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Today, Be Kind to Yourself

The Kavanaugh-Blasey testimonies have stirred up painful memories for many. Here’s what you can do about it.
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Your A-to-Z Guide to Skin Care Today

A helpful rundown of the trendiest ingredients of the moment—from humble drugstore staples to extravagant masks made of 24-karat gold.
WSJ.com: Lifestyle

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Tom Brady Freaking Out About a Bear Is the Funniest Thing You’ll See Today

It wasn’t a Chicago Bear, but Tom Brady was still pretty excited to see a big fuzzy dude over the Fourth of July.

In a video posted to his Instagram story and shared by Huffington Post, the 40-year-old football star had an extra-close encounter with a brown bear while hanging in Montana.

“There’s a BEAR,” he whispers enthusiastically before panning over to the animal, before bringing the camera back to himself for another little freak out — which we don’t blame him for.

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

The New England Patriots quarterback is seemingly out west with his parents, celebrating his mom Galynn’s 74th birthday on July 4th amid her cancer battle.


PEOPLE.com

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MoviePass Peak Pricing Goes Into Effect Today

MoviePass has officially launched its Peak Pricing surcharge, which adds an additional fee for the most popular movies during their busiest showtimes.

Peak Pricing, which was officially announced last month, has started showing up for certain showtimes today. MoviePass has sent out an email to all of its subscribers earlier today detailing the change to this service.

unnamed

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Nintendo Voice Chat LIVE – Today at 3 PM PT/6 PM ET!

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NVC LIVE Exclusively on IGN.com Today at 3 PM PT/6 PM ET!

Hey! Listen! NVC will be live streaming IGN’s weekly Nintendo Podcast this Thursday exclusively on ign.com!

Join Filip, Peer, Brian, and Casey this Thursday at 3:00 PM PT/6:00 PM ET as they discuss the latest Nintendo releases and chat with the community LIVE! Don’t worry, you can still catch the full episode on Friday as usual on YouTube.com/NintendoVoiceChat and your favorite podcast listening services.

NVCLive (1)

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50 Years After Dr. King’s Death, New Lessons for Today

The National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis is a monument to a movement, and to its leader. It offers crucial insights for 2018, and for the future.
NYT > Arts

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s New Trailer Is Probably the Most Dramatic Thing You’ll See Today

Real Housewives of AtlantaIf you thought The Real Housewives of Atlanta season 10 was dramatic so far, you haven’t seen anything yet. In the exclusive preview above, the ladies of ATL don’t hold anything…

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Gilded-Age Decorating Advice That Holds Up Today

Who knew Edith Wharton was a decorating genius? New York interior designer Thomas Jayne finds contemporary truths in her maxims, first published in 1897.
WSJ.com: Lifestyle

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Prince Harry edits Radio 4’s Today: Obama and Charles interviewed

The prince says he chose to highlight “incredibly important topics” as guest editor of Radio 4’s Today.
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Chris Farley Died 20 Years Ago Today: Relive His 5 Best Moments From Saturday Night Live

Chris Farley, David Spade, Christina ApplegateToday marks the 20th anniversary of Chris Farley’s death. David Spade, who starred alongside Farley in the film Tommy Boy, commemorated the comedian’s death on Twitter.
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E! Online (US) – Top Stories

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Daily Deals: Breath of the Wild Amiibo Out Today, Super-Fast Wireless Router

Welcome to IGN’s Daily Deals, your source for the best deals on the stuff you actually want to buy. If you buy something through this post, IGN may get a share of the sale. For more, read our Terms of Use.

Want IGN Deals in your social feeds? Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. Want deals in your inbox? Sign up for the IGN Deals Newsletter.

ddxboxonexprojectscorpioiXbox One X Project Scorpio Edition in stock on Amazon

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Review: NBC’s ‘Megyn Kelly Today’ Isn’t Partisan, but It’s Awkward

After a week on the air, Megyn Kelly’s NBC morning show feels like a forced effort to humanize a candidate.
NYT > Arts

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‘Today’ Show Teams Supports Savannah Guthrie at Book Party Hosted by Nanette Lepore

AFTER HOURS: The “Today” show team always has an up-and-at-’em start to the work day, but that didn’t deter the morning crew from supporting Savannah Guthrie at her book party at Nanette Lepore’s showroom Thursday night.
NBC’s Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Hoda Kotb, Bobbie Thomas and Willie Geist (who now coanchors MSNBC’s “Morning Joe”) turned up at the rooftop cocktail party. Newcomer Megyn Kelly, who kicked off her much-anticipated run on the morning show earlier in the week, was not in the crowd. Musician Jon Bon Jovi, who at one time was NBC’s artist in residence, made the rounds. Lepore opened up her West 35th Street showroom to about 70 guests who helped Guthrie celebrate the children’s book “Princesses Wear Pants.” The pair first met a few years ago when the designer did a fashion trend segment with Thomas on the morning show.
Lepore was on board with the empowerment message of Guthrie’s book, as well as its fashion theme, a company spokeswoman said. While Guthrie signed some books, partygoers indulged in mini Guinness beers and short-rib sandwiches, compliments of Peter Callahan Catering. As she routinely does on air, the guest of honor wore a look from Lepore, in this case an

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25 Ways To Have A Better Relationship Starting Today

It’s what we all want, isn’t it? A loving and caring relationship. A lasting partnership. A bond that gets better and stronger
Weddings
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What It Means to Be a Working-Class Clothing Brand in America Today

Carhartt navigates the murky waters.

Style – Esquire

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What Sells Wine Today: How One Manhattan Retailer is Thriving

Stories of wine retail in peril abound. How does one New York wine store compete, both locally and online?
WSJ.com: Lifestyle

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The Long View: ‘I Have Passed the Point of Reacting’: How the Watergate News Cycle Reads Today

Jon Meacham looks at three signature works about Watergate — by Elizabeth Drew, Art Buchwald and Theodore H. White — to see how the news of the ’70s resonates.
NYT > Books

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Real’s golden age: Back in the day or today? (Yahoo Sports)

Real Madrid

Sergio Ramos lifts the Champions League trophy during Real’s championship celebration at the Santiago Bernabeu in Madrid.



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Are Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey Getting Back Together? Here’s Where the Friendly Exes Stand Today

Mariah Carey, Nick CannonThey are two of Hollywood’s friendliest exes who just can’t seem to avoid the reconciliation rumors.
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E! Online (US) – Top Stories

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Francis Ford Coppola Says ‘The Godfather’ Wouldn’t Get Made Today

You haven’t seen devotion until you’ve been in a room with nearly 6,000 “Godfather” disciples. The manic fandom typically reserved for Comic-Con and “Star Wars” assemblies was front and center when Francis Ford Coppola and the cast reunited Saturday at the Tribeca Film Festival’s closing night. 

Capping off a nine-hour event that included screenings of “The Godfather” and “The Godfather Part II,” a 45th-anniversary panel discussion found Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, Robert De Niro, James Caan, Talia Shire and Rubert Duvall recounting the messy process of making a movie they never expected to become such a defining Hollywood signature.

The sold-out crowd at Radio City Music Hall had been boisterous throughout both films, cheering at iconic dialogue and almost every gruesome death or Corleone victory. Just imagine how enthusiastic they were by the time this A-list group took the stage. 

“The Godfather” is one of the most chronicled movies in history, as proven by the nearly 800-page annotated book Coppola published last year. Much of Saturday’s panel retread well-told stories: Paramount’s resistance to casting the crotchety Marlon Brando, the studio threatening to fire Coppola out of fear that his directorial choices would jeopardize the success, the fateful single take in which Coppola added a cat to the opening scene

Frenzy erupted when moderator Taylor Hackford asked the audience to shout out questions. One fan posed something that further explained the film’s fervent following: Could “The Godfather” be made today?

The answer, according to Coppola, is no.

Well, it could be made, he said, but it would be an offer major studios would have to refuse.

The first “Godfather” cost $ 6.5 million, Coppola explained. That’s the equivalent of about $ 38 million today, which would make it a mid-budget project in a market that’s overrun by tentpole titles costing well over $ 100 million apiece, he said. The “Godfather Part II” budget swelled to “$ 11 or $ 12 million,” or about $ 64 to $ 70 million nowadays. 

“It would never get through the process of getting an OK, or what they now call a green-light,” Coppola said. Contemporary Hollywood studios, he pointed out, are mostly interested in movies with built-in franchise potential ― “pretty much a Marvel comic,” a comment that provoked chuckles from the audience. 

“Basically there’s not enough wires,” Caan joked, referring to the suspension technique used to film superheroes and Hogwarts wizards in flight. 

Coppola and Caan’s assessment is painfully accurate: Original movies are no longer Hollywood’s breadwinners. The mid-budget adult release ― ranging from about $ 10 million to $ 70 million ― has become something of a relic over the past 15 years, replaced instead by comic-book adaptations, reboots and pre-determined cash cows. 

Even though it’s based on the popular novel by Mario Puzo, were Coppola to pitch “The Godfather” today, he would have a tough time securing the funds and support needed. The first installment made $ 245 million worldwide, which today amounts to $ 1.4 billion. For a film without animation or dazzling technical effects, that seems impossible in 2017.

Coppola said former MGM owner Kirk Kerkorian once asked how one makes a movie that is both financially and artistically successful. “I said to him, ‘Risk,’” he said. “Nobody wants the risk when you get into business.”

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Twitter’s #BenCarsonAltDictionary Is Your Required Reading For Today

You may have heard Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson’s recent comments on slavery, or as he called it, “involuntary immigration.”

Such an odd way of phrasing it. And by odd, we mean, batshit. For HuffPost Comedy’s hashtag game this week, we asked Twitter to help us write the #BenCarsonAltDictionary.

Here were just a few of the best:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Comedy – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Mobile Playboy today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Today Tours New Princess Diana Fashion Exhibit at Kensington Palace

Princess Diana, John TravoltaYou will now be able to see some of Princess Diana’s iconic wardrobe pieces up close–that is, if you’re willing to travel across the pond to Kensington Palace. But if you can’t make…

E! Online (US) – Fashion Police

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Who Wore It Better: Celebrity Moms in the ’90s or Their Daughters Today

ESC: Lisa Bonet, Zoe KravitzStyle just might be genetic.
After a week of head-turning street style, runway shows and A-list parties, it’s hard to ignore the epic parent-offspring relationships gracing the…

E! Online (US) – Fashion Police

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What’s the Best Game Publisher Today?

Welcome back to Game Scoop!, IGN’s weekly video game talk show. This week we’re discussing the best publishers, Zelda, Call of Duty, and more. Watch the video above or download the podcast below.

Download Game Scoop! Episode 424

Or subscribe in iTunes and never miss an episode.

OR subscribe to the NEW Game Scoop! YouTube channel and never miss a video.

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Ethnic American Food Today

Ethnic American Food Today


Ethnic American Food Today introduces readers to the myriad ethnic food cultures in the U.S. today. Entries are organized alphabetically by nation and present the background and history of each food culture along with explorations of the place of that food in mainstream American society today. Many of the entries draw upon ethnographic research and personal experience, giving insights into the meanings of various ethnic food traditions as well as into what, how, and why people of different ethnicities are actually eating today. The entries look at foodways-the network of activities surrounding food itself-as well as the beliefs and aesthetics surrounding that food, and the changes that have occurred over time and place. They also address stereotypes of that food culture and the culture’s influence on American eating habits and menus, describing foodways practices in both private and public contexts, such as restaurants, groceries, social organizations, and the contemporary world of culinary arts. Recipes of representative or iconic dishes are included. This timely two-volume encyclopedia addresses the complexity-and richness-of both ethnicity and food in America today.

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‘The force is dark today’: Stars mourn Carrie Fisher

Stars, friends and family have paid tribute to Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher, who has died aged 60.
Entertainment News – Latest Celebrity & Showbiz News | Sky News

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Coeliac Disease the hidden epidemic!: Discover The Amazing Health Benefits Of Gluten Free Foods And Avoid Coeliac/Celiac Disease Including Any Gluten Allergy Today!

Coeliac Disease the hidden epidemic!: Discover The Amazing Health Benefits Of Gluten Free Foods And Avoid Coeliac/Celiac Disease Including Any Gluten Allergy Today!


Without doubt, we may all like the taste and flavor that gluten add to our diet but it is also well known that it causes far reaching debilitating effects on many that it is not welcome in most homes as it’s brand-named unhealthy! However, the truth is that Gluten is a type of protein found in some certain foods like barley, malts, wheat, triticale and rye. In fact, Gluten is typically used to improve the taste or flavor of foods; besides, it can also act as stabilizers and thickeners for foods. As a matter of fact, it is usually branded as dextrin. Nevertheless, when we talk of a gluten free diet, we are referring to a diet which does not consist of foods containing the gluten protein. In that way, one can actually avoid the reaction to it as a result of allergies! But you need to bear in mind that the only type of therapy which has been clinically proven to help persons with a condition known as celiac or coeliac disease is to consume gluten free diet. This is why we shall be focusing on some gluten free foods with health benefits so that we can enjoy! Well, before I forget, let me say that other medical conditions that also respond to gluten free diet includes dermatitis herpetiformis and wheat allergies. And, it may interest you to know that oats may not qualify as a gluten free diet as a matter of fact medical professionals are yet to be certain that oats do not aggravate any reaction in persons suffering from celiac disease due to cross contagion in handling amenities. Now, the expression “gluten free” is used to display either a total absence, or a microscopic quantity of gluten. Well, where the total elimination is almost impossible …as in several cases, gluten free indicates there is a mild or harmless quantity of the protein since a total lack is doubtful. Yes, as a matter of fact, you need to bear in mind that ingesting less than 10mg of gluten daily is not likely to trigger any allergic reactions especially in persons that are sensitive to gluten.

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Lady Gaga Reveals She Has PTSD On ‘Today’ Show

Lady Gaga revealed in a “Today” segment that aired Monday that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, almost exactly two years after she opened up about being raped at the age of 19.

“I suffer from a mental illness — I suffer from PTSD. I’ve never told anyone that before, so here we are,” the singer said. 

“But the kindness that’s been shown to me by doctors — as well as my family and my friends — it’s really saved my life.” she added. “I’ve been searching for ways to heal myself, and I’ve found that kindness is the best way.”

The 30-year-old singer spoke to “Today” as part of the Share Kindness campaign, a partnership of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation and Today and NBC Universal. For the segment, Gaga visited the Ali Forney Center in Brooklyn, New York, where she spoke with homless LGBTQ youth.

“These children are not just homeless or in need. Many of them are trauma survivors. They’ve been rejected in some type of way,” she said. 

“I am no better than any of those kids. And I’m no worse than any of them,” she added. “We are equal. We both walk our two feet on the same earth. And we’re in this together.”

Gaga first revealed in 2014 that she had been raped as a teenager during an interview with “The Horward Stern Show.” At the time, she said she had waited to open up about the rape because she did not want it to “define” her.

Need help? Visit RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
Visit Gabby Love today for the hottest fashion entertainment online!
Ashley Madison - Have an affair. Married Dating, Affairs, Married Women, Extramarital Affair

Savannah Guthrie to Begin Maternity Leave: How the Today Show Celebrated Her Pregnancy

Savannah Guthrie, TodaySavannah Guthrie, co-anchor of NBC’s Today show, will begin her maternity leave Friday as she prepares to give birth to her second child.
She and husband Michael Feldman are expecting…

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StreetModa.com – Get a $25 Giftcard When You Spend $150 Today + Get a 30% Off Coupon to Use Later from StreetModa.com! Giftcard will be emailed to you before 11/28. Coupon will be emailed to you and can be used December 3-6! Offer ends today (11/21)

Get a $ 25 Giftcard When You Spend $ 150 Today + Get a 30% Off Coupon to Use Later from StreetModa.com! Giftcard will be emailed to you before 11/28. Coupon will be emailed to you and can be used December 3-6! Offer ends today (11/21)
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Never put off till tomorrow what you can drink today. Greeting Card

Never put off till tomorrow what you can drink today. Greeting Card


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Today Is the Day Hats Officially Became Uncool

Time to get a good haircut.

Style – Esquire

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Biblical Baby Names for Today: The Inspiration you need to make the perfect choice for you baby!

Biblical Baby Names for Today: The Inspiration you need to make the perfect choice for you baby!


Having a girl? Consider Abigail. This Hebrew names means “My father is joy or cause of joy” and is first found in 1 Samuel 25:2-3, 39. After her husband Nabal died, the widow Abigail became King David’s wife. Having a boy? What about Benjamin? Meaning “Son of my right hand and fortunate,” this is another Hebrew name. Benjamin is also the name of the child that Rachel bore Jacob before dying; he later became leader of one of the twelve tribes of Israel. You can find a mention of Benjamin in Genesis 35:18.Not sure yet?Think about a name that works for boys or girls, such as Jordan. This Hebrew name means “to flow or to descend”-as in the eponymous river-and is found throughout the Bible. In Biblical Baby Names for Today, you’ll find hundreds of biblical boys’ and girls’ names just like these, as well as their origins, true meanings, and citations within the New and Old Testaments. Complete with Bible stories that illustrate the most popular characters and their namesakes, this comprehensive guide makes finding the perfect name for your baby fun and easy.

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Culture Podcast: Star Wars Isn’t the Only Thing Worth Celebrating Today

Culture Podcast: Star Wars Isn’t the Only Thing Worth Celebrating Today

This week on the WIRED Culture podcast we’re getting a little nostalgic while also looking forward to a bright future. The post Culture Podcast: Star Wars Isn’t the Only Thing Worth Celebrating Today appeared first on WIRED.
WIRED

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�Schools of Tomorrow�, Schools of Today: What Happened to Progressive Education (History of Schools and Schooling, V. 8)

�Schools of Tomorrow�, Schools of Today: What Happened to Progressive Education (History of Schools and Schooling, V. 8)


�Schools of Tomorrow,� Schools of Today documents some of the child-centered progressive schools founded in the first half of the twentieth century and provides histories of some more contemporary examples of progressive practices. Part I discusses seven progressive schools founded in the first part of the twentieth century (Francis W. Parker; Organic; Park; City and Country; Lincoln; Dalton; Arthurdale), tracing them from their beginnings to the present, or until their regrettable demises. Part II examines four more contemporary schools (Butterfield; Free Union Country; Urban Academy; W. Haywood Burns), showing how progressive practices gained momentum from the 1960s onward. As a volume in the History of Schools and Schooling series, this book seeks to look to the past for what it can teach us today. The lessons from the past about what has happened to progressive education hopefully will inform contemporary debates.
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Today in Science: People Get Aroused When They Touch Robot Genitals

​It wasn’t even a cute robot. 

Lifestyle – Esquire

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Mr. Robot Star Rami Malek Has the Best Answer for How He Got Where He Is Today

Rami Malek is having a moment. The Mr. Robot star shot to fame over the summer with the USA series, then yesterday he received a SAG Award nomination for his portrayal of hacker Elliot Alderson….

E! Online (US) – TV News

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Today in Science: Women Reportedly Enjoy the Smell of Garlic Sweat

You crazy for this one, Science.

Lifestyle – Esquire

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The Mindy Project’s Passionate Egg-Freezing Plea Has Us Thinking Hard About Life Today

If you want a baby someday, but not right now, you might not have been able to sleep after this week's Mindy Project. Hell, I have a baby, and I still lay awake after it….


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The Word “Flattering” Is the #1 Enemy of Feminism Today

The worst compliment, in my eyes, isn’t “bubbly.” It isn’t even the auspicious “such a character.” The most backhanded, undermining and secretly mean thing you can say to somebody is to describe their sartorial choices as “flattering.” Not only is this a boring waste of words, but it also very much subtly implies that something about the person you’re offering probably unsolicited comment on needs said flattery; that without flattery this person is rendered in some way unacceptable.

And, not to turn this into a feminist issue (just kidding), you never, ever hear the word flattering in relation to a boy. Never are they applauded for covering up a balding head or concealing a could-be-pregnancy belly. So why are we so very used to hearing it in terms of the girls and their constantly perceived and pointed-out flaws? It’s annoying, unfair and turns clothes and makeup into a stressful, never-ending game of fixing – and it needs to stop.

To waste ones aesthetic choices entirely on trying to make oneself look better (read: more acceptable) is a borderline tragedy. If everyone is trying to “flatter” themselves into the same standardized image of attractiveness, everyone is molding themselves into the same bland abstraction of femaleness. And worse, no one is trying out things for fun, or to be different, or just to see what it looks like. A culture of fear-of-mistakes settles around how people dress or do their makeup, and that’s a sad thing.

Because, let’s be honest, a lot of what I do to myself isn’t what other people would think of as a “flattering” choice. I’ve been cultivating a uni-brow for the past year, and just recently taken to clipping my fringe into a center parting like a caricature of a nerd. I’m not interested in “flattering” my apparently problematic face and body, I don’t want to fix my imperfections and distract from my flaws. There is and should be an element of subjectivity here. One man’s “flattering” is another man’s “good God, what on earth is that?” That’s a good thing. And I’d rather elicit the “good God” response than the pernicious “flattering” any day.

So next time you sense some anxiety seeping into your getting-ready routine, take a moment. You pretty much look how you look, and there’s no point fearing that you’ve not adequately disguised your “problems”. Your problems aren’t problematic, they just exist. Instead of thinking about them, think about that exciting new metallic lipstick or those gloriously ugly shoes. By wearing something deliberately a bit off-key, the rest of you will look much more aesthetically pleasing in comparison. Now that’s the kind of flattering I can get on board with.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




Style – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS UPDATE-Visit Shoe Deals Online today for the hottest deals online for shoes!

How Keeping a ‘Today I Failed At’ Notebook Can Bring You Success

The first time I ever sang in public was two years ago in one of Greece’s most prestigious Theatre-arts audition rooms in front of some of the most celebrated actors, vocal coaches and directors of my birth country. Five days later I called and found out I hadn’t been accepted. I was devastated for an afternoon but the next morning I had university classes to attend to so I pulled myself together and plotted my next move.

2015-08-21-1440167364-145753-11938021_1636924349884181_6167239_n.jpg

At that time, I relied on physics laws to force me off the ground but it was only after I read Thrive that I was ready to plan my Failure crusade — corps. During my first encounters with failure, I was living by two scientific rules:

1. Inertia is “the property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity … so long as it is not acted upon by an external force”. One can either see failure as an intruding force in life and let it stop one’s movement or, rather, as an identifying force of life and continue undistracted. Once inertia is destigmatized, it reveals its motivating persona

2. Resilience is “the amount of potential energy stored in a material when deformed” and young cells are proven to be the most resilient. I perceive of all amateurs- college applicants, job seekers, new mothers, dieters, as being young. Failure must be seen as a deconstructive rather than a demolishing force. Resilience gives amateurs no other choice than to channel their potential energy into reconstruction

Crafting these quotes, I urged myself to stay restless and hungry for life. I made a bucket list of experiences and started crossing things off. As Arianna Huffington states in Thrive, some jobs are concluded once you admit to yourself that they will never happen. Making the best of my limit — oblivion, I would overreach and fail and then I would under reach and fail again. Once this book landed in my hands, I had set up an immune system for failure but was seeking for advise to turn this into something productive.

2015-08-21-1440168722-2325103-hiking.jpg

Little by little, simple suggested practices turned into essential habits of my everyday life. I started hiking, organizing my diaries and reviewing them, taking on new projects and giving up on old ones. I would quote passages to my family and friends and then follow up with my own interpretations. Arianna Huffington will not drag you to the finish line but will cheer your way through the track. She helped me build a self coaching — non psychologist mediated — system. She gave me what I needed to turn failure into possibility.

I moved on to set up my Today I Failed At notebook, along with a Facebook page to introduce it. My fail-book, is an everyday diary that consists of six simple sections:
1. Date — section
2. Today I failed at — section where I write what I did not achieve today
3. Comments I gathered — section
4. Feelings — section
5. Do I persist — section (with yes and no tick boxes)
6. If yes, thoughts on adjustments — section

2015-08-21-1440167034-7069494-ScreenShot20150821at1.15.53PM.png

Today I Failed At users must commit to the following ground rules:
1. Admit irreversible defeat and let go
and most importantly,
2. Revise the adjustments section once a week

After a few months of Today I Failed At coaching, here are my re-adjusted failure quotes:

Nothing will be perfect in the end. Life is not a classroom with predictable pop quizzes. It will throw failures your way again and again. The more you are prepared for them, the more appreciative you’ll be of success

People who have only succeeded have died young. Take Huffington’s advise, redefine success and work for it

Always compare yourself to others. Are you healthy? Do you have food on the table? Do you have a family? Do you live in a peaceful country? Do you have freedom? Do you have access to education? As many times as you fail there’s always someone out there who only wishes to have had your luck. Quit misery. Be grateful

Nurture failures, not champions. Celebrate your children’s defeats as indicators of evolution. Embrace the opportunity and teach them about quitting, re-strategizing and being fearless. Help them dive into life

-You might feel powerful when you don’t know what your limits are but you will only thrive, once you make them work to your advantage

Become a thriving failure crusader.

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— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

7 Things That Get Me High Today (Instead of Booze)

This was originally published at TheFix.com

A lot of people will say that one of the hardest things about sobriety is learning how to have free time. The time that would typically be spent using and getting high is suddenly an intimidating emptiness. For many people, free time is dangerous because it allows them to dwell on missing the high, craving the high. As I’ve witnessed too many times, this can often lead to relapse. So how do you fill a void in your life? Simple: Fill it with something else, something healthier.

Since getting sober, I’ve realized getting high is a state of mind. I would consider getting high to be anything that alters your state of mind in a seemingly positive way — anything that makes you feel above your average self. Alcohol used to do this for me, but since getting sober two years ago, I’ve had to find a number of replacements. The upside of these replacements? They don’t negatively affect my decision-making abilities or get me into trouble with the law or anyone else. The downside? Well, there really isn’t one.

1. Running/lifting/exercise in general. While I’ve yet to experience that runner’s high (I mean, come on, when done running five miles, most people just wanna curl up and cry), exercise still puts me in a clear frame of mind that not much else does. I feel empowered and confident afterwards, much like I felt when I was drinking, but this is actually real. It’s a very healthy time filler, but also has the danger of becoming a cross-addiction–in other words, a replacement for the addiction you are fighting. As with everything in life, moderation is key.

2. Reading. I really, really missed books when I was drinking. Between homework and required reading, I never made time to read for fun. Any free time was spent drinking or recovering from drinking. Now that I’m sober (and no longer have homework), I’ve rediscovered the world of books. They’re so simple to get lost in. Hours can pass when I’m reading and I barely notice–much like a drunken haze, except I’m taking in valuable information instead of making a fool of myself. I think it’s clear which is the better choice.

3. Spending time with the people I love. Sometimes I’m just watching TV with my family, or eating dinner, and it crosses my mind how lucky I am to have people who love me unconditionally. I, as do many people, too often take that for granted when so many people don’t have love like that in their lives.

4. A real relationship. There’s not much that compares to looking at a person when they’re performing a mundane task, such as washing dishes, and literally feeling love fill you up and almost well over. I never had this until I got sober, and I still have trouble believing the relationship I am in really exists. I have trouble believing anything that’s not a drug can make me feel the way a loving relationship does, but it’s true. A real relationship has made me confident, happy, content in my own skin — all things I searched for through drinking before. Now, I don’t have to.

5. Coming home to my pets. This is such a brief part of my day, but a huge part of theirs. It’s an affirming feeling to know that both your absence and presence matter to someone, even if that someone is a furry, four-legged friend who expresses his love through hurling his 80-pound body at you the second you walk in the door. Pets have a way of really making you feel as if you matter, and they have an insight unlike that of humans.

6. Speaking about sobriety. When I first got sober at Hazelden (a rehab center), I swore that the second I was out those doors, I was never walking back in. Not because I planned on staying sober, but because I hated it that much. A few months after being discharged, I walked back in willingly to speak to a group of patients. It was then that I realized the importance of sharing experiences. Something happens when you tell your story and you see it resonate with someone, even just one person. A light appears in their eyes and they think, “Oh, I’m not the only one.” I know because I was one of those patients, and someone who spoke impacted me that way. That day, she was just a person with a story like mine. Today, she is my sponsor and close friend. The same is true of me for one of the patients I spoke to. Life has a funny way of repeating itself. Speaking about my journey still hurts sometimes, but I also learn something about myself each and every time.

7. Writing. I saved the best for last. Flannery O’Connor once said, “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” I truly believe those words. I would not still be sober if it weren’t for writing as an outlet. Writing, whether for myself or an audience, has made me see the reality of the way I was living when I was drinking. Some people are visual, and I am one of them. Seeing raw, honest words in front of me has a way of driving home a point more than simply thinking something does. In addition to that, knowing other people read what I write and draw something from it holds me accountable. I don’t want to let myself down, but more than that, I don’t want to let them down. Writing, once published, is permanent — so the actions that accompany it should be intentional and honest. Readers deserve nothing less.

___________________

Need help with substance abuse or mental health issues? In the U.S., call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

18 Really Simple Ways To Make Today Better

On days when things seem a little dark, a change of perspective, a mantra or a loving reminder is sometimes all it takes to see a little light. Chocolate cake is helpful, too.

The hashtag #MakeLifeBetterIn3Words has been trending on Twitter lately, highlighting the fact that simple actions, thoughts and reframing can be all it takes to pull yourself out of a rut. We scoured a bunch of tweets and selected 18 inspirational three-word phrases that help those figurative rainclouds dissipate. Check out the words that make life better below, then share your own on Twitter or in the comments section. 

Also on HuffPost:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.




GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
Special News Bulletin-http://www.acrx.org -As millions of Americans strive to deal with the economic downturn,loss of jobs,foreclosures,high cost of gas,and the rising cost of prescription drug cost. Charles Myrick ,the President of American Consultants Rx, announced the re-release of the American Consultants Rx community service project which consist of millions of free discount prescription cards being donated to thousands of not for profits,hospitals,schools,churches,etc. in an effort to assist the uninsured,under insured,and seniors deal with the high cost of prescription drugs.-American Consultants Rx -Pharmacy Discount Network News

Alternative, Country, Hip-Hop, Rap, and More: Music from the 1980s to Today

Alternative, Country, Hip-Hop, Rap, and More: Music from the 1980s to Today


New – With music today available on YouTube, online and satellite radio, MTV, through digital downloads, and on iPods and other handheld devices, we may think that we have heard all there is to hear about modern artists. The stories behind the songs that keep us humming are less often explored. Readers will learn how some of the most popular musicians todayentertainers such as Madonna, Adele, Kanye West, and Taylor Swiftrose to fame and made important musical breakthroughs, all while paying trib

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Do You Know Why I’m Pulling You Over, Being Wildly Aggressive, And Charging You With Assault Today, Sir?

Good afternoon, sir. Go ahead and roll your window all the way down for me. My name is Officer Daniel McEwen from the Greene County Police Department. Now, do you know why I’m pulling you over today, being overly aggressive, and charging you with a felony count of assaulting a police officer?

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This Makeup Artist’s Monster Transformations Are The Scariest Things You’ll See Today

Special effects and makeup artist Emily Anderson’s Instagram page is one you won’t be able to unsee. But we’re not sure whether that’s a good or bad thing.

The 23-year-old’s account is filled with hauntingly awesome makeup transformations turning Anderson into monsters, gremlins and villains. Armed with lots of water-based paints, highly-pigmented shadow palettes and patience, she’s morphed her upper body into three-dimensional versions of Doomsday, Medusa and Gizmo.

emily anderson makeup

Anderson honed her makeup artistry skills at the Cinema Makeup School in Los Angeles and on the sets of film, TV shows and music videos, including “Lizzie Borden’s Revenge,” “American Horror Story” and David Guetta and Nicki Minaj’s “Hey Mama.”

She began dabbling with monster transformations back in 2014, and picked it up again in March. “I was inspired originally by body paint that pro wrestler Finn Balor had worn actually,” she told The Huffington Post. “I ended up having the chance to do his body paint for a match in San Jose for Wrestle Mania Weekend.”

To help seamlessly blend the makeup out into the crevices and folds of her skin, Anderson uses a total of four makeup brushes and sometimes the BeautyBlender. For more heavy duty long-wear makeup looks, she reaches for airbrush paints.

All of Anderson’s monster transformations seem incredibly complex to achieve. “The raptor was pretty complicated because of the angles involved, but some of the Disney scenes or Gizmo took more detail,” she said. “I try to challenge myself each time so they are all a little difficult or complicated for me to work out in some way!”

emily anderson makeup

When it’s time to take it all off, she swears by soap and water for the water-based paints, 99-percent alcohol to remove the airbrush and alcohol colors, and Neutrogena makeup remover wipes for anything that’s left over.

See some of Emily Anderson’s most gruesome transformations below and head over to her Instagram page for more looks.

H/T Bustle


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Style – The Huffington Post
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Geeking Out With Misty Copeland’s First Ballet Teacher On The Bigness Of Today

misty copeland

“I realized that I could put her body into positions and she could hold them and all of the positions were beautiful.”

Tuesday morning, the American Ballet Theatre stopped delaying the inevitable and finally appointed Misty Copeland a principal ballerina. The first black principal in ABT’s 75-year history, Copeland is also a bonafide cultural icon — a Time cover star with more than a half a million followers on Instagram. As Copeland’s famously varied fans could tell you, the 32-year-old is a true anomaly: neither white nor lanky, but blessed with a physically extraordinary body deemed by short-sighted gatekeepers early in her career as unfit for ballet.

The challenges started early for Copeland. Much of her childhood played out in a two-room motel suite with five siblings and a single mom in San Pedro, California. She also came dauntingly late to ballet: she was 13, an age when most future students have been training half their lives, when a ballet teacher coaxed the shy, watchful girl down from the bleachers at the San Pedro YMCA to join a class unfolding in the gym. That teacher was Cindy Bradley, a soft-spoken former company dancer who would go on to play an intimate and complex role in Copeland’s life, even raising the dancer in her home for a time amidst an ugly custody battle.

We rang Bradley at her studio, where she continues to teach ballet. In between conversations with students, she told us what it feels like when a teacher’s wildest dreams come true.

Here is a blast from the past – Capezio ad when Misty was a spokesperson circa 2002: ENJOY!

Posted by Misty Copeland on Thursday, August 26, 2010

What has today been like?
The phone keeps ringing! It’s just incredible.

What was it that led you to persuade Misty to join your class that day, nearly two decades ago?
The fact that she was watching so intently and that she seemed very shy. I knew she had to be asked. She wouldn’t come down without being asked. She was 13, and she was just tiny.

Did you see something in her immediately?
When she came down, she took the bar and we started class and I realized that I could put her body into positions and she could hold them and all of the positions were beautiful. I knew immediately that she was extremely gifted.

Was it her build, or some innate ability?
It was the lines. I would take her leg and pull it out, extend it, and then take her foot and point it and say, “Ok, hold that.” She was able to make beautiful lines from the beginning. She just had all the makings of a beautiful dancer.

misty copeland

Where dancers typically master the art of standing on pointe over the course of several years, Copeland — seen here at age 14 — took just three months, according to Bradley.

And no training.
She was on her drill team at middle school, but that was it.

You’ve said before that you were struck with a vision of a possible future for the little girl in front of you. Does today’s news come close to what you saw in your mind on that basketball court?
I think at the time, I was seeing her potential of what she could do as a dancer. I also knew that she could possibly be in a position of being a role model. But all of this took the incredible hard work — continuous hard work — by Misty. I knew she was going to do great dancing, but this is just almost too impossible to even dream of.

Do you see her young self when you watch her dance today?
Absolutely. We actually just got back from New York City where we saw her do “Swan Lake.” When I look into her eyes, she is still that sweet girl. That heart that we fell in love with is still there, that I think the world has fallen in love with. They’ve fallen in love with Misty, not just her dancing.

“I will forever fight, performing like it’s my last show.” #lifeinmotion

A photo posted by Misty Copeland (@mistyonpointe) on

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Arts – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Adults Playland today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Geeking Out With Misty Copeland’s First Ballet Teacher On The Bigness Of Today

misty copeland

“I realized that I could put her body into positions and she could hold them and all of the positions were beautiful.”

Tuesday morning, the American Ballet Theatre stopped delaying the inevitable and finally appointed Misty Copeland a principal ballerina. The first black principal in ABT’s 75-year history, Copeland is also a bonafide cultural icon — a Time cover star with more than a half a million followers on Instagram. As Copeland’s famously varied fans could tell you, the 32-year-old is a true anomaly: neither white nor lanky, but blessed with a physically extraordinary body deemed by short-sighted gatekeepers early in her career as unfit for ballet.

The challenges started early for Copeland. Much of her childhood played out in a two-room motel suite with five siblings and a single mom in San Pedro, California. She also came dauntingly late to ballet: she was 13, an age when most future students have been training half their lives, when a ballet teacher coaxed the shy, watchful girl down from the bleachers at the San Pedro YMCA to join a class unfolding in the gym. That teacher was Cindy Bradley, a soft-spoken former company dancer who would go on to play an intimate and complex role in Copeland’s life, even raising the dancer in her home for a time amidst an ugly custody battle.

We rang Bradley at her studio, where she continues to teach ballet. In between conversations with students, she told us what it feels like when a teacher’s wildest dreams come true.

Here is a blast from the past – Capezio ad when Misty was a spokesperson circa 2002: ENJOY!

Posted by Misty Copeland on Thursday, August 26, 2010

What has today been like?
The phone keeps ringing! It’s just incredible.

What was it that led you to persuade Misty to join your class that day, nearly two decades ago?
The fact that she was watching so intently and that she seemed very shy. I knew she had to be asked. She wouldn’t come down without being asked. She was 13, and she was just tiny.

Did you see something in her immediately?
When she came down, she took the bar and we started class and I realized that I could put her body into positions and she could hold them and all of the positions were beautiful. I knew immediately that she was extremely gifted.

Was it her build, or some innate ability?
It was the lines. I would take her leg and pull it out, extend it, and then take her foot and point it and say, “Ok, hold that.” She was able to make beautiful lines from the beginning. She just had all the makings of a beautiful dancer.

misty copeland

Where dancers typically master the art of standing on pointe over the course of several years, Copeland — seen here at age 14 — took just three months, according to Bradley.

And no training.
She was on her drill team at middle school, but that was it.

You’ve said before that you were struck with a vision of a possible future for the little girl in front of you. Does today’s news come close to what you saw in your mind on that basketball court?
I think at the time, I was seeing her potential of what she could do as a dancer. I also knew that she could possibly be in a position of being a role model. But all of this took the incredible hard work — continuous hard work — by Misty. I knew she was going to do great dancing, but this is just almost too impossible to even dream of.

Do you see her young self when you watch her dance today?
Absolutely. We actually just got back from New York City where we saw her do “Swan Lake.” When I look into her eyes, she is still that sweet girl. That heart that we fell in love with is still there, that I think the world has fallen in love with. They’ve fallen in love with Misty, not just her dancing.

“I will forever fight, performing like it’s my last show.” #lifeinmotion

A photo posted by Misty Copeland (@mistyonpointe) on

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Style – The Huffington Post
FASHION NEWS UPDATE-Visit Shoe Deals Online today for the hottest deals online for shoes!

Geeking Out With Misty Copeland’s First Ballet Teacher On The Bigness Of Today

misty copeland

“I realized that I could put her body into positions and she could hold them and all of the positions were beautiful.”

Tuesday morning, the American Ballet Theatre stopped delaying the inevitable and finally appointed Misty Copeland a principal ballerina. The first black principal in ABT’s 75-year history, Copeland is also a bonafide cultural icon — a Time cover star with more than a half a million followers on Instagram. As Copeland’s famously varied fans could tell you, the 32-year-old is a true anomaly: neither white nor lanky, but blessed with a physically extraordinary body deemed by short-sighted gatekeepers early in her career as unfit for ballet.

The challenges started early for Copeland. Much of her childhood played out in a two-room motel suite with five siblings and a single mom in San Pedro, California. She also came dauntingly late to ballet: she was 13, an age when most future students have been training half their lives, when a ballet teacher coaxed the shy, watchful girl down from the bleachers at the San Pedro YMCA to join a class unfolding in the gym. That teacher was Cindy Bradley, a soft-spoken former company dancer who would go on to play an intimate and complex role in Copeland’s life, even raising the dancer in her home for a time amidst an ugly custody battle.

We rang Bradley at her studio, where she continues to teach ballet. In between conversations with students, she told us what it feels like when a teacher’s wildest dreams come true.

Here is a blast from the past – Capezio ad when Misty was a spokesperson circa 2002: ENJOY!

Posted by Misty Copeland on Thursday, August 26, 2010

What has today been like?
The phone keeps ringing! It’s just incredible.

What was it that led you to persuade Misty to join your class that day, nearly two decades ago?
The fact that she was watching so intently and that she seemed very shy. I knew she had to be asked. She wouldn’t come down without being asked. She was 13, and she was just tiny.

Did you see something in her immediately?
When she came down, she took the bar and we started class and I realized that I could put her body into positions and she could hold them and all of the positions were beautiful. I knew immediately that she was extremely gifted.

Was it her build, or some innate ability?
It was the lines. I would take her leg and pull it out, extend it, and then take her foot and point it and say, “Ok, hold that.” She was able to make beautiful lines from the beginning. She just had all the makings of a beautiful dancer.

misty copeland

Where dancers typically master the art of standing on pointe over the course of several years, Copeland — seen here at age 14 — took just three months, according to Bradley.

And no training.
She was on her drill team at middle school, but that was it.

You’ve said before that you were struck with a vision of a possible future for the little girl in front of you. Does today’s news come close to what you saw in your mind on that basketball court?
I think at the time, I was seeing her potential of what she could do as a dancer. I also knew that she could possibly be in a position of being a role model. But all of this took the incredible hard work — continuous hard work — by Misty. I knew she was going to do great dancing, but this is just almost too impossible to even dream of.

Do you see her young self when you watch her dance today?
Absolutely. We actually just got back from New York City where we saw her do “Swan Lake.” When I look into her eyes, she is still that sweet girl. That heart that we fell in love with is still there, that I think the world has fallen in love with. They’ve fallen in love with Misty, not just her dancing.

“I will forever fight, performing like it’s my last show.” #lifeinmotion

A photo posted by Misty Copeland (@mistyonpointe) on

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.



Entertainment – The Huffington Post
Entertainment News-Visit Adults Playland today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

This V. Wise Cat Understands How Hard It Is To Be An Artist Today

“Sometimes people ask me, is it harder to be a director because you’re a cat? I mean, sure, sometimes it’s hard to get a director to take you seriously when you have paws instead of hands or whatever. But most of the people I meet are honestly really great.”

This is Emily. She’s a cat; a lady cat, to be specific. And an aspiring filmmaker. And she gets it.

She knows what it’s like to compare yourself to your peers and hate yourself for it. She understands having big ideas but no cash or time to make it happen. She gets it when you spend hours stalking success stories on Twitter and IMDB and dive headfirst into a shame spiral. She’s a smart kitty.

cat1

YouTube

This wise feline is the brainchild of Los Angeles-based filmmaker Yulin Kuang. If Marcel the Shell and Paw Paw from The Future had a very creative offspring, she’d be it.

cat

YouTube

If she’s not already taken, we’d really like her to be our mentor. Preach, girl.

H/T Buzzfeed

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Arts – The Huffington Post
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS-Visit Adults Playland today for the hottest adult entertainment online!

Amy Sherman-Palladino Says ‘Gilmore Girls’ Couldn’t Exist Today

“Gilmore Girls” creator Amy Sherman-Palladino says TV has changed so much in the past 15 years, the show simply couldn’t exist today.

“Today, you don’t sell ‘Gilmore Girls,’ nobody buys it,” Sherman-Palladino, the show’s co-creator, said on Saturday during her panel ahead of the “Gilmore Girls” reunion at ATX Television Festival. She argued that it was only because of the lack of bureaucratic obstacles from the Warner Bros. network that “Gilmore Girls” was able to flourish as it did when she first sold the idea for the show in 2000.

“It was a time when a network wasn’t looking for a cohesive brand,” she continued. “Their brand was about the individual voices of the show.”

Sherman-Palladino is an especially individual voice, to say the least. “I don’t like rules,” she quipped.

“They kind of just left us alone, which doesn’t happen anymore,” she said. “We kind of just ran wild like crazy meth kids around the Warner Brothers lot.”

One of the things she and her husband and co-creator, Dan Palladino, did with that freedom was to cast Milo Ventimiglia without even having a part for him. She thought he was “cute” and decided to sign him before someone else did, before ever thinking up the role of Jess.

That free rein, though, came to an end. Ultimately, Sherman-Palladino left before the final season, due to contract disputes as the WB switched over to become the CW.

“It’s always a bummer when you have to end things,” she said. “I had hoped there would be a call, like, ‘Hey, it’s the last episode, do you want to end it?’ But that didn’t happen.”

“It was a wonderful, golden time,” she added with a sigh. “But it ended.”

Lauren Duca is currently covering the ATX Television Festival for The Huffington Post. Follow her on Twitter @laurenduca and expect much more to come!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

Entertainment – The Huffington Post
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10 Gorgeous Portraits of Real Brides and Grooms Who Got Married Today

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5 Things to Do Today to Save Your Relationship

The decline of a relationship is an awful thing to experience. More often than not, the process starts slowly, and we hardly notice little ways we may be pulling back or growing apart. Eventually, negative dynamics start to evolve, then persist for so long that we have trouble knowing where to start when it comes to repairing the relationship.

When thinking about where things went wrong, it’s important to recognize that a lot of what we do to ruin our relationships has to do with us. Much of how we act is based on programming from our past and defenses we’ve built that cause us to overreact, distort or even provoke the people we feel closest to. Because the only person we can control or change in a relationship is ourselves, it’s almost always worth it to do what we can to develop ourselves before we throw in the towel with our partner.

When things get complicated with someone we love, sometimes the best thing to do is go back to the basics and keep things simple. We can start by setting aside that giant case we’ve long built against our partner and starting fresh with simple acts of kindness, affection and love. This doesn’t mean living in a fantasy or avoiding dealing with real issues, but it’s a means of reconnecting with warm, loving feelings we may have cast aside. It’s a quest to reignite what worked about the relationship, so we and our partner are on the same team and in a better place when it comes to dealing with problems. Here are five things that can help any couple turn this important corner.

1. Express love in a way your partner would experience as loving
This may not sound like a very specific or especially scientific suggestion, but so often we forget to attune to our partner and do the things we know make them feel loved. Particularly when there’s tension in the relationship, we tend to focus on what we’re getting (or not getting) over what we’re giving. We build a case against our partner, and as a defense, we withhold our affections and resist being open and vulnerable.

The more distance created, the more ready we are to feel critical or put our guard up. We start to live more inwardly, getting in our own heads, quantifying, judging or indulging in a tit-for-tat mentality about what our partner does and doesn’t do for us. The truth is, it feels really good to be loving. Studies even show that people get more pleasure from giving than receiving. It’s important to pay attention to our partner and engage in kind actions that he or she would perceive as being cared for. For instance, getting flowers or going out to dinner may feel like romantic gestures to us, but to our partner, they may prefer taking some time to joke around or be affectionate. Try to offer something that you know will have unique value to them. Engaging in such loving acts actually makes us feel more in love.

2. Be affectionate
Most couples wonder how they went from not being able to keep their hands off each other to rarely making physical contact. Unfortunately, society tends to justify this pattern, reinforcing the idea that long-term couples are unsuitable for “puppy love” or PDA. Yet, this elimination of affection is a sad and slow progression that often starts when a couple transitions from being a “you” and a “me” to becoming a “we.” Of course, finding a connection with someone is thrilling and meaningful, but losing yourself and your separate identity in the mix is paving a dangerous road. People feel most attracted to their partner when they see them as someone separate from themselves, someone they are able to love, respect and appreciate for their unique qualities.

When couples replace substance (real acts of love) with form (the practical roles of being in a relationship), they enter into a “fantasy bond.” This bond represents an illusion of connection that actually kills off passion and attraction. We can keep the spark alive by refusing to give up our own, natural desire to express love on a physical level. Hold hands, kiss in public, sit close on the couch, touch casually in passing, and you’ll be surprised to see the depths of desire and feelings of intimacy that arise.

3. Slow down
We hear these two words all the time, but we rarely live by them. For most of us slowing down means plopping on the couch or zoning out to the TV the minute our chaotic to-do list is done. No matter how hectic our schedule, there are ways to take pause within our own minds and reconnect with ourselves throughout the day. Mindfulness provides a way of checking in with ourselves, which is one of interpersonal neurobiology expert Dr. Daniel Siegel‘s essential aspects on his “healthy mind platter.”

Mindfulness allows us to breathe and be present in the moment. In these times of reconnection, we are not only more in touch with ourselves, but we are better able to recognize and be attuned to our partner. We are more mindful of our actions toward them. We are also more aware of our feelings of desire and attraction.

When we are more present, we can make an effort to really connect, communicate and make eye contact. Again, this may feel like a no-brainer, but in truth, looking each other in the eye is one of the things we forget to do on a daily basis. Just looking at our partner and really seeing him or her as a whole person, separate from ourselves, can further rekindle our empathy, interest and attraction.

4. Try something old
As a relationship advances, it becomes all too easy to make excuses not to make time for each other. When we do get together, we may do things out of a sense of form or obligation. Relationships tend to start fizzling out when we stop sharing the lively things we used to share with our partner. Moreover, once things start to fizzle out, we become even less inclined to share these activities. The cycle that’s created forces more and more distance between partners. We can challenge this by making a commitment to take part in activities we and our partner used to share and enjoy together. If we used to go on walks, we shouldn’t let a long workday dissuade us from getting outside. Participating in activities that light us up or that light our partner up helps us stay close with our partner, while feeling the most ourselves.

5. Try something new
When people first get together, they often grow each other’s worlds, introducing each other to new people, places, interests and activities. When we fall in love, we are in a state in which we feel the most open and alive. As our relationship progresses, and the more we replace real love with a fantasy bond, the more we tend to resist anything new. Especially as we get older, we can become more self-protective or further drawn to routine. We may start to feel more entitled to our partner or more jealous or possessive and, therefore, put restrictions on each other. In effect, we start to limit or shrink each other’s worlds, rather than expanding them. We can keep love alive by continuing to be game to try new things. The more adventures we can create with each other in our day-to-day lives, the more awake we will feel to everything we experience, particularly intimacy and closeness.

In almost every relationship, there comes a time when we are challenged to the point of questioning whether to walk away. In fact when I interviewed my friend Jim Gilligan, who has been married to his wife Carol for almost 50 years, he said “you are not really married until you realize you can leave, and you don’t.” I encourage every couple I meet who has ever felt truly happy and alive with each other, who once felt like the best version of themselves, while being in the relationship, to stick in there and try to develop themselves. Otherwise, they are very likely to repeat the same patterns in yet another situation, perhaps one that isn’t even as meaningful or rewarding.

Relationships are a great place to work on ourselves. There is no harm in trying each of the above steps, as you truly have nothing to lose. The worst case scenario is that you will have grown your own capacity to be loving, vulnerable, passionate and lively. The best case scenario is that you and your partner will grow closer and rekindle your loving feelings for each other.

Read more from Dr. Lisa Firestone at PsychAlive.org

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GPS for the Soul – The Huffington Post
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