like a very specific or especially scientific suggestion, but so often we forget to attune to our partner and do the things we know make them feel loved. Particularly when there’s tension in the relationship, we tend to focus on what we’re getting (or not getting) over what we’re giving. We build a case against our partner, and as a defense, we withhold our affections and resist being open and vulnerable.

The more distance created, the more ready we are to feel critical or put our guard up. We start to live more inwardly, getting in our own heads, quantifying, judging or indulging in a tit-for-tat mentality about what our partner does and doesn’t do for us. The truth is, it feels really good to be loving. Studies even show that people get more pleasure from giving than receiving. It’s important to pay attention to our partner and engage in kind actions that he or she would perceive as being cared for. For instance, getting flowers or going out to dinner may feel like romantic gestures to us, but to our partner, they may prefer taking some time to joke around or be affectionate. Try to offer something that you know will have unique value to them. Engaging in such loving acts actually makes us feel more in love.

2. Be affectionate
Most couples wonder how they went from not being able to keep their hands off each other to rarely making physical contact. Unfortunately, society tends to justify this pattern, reinforcing the idea that long-term couples are unsuitable for “puppy love” or PDA. Yet, this elimination of affection is a sad and slow progression that often starts when a couple transitions from being a “you” and a “me” to becoming a “we.” Of course, finding a connection with someone is thrilling and meaningful, but losing yourself and your separate identity in the mix is paving a dangerous road. People feel most attracted to their partner when they see them as someone separate from themselves, someone they are able to love, respect and appreciate for their unique qualities.

When couples replace substance (real acts of love) with form (the practical roles of being in a relationship), they enter into a “fantasy bond.” This bond represents an illusion of connection that actually kills off passion and attraction. We can keep the spark alive by refusing to give up our own, natural desire to express love on a physical level. Hold hands, kiss in public, sit close on the couch, touch casually in passing, and you’ll be surprised to see the depths of desire and feelings of intimacy that arise.

3. Slow down
We hear these two words all the time, but we rarely live by them. For most of us slowing down means plopping on the couch or zoning out to the TV the minute our chaotic to-do list is done. No matter how hectic our schedule, there are ways to take pause within our own minds and reconnect with ourselves throughout the day. Mindfulness provides a way of checking in with ourselves, which is one of interpersonal neurobiology expert Dr. Daniel Siegel‘s essential aspects on his “healthy mind platter.”

Mindfulness allows us to breathe and be present in the moment. In these times of reconnection, we are not only more in touch with ourselves, but we are better able to recognize and be attuned to our partner. We are more mindful of our actions toward them. We are also more aware of our feelings of desire and attraction.

When we are more present, we can make an effort to really connect, communicate and make eye contact. Again, this may feel like a no-brainer, but in truth, looking each other in the eye is one of the things we forget to do on a daily basis. Just looking at our partner and really seeing him or her as a whole person, separate from ourselves, can further rekindle our empathy, interest and attraction.

4. Try something old
As a relationship advances, it becomes all too easy to make excuses not to make time for each other. When we do get together, we may do things out of a sense of form or obligation. Relationships tend to start fizzling out when we stop sharing the lively things we used to share with our partner. Moreover, once things start to fizzle out, we become even less inclined to share these activities. The cycle that’s created forces more and more distance between partners. We can challenge this by making a commitment to take part in activities we and our partner used to share and enjoy together. If we used to go on walks, we shouldn’t let a long workday dissuade us from getting outside. Participating in activities that light us up or that light our partner up helps us stay close with our partner, while feeling the most ourselves.

5. Try something new
When people first get together, they often grow each other’s worlds, introducing each other to new people, places, interests and activities. When we fall in love, we are in a state in which we feel the most open and alive. As our relationship progresses, and the more we replace real love with a fantasy bond, the more we tend to resist anything new. Especially as we get older, we can become more self-protective or further drawn to routine. We may start to feel more entitled to our partner or more jealous or possessive and, therefore, put restrictions on each other. In effect, we start to limit or shrink each other’s worlds, rather than expanding them. We can keep love alive by continuing to be game to try new things. The more adventures we can create with each other in our day-to-day lives, the more awake we will feel to everything we experience, particularly intimacy and closeness.

In almost every relationship, there comes a time when we are challenged to the point of questioning whether to walk away. In fact when I interviewed my friend Jim Gilligan, who has been married to his wife Carol for almost 50 years, he said “you are not really married until you realize you can leave, and you don’t.” I encourage every couple I meet who has ever felt truly happy and alive with each other, who once felt like the best version of themselves, while being in the relationship, to stick in there and try to develop themselves. Otherwise, they are very likely to repeat the same patterns in yet another situation, perhaps one that isn’t even as meaningful or rewarding.

Relationships are a great place to work on ourselves. There is no harm in trying each of the above steps, as you truly have nothing to lose. The worst case scenario is that you will have grown your own capacity to be loving, vulnerable, passionate and lively. The best case scenario is that you and your partner will grow closer and rekindle your loving feelings for each other.

Read more from Dr. Lisa Firestone at PsychAlive.org

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Customer Relationship Management Systems Handbook

Customer Relationship Management Systems Handbook

THE CUSTOMER TODAY Who is the Customer? A Shifting Paradigm A New Look For Marketing Customer Feedback Managing Relationships: The CRM Solution The Stages of a CRM Strategy THE EVOLUTION OF CUSTOMER RELATIONS TO CRM Planning Strategies for Managing Customer Information The CRM Planning Phase CRM Strategy: From Planning to Development A Twelve-Stage CRM Strategy Applying the CRM Strategy CRM Issues, Tactics, and Methodologies Two-Way Dialog: Customer Input to CRM Testing and Evaluating CRM Solutions Managing the CRM Program CRM Analytics in Data Mining CRM: Summing Up the Business Value THE TECHNOLOGY OF CRM An Overview of the Data Warehouse Design and Construction of a Data Warehouse Data Marts in the Real World Avoiding the Pitfalls of Data Warehousing The Data Warehouse Development Process The Operational Data Warehouse Data Warehousing Computer Platforms Data Warehousing and CRM: Managing the Project Data Warehouse Development: One Vendor’s Methodology Elements of Database Technology The Business Tools: Analytical CRM Data Warehousing Architectures: Options Implementing the Enterprise Data Warehouse Decision Support Systems and Data Warehousing Database Management Systems From Data Warehousing to Data Mining Data Consistency and Quality Managerial and Organizational Impacts of Data Warehousing Vendors with CRM Technology Conclusion CASE STUDIES IN CRM Automotive Communications Energy Entertainment Financial Institutions Fund-Raising Healthcare Insurance Investment Packaging Recruiting and Training Retail Technology Transportation and Travel Wholesale Analyzing Case Studies for Maximum Benefit PRIVACY IN CRM Data Privacy Government Initiatives CRM: Opportunities to Address Privacy Concerns P3P Standard and Definitions Industry Support for Privacy Initiatives Protecting Personal Privacy in CRM BENEFITS OF CRM Benefits of CRM by Business Sector The General Value of CRM Determining the ROI for a CRM Solution The Ultimate Benefits of CRM Appendix A: Glossary of CRM and Data Warehouse Terminology Appendix B: References and Bibliography Index
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Want a Lasting Relationship? Embrace This One Agreement

The other night I had dinner with a friend and she asked me about the agreements my husband and I had made when we decided our relationship would be different from anything either of us had ever had before.

Listening to her question, I was suddenly silent but then I remembered.

It was shortly after he and I had confessed our love to one another and were discussing our future.

“If we’re going to be together it has to be totally different from anything we’ve ever had before,” I’d offered. “So many relationships end up being about power or control and I don’t want that anymore.”

He’d agreed and added, “Most relationships are based on conditional love, too. The ‘you only love me because.’ Those end up being about tearing each other down.”

“Can’t there be another way? Another kind of relationship that lifts both people up?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “but it has to be about God first and about honoring the God within each other.”

Instantly I knew he was right. “That’s it!”

So what exactly is that, honoring the God within each other?

A simple way to think about it is the Hindi greeting, Namaste, commonly used across India but also often spoken amongst yoga practitioners. Translated it means the divinity in me recognizes the divinity in you.

Honoring the God in one another is about appealing to the higher self in all of us, the one yearning to be seen, heard and acknowledged. It’s about me rising into this space within myself and then seeing it in my partner and speaking to this aspect of him or her.

This kind of commitment is a relationship based on mutual love and respect.

It’s wanting your partner to live her passion, and encouraging her to take leaps and risks when they feed her and move her toward fulfilling her dreams and happiness. It’s giving your partner space to grow and evolve even if it means they leave you or aren’t always there for you.

This actually recently played out in my intimate relationship.

In 2004, my husband and I started a business together. After working side by side for nearly a decade, I was ready to move on. I knew it was time for me to shift careers yet I felt bad about leaving him to run the business on his own.

He could have easily fed that guilty place in me and said things to trigger it. Then I would have stayed because I love him and because I felt obligated since we’d started the business together.

Instead, he encouraged me to leave.

He was excited about what I was doing and the new direction my life was taking. It meant his life got harder initially, because it took time to fill the void I left. But he never wavered in his support of my new venture.

Now, he’s happier than ever and so am I. My shift allowed him to step more fully into roles that he had shied away from too.

He chose to remember our agreement of honoring the higher self in each of us, the God. He gave me both the room and the encouragement to follow my new path.

Change isn’t always easy, especially in our intimate relationships. It causes us to shift too as we make room for the other person to unfold. Yet when we choose to honor each other and celebrate who we are, not only is it more fulfilling but energizing too.

Positive change brings new opportunities and enthusiasm, which can be contagious and inspiring. We all know how good it feels when we’re in our flow. We are more alive, more present and more connected. Isn’t that what we all want for ourselves and for our loved ones?

Shakti Sutriasa is the Founder of DecideDifferently.com, offering life coaching, counseling and workshops that combine modern psychology and spirituality. Shakti is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and has an MA in Education. To learn more Click Here

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9 Signs You’re Finally in a Mature, Adult Relationship

This was originally published at www.elitedaily.com

Media dictates so much in today’s world — including relationships.

Whether portraying unrequited love, forbidden love or passionate love, the media’s ideas of love all have something in common: drama.

After all, drama drives the media.

But, guess what? When you’re in a dramatic relationship, this reality isn’t so appealing. Dramatic relationships are just plain sh*tty, and there’s nothing romantic or alluring about that.

Real relationships, to be quite honest, could almost be considered boring, and the media doesn’t value “boring.”

For years, I bought into the idea that a relationship needed some type of drama to be legitimized. As I’m settling down, I’m realizing how truly wrong and exhausting that mentality was.

For the first time in… well, ever, I’m in a healthy, mature relationship. It’s different than previous relationships I’ve had because this one is real. It is solid. It is stable. It is everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I didn’t know I needed.

It’s also everything I ran away from in the past because it just seemed too “boring.” Only now am I realizing that there is a difference between a boring relationship and a stable, mature one.

1. Being your significant other’s partner isn’t hard.

Until recently, I always struggled when I was in a relationship. Feelings of uncertainty and anxiety were overwhelmingly normal, while feeling secure in the relationship was not.

Maybe this is obvious, but it shouldn’t be the case. Being someone’s partner should come easily rather than feel like a chore or a responsibility.

2. You don’t have to be in contact 24/7.

Part of an adult relationship is realizing that each person has his or her own world, separate of one another. This means that being together all the time or constantly texting just isn’t feasible, and that is OK.

Actually, it’s even nice. I love my boyfriend, but if I talked to him constantly, I’d go crazy.

3. You don’t want to change your significant other.

I’ll admit that I have a history of seeking out broken people and trying to fix them, which never ends well. This isn’t the case in a healthy relationship.

In a healthy relationship, changing your partner shouldn’t even be a desire on your radar. Changing annoying little habits is one thing, but changing or fixing who someone is as a person should not be your goal. Maybe he or she isn’t perfect, but he or she shouldn’t have to be.

4. Your significant other balances you out — and even calls you out.

Rather than always agreeing on every aspect of life, your relationship tests and challenges your views. Your partner brings new views to light — possibly ideas that oppose your own.

When you don’t agree on a topic, it isn’t the end of the world. You acknowledge each other’s positions and move on.

5. Discussing the future isn’t scary.

In immature relationships, there is less certainty and less communication about the status of the relationship, therefore less willingness to discuss the future.

In an adult relationship, plans can be made months in advance without stopping to wonder where the relationship will or won’t be.

6. You may disagree, but you don’t all-out fight.

Observing how the other person argues and adjusting your own style is a learning process, but part of a mature relationship. For example, I tend to shut down when I am angry, whereas my boyfriend is more direct.

Adjusting to this was difficult at first, but now that we know each other’s style of disagreement, we are able to communicate in a more mature manner.

7. Showing your love becomes more important than verbally expressing it.

It used to irritate me that I am more vocal about telling my boyfriend I love him. He, on the other hand, doesn’t say it as often, but shows it in his actions.

Over time, I’ve realized that this is preferable to hearing it all the time. Sometimes love is in the day-to-day actions rather than the literal words, and this is definitely a more mature viewpoint.

8. Jealousy is a non-issue because the relationship is founded on trust.

In an adult relationship, the male can have female friends and vice-versa without the world coming to a screeching halt. Each partner is secure in the other’s commitment and does not possess an unfounded worry about cheating or dishonesty.

9. You’re in sync with one another — mentally and physically.

This may sound like it’s about sex, but it is not the case. It’s more about knowing a person so well and having developed such a connection that his or her smallest movement can be predicted — or sentences finished. It’s about him or her becoming an extension of you in a healthy way.

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4 Simple Ways To Reignite The Passion In Your Relationship

Even the strongest relationships can run into a rut. Whether you’ve been with your partner for months or decades, these four tips that experts shared on #OWNSHOW can help you reconnect and reignite the passion that brought you together in the first place.

1. Change your routine.

According to psychologist Alexandra H. Solomon, one of the most important things couples can do is refuse to become complacent or take the relationship for granted. In other words, it’s crucial to view each other with fresh eyes. To do this, Solomon suggests forcing yourselves out of a rut by changing your routine.

“If you’re going for weeks and weeks and weeks, and the only way you’re experiencing each other is in the kitchen [or] in the living room, I really encourage couples to shake it up,” she says. “Put yourselves literally in a different context.”

2. Make out more.

Kissing is key, says Dr. Lauren Streicher, an OBGYN and relationship author.

“We all know there’s a big difference between kissing your Great Aunt Matilda on the cheek and getting it over with as quickly as you can, versus the tongue-to-tonsils making out intimacy that is, of course, very sexual,” she says. “Kissing and kissing and kissing like you never want to stop is sometimes the most sexual thing you can do!”

3. Relax together.

Everyone needs their own personal time to relax and recharge occasionally, but sexual educator Dr. Debbie Herbenick also stresses the importance of relaxing together. This often allows couples the opportunity to better connect, which Herbenick says can really jump-start the passion.

“We hear about it all the time in research that it’s that relaxation intimacy that matters to sex drive,” she says.

4. Touch and make eye contact.

Making a physiological connection isn’t just a powerful way to reignite the passion, Solomon says, it’s also quite simple.

“When couples hold hands, turn toward each other and make eye contact, it’s very difficult to feel disengaged,” she points out. “It just kind of kicks off this whole… physiological process, reminding us who the other person is. It can kind of get the juices flowing and get couples started on the road to reconnection.”

Bonus tip: Instead of reaching for a bottle of ibuprofen next time you get a headache, research suggests that having sex may be the cure you’re looking for.

More life tips and advice from #OWNSHOW

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Maks Chmerkovskiy Opens Up About Life After Dancing With the Stars, Meryl Davis, and Relationship News

Strict orders have been given from Val Chmerkovskiy regarding his older brother, Maksim: "Ask him anything! He's very funny," urges the Dancing With the Stars season 20 front-runner. Consider it done. It's been a year…

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Jake Owen’s Best Advice for Getting Ahead, Having a Strong Relationship, and Sexy Hair

In the six years since the Academy of Country Music named Jake Owen Top New Male Artist of the Year, the Florida native has released two breakout albums (Barefoot Blue Jean Night, Days of Gold)…

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Want a Great Relationship? Don’t Go to Bed Angry

The first time I got married, I was young, naïve and foolish. I didn’t genuinely understand what it meant to share a life with another person even though I was absolutely convinced I did. I also wanted to do my marriage differently than what I’d seen my parents do.

I’d witnessed the hostility, frustration and dysfunction first hand. Instead, I wanted a healthy, loving relationship. But because my mom, dad and stepdad were my role models, I ended up re-enacting what I’d experienced even when it was the last thing I’d planned.

Meanwhile, my heart craved something else entirely, something other than what I was creating. It longed for intimacy, love, connection, to feel understood. These sounded romantic and simple but eluded me.

What I had and what I wanted were miles apart only I pretended that wasn’t the case and acted as if everything was perfect. Until it all came apart.

Looking back I see that the main challenge, the thing that successfully unraveled my relationship, wasn’t one singular event. It was the opposite. It was the small, every day, ordinary moments that poked the holes.

What am I talking about?

Here’s a scenario:

It’s a Friday night and we’re watching a movie, one of those heart wrenching, soul mate tearjerkers. Naturally, I start crying. My husband rolls his eyes and snorts, implying that I’m pathetic.

I instantly feel hurt and reject him back, turning away from him in bed, holding my wounded-ness like a cloak around me.

I could have told him how I felt. Instead, I justified my silence with thoughts like: He doesn’t understand or care. Rationalizations that were probably untrue but re-enforced my pain and hurt.

These moments seemed trite and inconsequential when they occurred but added up over time, they eroded trust until one day, a decade later, I looked up and realized I was standing on the opposite bank of an emotional gulf from my partner.

How did that happen?

From all the little hurts — me nagging about the laundry, him disappointing me by working Saturdays, me criticizing him about a monthly gym membership he’d never use, him not getting me a card for my birthday… and on and on. We didn’t talk about these little upsets and chose to go to bed feeling hurt and angry.

Needless to say, our relationship splintered and I decided that I was done. Done with power and control masquerading as love. No more partners.

Instead, I’d take care of myself and my girls. I wasn’t ready for another relationship and I certainly didn’t want one that wasn’t really about love.

It was time for me to learn how to be loving which began with me learning how to love myself. I also had to understand how to make room for other people and that meant surrendering my need for control. And most importantly, giving up criticism.

It took awhile and frankly, I was skeptical that real love even existed.

Then I got surprised. Love came to me, as it usually does, when I least expected it.

This time my partner and I agreed to do things differently. Consequently, he and I talk about everything. We’re open about our feelings and even about how we want to be with each other. This led us to creating agreements that govern our relationship.

One of these is to not go to bed angry. I’ll admit that sometimes this is really hard to do. Especially when I feel hurt or wronged.

In those moments it’s hard to be emotionally vulnerable. It’s much easier to fall into blame or feel like a victim. But I value what we have together and I remember how going to bed angry whittled away my previous relationship.

I know it’s worth speaking up because then those little things won’t accumulate. They won’t slowly push me away emotionally so I stop opening up and sharing.

Instead, when I do finally speak my words of upset, those words of truth, the opposite occurs.

I feel even more seen, heard and loved. I am honored and taken care of because I choose to share my vulnerability instead of holding in the hurt.

It’s been 11 years and I can honestly say that my current husband and I are even closer today than we were all those years ago. A big reason why is because we consistently try to honor this agreement and not go to bed angry.

So the next time you feel hurt, disappointed or upset with your partner, try talking about it.

Tell him or her how you feel. See if your partner can understand your point of view and perhaps offer some insight into theirs. It may bring you to a new level of intimacy with one another and deepen the bond you have.

Shakti Sutriasa is the Founder of DecideDifferently.com, a personal development company offering life coaching, counseling and workshops. Her unique approach combines modern psychology and spirituality to support people seeking positive change and self-transformation. Shakti is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and has an MA in Education. Learn more at DecideDifferently.com

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My Call to Dr. Amy, Relationship Therapist

Hi, this is a message for Dr. Amy. I’m calling to possibly set up a session. Basically, I’m hoping to find myself happy and stable in a relationship, and your website says you’ve taken thousands of people from no relationship to relationship, so I thought maybe we should meet, as long as I’m in L.A for a bit. Also, I totally agree where you say we never see real change if we’re staying in our comfort zone. I’m always a little uncomfortable, so real change may be just a few minor discomforts away! Ha ha. Ok. My number is 917-444-4444. My name is Nora. Thanks.


Hi, Dr. Amy? You’re there! Did you get my message? Great! I called again to add just one more thing. but since I have you, can we talk for like 2 minutes? I have a question about one of the affirmations on your website.

The one where “I accept myself unconditionally, right now.” I tried it last night and it felt weird. Can I do it with you on the phone now, to make sure I’m doing it right?

Ok, good, I’m just going to do it now, ok? I’m going to accept myself unconditionally, right now.

Ok, right now. Ready?

Ok. Ready?

I accept myself unconditionally, right now.

How was that, was that right?

Ok, no, I’m just kidding, Dr. Amy. I know what unconditional means. I know there’s no right or wrong with that one. I’m just having a little fun. Do you think we could work together on the relationship thing?

Homework! Let me write this down.

What was my longest relationship?

What do I believe I’ll receive from my ideal relationship?

Can I clarify the question about my longest relationship? Because I know that a lot of couples stay together for years and don’t have sex, so I’ve definitely been in those kinds. We’d start off sort of dating, with some physical intimacy, and then we’d start hanging out every month or so on someone’s sofa watching TV. Sometimes with a sleepover, and maybe a little fooling around. And we text to say hi when someone’s on vacation or something.

That doesn’t count? What about when a guy comes over every few weeks, or months, and the sexual charge stays pretty strong for a few years?

No? What about guys I’ve hung out with regularly for months and slept with maybe once a week, ish, and we were nice to each other.

Ok, then what exactly do you mean by relationship?

Ok, what do you mean by boundaries?

Then it’s just one, 14 years ago.

Wait, two, if you count Carlton, in high school.

Oh: Scott. Percussionist. College.

Wait, four, Andy, at the bagel store I worked in.

Sure, I’d say they lasted about one year.

No, that’s the total time for all of those together if you add them up. But the longest contiguous one was the one from 14 years ago. We definitely had boundaries. Like, if one of us had to use the bathroom in the morning, the other would go out to get coffee or groceries. Even though the apartment had 2 full baths. But we had sex, it was stable, and went for like 4 months until the first breakup.

Absolutely, you can call me back. Ten minutes? Ok.


Hi, Dr. Amy? It’s Nora. It’s been about 15, so I thought I’d call. I’m thinking I won’t really need therapy. I just haven’t found the right guy yet.

Fine. Then it’s all emanating from me, I’m a slave to my subconscious fears, and there’s no point in working with you then, right? Just kidding. We should set up a session.

Biggest fear?

I have two, off the top of my head. The first is that the minute I say I want something, it’ll be taken from me. The second is that I’ll be bound to a man who doesn’t love me enough and who makes me feel lonely and empty every time we have sex.

You’re writing that down? Is that a diagnosis? No, don’t tell me.

Interesting. Maybe you’re right, maybe I’d do well with a long distance relationship. Or with, how’d you just put it, someone who doesn’t require a lot of my energy or attention?

But I want to live with someone, Dr. Amy. I bond quickly. I can’t even say goodbye to a girlfriend after dinner without feeling sad. And it always seems like just when I’m starting to relax, we have to say goodbye. But then sometimes it’s such a relief to be alone, so I can hear my own thoughts and not get all rattled with other peoples’ needs and quirks. But then, I really wanna be married, because I’ve always dreamed of having one of those passionate affairs with someone who’s also in a stable, comfortable marriage. Kidding again! Can I call you right back? I wanna check this text for a second, if it’s from Tony.

Ok, really quickly: I met him my first week in L.A. at a happy hour at the Parq Bar at the Montage Hotel.

Fair enough. A hotel bar in a city I don’t plan to live in for a long time is not the best bet for finding a long-term relationship. In my defense, I went for the free jazz, and Tony showed up for the happy hour fish tacos.

Yes, I had a therapist, about 15 years ago for a few years. It helped.

Yes, I agree. I’m making choices that are leaving me bereft and preventing me from achieving a gratifying, trusting, loving relationship.

Yes, I do want a real relationship before the end of my life.

Yes, I’m free tomorrow at 12 or 1, whichever is better for you.

Ok, let’s do 12. Thank you for your time. See you tomorrow.


Hi Dr. Amy, this is Nora again. Please call me when you get the chance. I just realized I’m not free tomorrow at 12 or 1. I’m getting a bikini wax. I’m overdue. We can reschedule for any other time this week. Thanks. It’s Nora.


Hello? Yes, this is Nora. Hi Greg, yes, I left Dr. Amy a message about rescheduling.

Friday at 2 is perfect. Can I just leave a message with you to give to her? It’s about Tony. Some background, so we don’t waste time in the session on Friday?

Sure, just the basics. Tony is 6’3.” He’s a strapping, Latino radiologist, in his early thirties.

Yes, well, he sounds yummy, Greg, because he’s yummy. That’s why I waited through 5 weeks of scattered text messages to make a date for dinner last Thursday.


On Beverly Drive, maybe? I can’t remember the name. But can you tell Dr. Amy that Tony paid for the sushi and the valet parking, and he also took me on the Julia Roberts walk on Rodeo Drive, and that it doesn’t matter to me that he doesn’t distinguish in text messages between y-o-u-r and y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e. And I’m not ashamed of the blowjob in my car in the garage below my apartment building. I haven’t given one in ages, it seemed good to break the spell.

Thank you for understanding.

Yes, he texted the next day, we made a plan for Sunday, yesterday, and then I woke up yesterday with a pot brownie hangover, and also I could suddenly see clearly all the things I want in life, because I don’t have any of them –

You think it’s the brownie? I got it at a dispensary on Melrose that gets good Yelp reviews. They also had peach pound cake.

Oh! Rice Krispee treats sound great. Maybe that would make a difference. So I texted Tony yesterday morning to see what time he’d be over, and then I called a few hours later, and when he didn’t return my text or voice mail, that led to some crying and feeling like I was falling into a bottomless upside down sky with no one around to hear me cry out, and that’s when I found Dr. Amy’s stuff online.

Thank you, Greg. You got all of that? Ok, thanks.

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Science Reveals The Laziest Way To Better Your Mood And Maybe Your Relationship

Some people consider daydreaming a waste of time, but a new study has found that daydreaming about your significant other can boost your mood. It might even strengthen your relationship.

Fantasizing about your partner can increase feelings of love and connection toward that person, according to the U.K. study recently published in the journal Consciousness and Cognition.

“We are often reminded of the benefits of being present and living ‘in the moment,'” Dr. Giulia Poerio, a psychologist at the University of Sheffield and the study’s lead author, told The Huffington Post. “Our study shows that daydreaming about close others might be an effective way to make yourself feel better by mentally simulating contact with loved ones when it is not available in reality,” she added.

The researchers randomly sent text messages throughout the day to 101 study participants — both women and men, with an average age of 22. They were asked what they were daydreaming about at that moment and how they felt before and after their reverie.

The study found that daydreams unrelated to the person’s significant other didn’t seem to have any effect on the person’s mood. But after daydreaming about their partners, participants who described their relationships as satisfying reported an elevated mood and a surge in feelings of love and connection. The better the relationship, the more enjoyment was derived from the daydreams.

Researchers concluded that daydreaming may serve as a temporary substitute for social interaction when we can’t be with our loved ones.

“Daydreaming about close others may be an effective strategy to overcome negative social feelings in daily life, such as when feeling lonely or when separated from loved ones,” Poerio said. “It’s well established that interactions with loved ones can increase feelings of well-being, but our results suggest that the emotional benefit of others can also occur from our imagination.”

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Happy Couples Share the Secrets to Their Relationship Success

Here, eight of them share the secrets to lasting love (and a whole lot of smiles).

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Mayim Bialik Reveals All About Sheldon and Amy’s Major Relationship Moment on Tonight’s Big Bang Theory

If you haven't watched tonight's episode of The Big Bang Theory yet and don't want to know what Sheldon and Amy decided to do, then stop reading any further. (If that's you, make sure to…

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How Relationship Experts Knew They Found ‘The One’

“When you know, you know.” That’s the conventional wisdom when it comes to figuring out if the person you’re dating is the person you’ll be with in the long, long term.

But when and how does that seemingly elusive feeling of assurance strike? We recently asked a group of married relationship experts to tell us about the moment they knew they had found The One. Below, authors, professors, therapists and other relationship professionals share their stories.

1. They never ran out of things to say.
“On our third date, we met in the late afternoon for drinks, then we saw a movie, followed by a long, leisurely dinner. Then we decided to walk. All night. First to a cafe in North Beach, then to a jazz bar, and then just up and down the San Francisco hills, until around 6 a.m. when we said goodnight at my front door. Not once did we get bored or run out of things to say. I knew then that 10, 20, 30 years out, we’d still be talking, laughing, keeping life fresh and interesting. And we are.” – Winifred Reilly, licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship blogger

2. What she lacked, he had in spades.
“I knew my husband was The One during our first real date, which was a trip to Miami since we lived in different cities at the time. He navigated us around in a rental car, which was impressive since I have no directional capacity at all. He also was very gentle when rubbing sunscreen on me, which I liked because I thought it meant he was kind and a caretaker. I was right!” – Dr. Samantha Rodman, psychologist and dating coach

3. The relationship felt totally, completely right.
“My wife and I met in high school, we broke up on graduation, but rekindled the relationship in our senior year of college. She had the opportunity to study in Europe, and I spontaneously decided to join her for a year in romantic Heidelberg. On the plane, my exhausted wife-to-be fell into a deep sleep. I looked over at her slumbering form, and I was hit by an overwhelming feeling of rightness -– that for once in my life, I was in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. In Germany, I learned the wonderful word for ‘significant other’ or ‘sweetheart’: Lebensgefährtin. It literally means a ‘fellow-traveler through life.’ And that’s what we’ve been to one another ever since.” – Dr. Karl Pillemer, author of 30 Lessons For Loving and professor of gerontology at Cornell

4. It was love at first sight — no doubt about it.
“I knew my husband was the one at first sight. I know that sounds crazy, but we were set up and had been talking on the phone for nearly a month. Each time we’d connect by telephone, we’d talk for hours. He knew so much about me before we ever met face-to-face, and before we left dinner that night, we both knew we’d never be with another person again.” – Fawn Weaver, author and founder of Happy Wives Club

5. He was a true gentleman.
“It was a cold night in November 1985 and we were double-dating at a Lebanese restaurant in Washington, D.C. He was NOT my date! I was wearing short sleeves and I must have been shivering because Chuck took off his sweater, a red and green chevron-patterned number, and gave it to me. I slipped it on and it was so soft and smelled so good, musky and manly. We looked at each other, he’s got these see-through blue eyes, and I thought, ‘Hmmm, this could be interesting…’ And it’s been interesting for 27 years.” – Iris Krasnow, author of The Secret Lives of Wives

6. She broke all the dating “rules” for him.
“Lou was bartending over the summer after my freshman year of college and his best friend, who I had dated, was the bouncer. Lou was different from any man I had dated. I can’t really explain what it was, but he complemented me in ways I hadn’t ever considered before. I knew it from the start. And because he wasn’t going to call me (bro code), I looked through the phone book and called everyone with his name until I found him. I don’t believe in rules when it comes to love, but if I did, I was sure willing to break any and all of them.” – Dr. Logan Levkoff, sexologist and author

7. Their chemistry was off the charts.
“I knew my husband was The One on date number four. The electricity wouldn’t stop. I swear, I got electric butterflies every time I would think of him. The PDA was getting a little ridiculous that night and I told him, ‘You’re the man of my dreams.’ He said, ‘Wow, that’s a lot to live up to.’ I was actually trying to NOT be in a relationship for a long time, but there was no denying this intense chemistry.” – Marina Sbrochi, author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life

8. His success was hers too.
“When I whispered to her, ‘They let me in [to a psychotherapy graduate program]’ her face radiated joy. More than I did at the time, she understood what this could mean to me and to us. Up until that moment, the future of my career was vague. She knew that this possibility of me becoming a psychotherapist had my name written all over it. Her assurance made her the one for me.” – Dr. Jim Walkup, licensed marriage and family therapist

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Marriage and Cancer: 10 Ways to Maintain Your Relationship After a Diagnosis


Marriage is hard work. It requires a level of effort, dedication and commitment unparalleled to other relationships. One of the first pieces of marital wisdom I received from my parents was exactly that — “Marriage takes work. It’s not a stroll in the park.”

Marriage captures the ability of two people to rely on one another through both the good and bad times. It measures one’s character and integrity through the act of caring for another. As with any relationship, most marriages experience high peaks and low valleys. A diagnosis will bring out the best and worst of you and your partner. It has the potential to tear your relationship apart or bring you closer together more intimately than you could have imagined. As the saying goes, it’s not about what happens to you, it’s about how you respond. Upon receiving the news of a diagnosis, you must make the choice to not only fight the disease, but also fight for your relationship. Below are 10 ways to help your marriage after a diagnosis.

Commit: Above anything else, you must make the conscious decision to commit — both to your spouse and to the process. Commitment doesn’t automatically happen when you speak your vows. It is a choice that must be repeated over the course of your relationship. Your journey through cancer requires steadfastness and faithfulness to one another. You need to assume that life is going to get extremely bumpy and uncomfortable. Nearly everything you have encountered thus far has been butterflies, fairy dust, and roses and you’re about to endure some of the most difficult moments in your life. Both of you will be pulled in different directions and be influenced in many ways. When things get ugly, complications arise, and grief pours over you both, you need to hold tight to each other. Commit yourself to be there for one another no matter what happens.

Communicate: Continue to talk. Grief is expressed in a variety of ways and for some, it shows itself in silence. Though there will be times when you need to process on your own, don’t build a wall between you and your loved one. In an atmosphere of silence, assumptions are birthed and hurt will grow. Communicating can bring healing to your relationship. You will both experience different emotions from the moment you hear the news of the diagnosis, and being on the exact same emotional page will be a rarity. Keeping the lines of communication open will benefit your marriage by drawing you closer to one another and preventing hurt feelings in the future. It’s OK to express your fears and anxieties. And equally so, it’s OK to share your faith and hope. Be vulnerable and loving in your communication, and understand that talking things through will only benefit the bond you have with your spouse.

Prioritize: Life moves quickly upon receiving a diagnosis. Medical decisions will need to be made. You’ll need to find a team of doctors that you feel comfortable with. Treatment will be discussed, and you will need to choose which option is best for you. Eventually you’ll feel in over your head as the chaos circles around you. Keeping a list of priorities will help establish balance. Be aware of what tasks are at hand and stay on the same page as your spouse. Communicate what is most important to your relationship. Is it more important to preserve your fertility before beginning harsh treatments? Do you want to establish a medical banking account to manage expenses? Put yourselves first and be OK saying “no” to those around you. Your health and your marriage are number one.

Be flexible: Plans change… that’s life. When cancer rears it’s ugly head into your relationship, you need to start stretching. Many of your dreams, goals, and desires for your life and family will abruptly come to a halt. Keep a tight grip on your non-negotiables and let insignificant matters go. Change is difficult, but being flexible is more valuable than gold. Go with the flow. Some plans will fizzle and new dreams will come forth. Flexibility allows room for growth.

Stay on the same team: Cancer can bring out the worst in us. Anger is one of the most common emotions that patients and their families deal with. Remember that each of you process things differently, and that no way is better than the other. Allow each other space to grieve and be sympathetic towards one another. Remember that you are fighting cancer, not your loved one. Direct your anger towards the root of the issue, and don’t let your emotions erupt in an attack on your spouse. Though at times you’ll feel your partner doesn’t understand what you are going through, don’t alienate them and turn them into the enemy. You’re on the same team, and you each play a vital position. Work together at working through it.

Pursue: We’ve all heard that we should continue to date our spouse after our wedding day. Whether to keep things interesting or to continue to nurture the bond, pursuing each other is important to your relationship. This shouldn’t stop after a diagnosis. Though it will require a deeper level of intent, consistently seeking each other out will be rewarded. Make time for one another. Go out of your way to make your spouse feel special. Pursue your partner’s heart. Ask questions about how they are doing and be a good listener when they respond. Treatments and the subsequent side effects may get in the way of your typical dinner and a movie date night, but if you are creative you can cultivate new ways to deepen your bond. Remember that dates don’t have to be fancy or extravagant, and most likely won’t be for a while.

Be grateful: Have you ever met someone so full of gratitude that it made you reflect on what you’re thankful for? Having an attitude of gratitude in all circumstances will change your view of the most difficult times. Though you’ll have a large list of things you are angry, upset, and resentful over, make an effort to think of things that you are thankful for. Thanksgiving is one of the quickest ways to heal a hardened heart. Make a list. Whether in your mind or on paper, write down specific items you are grateful for. Be thankful for the details. Be thankful for all things big and little. Be thankful for the life and love you share with one another. An attitude of gratitude will transform your perspective and will strengthen your spirit throughout your battle.

Remain intimate: Intimacy isn’t always about sex. Though sex is one of the fundamental ways to be intimate with your partner, there are other means to stay connected. Unfortunately, cancer robs many people of their sexual function, yet marriages continue to blossom even without intercourse. When biology is thrown off, creativity is born. Adapting to your current situation will benefit you both. Be gentle with one another. Discover new ways to develop a more profound connection. Hold hands. Share secrets. Kiss. Being affectionate will remind your partner that you are invested in them. If you allow it, the intimacy in your relationship can reach new heights after a diagnosis. Vulnerability will welcome intimacy.

Remember your vows: Think back to the day you stood in front of your friends and family and made lifelong promises to your spouse. What did you say? More than likely, you vowed to stay by your partner in sickness and in health. While you probably had no idea that sickness meant cancer, you promised your partner you would not leave them when things got rough. You vowed to stand with each other no matter what. You vowed to love one another and cherish one another. There will be moments in your journey after your diagnosis that all you have left is the man or woman standing beside you. Think back to your wedding day. If you knew then what you know now, would your decision be different? True, authentic, raw love knows no bounds. You loved them then… love them now.
Weddings – The Huffington Post
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The Link Between Age Compatibility And Relationship Success


Life in the Boomer Lane has written numerous brilliant, profound, and downright side-splitting posts. But no matter how many seriously valuable topics she attempts to cover, from cats who want to kill you to big butts, there are three topics that remain permanently on her Biggest Hits List. They are:

1. The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix: A Man’s Guide to Women
2. The Myth of older Men Wanting Younger Women
3. The Link Between Physical Attractiveness and Relationship Success

For this reason, she has decided to combine all three into one end-of-year post that will give readers a veritable climax of blog reading: We will discuss information about women that men can use, the older man/younger women dynamic, and what determines relationship success.

Every time she writes a post about older men and younger women, she receives a lot of well-considered responses from men, to the tune of “BLAH BLAH BLAH We don’t care what you write because REAL MEN only want young babes because they are hot and MY GIRLFRIEND/WIFE is 30 years YOUNGER than me and we have a deep and meaningful relationship in which we spend all of our time in bed, while she does acrobatic tricks and I try not to have a heart attack.”

OK, then. So the following is clearly not for you. You may bypass this post and go back to either your perfect relationship or searching for dates on postadolescentmatch.com. LBL will not attempt to prove that men prefer younger women. She concedes that, in a perfect fantasy world, most men probably do prefer younger women. She will, instead, show that actual relationship success is determined by partners being age-compatible.

Now, let’s get to it: A recent study by Emory University polled data compiled from 3000 married and recently divorced couples. Various indices were used to predict relationship success. One of them was the age gap between partners. A one-year discrepancy in a couple’s ages, the study found, makes them 3 percent more likely to divorce (when compared to their same-aged counterparts); a 5-year difference, however, makes them 18 percent more likely to split up. And a 10-year difference makes them 39 percent more likely. Once you enter large-gap territory, the 20-year difference and the 30-year difference, the odds of divorce are huge.

Let us now rephrase this and put it in bold: The wider the age gap of partners, the lower their chances are of relationship success.

Differences in ages also mean differences in life experience and cultural reference points. Generations may be an invention, but they are meaningful nonetheless. With all the strikes against long-lasting marriages nowadays, at least marrying someone age-compatible gives one a better shot at marital longevity. Note to men whose wives are way younger: LBL suspects she already knows what you are going to say. So you can save your energy for other, more fun, activities.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

Weddings – The Huffington Post
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The New Year, the New You and Relationship Resolutions

Start the year off by “doing you.”

Instead of criticizing yourself today for whatever you perceive you are lacking in terms of relationships (stressful marriage, fear of a life alone without love, lack of meaningful friendships, contentious work relationships, difficulty with your children or parents) take a step back and closely examine how you deal with yourself. Building your relationship with yourself will have far reaching impact on improving the quality of your romantic relationships and friendships, as well as enhancing your motivation and drive to get what you want out of life.

Resolution 1. Resolve to build greater self-compassion. Far too often people beat themselves up for not handling a particular relationship adequately, for causing distress to another, or for not doing enough for someone else. In my experience this kind of self-criticism means people try harder for a bit, only to regress to the same problematic patterns. In reality what helps people to be truly present and understanding of others is being deeply compassionate with themselves. Women in particular are socialized to tune in more with the feelings of others than to tune in with their own feelings. For some, it becomes a compulsion to make sure everyone else is okay before actually attending to how they themselves are feeling. This results in lopsided relationships where the woman involved is so consumed by taking care of the needs of her partners, children, parents, friends, that she may not even recognize how out of touch she is with her own needs. Self-compassion means self-acceptance, faults and all. And, it means recognizing that your experience of life is connected to the larger collective human experience.

Resolution 2. Resolve to look at your ‘failures’ or setbacks as opportunities for growth. It is common when faced with failure to give up and remind yourself of all of your other failures and to dwell on why it is you will never get whatever it is you truly desire. This thinking writes the script for a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Improving the way you treat yourself means when hardship and disappointment are present, you do not pull the covers over your head and turn against yourself. You are your own most potent ally–if you become harsh and self-critical when faced with your shortcomings, you are turning on the person who can do the most to help. It is very powerful to re-write the script, drop gloomy resignation and resolve to work toward greater self-determination. Do not globally write yourself off. Sure, list specific weaknesses you have (fear of commitment, procrastination, chronic tardiness, fear of change), but also list ways to challenge yourself to mitigate these weaknesses and grow.

Resolution 3. Resolve to search each day for a sense of peace and wellbeing even if at first you can only sustain it for a few moments. Whatever feeling we carry in our bodies, we radiate out to others in our life. This can often set the theme for how interactions will go. If you are always busy, frazzled and never at peace, others pick up this frenetic energy and will not be at peace with you in your presence. If you carry sadness or anger, those you want to connect with will feel these same emotions in your presence. Work to find moments where you can connect with yourself, without obsessive thinking about what needs to be done next. Look for moments when you can concentrate on purposeful breathing and other physical sensations. Meditating goes far when it comes to dealing with others in your life. Resolve to connect with a peaceful feeing inside your own body and you will begin to extend this composure to all of your interactions. Being self-possessed will help you to appreciate others, stay in the present and even infect them with the same sense of wellbeing.

Resolution 4. Resolve not to take responsibility for other people. There is a difference between listening and connecting with others vs. taking on emotional work they need to do for themselves. The critical thinking and judgments of others are not opportunities for you to work harder to gain approval or to help them to your detriment. Resolve to notice if you are preoccupied by what others should be doing differently or with how to gain the approval of others and let that preoccupation go.

Resolution 5. Resolve to become more alive through connection. As a psychologist I talk to people frequently who live a double life. To their friends, family, spouse, they may seem to have it all together, while, deep down they harbor anger, negative thinking, anxiety or despair. It is a part of the normal human experience to struggle with negative thoughts or upsetting emotions; however, internalizing this negativity is toxic. Give up the fear of what others will think of you if they knew who you really are and what you really feel–remember most everyone has a dark side. Just as you are not responsible for other people, they are not responsible for you and the healthy ones will support and listen to you. The benefit of expressing yourself openly far outweighs the miniscule impact of someone having a negative perception or judgment about you.

Forget resolving to ‘be a better person’ instead, resolve to treat yourself as you wish others would treat you. As you improve your relationship with you, much of the rest of your life (including enjoying those you love most and coping with those that are harder to deal with) will reflect the ease and wellbeing you feel within.

For more follow me on twitter @DrJillWeber, like me on Facebook or visit drjillweber.com. Dr. Jill Weber is a clinical psychologist in Washington, DC and author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy — Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Steal This Relationship Secret From Scarlett Johansson

Three big benefits to keeping the details of your relationship between the two of you.
Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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Ashley Madison - Have an affair. Married Dating, Affairs, Married Women, Extramarital Affair

16 Relationship Rituals Real Couples Use to Stay Connected

From inside jokes to daily notes, we asked happy couples to share their most successful relationship rituals with us.

All Sex, Love & Life

10 Signs It’s Time to End Your Relationship (in Honor of Independence Day on July Fourth)

Here, 10 signs it’s time to set yourself free and be single…

All Sex, Love & Life

Why Your Career Is Ruining Your Relationship

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent decades honing the skills you need to succeed in business. You’re smart, savvy and good at what you do. Scratch that – you’re fantastic at what you do.

Society applauds you, your mom brags about you, and you’re finally making the money you deserve. You’re proud of what you’ve accomplished and define yourself by the characteristics that help you succeed. The traits that make you valuable in your career give your value in your life. After all, professional success is success in this culture.

Unfortunately what you do for a living can screw you in the romance department.

Here’s why: The skills you use to succeed in your career are the same ones that may block you from loving and being loved.

Take me for example. I help aspiring leaders get clear on their purpose and then develop strategies to bring their visions to life. Sounds harmless enough, but it’s the way I do it that presents the romantic challenge.

The reason I excel as a life strategist is because I empathize deeply with my clients. I take on their hopes, fears, thoughts and feelings and then use this emotional connection to tap into their true desires. Once I feel them, I can remind them who they really are and hold that vision for them until they’re ready to claim it as their own. It’s a beautiful process and my clients love me.

Yet I bring the exact same skill set into my relationship and I’m a delusional codependent.

I meld into my partner and sacrifice my needs for the vision of what the relationship could be. I stubbornly cling to this vision instead of acknowledging what is and shift my bounders to accommodate it. Needless to say, these skillful traits that enhance my career make it hard for me to have a healthy relationship.

If you’re thinking. “OK, but I don’t do that,” let me give you another example that may be more familiar.

I know a guy who gets thing done at work. As a senior manager in a company he helped grow from the ground up, he works tirelessly, takes personal responsibility for the company’s progress, and does everything himself instead of delegating. His take-charge attitude, abilities and dedication to the mission make him a phenomenal corporate leader and he’s well compensated for his efforts.

Translate his business acumen into romance however, and he’s a condescending control freak.

His inability to delegate means he doesn’t know how to communicate his needs or build trust with another person. His lack of faith in others’ capabilities means no one is his equal or capable of being a true partner. Although a huge boost to his business persona, in his love life, his can-do attitude turns into a need to control and a tendency to make decisions based on assumptions rather than dialogue.

But our hard-earned career skills didn’t have to be a death-sentence for the relationship, and they don’t have to be for yours either.

The trick is to think bigger.

Your professional traits aren’t all of you — they are just the characteristics you practice the most often and that receive the most tangible and public feedback. There’s no salary or social prestige for being a good partner, but your ability to climb the corporate ladder is widely visible. In a society that defines your worth based on your professional skills, it’s easy to fall back on your work personality even at social events. How many times have your been introduced by your job title or asked “what do you do?” at a party? Ever been asked what makes you feel happy or loved? I didn’t think so.

If you want to job-proof your relationship, here are four steps you can take today to avoid sacrificing your love life for professional success:

1. Know your work self.

Spend a few minutes right now identifying how you have to think, act, and feel to be the professional powerhouse that you are. What traits set you apart from your colleagues? What are you praised for? What you’re doing when you feel “on” at work? Explore how these characteristics show up in your personal life. Is it in your tone of voice? Your assumptions about how others think and behave?

2. Remember your bigger self.
What other qualities do you have that you don’t bring to work? Maybe you’re a big softie at heart or incredibly generous or affectionate. What does your partner say they love about you?

3. Decide how you want to be.
Feel into how you want to show up in your relationship. Some of your business traits may be helpful and empowering, while others may not have a place in your love life at all. Identify who you want to be, how you want to feel, and how you want to act as a partner capable of loving and being loved.

4. Communicate.

In my experience, there is very little that a conversation can’t cure. No one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. Just like you negotiate in business, sit down with your partner to say what you need, hear out their needs, and decide together how you can help each other feel good. No one is a mind reader, so don’t take it personally if you have to spell out what you want or are asked to do specific things to help your partner feel loved.

With a little self-reflection and a willingness to talk, you can be successful in your career and relationship. There’s nothing better than being appreciated and respected for your professional success by your partner. Use these steps to bring your best to both aspects of your life so you can give yourself and your partner more freedom to love and be loved.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Ten Relationship Talks Every Couple Needs to Have

Glamour grilled experts and long-term happy couples and came up with the 10 Define-the-Relationship talks to have, all without ever saying, “We need to talk.”

All Sex, Love & Life

‘Dick: The Documentary’ Explores The ‘Physical And Emotional’ Relationship Men Have With Their Penis (NSFW)

Ben Affleck made headlines after announcing that he’d appear fully nude in “Gone Girl,” one of this season’s most hotly-anticipated new movies.

While viewers have so far been divided as to whether or not Affleck’s full-frontal scene lives up to the hype, the actor’s proclamation once again sparked a conversation over why male genitalia continues to be such a taboo, not just in Hollywood but also society at large.

Filmmaker Brian Fender aims to explore this dilemma, as well as others in regard to male sexuality, in “Dick: The Documentary.” For the film, Fender interviewed 63 men, between the ages of 22-82, who stripped nude and revealed themselves “physically and emotionally” through personal stories about their relationship to their penises.

Directed by Fender and produced by Chiemi Karasawa (“Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me“), the resulting documentary is billed as “a revealing and candid exploration of an unspoken ‘member’ of modern society,” the penis.

Fender revealed his inspiration for the new movie, and shared his thoughts on why male sexuality, in an interview with The Huffington Post. Check out a clip from the movie above (WARNING: NSFW) and check out what he had to say below.

The Huffington Post: Where were you when you first got the inspiration for the film?
Brian Fender: I was at an independent filmmaker’s conference (IFP) listening to a symposium on innovative ways to raise money for film. I had just finished an accidental documentary film called “XYQ,” which had started out as a video installation in a gallery show about LGBT youth in St. Louis.

I self-produced the two DVD set and now have about 950 copies in a closet in our Upper West Side apartment. So, I was thinking that for a commercially viable film, it had to be about sex. I am gay man, so obviously I was curious how men were affected by their dicks. I certainly have been affected by other men’s dicks.

How do you think finding subjects via Craigslist affected the outcome of the film?
We tried other ways of soliciting people, but Craigslist was the only successful venue. I would have preferred a broader cross section of participants, but what I got was an educated sample of men that thought this was a worthy project and wanted to be a part of it. I only got one creepy guy, who wore a Lone Ranger mask. Even though I met him for coffee to explain my intentions for the film, he still thought I wanted to hook-up.

What was the most surprising thing you learned while making the film?
I found that the men who participated were very thoughtful. I didn’t get any sexist thugs, which I was kind of disappointed about. I assume that men who are more conservative and judge sexual expression beyond the heterosexual paradigm — and would probably call these men, myself included, a pervert — would, I imagine, have less healthy sexual attitudes and feel threatened by the questions this film asks. But as educated as my subjects were, many of them told me that this was the first time they had said these things out loud and that they found it cathartic. I had also wanted to talk about using your dick as a weapon, but I got the feeling from these men that they weren’t sexually aggressive. The one thing that is funny is that there isn’t a glimmer of consensus about the dick. The opinions are as varied as the penises themselves.

Though the phallus rules all, the sight of a penis is still a taboo thing in many respects. Why do you think that is?
The reason why the phallus is so taboo with men is homophobia. If I freely look at another man’s penis, am I gay? What if I get turned on? For women it is the member that can make them a “whore.” If they admit to loving dick and look at dicks freely what does that mean about them? We are all conditioned harshly to not even consider men’s penises except in a humorous context or porn.

The truth is: most people love dick. Most men love their own, most women love them, and gay men are obsessed with them. That’s why I wanted to confront the audience with all of these penises in an innocuous setting. After about five minutes it just becomes a non-threatening appendage and people start making the bodies into faces. I think at some level, a large majority of people in this country think the human body is shameful.

What do you hope viewers take away from the film?
I hope it opens up a dialogue about sexuality in general.

My unrealistic hope is that people will start talking to their kids about sexuality while they are young: letting them know it is a gift that they should cherish and care for and that when they want to act on their sexuality, they should be responsible. But that’s too rational for most religious people, so they will distort their boy’s minds through guilt and shame and create sexually immature men who abuse women and children because they don’t how to express their sexuality appropriately. Sexual abuse is an epidemic; we have to do something different.

Check out more on “Dick: The Documentary” here.

Arts – The Huffington Post
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Iyanla Helps Sisters Heal a Critical Relationship – Fix My Life – OWN

Subscribe to OWN: http://bit.ly/18Lz0rV

Iyanla arrived in a rural Minnesota town expecting to work with Tess, a nurse who was convicted of stealing her patients’ pain pills. Instead, Iyanla found that Tess and her three sisters were all using destructive behaviors to mask personal pain. During filming, Tess’ sister Darcy revealed she felt abandoned and judged by her older sister Kayla. Watch as Iyanla helps the sisters truly see each other for who they are.

More from this episode:

For more Iyanla: Fix My Life, visit http://www.oprah.com/Iyanla

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An Important Reminder To Not Take Relationship Advice From Your Cat

Cats are great at squeezing into impossibly small spaces, making death-defying jumps, and showing your pet dog who’s boss whenever they get the chance.

They’re not that great at giving relationship cues. Unfortunately, one woman who recently wrote into a vet’s advice column in The Sonoma Valley Sun was not aware of that.

Reader “Picking Up Kitty’s Cues” wrote to Dr. Vallard C. Forsythe and said that she was convinced her husband was cheating on her based on the peculiar behavior of their cat, Muffin Top.

Apparently, while her husband Bill has been clocking in extra hours at work, Muffin Top’s been busy peeing on Bill’s side of the bed — and twice on his laundry. A coincidence? Kitty Cues thinks not.

“My theory is that Muffin Top knows that my husband is lying to me about something and is punishing him,” she writes. “Whey else would it only be HIS cat acting weird and peeing on HIS side of the bed?”

Smartly, Dr. Forsythe does’t venture into the human drama (“I wouldn’t even try to pontificate the answer to that one for all the gold in Fort Knox or backstage passes to an Usher concert.”) But he does offer some sage advice on ol’ Muffin Top’s health — and reminds his readers that our cats are not Iyanla from “Iyanla: Fix My Life”.

“While it is true that animals can often sense things before humans can, it sounds to me like you need to face your marital situation head on rather than let Muffin Top and Cupcake sell you a load of baked goods. Cats are very sensitive to change in the house and when tensions run high, their behavior can change. This can often show up in aberrant urination or defecation. Don’t forget it could also be that one cat has a bladder infection causing him to urinate on the unoccupied side of the bed.”

In other words, sometimes a cat peeing all over your bed is just a cat peeing all over your bed.

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter. Sign up for our newsletter here.
Comedy – The Huffington Post
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Tracy McMillan, Relationship Expert, On The Key To Finding Your Spiritual Partnership (VIDEO)

Relationship expert Tracy McMillan, author of the blog “Why You’re Not Married,” uses a simple two-word prayer to help her make decisions in life. In the above clip from her appearance on “Super Soul Sunday,” she shares how it also helps her to let go of the people who aren’t meant to be in her life.

“Prayer is a big part of my spiritual practice and my prayers are very simple,” McMillan says. “It will be a prayer like this: Show me. Show me what you want me to do. Use me.

“Whenever I’m at a decision point in my life, it’ll be like I’m just going to open my hand and if it’s supposed to go away or if the wind is supposed to come along and blow whatever it is off my hand, let it go.”

McMillan takes the same approach to her relationships. She says that if you’re truthful with a partner about what you want and that causes them to leave, let them go. “It’s because they’re not for you,” she says. “You want them to go away sooner rather than later.”

“Absolutely,” Oprah agrees. “So many people are afraid that if I actually just tell the truth, then I’ll be alone and I won’t find anybody else. And this was my one chance.”

Tracy says the opposite will happen. “In fact, unless you tell the truth, you won’t find that spiritual partnership. Because the spiritual partnership is based on the truth.”

“Super Soul Sunday” airs Sundays at 11 a.m. ET on OWN.

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Put Down That Smartphone!: Your Eye Contact Establishes Who Is the Most Important Relationship for You at any Given Moment (really, really)

Dear Ms. Huffington:

I believe that my wife can thrive — and reach her maximum potential — by attending the Thrive Third Metric event in NYC; and also reading your book on the subject. In fact, I am convinced that she is in dire need of understanding your Thrive Third Metric model.

My wife has many things in common with you: brilliant, enterprising, accomplished, devoted, kind; and possesses the sort of inner light, depth, and true elegance of special beings. However, she frequently is unable to disconnect. She seems to misplace her “off switch.” Often, she is a slave to technology. Far too often, a ring tone or vibration, from her smartphone elicits her immediate attention. She needs to understand your Third Metric “manifesto.” And she needs to understand that her eyeballs signal very potently, at every moment, who has the true priority of her quite formidable, yet human, attention span.

I bought a ticket for my wife to attend the Thrive Third Metric event on Thursday and Friday of this week. My wife was reluctant to take time from her duties to be in NYC for 48 hours. It wasn’t until you “touched her” that she relented. I am thankful to you. You see, my wife’s well-being is monumentally important to me. So much so, that I took the huge liberty of attempting to reach you “cold,” to ask for your help. My wife is capable of doing great things to benefit the communities she belongs to; if she doesn’t burn out. If she thrives.

All indications are that my wife will be at the New York City Center on this next Thursday and Friday. Thank you for taking the time, and making the effort, to send an email to my wife. And thank you for raising consciousness that the Third Metric is essential to thriving.


Manuel R.D.J. vW.
GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Love Junkies: 7 Steps for Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle

Love Junkies: 7 Steps for Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle

A “Hand Up” for Women Stuck in the Toxic Love Rut Do romantic relationships leave you miserable and confused? Are you tired of getting into a relationship and as soon as the initial buzz is gone you get that sinking feeling that whispers, what am I doing? Did the new wear off as soon as the wedding bells rang? Experts say that we gravitate toward relationships within a ten-point spread of our own IQ. Likewise, in the realm of soul-health, we also attract those with whom we are most emotionally compatible. That can be a good thing, or a bad thing – it depends on how much baggage we carry around What if there was a way to diagnose your soul-health and create a plan for improvement so you could enjoy more satisfying romantic relationships? Complete with an online Soul-Health Profile that will help you assess your own soul-health and identify areas of weaknesses, Love Junkies is just that – an action plan and detailed guide to help you eliminate toxic behaviors that jeopardize your soul health and keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships. You’ll learn how to change your habits and heal your soul and most importantly, break the toxic relationship cycle FOREWORD: By Shannon Ethridge, bestselling author of the “Every Woman’s Battle” books with Steve Arterburn, and “The Sexually Confident Woman.”

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